starswirlthebearded

Hey there! Any progress on this app?

For the next two weeks my activity will be sporadic to nonexistent.

The nonexistent times will be next weekend.

All of this is due to moving. I'll try to be on as much as I can.

Update: might be a bit longer than originally thought

Hey there!

I love the idea for the character. And on the whole this is a good app. There are a few things that will need tweaking or modifying.

The biggest thing is the name of the parents. Direct references to real world peoples is not allowed in apps. The other issue is that, well, it doesn't sound too pony-like. You can feel free to rename them to something more appropriate, or remove the names completely. Parental names are encouraged, but never required in apps.

The use of the term toddler is also out of place, since that is specifically a human term (referring to a child whom is just learning how to walk). The pony appropriate term would be "foal."

The next thing that raises an eyebrow is that they got media attention for having Tinder. While I can imagine them getting media attention for announcing a new death-defying act (as part of publicity), child birth not so much. It just seems superfluous.

Honestly, the rest of my comments have to do with proofreading. Making sure everything written makes sense, and proper capitalization is used. There are a few sentences that don't make much sense. The mains one that comes to mind are

Because of never attending a public school, Tin-tin never had many friends her age. But it wasn't something truly minded, having other foals and fillies and colts her age to play with. She wouldn't have found her special talent in a public school and every day, ordinary life.

There are other things that don't make much sense either, so it would be good to give your app another once over.

However, that said, this is an excellent app and a really unique and interesting character. It just needs a bit more work.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask!

Sounds good Loopend! Thanks for your time

Might I request my OC pony Trekker?

1. Spike
   
2. Vinyl Scratch
   
3. Berry Punch
   

So... Spike'll be dressing in drag then?

1) Princess Celestia

2) empty

3) empty

Well, I've been coming here less and less in the past couple of months, and while I've had a great time here, there doesn't seem to be much point in me sticking around any more.

I'll always be grateful to the Canterlot community for making me feel at home and putting up with my weirdness. Without this site, I'd probably have drifted out of the brony community soon after the forces of cultural osmosis drew me in. However, the people here all kept me invested in the fandom, to the point where I'm now completely ensnared, and actually producing my own fan content. I've been more productive in the past few months than I've ever been before, and it's an amazing feeling.

I'm leaving for various reasons; chiefly that I never really got into the forum RP as much as I was intending to (not that there's anything wrong with RP on this site, all the threads I've looked at look amazingly fun, it's just I haven't had the time), and that I'm too lazy to upload the same piece of art to several websites.

For those of you who want to keep track of what I produce, I'm pretty active on my tumblr. If you want to keep in touch personally, feel free to add me on Skype (username: brainedbysaucepans).

Stay amazing and be well!

- Saucy

Feel free to drop by anytime. You're always welcome here!

Hey there! There seems to be some confusion regarding the status of the Philosopher's Stone. And as the site's very own Hohenheim of Light, I feel like I'm probably the best person to tackle this issue.

Though we know magical items exist, we don't know what they are, how they function, or if they can or might match our real world legendary items (like the Philosopher's Stone). Due to this, the mere mention of the stone is not suitable for our RP. We aren't ready to allow the creation of lore through apps either. Any mystic item would be RPed for, and chances are, doesn't exist. This is especially so for an extremely powerful item like the Philosopher's Stone. It is an OP item. So suggesting it is real, and thus creating the lore would not be allowed.

Now! You do have an option! Which would be to remove all references to the actual name of the stone, and make it vague. Perhaps state that his goal is to find a mythical alchemic item, of some fabled power. Again this would all be MYTHICAL AND FABLED. No where in your app should you suggest any item like that actually exists. (Again this goes back to reservations of lore creation within apps) It is fine if your character wishes to pursue items of legend, but always keep it in reason.

Your app is about your character, not the World of Equestria. That is where your focus should lie. Adding things about the world around him is never a good idea. Keep everything simple, and if it hasn't been in the show, keep it vague, or play it safe and try to tell your character's story without it. Now, in this case, I realize that isn't possible to remove that entirely. However keeping it vague should work nicely!

I hope this helps, and good luck!

Oi! Destiny! I see that you are new! So welcome to our site and our roleplay area! As such you probably haven't had the chance to explore much or read everything for our RP! Really before anything else can be done with this app, you'll need to follow Rarity's Fabulous Application Form! In that form it will ask you for roleplay type which are as follows:

World of Equestria - Character application required!

Canterlot's premiere roleplay, World of Equestria (or WoE/Mane RP) is a strict, structured game that mirrors the basic principles, rules, and continuity (canon) of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Characters here must pass a review process by our volunteer staff to be deemed acceptable for play in this area. This game also features players that play Cast from FiM.

Free for All - No application required.

Free for All is an area designated for any character, and anything you can dream. This is a good place to test new character concepts, story ideas, and to meet new and interesting players. Mature content must go in the 18+ sub-section.

There are also several more fields you'll need to fill in as well that will help you have a well developed character! After you clear those up we can move this application right along!

You also have to mark this application as [WiP] or [Ready] by editing the title, which you'll be able to do after you have three posts, and selecting "edit" then "use full editor."

