Lux

Night Watcher cringed slightly as Radiant almost was about to say "sir." Often times she had been mistaken for a stallion, particularity due to the armor masking her feminine form and that she was definitely not a frilly girly pony. Still she wanted make i clear that she wasn't some carbon copy soldier, having her own talents and personality.

Thankfully the guardspony corrected herself, a good sign of self-discipline.

Night then noticed that the new cadet Sterling hesitated when going out for patrol. She knew from experience what it was like second guessing one's actions out of fear of punishment. Nevertheless, he did respond to Radiant's command which did help. Yet Night felt it was best to use this as a teaching moment.

[colour=#800080]"Thank you Private Steel for giving the order. Actually this is a very important lesson for both of you. While it is understood that soldiers should follow orders from higher command, in the end it is your decisions that can make the difference between success or failure of a mission. When I went through training, I learned that you should never hesitate. When the time comes where there may not be a superior around, you will have to be the one to decide and act. This is especially true for the Lunar Guards that serve with me as often times they are on patrol alone. Do you understand what I am saying?"[/colour]

As the earth pony went about collecting a few gardening supplies to stock up, Carrot Top was happy to find that Hayseed had more in common with her than just being two farm ponies.

[colour=#ff8c00]"Hmm... you know I don't think that I've read that book yet. Thanks for telling me Hayseed! I'll be sure to pick it up." [/colour]

The mare's eyes then met Hayseed's for only a brief few seconds but it could have been an eternity in their minds. It was then Carrot felt something. It was a strange alien feeling, but it wasn't bad like feeling sick or upset. It in fact felt good, very good. It went beyond the feeling she had when making new friends or a good day's work out in the field. She wondered if maybe, just maybe, there was something more to this handsome bashful stallion beyond just being friends. Only time would tell, and Carrot wasn't one to rush through things.

[colour=#ff8c00]"I think I have everything in this area, but I think I'm missing something. Oh, I know, the seed packets!"[/colour]

Carrot went to a section of shelves that had packets of all kinds of seeds from fruits and vegetables to hay seeds to even flowers and plants. She selected several types, mainly carrots of course, before returning to the stallion's question.

[colour=#ff8c00]"Well, i guess we can go over to the book area. Maybe we can find something else interesting to read. Heh, I guess hearing that I like Louise LaMare shows[/colour] [colour=#ff8c00]that I'm king of a fan of romance."[/colour]

Fire Heart was surprised to see not only Misty who was Merlin Magic's granddaughter but Misty's parents as well. Now the older filly had a greater audience.

[colour=#ff0000]"Oh, hello Misty, Mighty, and Abracadabra. Nice to meet you all especially seeing the entire family here. I really haven't had this many ponies, except during exams maybe. But alright, I think I'm ready." [/colour]

Fire Heart prepared herself for the next spell by clearing her mind. It didn't matter who was there. To her, it was just her and her magic. As she focused on the spell a tiny flame appeared from the tip of her horn. She then bent down and drew a small straight line made out of flames that hovered above the ground without touching it. She quickly added more lines and curves of flame, sometimes leaving spaces in between. Finally she added a little flaming heart above the one line and stood back, admiring her work. For there in fiery letters was her name, Fire Heart with a heart dotting the I.

Hello, Lux here, your friendly neighborhood Helpstaffer. Sorry I didn't see your reply before.

Anyway, the easiest way to fix your name is to click the Edit button, then click Full Editor, then you can change the title to Ready and hit Save.

Now, there's also the text which needs to be black.You can use the Edit button again and then highlight and select Black and it will be fixed.

So, since you're getting to make it as Ready, let's go through with it.

[colour=#663366]Coat: Dark Blue with a[/colour][colour=#ff0000] few scars on it, Has a prominant one over his right eye and one over his snout. [/colour]

I'd have to say no about the scars as we discourage having ponies with physical/ mental disabilities.

