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Jane

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Posts posted by Jane

  4. Equestria High: Sign up//Interest check

    in Out of Character Discussion

    Posted

    I thought the name of the school was Canterlot High... And I just realized, with some horror, that I don't really have a character that fits and also lives in Canterlot! Gugh, gugh.... Honeydew would be good, but she lives in Manehattan, even if she does travel a lot. Moon Walker is too old (what with having a kid and all)... And I'm not sure really if I want to play Tawny in a high school. Cinnabar Star would also work, but she lives in the Crystal Empire, so that's a no go, too...

    Must make a profile for a Canterlot-living OC.... GAH.

    Dude, Honeydew in High school would be amazing. You must do it!

  8. Stormsong [Ready]

    in Original Characters

    Posted

    It feels like such an honour to be reviewing a Statue app - wouldn't you know it, talking statues make great writers, too!

    You may want to fix the link to Sage Leaf's app (It's missing the "[url=" if you used the simple editor for it). Other than that, everything looks great to me! :D

  9. Sparkle Snow {Ready!}

    in Original Characters

    Posted

    Quicklime OCs are best OCs! :) I love how you've given this character a heart and a story that doesn't focus heavily on her handicap. Reminds me of Sue Thomas, F. B. Eye in that she isn't hindered just because she's deaf, but there's actual depth to her. I know that's exactly what you set out to do in designing her and I think you've done a great job of it. :)

    Passing right along...

  15. First Annual EQGirlsCon! //Closed Registered Guests only

    in Greater Equestria

    Posted

    iKfSVnA.png

    Whirligig has known for much of her life that she talked way too much. She couldn't help it - there were just so many thoughts rushing through her mind and so many words to be said! So many questions to be asked, too - the blue pegasus had always been bright and curious about the world, and the ponies around her. And someone a long time ago told her that the only stupid question was the one that went unasked. So Whirligig asked all of them. All at the same time.

    She was, however, conscious of this flaw of hers, and some days it weighed on her more heavily than others. Today she had mostly not even thought of it, until she was met with a very blank, and somewhat crooked stare from a certain grey mare. Immediately Whirligig noticed, and was self conscious of her mistake. In the awkward silence that followed, she exchanged a slighly nervous glance with a grey unicorn who was standing nearby, munching on bonbons from the cream-coloured pony's cart.

    [colour=#ffcc00]“My name’s Derpy Hooves! Nice to meet ya’.”[/colour] came the reply of the other pegasus at last. This time, making a conscious effort to slow her speech, Whirligig smiled warmly and replied [colour=#498995]"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Derpy Hooves."[/colour]

    Hmm. That didn't seem like quite enough words strung together for Whirligig's liking. She tried to think of the most important question of all the questions she'd asked the mare before, thinking maybe that they could have a reasonable and rational conversation if she could just slow it down a little. Beckoning for the violet-maned unicorn - her beautiful badge decorated with her cutie mark read 'Regal Steel' - what a lovely name! It made Whirligig think of finery and fanciful Canterlot living as well as of a durability and courage of a solid metal. Quite a good name, actually - the pegasus rather liked it - now where was she going with this? Oh, yes, she beckoned for Regal Steel to join their conversation, Whirligig started again.

    [colour=#498995]"So, I've just come from Cloudsdale. Where are you two from?"[/colour]

    Asking that simple question had been far more difficult than it needed to be.

    ​

    ---

    ADvu5ah.png

    [colour=#ff8c00]"Oh hello there Cherry! Nice to see you here too. Yeah, this event is really nice so far. It's amazing how many ponies are here. And thanks for the compliment on the cake. It's just a habit of mine really to bring a cake to a party. Wouldn't want anypony to go hungry you know. So how are things with you?"[/colour]

    Cherry Berry smiled. Carrot Top was always a voice of reason - a simple easygoing mare who was easy to talk to. [colour=#9B145B]"Eh, not too bad, ya know? I've been working in the garden this weekend and 've had plenty uh jammin' ta do, nothin' too-"[/colour]
    ​