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask right here in this thread!

Its a pleasure being here. And ponies like you are why I serve. um... Where do I go to post about my characters?

Considering that I'm trying to get into the officer program of the USAF (not an easy task apparently). It is a pleasure to meet you!

As for RPing and characters? Well! If you want to make a character application form please look no further than the Character Applications (WoE) section of our fair forum. There you will find a form to follow! If you need any help or have any questions or concerns, feel free to ask any of the RPH staff (like yours truly)!

I hope to see you around the RP section soon!

DRM is fine, DRM that requires the system to be always on is not. Places with lack luster service are being punished because they won't be able to play the games they buy.

Awesome! I've passed this one up to the SRPHS.

Please be patient while they review your app

Sorry this took me so long to get back to! I've been busy!

Now! The app honestly looks fantastic now! There is just one thing I'd suggest to tone down or remove completely if possible.

Her most prominent fault and failure would be her paranoia when it comes to talking with others. It hinders her from so much, even her dreams at times.

That is a bit much, and shyness of that level would make it exceedingly hard to play this character in WoE. WoE is a slice of life interaction based RP. If your character is afraid to talk to ponies, then how will they function? Being a bit shy is all well and good, but it is always best to keep those traits to a minimum so that you can play them effectively in our RP!

I'd also remove the first instance of the bow description.

with a sea-green bow tangled neatly into the back of her mane.

But fantastic work here! It just requires a few more small tweaks

Great highlight bugmaster!

and another bug related news story. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/04/giant-tarantula-discovered-venomous-sri-lankan-spider_n_3016673.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

WE MUST PRESERVE IT!

Hey there Kit!

I must say this is an excellent first app! You have a well developed character here. There is some work to be done though!

First off, you can't be both a Older Filly and a Young Mare. They are two different age brackets. Since she already has a job, it would be safe to say she is a Young Mare.

Next thing is a simple spelling error for the cutie mark. It should be "treble clef" not "cleft."

After that, in your history. You C/Ped the CM story. That really isn't necessary. Instead I suggest you expand her history a bit! I suggest instead of asking questions of introspection, you actually answer them in the app with your character's thought process. And go into her experiences in school and how she grew as a person.

This would actually also help your cutie mark story as well. Go into her self journey that lead to her cutie mark!

And as I always do with shy characters, I usually recommend that is toned down. Mainly because playing extremely introverted characters can not be very fun in a slice of life Roleplay, like we have here, where character interaction is paramount! But otherwise the Character Summary section is rather good! (I would take out the bit about the "scars of the past" though )

But this is a fantastic start! If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask!

I can try that. BTW, when will I be able to put up another OC I have for application? I believe this newer OC will better fit the parameters of WoE.

You can have two character applications open. One WiP and one Ready.

So... Right now if you want

Heh, sorry! I forgot to edit my post before replying ^^'''

Awesome! Thanks muchly!

Now please be patient while a SRPHS looks over this app for final approval! If anything further needs to be done either myself of the SRPHS will let you know here!

Yeah, just so I'm clear. I mean this...

History:[colour=#282828] Tangerine was born in a small cottage on the border between the Roundbottom Hills and Whitetail wood where she grew up in relative comfort with her mother Rosy, father Cloud Rush and older brother Reynn. Although her father would be gone for long periods of time since before both her and her brother were born both of their parents had lived in Ponyville but unfortunately her father could not find a position near Garden Gait when her parents had moved and had to continue to commute to other cities. With Cloud Rush absent for weeks on end, her older brother Reynn would eventually be the one who taught her how to fly. From there, both siblings shared a pretty close bond and both ponies played almost exclusively with each other until Reynn had aged well into Colthood. But their tight knit relationship had a wedge put into it when her brother was picked up by the weather team as he had quite some talent for flying. Even with Reynn working a lot of the time, he still found time to play with his little sister but even more of his time was taken up when he was recommended for the Wonderbolts Academy. With both academy courses and work taking up Reynn’s time, he had no time for Tangerine. This put Tangerine in an awkward position when she suddenly had to pursue other relationships other than the ones with her family.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]At the time, she was attending a small school tucked away in Roundbottom hills and many of the locals had heard about her brother being accepted to the Wonderbolts Academy and most of the other foals weren’t interested in becoming friends with Tangerine since she had neglected to ever extend the hand of friendship when her brother was still around. But thankfully, she did befriend a pair of unicorn siblings named Minuet and Mezzo. But when she came home it would usually just be her mother and herself and to try and compensate for the absence of Tangerine’s brother and father, Rosy started to bake frequently with her daughter to keep her company. Slowly Tangerine became comfortable with the idea that her brother would no longer be able to devote afternoons to spend with her and life continued on, and she became quite good friends with the unicorn brother and sister. Minuet and Mezzo were both very musical ponies and even before they found their cutie marks they knew they wanted to be musicians, but Tangerine didn’t quite share the same passion. But even when both unicorns were busy with recitals and lessons they always made sure to spend time with Tangerine.

