FluttershyGrimshy

"[colour=#008080]Alright, here goes[/colour]," Blizzy said, getting ready to attack the large object. She was about to strike it when a wild Broken appeared! "[colour=#008080]Oh, heya, Broken[/colour]," Blizzy said grinning at him. "[colour=#008080]We might need your help trying to get this thing open. Let me see if I can crack it open first[/colour]," she said, stretching her legs. "[colour=#008080]Alright, let's see if this works[/colour]." Blizzard reared back onto her hind legs, kicking her front legs in the air a bit before bringing them down hard on the object. [colour=#000000]She felt a sudden sharp pain in one of her front legs, but ignored it. [/colour]

((BOOYAH! Figured out the things to italicize and bold and such from my phone XD))

Alrightie!

EDIT:

-took out Haze as Blizzy's father

-replaced "Haze" with father or dad (throughout the app)

Aaaand done!

Oh, and I do have a small question. If I use Haze in this app as Blizzy's father, would I still be able to create an app for him later on if I wanted to, but have him be around the same age as Blizzy? I was really only using Haze as a place holder because I couldn't come up with a name for Blizzy's father ^^"

"[colour=#008080]Whatcha got there, Flashy[/colour]?" Blizzy asked, getting out of the water and shaking the water out of her coat. "[colour=#008080]Whoa! What is that thing[/colour]?!" She'd never seen anything like it before! "[colour=#008080]Do you want some help opening whatever that thing is[/colour]?" she asked, kicking her back hooves in the air. "[colour=#008080]I betcha I could crack it open[/colour]!"

Blizzy quickly dropped off her things at the cabin and headed to the beach. [colour=#008080]This should be fun, [/colour][colour=#000000]she thought to herself, grinning and took off high into the sky. "[/colour][colour=#008080]CANNONBALL[/colour][colour=#000000]!" she yelled. A split second after, she pulled in her wings tightly and went into a spiraling free-fall right into the ocean, causing salty water to spray in all directions.[/colour]

((Oh my... I am SOOO sorry everypony. I apologize for not keeping up with this. I.. just... ugh >.< Sorry.))

Now that Slender had given him some new abilities, Soul grinned to himself, thinking it couldn't hurt to try them out. "Why not take this to the town," he mumbled to himself, his grin growing wider. Using his new ability to blend in with the townspeople, Soul took on a second form, one that looked relatively normal. "Perfect. Now to see if anypony reacts," he chuckled, entering the town.

Fluttershy, feeling rather frightened, ran into the Everfree, frantically searching around to locate her fuzzy animal friends. "C-come out, my little animal friends!" the nervous Pegasus said, looking in every direction for one of her woodland friends to appear.

[colour=#008080]"So Soul, Alba was telling me about the Nightmare Night party that the club will be holding. It sounds pretty fun! Nightmare Night's my favorite holiday."[/colour]

((Omigosh! I'm so sorry, everypony! My notifications on here don't like me at all, and I've been busy this weekend so I never even thought to check this >.<))

Soul chuckled and grinned at Licorice. "Hay yeah, it's gonna be awesome! It usually is," he said, flashing a grin and a wink at Alba, who was probably to busy with other things to notice anyways, but Soul figured why not just for fun. "Nightmare Night is a fun time," Soul said, his grin softening to a smile. "Alba usually picks out these really awesome costumes that we wear for the whole night, and we decorate the room to look spooky and haunted," he said adding emphasis to the words "spooky" and "haunted." "You should definitely come, Licorice," Soul surprised himself by saying. Usually, he made a point of telling all of his regulars to come, followed by some rehearsed romantic junk that made the ladies lose it. But this time, he felt it important that Licorice be there. Why? He was supposed to be the one that flirted with everypony and didn't just stick to one. But that didn't seem to be the case this time.

Though Blizzy was not normally the type of pony to get super excited about much of anything, she was overflowing with sheer excitement in being able to spend some time at the beach with her new friends. "Flashie, what're you gonna do first? I think I'm gonna test out that water," she said grinning and scraping a hoof against the ground like a bull when it's about to charge. "I hope it's nice and cold!" she said, being one to prefer chilly weather (after all, her name /is/ Blizzard.)

Flashbomb wasn't the only one to catch Pocket's glance towards him. Blizzy noticed too, and it made her feel a bit uneasy. Blizzy had never had a real friend before, let alone a crush on anypony. And now she really liked Flash a lot. But Blizzy got the feeling that Puzzle did as well. Blizz frowned, looking down at the trail she'd made in the dirt with her hoove. This wasn't just about Flashbomb though. Blizzy got the feeling that Puzzle didn't like Blizzy. Was it just her blowing things out of proportion? Oh, probably. But when she wasn't very good at socializing and making friends to begin with, it was hard to tell what was actually being felt and what was her just making things up due to her nerves getting the best of her.

