First time since I was born. Anyways, I'll explain the situation without breaking anything personal.

Every morning, at about 9:20 AM, I would randomly be in severe pain, as if I were having a heart attack. I couldn't breathe, and I had several-minute waves of insane pain. Normally, I would just go home after this, but today I was told I was going to the hospital. So I did, with two more waves on the way. Luckily, the hospital wasn't full, so I got triaged quite quickly. Some of the theories for my pain included appendicitis, gall stones, and gastritis. After 6 hours of waiting, getting bloodwork, waiting, getting an ultrasound, waiting, and waiting some more, all without food or water, I finally got my results.

Nothing.

So we've been looking at different factors for everything I may have done to cause me the pain. We came up with a few ideas, and I will begin a new regime that should hopefully stop the pain. However, the results were very good in the fact that I got to eat a big bowl of soup

I guess everything turned out all right. My vestigial organs are intact, my stomach is full, and I'm keeping my laptop off of my waist. Better yet, YAY HEALTHCARE!