Nexar

Having the ammunition on the opposite side of the gun is common to most ponies not wearing power armor or being outfitted with cybernetics to no end. The feeding belt or aquivalent in case of an energy weapon either goes over their back or under their belly, making reloading as well as unjamming almost impossible for an earth pony.

Either way, say something here when you have edited it. Then I'll look over it again.

You already apologized and I have already offered you to come back.

Well, right now he has no gun.

But: I accept him!

Let's see what the admin says.

Feel free to change it to unicorn.

And no, this is not an anthro rp. (Okay, by the strict definition of anthro it is, but...)

Our ponies don't have habds and walk on all four but can speak and everything.

One tiny last thing:

6-Musician at heart-while listening to music from a radio for example, gains a +10 bonus to MEDICAL skill tests.

You already have a Medical skill of 100. Better write that he get's a +20% bonus on Medical skill tests. This should give you a nice bonus.

Name: Red Cross

Alias: Doc

Sex:Male

Age: 20

Species: Earth Pony

​Appearance: a white stallion with red, scruffy mane and tail. His eyes are blue, and he stands at a short and lean stature.

Physique: lean

Origin/residence: Stalliongrad

Occupation: Doctor

Motivation: helping others.

S.P.E.C.I.A.L. :

Strength - 5

Perception - 5

Endurance - 5

Charisma - 5

Intelligence - 10

Agility - 5 (+1 small frame)

Luck - 5 (+4 intense training (4))

Skills:

Explosives - 40 (-5 good nature)

Energy Weapons - 40

Repair - 50

Science - 100 (+5 good nature)

Unarmed - 10

Barter - 50

Guns - 40 (-5 good nature)

Lockpick - 50

Medicine - 100 (+5 good nature)

Survival - 100

Sneak - 50

Speech - 100 (+5 good nature)

Melee Weapons - 20 (-5 good nature)

Perks:

COMPANION PERK: Life Giver- when Red Cross is your companion, all team members slowly regenerate lost HP.

1- Medic- Due to knowledge of how to make due with limited medical supplies, extra medical supplies, doctor bags have a 25% chance to be used twice, and healing potions heal 15% more!

2- good nature- +5 to science, medical, and speech, -5 to guns, explosives and melee

3- small frame- +1 agility, -25% limb durability

4- animal friend- due to his experience with animals,, they will not attack him, and will join his side in battle unless its other animals.

5- med detector- 50% more likely to find more healing potions, super healing potions or doctor bags in containers

6- Musician at heart- while listening to music, Red Cross heals 10 times as much, while suffering a -2 to all SPECIAL stats.

6- intense training (4)- adds +1 to SPECIAL skill of choice, max rank 10.

7- Overheal- extensive studies allow him to heal 50% over the recipients max HP, except his own.

Inventory-

Doctor Bag x5 restores all limbs

Healing potion x20 restores 90 HP

Super healing Potion x5 restores 180 HP

Likes- helping others, medicine, science

Dislikes- death, killing, fighting, losing friends

Personality: very kind natured and rather shy. However, he will talk when he's spoken to.

History: Red Cross was born and raised in Stalliongrad, though when he reached about 9, his mother, who was a caravan trader, fell Ill with an unknown disease. Determined to help her, red began studying medicine to find out what it was, and cure her before it was too late... Sadly, She passed away from radiation poisoning... Knowing that it was too late for her, on her deathbed, Red's mother made him promise her that he was going to better his medical knowledge and use it to help others. Since she noticed that he had a niche for it, and it seemed to be something he was happy with. About two years later, at age twelve, he was wandering to her grave to pay his respects to her when he noticed a dying dog. He took it and nursed it back to health, and it wouldn't leave his side, and then bandits attacked his home, and the dog managed to kill two of them, scaring the third to flee. Red named his dog Blue Shield, due to his protective nature, and his peculiar ice blue eyes, which his mother had. Ever since then, Red Cross and his dog have been finding travelers, citizens, etc. and nursing them all, and have become rather renowned for their intentions... To Red Cross, faction doesn't matter, if it's a living creature of some kind, he'll nurse it back to health. Republic, Legion, Ranger, wildlife, travelers, anyone.

NOTE--- BLUE SHIELD IS IN FACT, A VERY OLD DOG, AND IS NEARING THE END OF HIS LIFE!!!!!

1.) S.P.E.C.I.A.L. or the Intense Training perk

We allow the perk "Intense Training" to be taken up to three times. In addition, stacking perks count as only one perk all together. You currently have 4 ranks of "Intense Training"

2.) Perks

This applies to many parts of your app, so:

We don't work with Hitpoints and instead apply logic. Don't use any numbers to determinate how much damage you heal.

2.1) Medic

"...and healing potions heal 15% more!"

Change that part to say that healing potions are more potent.

2.2) Animal Friend

Given that all of our chars are animals, change it to "Wildlife Friend". I think that suits better.

2.3) Med Detector

You might want to add stuff like Rad-X, Rad-Away and Med-X to the list. Those are rather common medical supplies (or at least Rad-X and Rad-Away have been for a long time. Now they ship in radiated water for those who need it.)

2.4) Musician at heart

Ten times as much healing? No.

We can change it however to him getting a bonus on Medicine-Skilltests while listening to music, without S.P.E.C.I.A.L. decreases. However, it has to be music, a radio for example, and not he himself humming.

2.5) Intense Training

As already said, we allow up to three ranks of this perk. In addition, with "Musician at heart" being number 6 already, Intense Training should be number 7 and so on.

2.6) Overheal

We are not at Team Fortress 2, you can't be healthier than fully healthy. However, you can say that, given to his superior knowledge in medicine, chems he administers to anyone (Yes, also including griffins, zebras and so on) last longer.

3.) Inventory

As I've already said, remove the points the potions heal.

4) History

Alright, the whole "unknown disease" stuff. Here we go...

4.1) Bandits breaking into his house.

Stalliongrad is a rather safe city. It's heavily fortified and in Steel Ranger control. Multiple big, heavy guns are facing outwards and there are more than a few Steel Rangers in there. Bandits being inside the city is a rather unrealistic concept. You can however make, that Red Cross was outside of the city and was attacked instead.