EDIT: (Can I take a moment to express how I oh so dislike editing from my phone? XD)

-removed the majority of the details about the divorce

-added details to the History section that focus it more on Blizzy as it should be

If there's anything else that needs tweaking or major fixing, lemme know ^^ I'm determined to get this one right

Blizzy felt the bus lurch to a stop. She excitedly took her HoofBeats off and looked past Flashbomb out the window. The scenery, or what she could see of it, was beautiful! "Flashie! Flaaaaash! We're here!" Blizzy said, barely able to contain her excitement as she gently shook Flash's shoulder.

Mhm! And hopefully she'll be approved soon ^^

Blizzy sighed, growing somewhat bored with the Truth or Dare game. She pulled out her mp3 and her Hoof-Beats and put them on. She scrolled through the music on her mp3 until she found the song she'd been wanting to hear for a while now. The song was Say you Like Me by We the Alicorns. It'd been on her mind for a while now, and she felt there was no better time to listen to it. She sat there, softly humming the song and lightly air drumming.

((Late reply is uber late XDD My apologies))

I love your username! It's adorable ^^

Welcome to Canterlot! If you're ever looking to make friends or just talk to somepony, don't be afraid to drop by and say hi

Epic awesomeness! I'm eagerly awaiting their response ^^ And thank you again so much, Stormy! I couldn't have figured out how to fix her cutie mark story without your help

(([colour=#ff0000]Z[/colour][colour=#FFA500]O[/colour][colour=#ffff00]M[/colour][colour=#008000]G[/colour][colour=#0000ff]![/colour][colour=#4b0082]![/colour][colour=#ee82ee]! [/colour][colour=#000000]That's awesome, Stormy!! I love the look on Knight's face XD [/colour][colour=#ff0066]And I wuv da wittle heart between [/colour][colour=#008080]Bwizzy[/colour][colour=#ff0066] and [/colour][colour=#0000cd]Fwashie[/colour][colour=#000000] <3 Sorry XDD I'm insanely hyper at the moment, and I don't think I'm going to calm down anytime soon.))[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Blizzy heard Broken ask to wake him up when it was his turn to play T-or-D. Blizzy nodded and smiled. "[/colour][colour=#008080]Sure thing[/colour][colour=#000000]." She looked at Flashbomb, who had put his headphones back on and was gazing out the window. The image of them kissing flashed through her head, and she blushed all over again, looking the other way. It was just a dare, right? It hadn't been that long at all since Blizzy had realized she had a crush on him, so it wasn't that big of a deal... right? Ugh, she couldn't think with all of this loud excitement going on. She shook it off, deciding to focus on the ongoing game of truth or dare. [/colour]

Super Nintendo for the win!!! I love my SN ^^ Super Mario World and Legend of Zelda: A link to the past are the games I most often play on it.

Also, can I just say I love the title you used XD It made me giggle.

Oh! Welcome to Canterlot! If you're ever looking for a friend or somepony to talk to, you should totally drop by and say hi

Alright, I think that should be it!

Edit:

-Fixed the cutie mark story (Thanks again for the ideas, Stormy!)

-Added two more ponified band names ^^

-Made a few minor adjustments throughout the app so that anything having to do with her cutie mark now fits her new cutie mark story

Actually, that does help a LOT! Thanks so much for the ideas! Hopefully I can edit this just fine from my phone

[colour=#ff0000]Where IS she?! First block has started already!! Maybe I should go try and find her..[/colour] A frantic Wishbone started to reach for the music room's handle, only to pull his hoof back. [colour=#ff0000]No.. What if they don't like colts coming in?[/colour] Wish's ear perked up, hearing the unmistakeable hoofsteps of non-other than his first-block teacher, Mr. Fritter, coming down the hall. [colour=#ff0000]"Eep!!"[/colour] [colour=#ff0000]Gotta hide, gotta hide..[/colour] He reached for the handle at lightning speed, entering and closing the door behind himself so fast that his tail barely made it in. [colour=#ff0000]Wow!! Kinda crazy to think that this was once a music room..[/colour]

A new-to-her host, Shadow, had introduced himself to the three, giving each a polite kiss on the hoof. [colour=#008080]Everypony sure is pretty friendly around here...[/colour] It looked pretty routine for him, getting up from reading his book for introductions and after simply returning to it. He might be fun to get to know later, but for now, Licorice wanted to spend some more time with Soul. [colour=#008080]"So, Soul-" [/colour][colour=#ff0000]"Licorice!! There you are!!"[/colour] She was interrupted by a small, grey pony who trotted her way.[colour=#008080] "Bonezy!!"[/colour][colour=#ff0000] "Yeah, hi!! Did you not hear the bell ring? It's first period like, right now." [/colour][colour=#008080]"There's somepony I would like you to meet.." [/colour]Licorice started, completely ignoring her friends concern. [colour=#008080]"Wishbone, this is RedSoul Eclipse. Soul, this is my friend Wish. He's just a little nervous because he's never been in here before."[/colour] Wishbone blushed a bit. [colour=#ff0000]Well you didn't hafta tell him that..[/colour]

Soul watched as Licorice's friend made an appearance. He could already tell that Wishbone seemed rather nervous about being in there. It made sense though. As Licorice introduced the two colts, Soul bowed respectfully. He chuckled when he saw Wishbone blush a little bit after Licorice explained that he was in fact a little nervous.