[colour=#663366]Residence: A small cloud condominium, [/colour][colour=#ff0000]Smaller than what Rainbow Dash's is. [/colour][colour=#663366]On the outskirts of Cloudsdale, Is able to move on the breeze to new locations but is usually situated here.[/colour]

You'll need to remove the reference to Rainbow Dash as we don't allow references to cast characters. Just mentioning that you have a small home independent of Cloudsdale is fine.

Now the story:

[colour=#ff0000]He crashed into the Everfree Forest and gained his scars. He stayed there in the forest until he was better. Three days later he returned to his parents and appologised to them. They were shocked by his scars but the deed had been done. He got along well with his parents eversince and didnt object to anything they asked of him. They dissapeared during the Changeling attack and he has no idea where they went. He believes they were taken by them but he is unsure. He has family in Fillydelphia, His cousin Dust trail and His uncle Afterburn. But he never really saw them to much during his colthood. [/colour]

A couple of things here. Again you should eliminate the part about getting the scars. Also, the Everfree Forest is a very dangerous place, so I'd eliminate that reference. You could say that he crashed in say Ponyville or Canterlot and had to stay in the hospital instead of going missing in the forest. I'd also remove the idea of parents going missing, replacing that with his desire to stand on his own as an adult.

[colour=#663366]Flashbomb needed a job badly to get his own place, He tried so many other jobs until one day he joined the Weather team and helps with cloud control. He bought a small cloud house condominium and lives there with his pet Ospray "Rivet". He has an oblong dream of joining the wonderbolts one day but he believes its a Fools errand. He goes with the flow and lets life take him to wherever it goes.[/colour]

You might want to know more about how he decided to join the weather team.

So those are the things I see. Please let me know when any changes are made and of course if you have any questions.

Hello, just checking on the status of the application.

Hello, to add to what Phil is mentioning about bars, clubs are fine since there are teen clubs in real life, but bars not really.

As for your name, Rift by definition means a split, either a physical one or a personal one. An easy fix is change it to Riff, as in a guitar riff. Just a suggestion for an easy name fix.

Carrot Top smiled when Hayseed mentioned having a good relationship with his sisters. Besides that and farming, the stallion's life was fairly normal with enjoying reading. The earth pony knew that being a farm pony meant that grand adventures and activities were often not possible due to not straying too far from a farm.

It was then that the stallion mentioned the author Louise LaMare which made her eyes instantly light up.

[colour=#ff8c00]"Are you kidding? I love Louise LaMare! I've read all of her novels and even have a few in my personal collection. I love hearing about life on the prairie. I especially like the story about her making friends with a buffalo. It makes me want to travel out west to see what life is really like out in the prairie." [/colour]

From the princess's response, Night Watcher realized that she had conveyed the wrong message. Now Luna was mentioning about leaving like the guardspony wished to be alone. It was no wonder why as the pegasus had mentioned about her route and other things about her service when the princess was actually trying to get to know her more as a pony rather than a guard.

[colour=#800080]"Forgive me," [/colour]Night Watcher said as her head drooped slightly, [colour=#800080]"I sometimes get so wrapped up into my job as a guardspony that I don't see when others are wanting to get to know me. It doesn't help [/colour][colour=#800080]that I don't often see others at night except for other guards. Don't get me wrong, I like being a member of the Lunar Guard, and somepony needs to guard the night. But sometimes the nights can get a little lonely. So yes, I would like the company." [/colour]

It was a refreshing relief to be able to speak her mind, even in a position where she often held her opinions against her heart.

[colour=#ff0000]"Hmm... [/colour][colour=#ff0000]a hot air balloon," [/colour]Fire heart said regarding Moondancer's idea, [colour=#ff0000]"You know, I've never been in one but I hear they're fun. I'd personally like to learn one of these days a cloud walking spell so I can see the city from cloud level." [/colour]

Both Spirit and Moondancer mentioned their desire to see her dance. It was nice to know that there were ponies who were interested in her talents and not frightened by seeing essentially a unicorn aflame.