4.2) The many factions.

You might want to replace it with "Steel Rangers, former Enclave, alicorns, zebras, griffins, travelers and the wildlife.

Hello and congratulate you to your third app.

Every once in a while I might have a lazy day or two, but other than that I have a hard work, including the occasional 12 hour day or 24 hour guard shift duty.

Because I have to review apps in my free time, and because this is already the third app I'd have to review, I decided that I will not review it unless you clearly say that your app is finished.

You know the drill: 35 SPECIAL points and 750 Skill points, 10 Perks and one Party Perk.

I've read through it again, and here are a few things I have noticed:

(I'm on my mobile phone, so I can't format it with colors and typos can occure.)

1) How does a black coat adds 1 to perception?

2) He's currently carrying more than 50 kg worth of 5.56mm ammunition, 52 to be exact. Not counting all the other ammunition types.

3) So the strength requirement of a Sniper rifle is 6, he has 5 and no supporting feats like a battle saddle. I guess he will feel the recoil then?

4) One thing you should know: When you are in a stable, you don't get to leave whenever you feel like it. The doors open and then the inhabitants are either already dead because of some experiments, get killed by Steel Rangers or Enclave who want to aquire the technologies inside, enslaved or manage to settle into a town or make their own settlement right outside the stable. You could make that his stable is either freshly opened or that the inhabitants made a small settlement at it's entrance.

5) He still has no mane or tail.

But overall it's a solid app. I'd be okay with you applying a medic too, but please stick to one idea as soon as you are accepted.

Alrighty then. I'll try to buy the game and play it. Maybe once I've got more experience I'll jump back in!

Alright. Feel free to come again as soon as you've been able to gather a little bit of Fallout knowledge. I also recommend visiting the Fallout Equestria Wiki.

This app is accepted unless Nex has anything to say.

Nope, got nothing to say about it. I'm fine with it.

I'm sorry if I was a bit rude, it was...a bad day

It's okay, everyone has those. The trick is to not shove it at other people.

Well, goodbye to you two then. Also, the raider disease is spread through all of Equestria indeed, Ponyville for example. Ponies all over the wastelands got it, not only because of the biologic weapon experinents, but also because of it's natural spread. It is a natural disease after all, brought from the zebra lands to the ponies.

Awesome! Thanks! I'll get right on it!

Actually AirForceBrony, I have already reviewed your new app. The thing with 36 SPECIAL points is just something I have noticed later on.

When you scroll up a bit, you should be able to see my message where I have quoted your new app and reviewed it.

I wouldn't call this "rip out his heart and eat it in front of him", and being a human myself I can hardly hate him because of that.

However, you have to understand that while we do look for new players, we aren't desperate to take every player that applies. If you don't want to be part of this because of me reviewing a character that isn't possible within the FoE universe, then so shall it be.

AirForceBrony:

I've just noticed that your SPECIAL stats sum is 36, but only 35 is allowed without any perks adding SPECIAL points. You should either change one of your attributes or swap out one of the no-perks with "Intense training" which increases one Special attribute by one. Just call it something else because of him being a cyborg/robot. "Fit for Purpose" or similiar maybe.

I just realized I have no idea how to edit.

This should show where you need to press.

I haven't drawed a red circle around it, but I guess you'll still be able to find it. Mostly because it's a button... with "Edit" on it...

Name: unknown

Alias: X-104

Sex:Male

Age: Adult (actual age unknown)

Species: Earth pony cyborg

​Appearance: Mostly metal, he has very few organic parts such as vital organs and his right eye. His body is made mostly of a tungsten carbide material and he's very durable, though not agile at the least.

Physique: Very tall and muscular

Origin/Residence: Stalliongrad

Occupation: Cybernetic War Experement (outdated)

Motivation: Waiting to be reprogrammed to fight along side whomever may reach him.

S.P.E.C.I.A.L. :

Strength - 10

Perception - 8

Endurance - 10

Charisma - 1

Intelligence - 1

Agility - 1

Luck - 5

Skills:

Explosives - 100

Energy Weapons - 100

Repair - 100

Science - 100 (only physics, to land a well placed shot.

Unarmed - 100

Barter - 0

Guns - 100

Lockpick - 0

Medicine - 0

Survival - 0

Sneak - 0

Speech - 50 (only can understand, and speak very, very basic English. I.E yes or no questions, one word responses, will sometimes speak full sentences... On occasion...)

Melee Weapons - 100

Perks:

1- Tank- can sustain ridiculous amounts of damage at the incredible cost of speed and agility

2- Targeting device- can lock on to his targets for a near perfect hit/miss ratio (up close adds 90% if used, harder to lock on. mid range, adds 85% if used, and far range adds 80% if used, since it appears slower moving, and it's much easier to lock on. However, it does use energy, and can only be used about four times per day, and due to it being an outdated system, it doesn't grant a 100% accuracy, and occasionally malfunctions.

3- Cybernetic arms- can transform his left arm to a tool fitting any combat situation... It doesn't work on wood... (It doesn't have an app for that!) other than that, it's the Swiss Army knife of his entire body. His right arm, however is only useful for strength. He can lift up to 4,000 lbs before running the risk of damaging himself.

4- Cybernetic legs- can set up to an additional three feet of length for more speed, however not much of a difference. His legs are hydraulically actuated, which sends pressurized fluid into the struts of his shins, which allows him to lengthen. They are also used for very heavy kicks.

5- Central Processing Unit- takes place of his brain, and is only programmed for combat. He doesn't speak, or simply put butter on toast.

6- Observant- X-104 is very observant of his surroundings and can spot mostly anything that moved up to 100 yards. Any farther, is normal vision.

7- Combat Ready- on recognition of a threat, X-104 can throw himself in a defensive position and be ready for combat faster than his comrades, however, when ambushed, it may take his processors up to 15 seconds to organize the sudden rush of data and begin pushing away the ambush.

8- fearless- X-104 can easily interpret what danger is, but will not back down unless ordered to do so. He is the stand and fight type and will continue to do so until only one is left standing if necessary. When most run away, he walks toward.