"[colour=#cc0000]It's aight[/colour]," he said, flipping a section of his mane out of his eyes. "[colour=#cc0000]Don't worry, Wishbone. We had another colt come in here earlier, so you're not the first by any means.[/colour]" Of course, Timid wasn't the straightest colt on the block, but none of that really mattered to any of the hosts. "[colour=#cc0000]You'd actually be surprised at how often colts come in here[/colour]," he said with a small laugh.

Blizzy jumped up, flapping her wings and managing to hit her head on the ceiling of the bus. "[colour=#008080]Okay, ow[/colour]," she said cringing and rubbing her head with her hoof. She sucked in a breath and looked at Flash, still cringing a little from the pain her head was now feeling. "[colour=#008080]S'alright, Flashie. Accidents happen[/colour]," she said with a chuckle.

Welcome to Canterlot! If you're looking for a friend or someone to talk to, don't be a stranger

Fluttershy's the bomb!!! And that's awesome that you like singing! Music is a huge part of my life Singing, violin, guitar, you name it!

*Claps* Grimshy, this character is amazing!! You used plenty of rich detail, really giving us a feel for you character. She sounds adventurous, and like a ton of fun!! And who doesn't love a good tomboy?

Okay, so there are a few things that will need changed before I can send her up for senior staff to look over and approve.

I apologize in advance because this but this first edit will be kind of a biggie. The cutiemark story really isn't going to work how it is now. As they show us in Sonic Rainboom, each snowflake has to be hoofmade. Even though I really like the story, accidentally creating a blizzard just isn't a possibility. The mark itself looks awesome though!! You did a great job creating it :3

http://youtu.be/Wmj6...?t=9m56s[/media]

This video goes on until the end of the episode, but if you watch just the first part, they gave us a peek into part of the weather factory that snowflakes are made.

Also, even though the divorce was a big event in Blizzy's life, the history section focuses a little too heavily on it. It would be awesome to hear a bit more about Blizzy and a bit less about her parents. Later in the app you say that Blizzy liked to be along as a foal. Maybe to get more about her into the history, you could tell us the story of when she started becoming more social? You don't have to if you don't feel like it, but that's just an idea on how to expand on that a little c:

Okay, so just one last little thing- Cloudsdale's rain factory should be changed to Cloudsdale's weather factory, but it's totally cool to have her mum work in the rain section

Blizzy's character summary is looking awesome!! Reading about her favorite bands made me giggle.

The fog manipulation that her father did raise some question, but thinking about it, I don't see why a pegasus wouldn't be able to manipulate fog just the same as any other weather. I actually think that it's a really cool idea, and it seems extremely fitting for Haze to be from Las Pegasus!! It just really sounds like the kind of show that they would have there

I know that it may seem like kind of a lot, but besides those it's looking fantabulous as far as I can see

Asdfghjkl >.< I totally forgot about the snowflake thing! Alright, I'll go back and redo the cutie mark story. That might take some time though because now I have no idea what to do about her cutie mark story XD And I'll edit the history section to talk a bit more about Blizzy ^^" (And I'm glad you liked the band part )

Since I have school in a few hours, I won't have time to edit this right away.I'll try to edit it throughout to day, but most of it will have to wait until I get home, so bare with me XD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, hopefully that fixes things. If there's still a problem with her cutie mark story, can you maybe give me some suggestions as to what I could do with it so I don't have to change her cutie mark or the part about her flying off? ^^" That would help me out a lot. (If there is still a prob with the cutie mark section, I think I might actually have something that could work, but suggestions would still be much appreciated )

Edit:

-Changed Rain Factory to Weather Factory

-Expanded the History section and added a picture

-(Hopefully) Fixed her cutie mark story!

(Thanks, Slendy/Neo! XD That's awesome! This should make things very interesting >)

Fluttershy nodded at Time and left his office. "[colour=#ff6699]Oh, I hope nopony else has been taken by... by that horrible faceless thing[/colour][colour=#000000]," she said to herself with a shudder. "[/colour][colour=#ff6699]I should probably go check with my little friends in the Everfree and ask them if they've seen anything else strange and s-scary[/colour][colour=#000000]," she said, stumbling over the last word.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Soul howled with laughter as the boss frightened that pesky little mare and her odd green friend. "[/colour][colour=#cc0000]You really scared the hay out of them![/colour][colour=#000000]"[/colour]

Soul couldn't help but grin his trademark grin when Licorice greeted him. She really did seem to be different from all of the other mares he talked to. Soul opened his mouth, about to say something when another Host walked over. Shadow greeted the mares and then- are you kidding me?- kissed their hooves? It took a great deal of self control to keep from scowling or saying anything to Shadow when he kissed Licorice's hoof. He simply shrugged it off and approached the pony with the glasses. "[colour=#ff0000]Shadow, my man, what's going on[/colour][colour=#000000]?" Soul asked Shadow, holding his hoof out for a bro-hoof like he had for Scribbles.[/colour]