ChancellorPuddinghead

Love Stephen Coltbert!!!

I was watching cutie pox and saw this: This is on the inside of their home just to the right of the door. Could this be their missing parents? http://i40.tinypic.com/108bmrl.jpg

No need? Campy Spiderman vs. Pinkie Pie - The Immovable Object vs. The Irresistable Force!!!! :D The only thing missing is some popcorn!!! *runs to microwave* pop pop pop pop pop POP!!!! *munch* *munch* Ok I'm good - continue - Spiderman vs. Pinkie - gogogogogogogoggogo GO!!! This is like the Sisterhooves Social - but with superheroes and ponies!!!

Coffee is like the Krabby Pattie - It is a universal good. Welcome!

In the end I don't think they will reveal the parents to have passed away - with how spread out the family is I'd say eventually it will be revealed they are away doing important work for X reason.

What a sweet little angel! - Finally a game I feel has value

I'm quite ok with timberwolves. GO PACK! http://www.gopack.com/

-More lines for Big Mac -History of Ponyville -Introduction of the Timber Wolf I have to admit - the cutie crusader dominance continues - but they've opened a window into the mane 6's family lives - I liked it!

Welcome!

Oh I'd keep it in there - Did his advice help? I sent a message to My Little Pony Tales - hopefully she has the time to look at it - idk - I'm not a great source for critique tbh.

I really disagree. I dont' see how later in the series - I don't know about right now - expanding the character depth on the show would be a bad thing. There's so much more they can do now with just the mane 6 that would cover several seasons. In Star Trek TNG they brought Barclay out of the background and he even spanned over into Voyager. I don't feel we can sit back and say that fandom can write these characters better than the professional staff of MLP - FIM can. I think we need to trust them more than that. I think they can expand on Derpy without violating anything the fans have done.

Welcome !

I'll send him a link and let you know what he says -

Let's go!!! Just as long as our warp engine is rainbow powered!

Really? No I'm a bouncing baby brony of only a few weeks actually. I've always loved the memes but immersing myself into the culture is a recent thing. What about bronyville? Oh I do think the conversation with nurse redheart could be shortened - maybe what you could do is have a moment where twilight is more reflective over what happened almost as a summary - idk - what i noticed is I was reading and the chapters flow so smoothly - then BUMPITY BUMP BUMP - that part was bumpy for me to read - I'm not a professional writer - maybe someone like My Little Pony Tales - the admin from here would have some more objective advice - my advice is very subjective and without metric or measured value whereas a more professional viewpoint can pinpoint exactly what you need to change. I have a friend who is a prolific writer - he's on my Yugioh board http:www.dudley.createforumhosting.com - micesmack - he just recently wrote a really good review for MLP - FIM for our site. I could get him to look over that part if you like.

Welcome!

Welcome!

What a sweet soul Welcome!

Welcome!

Thank you Starfox! I would like to do something about the Apple Family - they remind me of my family a lot - I'm from the South. I'll think about it. I'll also be tuning into your subsequent chapters! Keep up the good work!

Oh so we're ok to keep this topic going? Went in the US Air Force then I got out and work in an office environment now. I'm a partially disabled veteran. (means I hurt my back )

Thanks!!! The honest and helpful feedback is just what I needed! I don't know that I'll be putting any more efforts into this or anything else - but that gives me something to think about if I decide to write any more. Seems like I need some education on what a screenplay style vs. descriptive narrative style is. I'll look into it!

Welcome!

I'm reading through 3 right now - the part with nurse redheart could be smoothed out a little bit for dialogue - not sure how to suggest doing it though Chapter 2 was very good - I really like how the Dragons fit into the bigger picture and their motives - very solid. Oh Chapter 4 is very nice! Much more Rarity here - Dash is much more prominent as well. Good chapter is good so far! Ewwwww a lot more AJ too!!!! This is one of the more balanced chapters - but that's understandable seeing as how focused it was on twilight earlier. tbh 4 is my favorite chapter thus far Ok - I'm flying through this - *and the phone rings* and into Chapter 5 - whewwwwww - I haven't read this much since I read Harry Potter - I really like this chapter - A LOT!!! Ok if Fluttershy told me i had beautiful eyes THE FIRST THING TO COME OFF would be the ring - ROFLMAO oh and it's spelled 'Zecora' - Starfox - this story is getting better as it goes along - very nicely done - i love this Zebra sub plot. Shaleel- *sounds like Yusei* I TOTALLY WON THAT DUEL (yugioh abridged series joke) Wow - I have enjoyed this - I've got to leave the story for now - but I'll pick up on chapter 6 at a later time - it's very good I Iiked the later chapters more but as I was reading the characters in those chapters really seemed to pop out and come to life - it was almost as if you were watching the show. I'll probably wait until several more chapters are done and I'll come back to it. Great Job! Very Well Done.