9- no nerve endings- X-104 doesn't feel pain, and when he's under attack, he will not cringe or flinch. However he can be slowed down, if not killed when he's hit in his organic areas.

10- powerhouse- can lay hits so heavy into his foes that his allies will feel it. (So to speak.) however he doesn't hit often in melee combat, due to his incredibly slow speed, when he does hit, it's devastating.

Inventory:

Repair kit- can be used on him to restore health (must know how to use it) and may also be used to repair some other things.

Photon grenade- may be loaded in his cybernetic arm for some explosive fun! It throws little to no shrapnel or fragmentation, but it's very useful for blast damage (25ft radius) and due to its force of over 10Gs, it proves invaluable for clearing paths for egress or slowing down large foes.

x10 Spark Engine- may be loaded in his arm for a high temperature flame thrower, (up to 2,500 degrees.) or used in vehicles as fuel.

IFAK (individual first aid kit)- X-104 cannot use it, but his teammates can instruct him to loan it to them for treating someone. Grants the user +25 medical skill when used.

Likes: breaking things, blowing things up, and killing those he's programmed to.

Dislikes: anything that may confuse him or attack his teammates.

Character Summary: He doesn't know fear,

defeat or pain. He can be considered the ultimate killing tool, he is outrageously stupid and slow, but what he lacks for in that, he makes up for in sheer power and durability.

Personality: Very obedient and fearless.

History: it is unknown where the body that X-104 comes from, however he was manufactured in an old weapons plant in Stalliongrad before his project went out of commission before testing. Now he waits in the deeper darker parts of the world, waiting to be rebooted so he may serve a new master on the field of battle. His intentions are unknown. In order to be of any use, he has to be programmed to do the work and be shown his allies and enemies. Once his allies have been shown, he can easily depict the enemy, however, minimal force is something he isn't familiar with and will make someone Swiss cheese if they simply threaten his allies.(I could do with some help on this... I'm thinking maybe y'all run into him in your travels and accidentally activate him. How does something along those lines sound?)

(In terms of making IFAK a team skill, can you explain what you mean by that? Do you mean leave it as an item or make it a literal skill?

And other than what was described, he doesn't really transform into anything. His arm is his Swiss Army knife to an extent, and then his legs simply allow him to be a little more mobile when needed.)

Now up to you...

I know, till now SunlightHeart was reviewing your app, but I felt the need to say something.

First of all, a simple question. I want you to go deep inside your heart and think about it before you answer me.

Do you really want to join a rp that requires a little bit of knowledge about the world you are in, without having any of that knowledge?

If your answer is yes, please continue reading at the blue mark. If not, continue reading at the red mark.

[colour=#0000ff]Blue mark:[/colour]

No, you don't. If you were a car mechanic, would you tinker with a cars motor without having proper knowledge? Would you cook something without knowing how? Would you do anything at all without at least roughly knowing what you're doing?

It may be true, we don't expect you to have read the FoE fanfic (mostly because I honestly think that it's poorly written and overly hyped), but in order to play in a Fallout universe, you have to know the basics of Fallout. Looking through your app clearly shows me that you don't have that little knowledge which is required. I suggest changing that, ASAP.

[colour=#ff0000]Red mark:[/colour]

Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

You'll probably keep reading anyway, and before you ask what's so wrong with your app, I'll simply write it here.

[colour=#ff0000]RED [/colour]are the things I don't like, Black is what I don't mind and [colour=#0000ff]Blue [/colour]is what I like.

[colour=#ff0000]First of all, please read through your app again. English isn't my first language, which makes your app even worse as I am able to point out a few mistakes in it. Change it. No excuses for you.[/colour]

[colour=#ff0000]So the unnamed cyborg (I'll explain why that is ridiculous later on) is mostly made out of tungsten carbide. I don't know if you do know it, but seeing your account name I guess that you indeed know it... this is ridiculous. Remember that Equestria was a peaceful nation prior to the war. All of the technological advances were made within of a few years. Carbon tungsten (WC from now on, because easier to write and it's the correct name) is the better steel. You can imagine, given how it is created, that Equestria in all of it's war-efforts didn't have the ability to create it, not even talking of mass-producing it. Nowadays it is used in armorpiercing ammunition, because it has twice the density of the steel used on tanks. This means, that it would be a really, really good armor, probably the reason why you wanted to use it.[/colour]

However, having twice the density of steel also means that it is much heavier. Maybe you already know what I'm going at, but let me continue.

The one question many are asking: why don't make tanks and planes of a heavier material? Of something that protects them better? Why not make a tank out of diamonds or even osmium? Besides of osmium being poisinous, there is one reason: weight. As you can think, WC doesn't only have twice the density of steel, it also has twice the weight. To be more precise: steel has a density of about 8 g/cm³, more likely a little bit less. WC on the other hand has a density of 15,63 g/cm³.

Because of a hint in the show, we can assume that a normal pony has roughly the height of 4 feet and a few inches.. Quickly calculating it I counted 4500 cm³. However, I have calculated only using 4' height, leaving the additional inches out of my calculation. Furthermore I'd half that amount to 2250 cm³ because obviously not his entire body can be made of WC. Sadly, multiplying that amount with the weight of WC leads to a weight of 70335 g. That is more than I weight as a human, and it's a small pony who has to carry that weight. Not to mention that a normal pony consists of flesh and bones, which are much lighter, and that most things simply aren't built for a weight like that. Also, he's a very tall one, as you've said in your app, which makes my calculation even less accurate... but more into the not-good-for-you-way.

