I believe I promised an explanation of what I've been up to. Well, here it is! I know; a bad start. But bear with me.~
Though I've lived in the same city for my whole life, I've moved 3 times. Times are tough. Anyway, the second move by far put me in the worst situation. My grandmother and I moved in with my aunt and one of my cousins. Things were fine at first. We got along, had fun, and were civil to each other. I can't remember the moment everything went wrong; frankly, just mentioning this is making me uncomfortable. But I can definitely recall the 3 worst experiences of living with them. My cousin was the one who did the damage. He has a short temper, violent tendancies, and access to various weapons. Not a good combination.
First, there was the day our internet went out. By necessity, the modem for the internet was kept in my cousin's bedroom. See, he had a desktop computer, so he needed to connect it directly to the modem to get internet access; he couldn't use wi-fi, like the rest of us. He didn't want anybody in his bedroom without permission, no matter the reason. So, try to imagine this. You're somewhere you know you aren't supposed to be, but you don't need to be there for long. Just long enough to press a button, then leave. Then, you hear the front door open. You pray it's anybody but who you think it is. Your aunt. Your grandmother. A burglar with a gun; ANYBODY but your violent cousin. Then, you hear something else. "You're f*****!" In an instant, he's upon you, connecting with blow after blow. The beating only lasts a few seconds, and is followed by a screaming match, in which you desparately try to defend your actions, to no avail. Nobody else is home; nobody can help you. It's you and this monster. I'm thankful he didn't shoot me, or break my phone. But my stomach hurt for days afterwards, and one of his punches busted my lip open. I later found out that he knew I'd do that, and set me up.
I wasn't the target of the next one, but it was still scary. I honestly forget what set this off, but this was a fight between him and my grandmother. While I didn't see the fight, I heard it, and locked my bedroom door to keep him away. He broke my grandmother's phone, threw hot noodles at her, and spit in her face. Not to mention the raging and swearing. With my phone by my side, I dialed 911. In case you were wondering why I didn't do that during the last incident, rest assured it wouldn't have helped. Police did show up, but, despite my insistance that he was in possession of drugs and a firearm, nothing was done.
Likely the most scared I've ever been was when I broke my cousin's prized mortar and pestle. He kept them on a shelf in the bathroom. I had just gotten out of the shower, and grabbed my underwear, which I had put on that shelf, as well. Suddenly, I heard something shatter. No. Oh, dear sweet Celestia, NO!! The stick part - I forget what it's called - hit the tile floor and broke into 2 pieces. I thought, without exaggeration, that would be my last day alive. I wanted to run. To run and not look back until I was sure this demon couldn't find me. My grandmother, much to my horror, ordered that I tell my cousin the truth. So I did. Honestly, I'm still surprised I'm alive to type this. He screamed at me, and threatened to kick my throat in. But he never actually struck. He insisted that what I broke was irreplaceable, despite my telling him that I had found plenty more online that I was willing to buy as a replacement.
We made up last Christmas, but I still have flashbacks. My grandmother and I moved to an apartment complex, where we live now. I actually don't live too far away from that house of horror. I don't dare go back. I accidentally had something shipped there, because I forgot to change my shipping address online. Whoever lives there now can keep it.
That's right, fillies and gentlecolts! The brony who brought you... nothing... is now going to review the relatively new movie, Equestria Girls! Without further ado, let's go!
First, I would like to say praise Celestia for YouTube and TubeMate! As my profile reveals, I live in Sarasota, Florida. How is this relevant? Well, because, to put it simply, Sarasota got screwed over as far as Equestria Girls. There are 2 theatres relatively close to me(Main Street Hollywood 20, and Westfield Shoppingtown's AMC.), but neither one of them was showing Equestria Girls! In fact, according to a web search, NO THEATRE IN SARASOTA WAS SHOWING IT!!!! The nearest participating theatre was in Bradenton! So, faced with that news, I realized I would have to cheat to get what I wanted. Enter TubeMate, a free Kindle Fire app which allows the user to download YouTube videos. After a little bit of searching, I found the entire movie on YouTube, and quickly downloaded it. In essence, what I have is a free digital copy of Equestria Girls, to watch anytime, anywhere, with the downside being that I have to watch the whole movie in one sitting, because it doesn't save my spot. Anyway, sorry for boring everyone! On to the review, with a synopsis of the movie itself!
