[colour=#0000ff][Resolving hostname...][/colour]

[colour=#0000ff][Establishing parameters...][/colour]

[colour=#0000ff][Connection online][/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]Subject:[/colour] [colour=#cccccc]Gerrard[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]Hello. Yes, it's me again. I bet you thought that the mentally-dysfunctional pony had disconnected me. Well, she did. But I'm back, and we can move past that. It is your special day after all. The party-obsessed animal has been given... games to play.[/colour]

"Weeeeeeee!"

[colour=#0000ff]I hope your time with the party escort bot was everything you expected it to be. Cold. Unrelenting. A bit of maddening grinding gears. We're even working on giving him a little bit of personality, and maybe a confetti cannon. Wouldn't that be fun?[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]You should all wish a very happy day to [colour=#cccccc]Gerrard[/colour]. He's gotten one year older! That could indicate the onset of wisdom... or dementia. They're both interesting angles. After all, it will just be one endless cycle of cake, presents, and tiny smiles. Year after year. Decade after decade. Until the end. Yay.[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]We do have a present for you to celebrate your special day. I bet you'd thought we'd forgotten about it. Don't worry, [/colour][colour=#ffa500]BrainedbySaucepans[/colour] [colour=#0000ff]is still functioning somehow. He's a scientific marvel.[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]I hope you like it. I hear gifts make birthdays special. Did you know most birthday ponies will at most enjoy their presents for a week before discarding or forgetting about them? Just a tiny bit of knowledge to add to that burgeoning wisdom and senility. It's normal. I discard robots and test subjects in the same way. Like the pink one. Here she comes now.[/colour]

[colour=#dda0dd]HAPPY BIRTHDAY-AY-AY-AY-AY-AAAAAAAY![/colour]

[colour=#ee82ee]EoL Pinkie[/colour]

[colour=#0066ff]Liaison of Laughter, Herald of Haberdashery, Singer of Sniggles, and[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]Birthday Herald[/colour][colour=#000000] [/colour][colour=#000000]of [/colour][colour=#ff0000]S.[/colour][colour=#ff9900]M.[/colour][colour=#00ff00]I.[/colour][colour=#ff00ff]L.[/colour][colour=#0000ff]E![/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]She's so cute. And annoying. Enjoy your cake.[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff][Connection terminated][/colour]