[colour=#ff0000]So he is a cyborg, which means that he still has organic parts. Alright, I'm fine with that. As you will see (if you get a bit of Fallout knowledge), they used to make robots controlled by human/pony brains. (Yeah, one of the many major rip-offs...) However, as you mentioned in your app, he doesn't have his brain anymore. So I'm asking you... what does he have? Does he have a heart to pump blood through his veins? Does he have his guts to digest food? Both would be nonsense, for obvious reasons. I can't think of any organic parts that should have been kept, so it'd probably be better to make him a robot. It would also get rid of the name thing, because as a cyborg he was a living being once, and as such he had a name, even if he can't remember it.[/colour]

Special-Stats:

[colour=#0000ff]If you want it like that, then go for it. But don't expect me to forget those one-sided placement of points. He'll have serious problems when trying to open a bottle, or even drink from it.[/colour] [colour=#ff0000](If he even has to eat or drink, that's nor mentioned so far. Change that.)[/colour]

Skills:

[colour=#ff0000]Please, for the love of Celestia, Luna, Discord, Faust, Solaris, Nightmare Moon, Screwball, Chrysalis, Asteria, logic, competence, God, Buddha, Leviathan, Thor, Tyr, Odin, Magda and everyone out there and in my head that can hear this prayer...[/colour]

[colour=#ff0000]Turn around, go straight forward till you can't go forward anymore, then turn to the right and go forward again till you can't continue on your yourney. Wherever you may end up, sit down there and learn. Learn about the Fallout system, what the skills mean and so on. What they stand for. Do it, then you may consider coming back.[/colour]

Perks:

[colour=#0000ff]Well, at least you've kept yourself to the 10 perks maximum.[/colour]

[colour=#ff0000]Tank: Change it to something like +5 DT or similiar. A perk as you've described it, it would give you a bonus to endurance and a malus to agility. However, you can't get more than 10 points or less than 1 point in any special stat.[/colour] (Technically it is possible, but having 0 points in anything but charisma or luck means that you are dead.)

[colour=#ff0000]Targeting Device: No. Remove it. We have a dice system. You can have a perk that gives you a bonus, but you will not have a fixed percent change to hit something.[/colour]

[colour=#ff0000]Cybernetic Arms: Right arm: Able to lift 4000 lbs? That's 1800 kg. Remember how much this little cyborg weights himself? What happens to 100 kg if you place 1500 kg on top of it? Especially it only one single arm is holding it? There's either cyborg pancake for dinner, or his whole body simply gets pressed into the ground. Change it, I'm curious to see what you'll make as his new lifting capacity. Left Arm: "can transform his left arm to a tool fitting any combat situation". Going after that, it can be transformed into a balefire egg launcher. Or a balefire bomb katapult. Or a sledgehammer. Or a combat shotgun. Or a switchblade. First of all, please explain why a sledgehammer couldn't work against wood. Then, after you've done so, take a few minutes to think and carefully explain exactly what weapons he can transform his arm into. And then, after you've done so, explain me how a pony with an agility of 1 is able to stand on three legs. Do it.[/colour]

Cybernetic Legs: So... he can just double his size? His hindlegs extend somehow (I don't even want to know how) and suddenly they have double the length? Have I read that right?

Well, if you want that, go with it. Ain't like if he could do anything with them anyway, because apparently his forelegs can't extend and so running is impossible. Walking on two legs is impossible for him too. Only zebras with their high agility can really do so, and a few exceptions like Rampage or Blackjack. [colour=#ff0000]Raise your agility to more than one and this perk is a no too, same goes for making his forelegs able to stretch out too. And roughly explain how long it takes for them to expand themselves as well as to shrink down again.[/colour]

CPU: So he has his whole brain removed. See above, the cyborg part. Furthermore your explanation here doesn't add up with what you wrote up in the skills table. So he doesn't speak at all? Or does he only give yes/no answers?

Observant: I'll treat this as a straight-forward motion sensor with bonus to detection when rolling against someone sneaking. [colour=#ff0000]However, set the range to 50 yards, that's enough.[/colour]

Combat Ready: I think that this interferes with his CPU, which is only programmed for combat. According to this he's always ready to fight and can't be ambushed. Also I think it's unlogic for a CPU to take 15 seconds to realize that there's a combat going on. You might want to change this to something similiar to "light sleep", only in the robot version, which would mean that he is less likely to be surprised by an attack at all.

[colour=#0000ff]Fearless: Fine with me.[/colour] However, I'm counting on you to go with it and not retreat without the order to do so.

[colour=#0000ff]No nerve endings: Is fine with me too.[/colour] However, maybe you'll want to change the part with the organics according to the cyborg thing.

[colour=#0000ff]Powerhouse: Fine with me too.[/colour] I'll treat it as something like "Heavy hitting", means increased unarmed damage.

Inventory:

Photon Grenades: Till now I've known them only from two sci-fi worlds, Star Trek and Warhammer 40k. However, in both cases they are the same thing. I think that what you meant would be a concussion grenade, creating a blastwave (no, it's not able to injure anyone, except when you hold it as it goes off) to disorient the targets. Use them as concussion grenades and you have my blessings.

[colour=#ff0000]x10 Spark Engine: A flamethrower able to melt solid steel? No. If you want to have a flamethrower, then make it a normal flamethrower as they are used all across the wastelands[/colour].

History:

Obviously, as stated so many times before, he is a cyborg (or a soon-to-be robot). As far as I know, such constructs need a power source. [colour=#ff0000]What is his power source?[/colour]

So far, that's all. I'll look over it again as soon as you have edited it properly.

I don't have a Skype, and Nexar I can change a few things about the sheet if need be.

Alright, just write something when you have changed what I asked to be changed.

Back from vacation everyone, sorry about that ^u^;

Welcome back UnitPon13!

I hope you had a nice vacation!

Roleplay type: Crossover/Fallout Equestria

Name: Bone Dance

Alias: Black Baron

Age: 30

Species: Earth Pony

Appearance: Very bulky, he has black and russet coloured fur, and a white mane and tail, his face has a plethora of little scars and cuts on it, he has amethyst coloured eyes and his cutie mark is the biohazard symbol. He typically wears heavy combat armor with a leather jacket lining, the armor has a bunch of little knick knacks pinned to it, cards and other little trophies.

Physique: Muscular, a bit bulky

Origin/Residence: Formerly Las Pegasus, currently Stalliongrad.

Occupation: Ganger turned mercenary.

Motivation: Reputation and caps.

