Lux

Really anything for me including adventures or just having fun.

[colour=#ff8c00]"Awww... that's really nice to say that. As for going with you to the square dance with you, sure I would. I should warn you that I don't dance often so I may be stepping on you hooves a little."[/colour]

Carrot then heard a pony call out for help, his voice sounding familiar for some reason to her.

[colour=#ff8c00]"Uh oh, somepony sounds like they're in trouble. Do you think we should check it out?"[/colour]

Here's another one for you, this time staring Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash!

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/60745/sisterly-love

Be warned as this one is a little sad. Also, this one was very tricky as I had to write as the entire Mane Six cast plus all the Crusaders. Not an easy feat.

I'm game to place my singing and fiddle playing pony Apple Cinnamon in any threads as she lives in Appleoosa.

Carrot Top waited for what she thought would be the inevitable classic comment of "let's just be friends." This was especially true as she basically blurted out her feelings to the stallion like somepony taking a bucket of water and drenching another.

Much to her surprise, Hayseed explained that what she said was pretty much what he was thinking about her!

[colour=#ff8c00]"R...really? You like me the same way too? Oh wow, I mean... I've never really been told that somepony likes me. Well, ponies have told me they like me as a friend and such, but not like me like me. Er... I sound kind of silly, don't I?"[/colour]

[colour=#ff0000]"Wow, that was quick thinking, [/colour][colour=#ff0000]Professor Krashkop. Thanks for helping me. I don't think I'd be able to pull her down on my own."[/colour]

Misty then thanked everypony for assisting and especially made it a priority to thank Fire Heart.

[colour=#ff0000]"Oh you don't have to thank me. I try to help when I can really. So your magic is that whatever you say happens?" [/colour]

I bought it yesterday from my local Barnes and Noble and read it cover to cover.

I was afraid that it would be watered down like some chapter books are, but thankfully it was not the case. The story was much in line with the show canon and it was a riveting tale indeed.

The part about Cadence's backstory wasn't really the main part of the story but a small one page background to her life. Still it was interesting. We also got to see two villains from the past, one we've seen in the show recently and one from season one.

My only gripe is that the cover on the book shows Twilight as a unicorn while in the book she had already become an Alicorn, but this was a minor problem.

All in all a great tale.

Fire Heart merrily strolled down to the next floor with her friends and Counselor Marie. Her excitement was overflowing at the promise of seeing the magical artifact room.

[colour=#ff0000]"Wow, I can't believe I'm going to see that room. I've heard about it and sometimes things were brought here for classes from the university, but never had I imagined being there. Have you been there often Moondancer?"[/colour]

The red unicorn noticed that her friend had gone silent. She knew Spirit was a quiet pony, but she wondered if everything was ok.

[colour=#ff0000]"So Spirit, are you enjoying yourself here? I hope things aren't boring though. Being here can be be basic sometimes, but i still like learning here." [/colour]

I liked this one actually.

I was kind of slow earlier on but then sped up. I definitely wasn't expecting the second part which I thought was cute since I actually used to watch the Powerpuff Girls a little. Voice acting and animation was great, and so was the story. All in all a very good PMV.

Carrot could see that her friendly gesture of hugging caused the poor stallion to look like he was about to collapse. Granted she did find a fancy towards the farm pony, but the last thing she wanted to do was make him or anypony for that matter feel nervous around her.

[colour=#ff8c00]"Err.. sorry if my hugging made you nervous Hayseed. I don't want to make you feel anxious around me, especially since I like you." [/colour]

Carrot Top immediately closed her mouth as her eyes went wide with surprise. Did she just confess to liking him? She hoped that this didn't make things worse.

[colour=#ff0000]"Yeah, I know I have much to learn still, and I thank you for teaching that to me Professor Magic."[/colour]

Just then the pony named Misty wanted to see something else from the red unicorn. Before Fire could think of something, the pony suddenly started lifting into the air! From what she said, the pony wasn't actually wanting to do the spell, rather it was just happening. Then Fire remembered back at Counselor Marie's office and the strange magic that happened.

[colour=#ff0000]"Hang on Misty," [/colour]Fire said, [colour=#ff0000]"I'll get you down."[/colour]

With a flicker of her horn she focused on the aloft pony, trying to pull her back to the ground. But as much as she focused on her telekinesis, she couldn't.