    [colour=#8B4513]"Hello there! I'm Louise LaMare and this is my friend Tankena from Stalliongrad! It is a pleasure to meet you both!"[/colour]

    [colour=#008000]"Da! Great pleasure! Is that carrot cake? That is one of my favorites things to eat"[/colour]

    Chibsy groaned rather audibly. She had been trying to avoid the loud Stalliongradian mare. Tankena wasn't dancing now, but given time Cherry Berry wasn't sure what she was likely to do given what she'd noticed of the mare's behaviour thus far. Louise LaMare seemed reasonable enough, however, so maybe it wouldn't hurt her to give them a chance. Why had she come to this con if she didn't want to socialize with others?

    [colour=#9B145B]"Uh, I'm Cherry Berry,"[/colour] she said, then turned to the orange farm pony so that she could introduce herself.

    ​

    ---

    kZsPxMg.png

    Trains. You never could trust them silly things. Sometimes they ran right on schedule - other times when they said "delayed by ten minutes", they meant an hour. Or three hours. Or a full day altogether.

    N'aw, it was never really all that bad. Yeah, the Las Pegasus train was late leaving Las Pegasus, was late arrivin' in Dodge Junction, and as such Miss Jubilee was late to the marecon in Ponyville.

    Not that Equestria Girls Convention was her typical fare - Cherry Jubilee preferred rodeo competitions and country fairs to conventions where food was provided - generally speakin' they were better for business. It wasn't like she could sell her freshly baked goods here, when the flyer had made it clear that refreshments would be provided. All the same, Cherry Jubilee was in need of a holiday from Dodge Junction - she loved the small western country town, but certain cities contained some services and amenities that her usual rural lifestyle lacked. A weekend of socializin', gossipin' and bein' pampered sounded like a mighty fine idea to her! She'd heard of Ponyville from one or two of the workers she'd hired at Cherry Hill Ranch over the years and her initial reaction to the town was that it was simply delightful!

    She found Town Hall with little trouble, and after collecting her badge from the registration desk, and greetin' the mare behind it with a mighty enthusiastic "How de do?", she made her way into the ballroom to begin minglin' with the other guests. There didn't seem to be too many country folk mulling about - she saw barely a pony she recognized aside from Princesses Luna and Cadance, who appeared to be getting a fair bit of attention - t'was expected, o' course, but no need to dogpile that lot when there were plenty of other interestin' ponies to meet and greet.

    As she entered the main room, she could see that the party was already in full swing. Fashionably late, perhaps? It wasn't her usual style, but Miss Jubilee could certainly work with it. Her attention was soon captured when a loud and jubilant cry rang out from near one of the tables burdened with refreshments.

    ​

    [colour=#ff3399]"Mares of Equestria, listen! I, Harlequin Salad, aspiring master of cuisine have prepared for you today culinary delights beyond your imagination! Any mare who wishes to be introduced to flavours of which they have never before dreamed, step forth and obtain from me a free sample of my craft, guaranteed to make your palates cry out in blissful delight!"[/colour]

    Well, wasn't it just Miss Jubilee's lucky day! Bein' a rather excellent cook herself, she was always keen to expand her palette and delight in the delicacies prepared by other hooves. The pony calling out was an odd-looking one - her coat a splotchy two shades of brown and her mane a bright fuchsia. Also, she was tall and rather skinny. Cherry Jubilee recalled briefly the words of wisdom passed down to her from one of her aunts - "Never trust a skinny cook," but it was a fleeting thought that she didn't revisit, and with great enthusiasm the cherry farmer approached the pony performing her theatrics.