S.P.E.C.I.A.L.:

Strength- 10

Perception- 5

Endurance- 7

Charisma- 4

Intelligence- 4

Agility- 3

Luck- 2

Skills:

Explosives- 100

Energy Weapons- 50

Repair- 100

Science- 30

Unarmed- 100

Barter- 50

Guns- 100

Lockpick- 20

Medicine- 50

Survival- 50

Sneak- 20

Speech- 30

Melee Weapons- 50

Perks (Induvidual):

Lowlife- A life of crime and generally thuggish behavior has led to a better understanding of nere-do-wells, he does 25% more damage to raiders, gangers, and similar individuals, and a 10% better understanding when speaking to them.

Brute rage!- When health drops below 30% gain 15 DR with a bonus 20% to attack.

Heavy armor master- Isnt slowed down while wearing heavy armor.

Rapid Reload- Reloads are 25% faster.

Stonewall- +5 DT against melee and unarmed attacks and can never be knocked down in combat.

Terrifying Presence- Can terrify foes in dialogue.

Spray n' Pray- No matter how much he fires he never seems to hit an ally on accident.

Perks(Group):

Pull yourself together- Through his constant encouragement (and berating) he can keep his companions fighting at optimal efficiency even when below 10% health.

Inventory:

-Heavy custom battle armor

-battle saddle with two LMG attachments

-Gas mask and helmet

-Food Rations

-Incindiery grenades

-Small med kits

Likes: A good fight, scotch, caps, and good friends.

Dislikes: Ponies who threaten him, ponies who think he's dumb, his past, and most authority figures.

Character Summary: Baron is a pony who's always had a rough time, he still acts like he's in a gang sometimes, and doesn't like being bossed around. That being said, he's loyal and hard working, and he's trying to be a better pony than he once was. He prefers heavy weapons and like to hit hard and fast, his enemies usually scatter after the first attack.

Personality: Brave and hardheaded, but also jovial and friendly (most if the time).

History: From a young age Bone Dance had learned that the world is scary, and it's best if you're scary right back, he was in a gang, the Metalheads, for most of his young life. He spent about 10 years fighting other gangs and defending his gangs turf as a lieutenant for the Metalheads, he eventually earned the name Black Baron after once lighting his hooves on fire and beating ten rival gang members to death, leaving their coats black. After years of the gang life, he began to regret the pain he had caused, until one day he walked off into the wasteland to make his own way, he soon took up mercenary work, vowing to never kill anypony who didn't deserve it.

So far, there isn't much to say on my end. However, here is what I have to say.

1) Perks:

I like most of your perks, but there are three things I'd like to point out. It's nothing you have to change if you don't want to.

2) History

Apart from your story being rather short, there are things...

3) Ammunition:

I know that shooting is fun, but I wished to remind you that such a LMG has the ability to blow out a big amount of bullets, especially when used as a pair. Remember that your character also has to carry those bullets and don't go on a full hour shooting rampage.

[colour=#000000]Name: Gale Force[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Sex: Female[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Age: Early 20's[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Species: Pegasus[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Eye Colour: Violet[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Coat colour: Amethyst (just look at the picture)[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Mane/tail: Her mane is rather short on the front, in order to not obscure her vision. The tail is or moderate length. Both are blue and light blue and seemingly have never been brushed.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Physique: Athletic[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Cutiemark: A blue feather[/colour]

[colour=#000000]S.P.E.C.I.A.L. [/colour]

[colour=#000000]- Strength – 4[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- Perception –8[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- Endurance – 4[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- Charisma – 1[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- Intelligence – 7[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- Agility – 10[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- Luck – 6[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Skills[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Barter - 1[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Energy Weapons - 50[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Explosives - 50[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Guns - 100[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Lockpick - 30[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Medicine - 45[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Melee Weapons - 42[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Repair - 100[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Science - 100[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Sneak - 70[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Speech - 10[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Survival - 80[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Unarmed - 30[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Perks[/colour]

[colour=#000000]– Cyborg: Allows character access to cybernetic implants[/colour]

[colour=#000000]– Sniper: She doesn’t waste bullets for flesh wounds. Increased accuracy on aimed headshots.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]– Wired Reflexes: Parts of her nerves have been replaced with wires. Faster reactions as well as optimized controlling abilities of her weapon mounting, increasing accuracy.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]– Bonus Ranged Damage: Practice, experience and a keen eye gives the advantage to not only hit, but to hit where it hurts the most. Weak spots in armor and such. Increased bullet damage.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]– Computer Whiz: A computer system has locked itself because of an intruder alert or a failed hacking attempt? Ignore this and simply continue hacking your way through the code![/colour]

[colour=#000000]– Scout: Enemies or distinctive/important objects and such can be spotted and identified on a longer distance.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]– Explosive Traps: Take a grenade or two, a small piece of boulter and there you have the perfect trap. Also useable to booby-trap dead or wounded ponies.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]– Bracing: The weapon mount really helps holding a big gun like that sniper rifle, as well as bracing against the recoil. Is it needed to say more?[/colour]

[colour=#000000]– Quick Recover: Whatever it was, that send you to the ground: why not use that force to roll over and quickly flip back up again?[/colour]

[colour=#000000]– Loner: Others disturb you with their very presence. While alone it is so much easier to concentrate, aim, hit, do things right...[/colour]

[colour=#000000]– Gun Kata: Foes getting too close for comfort? Show them your moves by wielding your Sniper like a melee weapon in close combat.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Perks (Party)[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- Spotter: Gale can outline enemies and object she sees using her visor. Those informations can be synchronized to other visors and pipbucks as well, making others able to see threats she has already spotted herself.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Inventory[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- “Viper” sniper rifle (.50 cal, semi-automatic, mag-fed, 5 shots per mag, gas-operated, scoped with 3-16 times magnification), 1 Mag FMJ attached[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- belt with 4 magazine pouches [/colour]

[colour=#000000]inside: 2 Magazines FMJ, 1 Magazine Hollow Point, 1 Magazine Armor Piercing[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- small brown saddlebags[/colour]