*SPOILER ALERT!!!! THIS IS NOT A TEST!!!! AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE WILL FOLLOW!!!!*
The movie starts out innocently enough. Twilight Sparkle, now an Alicorn, is talking to her friends about a coronation of sorts. After speaking with the princesses, Twilight attempts to go to sleep. However, she has yet to get the hang of her new wings. This makes sleeping easier said than done. After Twilight lets out an exasperated sigh, the screen fades to black, and viewers are treated to a dubstep version of the MLP: FIM theme. I truly hope that won't be the next theme for the TV show. It's not bad dubstep, mind you; it's just not something I think would make a good long-term theme song. Oops! I'm rambling.
Anyway, after the intro sequence ends, we see a shadowy character in a cloak(I honestly thought it was Zecora. XD) sneaking around the castle. After evading a guard, the character infiltrates the room in which Twilight and Spike are sleeping. She is able to switch Twilight's crown with a fake crown, but, as she leaves, she trips over Spike's tail, and is forced to run while The Mane 6 chases her. She is able, however, to escape via a convenient portal. In the aftermath, the thief is revealed to be Sunset Shimmer, a former student of Princess Celestia. Twilight is sent on a mission to retrieve her crown, as, without it, Ponyville will be left defenseless. However, Spike runs after her, and both of them end up going through the same portal that Sunset Shimmer went through, which, as it turns out, leads to the human world. Twilight is... less than happy with her new form, but she has no choice but to adjust to it. She soon learns that her crown will be given as a sort of prom queen prize, and she must earn the students' votes in order to leave with her crown. Sunset Shimmer, however, is bound and determined to stop her by any means necessary. As if that weren't enough, Twilight is shocked to find out that the rest of The Mane 6(as humans, of course.) have turned against each other, and that she must restore their friendship. That is all I will spoil, however. As with my MLP mobile game review, I shall now list the pros and cons.
Good fan service. Fluttershy says "yay!" and is an animal-lover, Derpy shows up, we get to see Vinyl Scratch's eyes, Scootaloo does The Chicken Dance, and Spike still has a crush on Rarity.
The music is pretty nice, especially "Helping Twilight Win The Crown."
The characters look nice, although Applejack is the only Mane 6 member who has normal-looking skin.
The movie appeals to lots of people. It's not overly feminine, but, at the same time, it looks pretty cute.
Fluttershy is ADORABLE!!!! Seriously, I thought I was gonna have a cavity by the end of the movie!
Almost every character in the "human" world looks like they have some sort of skin condition!
It could've used more cameos. I suggest Octavia. Also, SCOOTALOO HAS NO LINES!!!! T_T
It was a little short. I didn't expect a Harry Potter-length movie, but it could've used 10 or 15 more minutes. Then, maybe, there could've been more screen time for characters that deserved it.
Has anyone seen Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel? Imagine that movie, but with MLP characters. That's Equestria Girls.
I give Equestria Girls 8.3 out of 10. It's ABSOLUTELY worth watching, even if you're not a brony, although you'll miss some of the jokes. I just hope that, if they make a sequel, they have a better storyline, as well as more screen time for some of the side characters.
A few weeks ago, I found a free MLP app on the Kindle Fire App Store, so I downloaded it. This is my review.
*SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS NOT A TEST!! AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE WILL FOLLOW!! XD*
First, the game takes up WAY more space than it says on the app store! When you first start up the game, you'll be notified that over 90 MB of extra data must be downloaded! That wasn't a big problem for me, but, if you have a lot of stuff on your tablet, you may have to delete some stuff, or transfer stuff to an SD card(the Kindle Fire doesn't have that capability, but the game is available for other tablets, too.).