[colour=#ff0000]"Well I'll definitely tell when and where. I kind of just dance when I feel like it, or when I'm free. [/colour]

Moondancer then mentioned going back to Counselor Marie's office to get permission to get to the artifact room at Canterlot University.

[colour=#ff0000]"Sure, we can go if you want. I can wait to see that room at the University." [/colour]

[colour=#ff0000]"Thanks both of you," [/colour]Fire Heart replied, [colour=#ff0000]"That spell is kind if tricky to do, trying to create perfect looking wings and then keeping them that way." [/colour]

The two professors were so interested that they were looking for an encore. Fire Heart was happy to oblige. After all, they were two ponies that seemed not the least bit concerned about a unicorn creating and controlling fire.

[colour=#ff0000]"Sure I can show you another spell. I just need a little time to get my energy back. That last [/colour][colour=#ff0000]spell was a doozy!"[/colour]

It was then that a voice echoed from above which Professor Krashkop identified as Misty. Fire began to worry about this pony joining them after turning Ingrid Marie's office into a beach scene.

Carrot Top smiled as Haymaker agreed to accompany her yet again with shopping. If nothing else it would hopefully stop any other potential mishaps between the stallion and his sisters and keep him being able to stay in the store. Of course she knew that anything could happen though that could make a normal time become anything but that.

[colour=#ff8c00]"It must be nice, having siblings," [/colour]the mare said as she alternated between looking at him and the contents on the shelves, [colour=#ff8c00]"I guess that's the one thing I never really had in my life: siblings. I sometimes imagine what it would be like if I had an older or younger brother or sister, being able to play with them, talk with them, or just share each others' secrets. You know, things that siblings do. But it's really just me though." [/colour]

Carrot Top gave out a wistful sigh of what could have been as she selected a watering can and placing it in her cart.

[colour=#ff8c00]"Anyway, I don't want to bring down such a fun time I'm having here, especially with you. So, besides farming and having fun with your sisters, what else do you like to do?"[/colour]

Hello. Your friendly neighborhood RP Helpstaffer here. You have an interesting character as a tinkerer.

One thing that you should add is how Gadget got his cutie mark. This is an important part in a pony's life, and it will help shed some light on your character more about how he got into tinkering with things. Did his brother or a friend need something fixed? Did he like taking apart things and trying to reassemble things? The more we know how and why he got interested in tinkering and his cutie mark, the better.

You should also explain some of his likes and dislikes such as why he doesn't like learning (actually tinkering with thing is learning). Also, I'd check the application as I see some things like names of his family members and places he's been not capitalized.

Whether an OC character is active or inactive, you cannot create a character with the same name. The character is still theirs. That is why if you think you are creating a character whose name might be used, it's best to run a search just to be sure.

Just a little heads up ponies:

I am attending Big Apple Ponycon next week on March 23 to 24. I'll be leaving Friday night and won't be home until Monday afternoon. Between those times my presence here will be sporadic.

After the con, I'll be back to my usual appearances here.

Fire Heart couldn't restrain her laughter seeing the two elderly ponies making fun of each other. Clearly it was all in jest and they were really good friends and colleagues with one another.

[colour=#ff0000]"Don't worry. I'm not going to try this out yet on anypony else but me. I'm not that comfortable with it yet. But anyway, here it goes."[/colour]

The older filly then concentrated as her horn glowed. Immediately two spouts of flames appeared from her sides, just behing her shoulders. They then elongated into more of a fiery oval pattern while showing details of feathers. Eventually Fire Heart had what looked like two Pegasus wings made of fire growing from her. They were not real wings but did look realistic. She gave her false fiery wings a few flaps before letting them dissolve into thin air.

[colour=#ff0000]"So, what do you think?" [/colour]

Having seen the Broadway musical and watched the past Les Miserables movie which wasn't a musical (and frankly was meh) this one was very true to the play. The singing was great, the plot was timeless, and the costumes and scenery were great.