[colour=#000000]inside: 3 Magazines FMJ, 1 Magazine Incendiary, 2 Fragmentation grenades, 1 Bouncing Betty, 4 meters boulder line, knife, Signal Rocket gun, 2 red signal rockets, 1 green signal rocket, 2 days ration of food and water, various mechanic tools (screwdriver and such)[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Implants:[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- pipbuck-visor (including the normal pipbuck-stuff as well as a infra-red vision and the ability to project the image of the rifle scope right in front of her eye.)[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- weapon/shield mounting (Instead of wearing armor, Gale has a refractor field generator. It automatically detects fast incoming things like bullets, energy rays or a melee attack and blocks it. When too much damage is sustained, it overcharges in a blinding light like a flash grenade and sends out high radiation for a short time before it restarts and recharges itself.)[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- Rad-X injector (placed inside her belly. Upon registering too much radiation it automatically injects a dose of Rad-X. Up to 3 doses of Rad-X can be stored. To store them, Gale Force has to inject those into her belly and into the designated location.)[/colour]

[colour=#000000]- Core-processor (The core processor of an AI is built into Gale Force. Of course there is no more evil AI trying to take control over the mare, but the processor really helps in processing data like the distance to the target and the bullet drop and hacking in general. Although this helps her, this implant also allows her to be hacked herself. When hacked, her whole body is controllable, but things like her mind or her attitude can’t be changed.)[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Character Summary[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Gale Force was born in Stalliongrad and was able to live a pretty good live. Protected by the Steel Rangers there weren’t many bandits or monsters to be afraid of. However this peace didn’t last forever and Gales father committed a crime, killing another pony and taking away his goods. Till today nopony really knows why he did so, but after this he took his wife and child and fled out of the safe city into the wastelands. Shortly after they were captured by a group of bandits. Two days later a group of Steel Rangers discovered the bandit camp and attacked. For Gale Forces father it was already too late, as he was executed by the bandits, and her mother died in the crossfire during the fight. After the bandits were killed, the Steel Rangers took the filly Gale back to Stalliongrad.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]A couple of years later, when Gale Force was old enough, she was taken into service of the Steel Rangers. With those she learned and fought, but at some point she has seen cruelty once too often and finally decided, that it would be better to give up on her sanity. A few months later her body had accustomed to the newly gained implants and since then she is seen as some kind of war machine instead of a pony with feelings and needs. Given that, and maybe her accuracy with her rifle, she was elected to be in a special team with Strawberry Twist.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Personality[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Before Gale decided to give up her sanity, and before more and more bad and cruel things happened to her, she was a hyperactive little tomboyish brat, always up for shenanigans. As time passed she got to be more introverted and quiet than before. But now... Right now she has willingly traded her emotions for a gun and implants. She is plain logic, like a computer, and mostly is simply confused by normal ponies and their way of thinking. Also she doesn’t even try to barter with anyone, why should she? In her opinion, when a merchant wants 10 caps for something, he wants 10 caps for it, and not 9 or 8. And if she hasn’t got 10 caps, then she simply can’t afford to buy it. But Gale Force has become a little bit paranoid. She certainly doesn’t think, that someone is following her, but after being ambushed by a group of Hellhounds with their stealth devices, she likes to always have her infrared vision online, just in case that there is someone or something hiding again...[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Likes: Even though Gale is living a life without emotions, there are still a few things she kinda likes. To be more exact, she likes to be able to concentrate, mostly with tasks like weapon cleaning and maintaining, and hacking into computer systems. Including that, she likes high technology, the higher the better! She likes to examine those and learn from it as much as possible.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Dislikes: For her dislikes you could basically take the opposite of her likes. Not being able to concentrate on something doesn’t really annoy her though, but something that annoys her are primitive computer systems. Sometimes she just likes to have a challenge when hacking her mind into something, but when things are getting too easy, well... not like if she could change anything about that anyway.[/colour]

To many ponys the Everfree Forest was a dark and scary place and the source of haunting nightmares. A place where nopony would willingly go into if they had a choice. This given, the whole forest was just perfect for the young Changeling. Surrounded by all those dark trees and the possibility of a predator somewhere close, he simply knew that there was nopony around that could find out about his secret, noone he had to hide from. Of course he knew that he wasn't invulnerable to the creatures inhabitant to the forest, but everytime he got to see someone of those, it resulted in avoiding each other, and during the past two weeks that Nexar was already in Ponyville and therefore almost every evening inside the Everfree Forest, he grew the feeling, that the creatures could somehow sense, that he wasn't the unicorn he was disguised as.

After a few minutes of trotting into the forest, Nexar went off the road and between the trees. His horn started to glow bright green, emitting a small radius of green light as it quickly became darker when the sun set and the moon was rising. The Changeling wasn't really afraid because of this and continued his search. In a small saddlebag on his back he still had the book where a certain potion and all the needed ingredients were described. All he needed right now was a small bundle of a plant called Silverleaf, and then... Nexar could feel his desire for love inside his chest rising at the thought of the potion he would be making. A love potion... something that was able to ignite the feeling of love in somepony. Of course it was just a theory, but the thought of being able to drink such a potion instead of steeling someones energy made his body shiver in excitement. To never again feel hungry again...

Nexars thoughts drifted for a moment, but a movement at the edge of his sight brought him back to this world immediately. In exception of an attack, he raised a shield surrounding the side from which he had seen the movement, the same shield he normally used to protect himself from a crash to the ground, but nothing happened. There was no surprise attack, no threat that wanted to hurt him, and so he lowered his shield again, and just as he expected, as far as he could see around him, there was nothing except for the plants of course. The Changeling sighed out in relief and turned around to walk into a different direction and search somewhere else for that Silverleaf that he needed. But instead he found something else, a clearing in the forest with a house in it. Nexar tilted his head a bit to the left, surprised to see something like that in such a place. But it quickly got his curiosity, and so he walked right to the house and to the door where he gave his disguise a quick check if everything still seemed alright, before made his horn stop glowing and raised one hoof to knock at the door. Nexar was sure, that he could still search for that plant later on, as it wouldn't run away from him, but that house right now just had caught his curiosity.

I edited most of what you said, but let me have some final words here:

The thing about the name: Maybe there was a little misunderstanding, but she was never truly offended by something like "Good morning Morning", but only annoyed. Also her former classmates might have thought of it as something funny, like a funny coincidence, and said so without wanting to harm her or anything like that.