[colour=#ff0000]"I can't pull her back down by myself. I need help." [/colour]

Hello.

I've been a fan fiction writer for almost a year now. My work varies from the sad to the romantic to funny.

So let me share with you this story called Grow Up, Apple Bloom

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/32366/grow-up-apple-bloom

From the description:

"What if a cutie mark was not just related to a pony finding their talent but also a sign of a pony becoming an adult?

This was the question that Apple Bloom thought about after another failed attempt to get her mark.

But is her attempt to get her mark through magic going to work, and more importantly, what will the consequences of her actions be?"

I'll put up other ones later on.

Yeah, I agree with you all.

In terms of telling a story that adds some depth into the world of Equestria that we know, it fails.

In terms of providing an emotional response, it succeeds.

Of course it would have been better to have both emotional response and plot.

What I give credit to is the fact that it was made. Few artists would not even consider tackling a challenging task of gathering together artists, VAs, writers and animators for a cause. So for better or for worse, they made it and their attempt was noted by me.

Yeah, I agree about the perspective. No one wants to read or see a Mary Sue/ Gary Stu character or about something that is not part of Equestria like new technology and such.

As for putting an OC in the background, I like ones where the mane six are treated as an equal level to the so-called background ponies rather than celebrities, because that's how I would think ponies like Twilight and Fluttershy are treated. I also like when OCs meet the mane six just like any other pony would rather that as a rabid fan colt or filly.

So my idea of adding an OC into a story that works would be this:

"OC pony moves into Ponyville to start a new life. She is homesick and misses her friends back home and wonders how ponies will treat her in this new town. Then one day she meets an excitable pink pony who helps her to make friends and get used to her new home."

No Mary Sue, no rabid fans, and a nice slice of life story.

Computer set up (laptop, cooling pad, docking station, monitor, speakers, scanner, Wacom pad, etc) papers relating to my novel, art, and fan fiction, a cordless phone, pens, and sometimes a book or a soda.

This idea came from a discussion on this board about the fan movie called Snowdrop. This also comes from my experience as a fan fiction writer who has seen some stories that features an OC get negatively criticized just because there's one in there.

So, do you think it is acceptable to have OCs in fan fiction, fan art and fan movies or do you prefer media that only features the ponies we all know from the show?

I know there are different factors involved like whether said OC is a Mary Sue or not, but this is just a general opinion thread.

So I saw Snowdrop a week ago, and I have to say I like it. The animation was good and the voice acting ok. Now as for the elephant (or pony) in the room: Snowdrop. Yeah, she's blind and she's has a case of being perpetually sad, things that many see as "Not MLP." Well first of all this is a fan made movie. If we all tried to be like the show 50% or more of out fan art and fan fiction wouldn't exist. We have things where ponies are different from what we see in the show. Some things are dark and sad, some involve ponies in other worlds/ realities. So we can't really compare anything fan made to the show.

Maybe I'm just a fan of stories of people or in this case a pony overcoming disabilities or challenges. Maybe I like sad fiction like Dashie that tugs at your emotions. I just can't say that this character is "just another fan creation of a Mary Sue character" and toss it into the rubbish bin of some things that should belong there.

This begs the question of whether OCs should be in fan films, comics or fiction out of the fear that they may be a Mary Sue. But that's another thread for another time.

But if I were to give this animation a grade, I'd give it a B. It's by no means perfect, but it's not horrible either.

Ok. Just a few things on this app to review.

Firstly, your character sounds very close to being like Fluttershy (love of dragons, shyness, love of animals, etc.) So you need to make your character more unique to separate her from the yellow pegasus pony we all know. Here are a few things that can be done to expand upon.

• How did she become interested in animals? Did she read about them or go to a zoo? This is especially important since she lives in Manehattan where it's not as rural as say Ponyville is.
  
• What does she do besides caring for animals (other hobbies)?
  
• How did her parents react to her finding her talent/ getting her mark?
  
• You should tie getting her mark with her experiences in Manehattan more as well.
  