Despite her pleas Carrot Top thought that her companion Hayseed and his entire family would still be ejected out of the store. This was especially the case when Hayseed continued to taunt her brother. But thanks to a change of heart of the store owner the group was allowed to stay.

[colour=#ff8c00]"oh thank you, Mr. Rich[/colour][colour=#ff8c00]," [/colour]Carrot Top said, [colour=#ff8c00]"Don't worry. I'll keep Hayseed out of trouble."[/colour]

With that she gave a little wink to the owner before turning back to the stallion.

[colour=#ff8c00]"Come on, let's get back to the farming area before you get into any more trouble. I could only imagine what it's like at home with those two. Must be fun, but crazy!"[/colour]

[colour=#ff0000]"I definitely would love to go to Nightmare Night in[/colour] [colour=#ff0000]Ponyville one day[/colour][colour=#ff0000]," [/colour]Fire Heart said to Princess Luna and Moondancer, [colour=#ff0000]"I heard it's nteresting going around to the different haunted attractions and getting all the candy. Actually I heard that you can even go to the Moon Palace. I actually an studying that during school, but what I really want to do is go see it. I could only imagine what it looked like when it was ... not in ruins. But the school does have festivities going on so at least I had fun there." [/colour]

The unicorn heard Ice Storm mention that she would be working at the Nightmare night rather than participating.

[colour=#ff0000]"Oh I think you could take a break from selling snow cones. After all I don't think it's just for foals to enjoy. I mean I like a good laugh and a good scare and of course candy."[/colour]

Fire Heart heard Moondancer mention a certain cosmic event that was to happen soon. Although her studies at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns were not as rigorous as in the university, the older filly nonetheless liked stargazing ,. This was especially true due to the great observation area at the top of one of the buildings where a pony could get an entire panoramic view of the city and the skies above.

[colour=#ff0000]"ooo! I'm going to have to remember that. I'll definitely be up in the observation area when that happens." [/colour]

The unicorn listened as Princess Luna explained that love worked both ways and the she needed to be loved as well as love others. It appeared that Ice Storm felt the same way as well, although it somehow appeared that she was reflecting on other aspects beyond friends and romantic interests.

[colour=#ff0000]"You're right, I definitely have to make sure that friends love me too. As for finding a mate, well I haven't felt any love yet for any stallions I've met, but may someday soon. Have you had a best friend to just have fun with, Princess?"[/colour]

Ever since she received the letter telling her that her parents and her sister Honeycrisp had decided to move to Appleoosa, she was excited about getting the chance to have a day with her sister. It had been a while seeing her since moving and despite liking her surroundings there were times that the earth pony got homesick for her family. Luckily the family came to her, and she was eager to help them get settled in.

Now Apple Cinnamon waited at her home, looking forward to meeting her sister and to give her the tour of the town.

Fire Heart was for the moment lost in the beauty that the observation area provided. Even though she had been up here before, the view never ceased to amaze her. There was always something new to see.

Then Moondancer's mentioning of seeing other cities snapped her back to reality.

[colour=#ff0000]"You're right, I would like to someday see how other towns are like from being high up. I bet they're just as breath taking as here, maybe more."[/colour]

The white unicorn then asked if she could watch Fire dance.

[colour=#ff0000]"Err... well... I never had anypony see me dance before except by accident. Of course those times the ponies though something was on fire. [/colour][colour=#ff0000]But if you want to, I don't see why not." [/colour]

The red unicorn was pleased to hear that Spirit liked the idea of going to a concert with her. She wondered if the crowds and noise of the concert would upset the pony who lived like a recluse during her foalhood, but the only way to find out would be going to a concert.

[colour=#ff0000]"Well, I'll keep a look out for any concerts and let you know then."[/colour]

The older filly then caught what spirit said, even though it was to no pony in particular.