For joining the Army... I don't know how you see it, but I think the Equestrian army is much like the Austrian army, where I am in. Both countries have no real enemy they have to fight against, and exist more because of tradition than of actual need. Most of the time there is only training to be done. (at least from what I know of Equestria)

I don't know if I would have joined the Army if I was in America, as there were real wars going on, but I dare to say, that you don't need too much to join the army. First hands I can say, that all you need is the will to do so (and of course you need to pass the entry exam, but that's another story)

About the Snake Phobia (or if you want to call it that way also Ophidiophobia) and the first time seeing a snake for Morning Haze: She grew up in Cloudsdale, and as Pictures of snakes are no problem for her, simple education in school shouldn't trigger any reaction in her. The time when she saw the snake, it was her first time close to the ground (as written) and I didn't think that there would be snakes on clouds. Also I don't see any contradiction with this.

The last part about her fault... I understand what you mean and I changed it. According to this I also changed the end of her history to fit with this. Hopefully it is ok now

Last but not least: Thank you again for that big review! I didn't take any of this personally and I appreciate how much work you have put into reviewing my Morning Haze.

~Nexy

Hello and thank you for this big review!

I don't know why, but I didn't get a notification for the previous answers here, but somehow I did fet one for your post now.

I'm sorry that you had to wait, I will work on this app right away! But don't expect an edited version till sunday because I'm currently on a 24 hour shift in my barracks.

But thank you for your review!

With the help of Asteria, the disguised Changeling really thought of his apperance to be rather frightening. It was a shame, that he knew that he could never really be in-character, as he just didn't want to be evil at all. But his thoughts were driven back from that, as the mare talked. Of course he didn't believe, that there was a monster who was going to devour him, but the plain thought of the slightest possibility for that to happen gave him a chill. When she ended, Nexar was just about to remind her to not call him sir, as she changed her apperance. He gulped as his red eyes took a closer look on the mare. Of course it shouldn't be something special for him to see a changeling, but after time he accostumed to see normal ponies. But after another moment and a quick headshaking, Nexar focused again and smiled a bit. [colour=teal]"For not being one, you really are able to get it quite close to the original!"[/colour] And even thought Nexar didn't knew, how the other ponies here would react, with her being a changeling surely noone would think that he could possibly be a real one, and with that in thought, he feeled safe.

Out of his small house, Nexar let his eyes look around the whole place. All the ponies were dressed up, some frightening costumes, others in really funny ones. But despite of what he feared to happen, noone really took notice of them. To the whole village, they were just two other ponies in costumes for this event. The real changeling sighed in relief, and almost he lowered his wings, but he quickly reminded himself on what he was and that he shouldn't move his wings at all. After all, he normally disguised himself as a unicorn, and not a pegasus. And moving wings on a costume would be quite hard to explain to anyone, if he ever should get asked. And even thought this was very unlikely to happen, he didn't want to risk anything to get banned from Equestria.

Asterias idea, to go where most of the others would be, sounded like a good plan and so Nexar agreed. Shortly after they were in the town center, filled with all kind of little games as well as dressed monsters, young and old. [colour=teal]"I don't have any requests Asteria... It's my first Nightmare Night after all! I don't even know what to expect!"[/colour] He sounded happy, not only because it was night and he loved the night. For the maybe first time since he moved here, he didn't feel like a monster who had to hide himself from anypony at all. And so he wanted to live this night, hoping that it would never end and try out all those special things avaible for this night. And as he looked around to see such a speciality, his bright red eyes catched a stand for candied apples, as well as a stallion with a really cool looking mane. Probably it was some kind of magic, that made it look like this, which made it even cooler. [colour=teal]"Let's take a look at that stand and the ponies there!"[/colour] Nexar said before he walked into the direction he had pointed with his hoof. Up there he immediatly took a closer look at the masked pegasus. Sadly he didn't knew what exactly he performed, but it nevertheless looked pretty cool. [colour=teal]"Hello! You've got a really nice costume!"[/colour] With those words said, Nexar didn't knew anymore what he should say to come up with a conversation, and so he turned his head to Asteria, trying to find help from her.

Name: Nexar

Age group: Old teen

Gender: Male

Race: Changeling (Vampire)

Apperance:

His usual shapechanged form

His real form

Cutie mark: As a Changeling, he has no normally gained Cutie mark. However, he can apply one to himself using his Shapechange abilities, but he is hesitating to do so. However, sometimes he likes to apply a single arrow to his shapechanged flank, in order to seem more mature.

Talent: Unlike a normal Pony, he hasn't got a special talent describing him. But his most remarkable talent comes with him being a Changeling. As such he might have a hard time to use any of the normal unicorn magic schools, but has his very own kind of magic. Besides standard Telekinesis, with which he is able to lift things up to his own weight, his most powerful magic is Shapechanging. It allows him to take the form of any other pony and even create clothing on himself and emulate the voice of others perfectly. However, magical created clothing disappears as soon as he takes it off or changes into something else, and even thought he could easily change into a Pegasus, he needs to know how feathered wings work in order to use them. This also means, that if he was to shapechange into a Diamond Dog, he would have to know how to walk on two legs in order to walk. Up until now he has learned how to use feathered wings, but the best flying performance still comes with his multiple insect wings, which he had from birth on. Also, whatever he changes into, has to be of roughly the same size as himself. So he couldn't change into a Dragon, as tall as a house, but could change into one of pony size. This Shapechange is no illusion, but real body changing, and normally can't be magically detected, unless specifically searched for.

His second magic skill is an energy ray, shooting out of his horn, or when shapechanged into something without horn his forehead. It deals damage on impact, mostly only blowing the target back of off their feet, when targeted at something of his own size. Bigger targets might feel the Energy Ray like a strong blow. No matter the target, it's not very harmful and does not damage internal organs, unless of course used very often. It's more of an exhausting attack, causing Enemies to stop fighting or to flee.

After that Nexar is able to create magical shields. Those shields are, as all of his magic, bright green and blocks vision. It's created aroud himself, and not directly on his skin, but holds out a couple of blows before shattering. For example it can be used to protect his body while charging down from the sky, using the shield to prevent damage to the user and turning himself into a giant missle, able to blast craters into a stone floor or break through stone walls. This magic shield can be applied to someone else too, but with far less effectivity, holding off only one or two blows. A more creative way to use it, is to shield an opponent, taking his sight with the shield. However, the shield can only be casted on one target at the same time.