Next, you need to eliminate the references to Spike. It's too close to what Fluttershy experienced and more importantly we don't allow any references to cast characters in apps. So, your character needs to find another way of how her interest in animals is peaked.

Lastly, you mention she lives in Ponyville in the history but in the Residence area you say she lives in Fillydelphia. We actually are strongly discouraging any new characters from living in Ponyville as there are many other places where ponies can live, work, and have fun.

Hello. Your friendly neighborhood Helpstaffer Lux here.

You have an interesting character. What you need to do before your character can be reviewed is to note whether it's ready. If you still have work to do on this, you'll need to put in the title as (WiP) and if it's ready to be look put (Ready). I look forward to reading about your character.

Carrot Top neighed with delight at seeing a table full of the new books by Louise LaMare. Much to her delight, Hayseed offered her to go first, even though there was no risk in not getting a book.

[colour=#ff8c00]"Awwww.... you're such a gentlepony," [/colour]she said selecting her book.

She then gave the stallion a little hug in gratitude for her. The more that she was with him this day, the more she felt that maybe, just maybe, she could see herself with him more often.

[colour=#ff8c00]"You, know I'm going to have to think of a way to repay you for all your kindness." [/colour]

Fire heart was amazed at such a reaction by the others watching her. It must have been the same feeling her mother experienced dancing on a stage in front of hundreds of ponies. She gave a little bow to the ponies watching her as the fire writing faded away.

[colour=#ff0000]"Thanks all of you. I really worked hard on that one. It's harder to write with fire than it looks. [/colour][colour=#ff0000]And yes Professor Magic, most of my spells are related to my talent of creating and controlling fire. I can also of course move objects aroun as well as a few spells I learned in school, but that's about it." [/colour]

[colour=#cc0033]“Hehe, I take part in Nightmare Night all the time,”[/colour] Dancer replied; [colour=#cc0033]“Although I’m afraid I’m a little bit too old to go around asking for candy these days. Last year, I tried doing that but all the adults looked funny at me. Oh well.....”[/colour]

[colour=#ff0000]That's a shame," [/colour]Fire said down trodden for her friend, [colour=#ff0000]"Well, maybe you can make that day an excuse to buy some candy and eat it without fear! But even if you're older Moon and Ice, you can still have fun, right?" [/colour]

[colour=#000080]”Oh, and that is true, Fire Heart! Nightmare Night is one of the few times that the Moon Palace deep inside the Everfree Forest is safely accessible to ponies. Enchanting a safe path takes a good bit of magic, so that's why it only happens once a year, and is premeditated by the townsponies. I suppose that is one thing no other town will ever have.”[/colour] She paused, her face growing somber. [colour=#000080]”And yes, it was quite spectacular to behold.”[/colour] Old memories, both pleasant and unpleasant, suddenly filled her mind as she thought of her childhood home. [colour=#000080]”But of course, it pales in comparison to the current Canterlot Castle.”[/colour]

The unicorn was happy to hear Princess Luna reminiscing about the castle. Fire was intrigued by it as it was a mystery to most ponies just because it was deep within the dangerous forest and the rumors of it. Yet beyond that the older filly could see that even though the memories seemed happy, she couldn't help but notice the the Princess's eyes were filled with a mixture of happiness and sadness.

[colour=#ff0000]"Err... I'm sorry that I brought something up like that. I didn't know that it had a bad effect on you and I don't want to see you or anypony sad[/colour] [colour=#ff0000]if I can help it."[/colour]

Luckily the topic changed to something else.

[colour=#000080]”It's not really that you have to be sure your friends like or love you. It's just sort of something you know—you feel it, in the way that you act toward each other, the things you do for one another—it's, it's not really something you can explain. But I think that you'll know.”[/colour]

[colour=#ff0000]"Hmm... feeling instead of knowing," [/colour]Fire said as her thoughts trailed off, [colour=#ff0000]"I guess I've felt that being around friends, and I guess I'll feel that too when I meet [/colour][colour=#ff0000]a special somepony, just different I guess. I wonder, if my fire ability is tied to emotions and it acts wild when I'm sad or angry, how would it act when I feel love?"[/colour]

Fire realized what she was talking to no pony in particular.