[colour=#282828]Like that! It just makes it easier for us to read [/colour]

Alrighty :3 I made it into paragraphs!

Was curious, since my history section is pretty hefty should I put it in a spoiler tag so it doesn't take up so much room?

Nope not necessary in the slightest. Putting Spoiler tags usually muck up more than they make things neater I've noticed.

Putting a space in between paragraphs does help though so they are more easily distinguishable. (Again its all for ease of readability)

However! This is good enough for me to pass up though. And so I shall. Great work Cyro!

But... Armony isn't sentient! He's a statue!

Welcome to Canterlot! Hope you enjoy yourself here!

BTW Roleplaying here is awesome!

Harmony was taken in by the energetic company she was with. at this point she was just itching to get up and play again. However she elected to stay with the conversation. She was especially taken with Birdy who just lived and breathed energy, an energy that Harmony could only merely emulate on stage. She didn't have that sort of energy for every day affairs. She'd probably sleep for a week if she was anything like Birdy off the stage. As it stood Harmony would pass out after long sets if she wasn't given time to rest!

[colour=#DAA520]“Dissy, huh?”[/colour][colour=#282828] Riff asked with a lopsided smile, [/colour][colour=#DAA520]“Doesn’t sound half bad – Dissy and Birdy, jazz mares extraordinaire!”[/colour]

[colour=#282828]As she said it, the jazzy mare struck a tacky pose, flicking her voluminous mane with her hoof before bursting into a small peal of laughter.[/colour]

[colour=#DAA520]“We’d be stars!”[/colour]

Harmony felt weird hearing another pony call her by the name only her mentor called her up until now. But the way she said it made Harmony smile.

[colour=#330066]"Heh, I'm not sure about all that"[/colour] Harmony said with a smile. [colour=#330066]"I just play because I love playing. But hey! I wouldn't mind travelin' around with a talented mare like yourself! And if we happen to get famous along the way, well I won't mind."[/colour]

Then Oil Wells turned to the young mare and spoke to her about her philosophy. Though he paused for a bit... Which left Harmony wondering what he was going to say. He after all seemed a bit like a stiff. Though he was at the very least able to make jokes about himself.

[colour=#282828]"Then, if you don't mind me saying so, I suggest you never change that. If you want the key to happiness, not that I think you haven't already found it, its always being willing to learn, always doing what makes you happy, and always following what comes naturally to you...well, listen to me, sounding as if I am trying to be some sort of wise pony, haha."[/colour]

"[colour=#330066]Ha! Believe you me, I intend to! The music will be my guide until these hooves can't carry this mare anymore![/colour]" Harmony said with fervor. She was starting to think she had Oil Wells pegged all wrong. He seemed to be lightening up. Well anyone that would hit up a jazz bar had to be at least a little bit hep.

The door opened and a rather interesting pony walked in at that moment. The pony looked to be avoiding the crowds. Curious to say the least. As he eyed the stage it looked as if she was looking for a show.

In the meanwhile Timbre Swing and Birdy were chatting it up. With Birdy proving her vocal prowess. And there was a bit of flirting going on. Harmony smiled when she heard Timbre's suggestion for a duet with Birdy.

[colour=#282828]When she finished, he drummed his hooves on the table in applause. "[/colour]Magnifique!Absolument magnifique![colour=#282828]" he said with a grin. "[/colour]Madamme[colour=#282828] Riff, zat was quite incredible. Per'aps, before zee night is s'rough, you would 'onour me with a duet?" he asked.[/colour]

"[colour=#330066]Hey, that mare over there is eyeing the stage. If she's lookin' for a show, I think skipping the duet and doing a trio would blow their socks off. Whaddya say you two? If you're done flirting I think we can blow the roof offa this joint. It'll make a heck of a crazy jam session, that's for sure![/colour]" Harmony said with a bit of a mischievous smile, like she was going to play like a mare possessed. Not only was she surrounded by talented musicians but there was also someone who looked like they were looking for a good stage show. And Harmony was itching to show it to them. With Birdy and Timbre accompanying there was no way this night wouldn't be one to remember.

Much better! I don't really see any problems with content!

However, could you do myself and the SRPHS that will be looking at this a favour and separate the wall of text into paragraphs please?

Thanks! And fantastic work!

I'll throw Trekker into the fray. Seems fun!

I see you are a scientist...

I too am a scientist. It is a pleasure meeting another whom deals with science. I only wish I was creative enough for the arts though... I'm horrible! I'll be lucky if I can draw a stick figure!

As for things to do...? Well! There is RP (Fantastic RP btw), Games area, General Discussion, Chit Chat. We even have a chat room! There's lots to do! Hope to see you around!

Hello there everypony my name is Solar Bolt and I'm new here.

I recently heard about this place from somepony by the name of SonicRainboomGirl and well here I am so i-if anypony is willing to show me around on here I would really appreciate it thanks and I'll maybe be on here later on tonight to chat with some of you colts and mares as well ok.

You should start a new introduction topic and introduce yourself to the community then! Good to see a friend of SRG though!

As for Azal! Welcome to Canterlot. You work with leather? Does this mean artistic work or more practical?