A nice and useful ability, is a magical rope, with which Nexar can grapple his enemies. It is just as strong, as a normal rope, and can be cut. Also the rope is only up to 5 meters long, making it too short to climb up a castle wall, but still enough to grapple a single Pony.

His final ability is only a weak one. Nexar is able to cast a healing spell, able to heal smaller scratches or stop a bleeding by healing the veins. This is never enough to get into the fight again, but it helps to survive till a proper healer can be found.

Seemingly, Nexar is immune to Blood Magic. As an insectous race Changelings have no real bloood, and even if he shapechanges into something else, his blood is only a fake one. But till now he doesn't know of this ability. Also he isn't attached to the fade, unlike most magic users.

Away from the magic, in his time as a squire he learned to use a sword as well as his crossbow. Also he learned how to maintain a full set of armor and weapons, so he is a helpful addition to a team. But till now he is neither a good sword fighter, nor a good shooter. He can defend himseld in close combat and hit enemies from up to 10 meters away with accuracy, but he is nothing special. More of a speciality is, that he can sneak really good. He had to learn to do so, in order to sneak up on sleeping ponies and to feed from them. However, he has not learned things like Lockpicking.

Class: Althoght Nexar is able to cast magic, he is limited to those four spells as well as Telekinesis, he isn't able to learn other magic the normal unicorn can learn. So he is limited to non-magical stuff, and as he has chosen to go with a crossbow, he can be considered to be a rogue.

Specialisation: Till now Nexar hasn't got a specialisation yet, but as it seems, he will develope into the role of a Shadow.

Fighting Style: Nexar usually prefers to fight hidden combats, not the open field battles. As such he likes to stay behind, shooting enemies from further away, or to flank enemy Archers and replace them in their position. This can be used in combination with him being a Changeling, but he tries to hide his real nature.

History: It all started with Nexars mother, who was a Changeling just like him. But her husband was no Changeling, and he never knew that he was married with one. After time Nexars mother became pregnant, and shortly before she gave birth to him, she ran away from Canterlot and into the wild, where she lived with her newborn child and teached him everything he needed to know, such as his Shapechange ability. Changelings have no society at all, as all of them live alone, hidden between all the other ponies, making the best out of their live. Apparently, only the females are able to give birth to new Changelings, no matter if the father is a Changeling as well or a pony, but every child a male Changeling gets, will always be a regular pony. But it happens very rarely, that a male Changeling becomes a father, because they are pretty much infertile with everything except other Changelings.

As soon as he was old enough to live on his own, Nexar moved to the next city east, Ponyville, and went into service as a squire. During this time he learned very much, but as the third Blight came up, Nexar said goodbye to the knight he has been serving for half of his life and planned to go on alone, finding adventures.

Starting Location: Ponyville

Originaly I wanted little to no fighting at all, and just have the passive "while we are in camp not fighting stuff, this is how it is".

To be honest, I dare to say, that noone here can read your mind, and I haven't read you saying that anywhere. Also, wasn't it you who basically teleported yourself to Pinprick and Shadow on their little "sidequest" to save Nexar? Wasn't it you who teleported himself into the bandit camp where those two were? Wasn't it you who made us all go to Stalliongrade and gave the kill order on Shadow? Wasn't it you who teleported in front of the pub and later to the chantry to finally kill everyone there? So much for that

I was okay with a couple of bandits, but random angry mage rebelling against Chantry, then everyone getting mad at me because I want no part of it?

Again, you never said anything against it, simply ignored it till it was too late already.

Fine. Leave. I don't care.

Just as I've thought...

It's not a matter of me being "overcontrolling", it's a matter of you completly veering off the intended path of the RP, and getting upset because nobody wants to respond to it.

Oh yes, sadly it is. Otherwise none of us would have quit. And maybe you have noticed, but every single one of us has played along, made pretty nice posts with things actually happen inside of these. Truly... the only one not seeming to not wanting to fit in, was you, Midnight.

It won't. Thank god.

Actually... I don't think, that you have to refer to yourself as "god"

Awkward mexican standoff?

I'm sorry, but the only awkward thing about this all, is you Midnight.

To be completely honest, this doesn't seem like a "let's get this over with, I have a story in my mind I finally want to attempt to." This seems more like a "Things are not going the way I want them to be, and because I am the OP (original poster), I am allowed to be OP (overpowered) and do whatever I like to do to get my urgent need of controlling everything."

So, yeah... You've just made the Chantry be totally mad at the Grey Wardens, fully ignored the fact, that those were Templars, and not bandits, and therefore are able (and specialised) to dispell magic and such. And, oh yes... I've got the feeling, that you've finally ruined the whole rpg.

I have to fully agree with Spaced, you did many things wrong, on so many levels (OOC as well as IC), and I'm not fine with you wanting everything happening only your way. Also I'm not willed to play in a rpg with someone like you as a Gamemaster, because: you've effectively ignored your players and their opinions, ingame as well as outgame, and your responce to Spaced quit the rpg only shows, how much you care for that. Every normal Gamemaster tries to have fun, as well as let his players have fun. I've Gamemastered/Dungeonmastered for 4 years now in total, and during this time I have learned, that being a Gamemaster is never a free ticket to have an overpowered char. If you want to celebrate yourself by playing an overpowered char without faults or weakness, then you might be better of with a single player game.

I already know, how your response will be looking like, but hereby I say, that I quit too. The Dragon Age universe is a nice and potential universe to play in, but you managed to ruin this experience for me. So here I say: ciao, bye bye, whatever, have a nice day, and have fun in fulfilling your control needs. But not with me in the same topic, never ever again.

Neither did I wanted Nexar to be a warden. I only wanted him to help them, not join them and become a warden. Just btw...

Also Midnight: it's nice that you have such a plan for all this. Just maybe explain it in the post (not as spoken text of course) or in OOC BEFORE you try to get your plan going...