[colour=#ff0000]"Oh, whoops. Guess I was thinking out loud." [/colour]

Fire began to worry about the approaching Secretariat Comet, especially when she heard about magical fluxes. It was bad enough that she sometimes had trouble controlling her magic on her own, but with a force acting on her would make things even worse. Thankfully Luna put her and everypony's minds at ease with the measures to protect Canterlot from any creatures or spells going awry,

[colour=#ff0000]"Phew! That's good to hear that there are things in place. I was afraid I would have to go somewhere where I wouldn't burn something or somepony accidentally due to this magic flux, maybe even away from the city until it passed. But I feel a little better now that there are things in place. Does anypony know of some kind of protection or spell that could maybe dampen my fire ability, just in case due to the flux?"[/colour]

The older filly heard Ice ask about getting a tutor for magic, citing the expenses of such a task.

[colour=#ff0000]"You know, I can help you with your magic. I know I'm [/colour][colour=#ff0000]not a teacher, but if you need somepony to practice with, then I can do that." [/colour]

Guiding Light began to feel a little better from the cider. The world was no longer spinning but he still had a little headache and his balance was still off kilter. Looking around things were slowly starting to return to normal.

The colt then heard the mare that was with Miss Cheerilee ask about flattening out some hay.

[colour=#daa520]"Oh, I can help with that," [/colour]he responded trotting over to the nearby hay bales.

He was about to get to work when he saw that Sweetie Belle was still clinging to Apple Bloom. It kind of reminded him of when he saw a cat clinging to a tree branch.

[colour=#daa520]"I think Sweetie Belle's stuck on there tight, Apple Bloom. That's a funny way of hugging though. I don't think she wants to get off... unless."[/colour]

Lore's mind then thought of a plan and decided to set it into motion. He grabbed a piece of hay from the bale with his telekinesis, one that wasn't sharp but still has the soft grassy ends on it. He then floated the hay over to the earth pony.

[colour=#daa520]"Here Apple Bloom. You can try tickling her off with this. I'd do it myself, but it may not be ok... you know... me being a colt and all." [/colour]

[colour=#800080]"That's ok," [/colour]Lore whispered back to Crescent as the group walked through town, [colour=#800080]"I'm not much of a spinach fan either."[/colour]

The stallion took a liking to the parents of Twilight Sparkle. They were both very loving and caring towards each other and others. When Lore joined the two and Spike, despite being the odd pony out not knowing them prior he soon felt like he had known them forever.

The unicorn blushed slightly at mistaking the comedic comment.

[colour=#800080]"Err... sorry. I thought you meant that literally Crescent. I guess I take thing seriously too much. Maybe i should brush up on my understanding comedy."[/colour]

Twilight Velvet then out of the blue asked her husband if he thought that Lore would be a good romantic match for Twilight. The stallion suddenly blushed at the thought that the mare was playing matchmaker for her daughter. Immediately he felt a wave of nervousness overtake his normally cool demeanor as he struggled to find the right thing to say.

[colour=#800080]"Well... err... um... I've never met her but she sounds nice... and if she likes books that's great too... but ... um... a match... err... maybe..."[/colour]

He immediately clammed up before he said anything stupid. Granted meeting any new pony would be nice, and meeting a special somepony was even better. But he was not one to jump headlong into things.

Spike then mentioned about the Rarity, giving directions like he had been there before many times.

[colour=#800080]"Yes, Rarity is very nice, isn't she? My friend Ice actually went to her to get a dress for some party, and the seamstress was very nice to help her. I've met her too before and she seemed like a very kind pony. I guess you've met her too, right Spike?"[/colour]

Twilight then paused in on the street as she took in the sights. For a smaller town, Ponyville was always bustling with activity. She then apologized for being weird which shocked Lore.

[colour=#800080]"I don't think you're weird. You're actually really kind."[/colour]

Lore then thought about where to go to eat breakfast. There were a few cafes and restaurants in town and all were on an even footing with each other. Still Lore had to choose where the group would eat. As he looked about, his eyes settled on a particular place that had a three leaf clover on its sign.

[colour=#800080]"Well, there's the Clover Cafe over there. Why don't we go there?"[/colour]

Hello again. When you're ready to have this application reviewed, please change the title to Ready. I do see that your colours have been fixed though and your updates.