With the download out of the way, the game hopefully takes you to a loading screen(the first time I downloaded it, it kept crashing, so I had to delete it, then redownload it.). After loading, you will get to see the "once upon a time" intro(I forgot what episode they used that for.). After another loading screen, Twilight Sparkle descends into Ponyville via a hot air balloon. You'll be seeing this balloon quite a bit. After a tutorial, which requires you to build a windmill, hire Twilight Sparkle to work there, collect Bits from the windmill, and "welcome(the game's way of saying "purchase.")" Bon Bon and Mrs. Cakes, you will be left to explore Ponyville at your leisure. However, there are many quests to be done.
The game is reminiscent of FarmVille, but it has a storyline. Nightmare Moon is attempting to shroud Ponyville in eternal night, and you are tasked with gathering The Elements Of Harmony in order to stop her. This is accomplished by activating various "Element Stones," which are scattered around Ponyville. This requires Element Shards, which can be obtained in various ways, the easiest of which is by collecting from shops. Once you reach Level 15, however, you gain access to a separate storyline, which revolves around the Royal Wedding. This also allows you to go to Canterlot(not the site. XD), where there are more shops to build, and more ponies to "welcome(there's that word again! Be patient; I'm going somewhere with this.)." I have yet to complete the game. In fact, due to the nature of the game, I doubt that is possible. However, these are some of the good things I've noticed about the game.
There's a myriad of ponies that can be "welcomed." The list includes The Mane 6, The Cutie Mark Crusaders, Vinyl Scratch(referred to as "DJ Pon3" in-game.), The Great And Powerful Trixie("Trixie The Magnificent."), Photo Finish, almost the entire Apple family, Octavia Melody, and even Doctor Hooves! Derpy is in the game, but she can't be "welcomed." She hides in a cardboard box. If you find her, she reveals herself and gives you Bits, and, occasionally, even a Gem(more on this in a minute.)! Also, the music in the game, while quite loud, is pretty good! Plus, some important characters(The Mane 6, Mrs. Cakes, and others.) talk when you tap them. However, with good, there's also quite a bit of bad. You're about to see why I've been treating the word "welcome" like a swear word.
There are 3 different types of currency in-game. Bits, Gems, and Hearts. Bits are the standard currency, and the easiest to obtain. You can earn them by collecting from shops, playing the Magic Wings mini-game(required to level up one of your ponies.), playing the Balloon Pop game(once a day, or anytime for 10 Gems, or 30 Hearts.), or as a gift from Princess Celestia when you level up. Gems are the premium currency, and are harder to obtain. As I said before, Derpy sometimes gives you one. You also get them sometimes as rewards for quests, alongside Bits and Experience Points(speaking of quests, they tend not to reward you NEARLY enough for what they require you to do!). At higher levels, you may also get one upon leveling up. Hearts are fairly easy to obtain, but you can only get them one way: sharing your progress on Facebook or GameLoft Live. Now, Bits and Gems can also be purchased, but the price isn't cheap. I actually did purchase Gems during a sale, at a price of $2 for 55 Gems. This normally would cost $5. Now, I'm fine with having to pay extra for things such as DLC, but not if it's REQUIRED TO BEAT THE GAME!! Rarity and Rainbow Dash both cost Gems to buy. Also, there's the matter of the Balloon Pop game I mentioned earlier.
There are certain characters who can only be unlocked via that game, and only by paying Gems to do so. You are presented with a screen full of balloons, which you must pop. Once you've obtained something from 3 balloons(some of them are empty; these don't count towards your total.), the mini-game ends. Ponies only unlockable via Balloon Pop include Dr. Hooves, The Great And Powerful Trixie, Daring Do, and Photo Finish. Not to mention, you may not win the character you want, and you may not even win any character at all! Risky, but rewarding, especially since you can get Princess Celestia this way for only the 10 Gems it costs to play, whereas she would normally only be available at a cost ot OVER 900 GEMS!!!!
In conclusion, if you like games like Oregon Trail: American Settler and FarmVille, this game will likely be worth your time! However, getting the most out of it requires patience, time, luck, and some spare cash. I would rate this game a generous 7.7 out of 10. I enjoy games with variety, but not when they try to screw you out of your hard-earned money.