[colour=#ff0000]"I know how you feel. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I were born a pegasus and could fly around everywhere. But you know I'm happy being a unicorn, and at least I get to see the city from here. You should see this place at night! Of course you can't really see the buildings much, but the stars! I don't think there's a better place to see them."[/colour]

(Sure thanks for the fun!)

Heart Healer was happy to see that Telki was accepting of her advice and that she was able to break through that one bad moment. To prove this she showed off her technique which made Heart smile.

[colour=#800080]"You're welcome Telki. I'm glad you feel better about your talent and yourself. And yes, my door is always open in case you need to speak to me again. [/colour]

As she bid the unicorn farewell, the psychologist prepared for her next pony to see.

Ok. Having reviewed this with the other Helpstaffers, I have a few things to request.

First let's look at this line in the History section:

[colour=#ff0000]Her father was afraid that his little girl would be brainwashed by the Diarchist government so is still slightly reluctant to allow Apple Susie to go but her mother convinced him to let her make new friends outside of the house.[/colour]

My problem and for others is that this line seems too dark. It's as if the father is dissenting to the government. Now while the father can, you don't have to going into him brainwashing Apple Susie. So I'd tone this back.

Now this:

[colour=#ff0000]Likes: All types of apple sweets, family, adventures, Making new friends, dancing, taking care of littler ponies

Dislikes:Bullies, School, stinky diapies, ponies who give her a reason not to like them.

Friend-wise:Susie is usually a filly you can easily become friends with but she tends to study a pony before she friends them which might take a while.

Hobbies: Amatuer Foal sitting, hanging out with little critters, making new friends, reading the occasional adventure comic, and exploring beyond the invisible boundaries of her home

Talents:Animal caretaking, Adventuring, singing (kind of), DANCING OH YEAH! (not really), diplomating,and getting into certain things that are none of her beeswax.

Faults: She can be a bit of a novice at making friends, Hot headed, Overly protective, and has a bit of a sweet tooth

Dreams: To explore around and beyond Equestria, getting her cutie mark, and to meet different creatures (Sentient like the buffalo people and such)

Fears: The dark, being abandoned, and never getting her cutie mark[/colour]

With our new application format http://www.canterlot.com/topic/12309-raritys-simply-fabulous-application-form-read-this-before-posting-an-application/ we often combine these areas into the Character Summary area. Otherwise it seems that things are scattered. So I would expand your Character Summary section by adding some of this information and then delete this area. It will make things more clear and fit with the application format.

Let me know if you need any help with these fixes.

The Lunar Guard noticed the dour look on Princess Luna's face when she mentioned the Changeling incident. It was something that weighed heavily on the minds of many ponies, especially those living in Canterlot. But Night Watcher could only imagine how Luna felt as one of the protectors of the city.

The princess then asked if she would accompany her. Night found it interesting that it was almost like the Princess was guarding her rather that the other way around.

[colour=#800080]"As you wish, Your Highness. My patrol tonight consists of the blocks around the castle where as the other guards are patrolling the rest of the city. Do you have a particular place that you like to visit while in Canterlot?"[/colour]

Well, the application will go through a review process, but you should know soon the results. Either you will heard feedback from me if something else needs fixed or you'll see a stamp meaning your character is ready to go.

Before she could do anything, Carrot Top watched as one of Hayseed's sisters tackled a unicorn pony. When the pair came to a stop right in front of her, the mare noticed that the sister was wearing the stallion's beard! There was something amiss about the unicorn, like she had seen him before, but at the moment she couldn't figure out how.

Then Mr. Rich seeing and hearing the commotion told Hayseed and Haymaker to leave the store. She'd hate to see her shopping companion have to leave early so she spoke up to the store owner.

[colour=#ff8c00]"Awww please let Hayseed stay Mr. Rich. He wasn't hurting anypony. He was just laughing at his sister that's all." [/colour]