    [colour=#95313E]"Well hi there! Ah'm Cherry Jubilee. Ah must say, that was quite the song an' dance you jest performed there, sugar. Ah hear tell you have prepared an excellent dish. Now, ah'm not such a bad cook myself, but ah always love to ta taste what other enthusiasts have prepared. What did you put in this salad of yours, hun?"[/colour]

    ​

  16. Hello I am Cylicas!

    in Introductions

    Posted

    Hi Cylicas! Welcome to Canterlot! :)

    I joined FriendshipisMagic.org about a year ago, actually, but I was only active for a month or so, so you probably don't know me. :P It seemed like a decent enough site, but I've settled in here now and I sincerely hope you will too. :D

    Hope to see you in Canterchat and around the forums! ;)

  19. [Cloudsdale] Frenzied Factory Zone: Opening Assembly (Sign-up in OOC Thread)

    in Greater Equestria

    Posted

    iKfSVnA.png

    Whirligig sighed. There was fashionably late, and then there was her brother. He wasn’t scatterbrained so much as he was just disorganized. Case in point – he interrupted Luna’s speech, and he forgot to don a uniform before rushing into the factory. Idiot.

    So that was the first thing that annoyed Whirligig. The second thing was a few times worse. She listened attentively to the speech given by the army stallion that had somehow been put in charge of vaporization for the operation today. She very nearly groaned out loud as he began barking at them. He very rudely implied that none of them had any experience in vaporization before and that they wouldn’t be able to get this done, and treated the lot of them as if they were useless, weak children and not the mares and stallions that they were. Yes, it was going to be hard to get everything done on time, and yes, there weren’t nearly enough recruits here as there ought to have been, and yes, they very well may be doomed – but that was no motivational speech. Princess Luna had given a motivational speech. Colonel Pummel had given them an army drilling.

    Whirligig made a mental note to never, under any circumstances, join the army.

    She wanted Sugar Apple back in charge.

    Also, her headache was worsening and she couldn’t help but feel like she was forgetting something important. She made her way towards her station where she would be working with the others in charge of vaporization, and was displeased to see such a meagre gathering. As much as she hated to believe the words of the Colonel, she was starting to think he was right – they weren’t good enough and they would fail. Whirly herself surely wasn’t on top of her game today. She coughed loudly, pressing her hoof up to her mouth as she did. It was going to be a long day.

    But Cloudsdale needed her. The weather factory needed her. So she plastered a smile on her face and turned towards the Vaporization department, still lacking the usual spring in her step.

    ​

  20. Moon Walker [Ready]

    in Original Characters

    Posted

    All looks good to me - you've done a great job of taking Tacobob's concept and making it into your own character. :) I see nothing overly objectionable here. ;)

    Just a side note. Fire Walker and Wind Walker are my characters, and I give full permission for this OC to be part of the family! :)<3

    Just to clarify, are you also okay with having Tawny as a nephew for the two of them?

  22. [Diamond Dog] Griff [Ready]

    in Original Characters

    Posted

    It is a bit short, but I feel it covers all the basics. :) Diamond Dogs are tricky because there isn't any board approved lore for them, all we have to go on is the show.

    That being said, I really like this character, and I look forward to seeing him in action! :) Sending up the food chain for approval. ;)

  25. TempestSwift[Final]

    in Original Characters

    Posted

    Hiya Gigabit! I'm Jane, and I shall be the RPH helping you out with your application! :)

    This looks like a great character so far - I've always had a soft spot for weather ponies myself, so let's get to seeing what we can do about getting Tempest Swift ready to fly in WoE, shall we?

    Age:Stallion just turned.

    I think you're looking for 'Young Stallion' here. The phrasing of 'just turned' is a bit awkward.

    Physique:He is an average size pony just a bit bigger than a pony like RainbowDash. Not really muscular but not scrawny either.

    Could you please remove the comparison to Rainbow Dash? We like to see that our players know how to describe their characters on their own merit, without making comparisons to characters from the show. :)

    Could you also try to explore some of the other aspects of his life and interests? At this point all I see from Tempest is that he loves the weather. Does he have some other interests, quirks or personality traits that help define him?

    Also, please don't be afraid to include information about your OCs parents - an application is sort of like a biography for a character, so knowing who his parents are might help you, and others, to get a slightly better grasp of who he is. However, you probably won't ever need to use them in the RP (how many times have we seen Twilight's parents/have they played a major role in the show?) if that's the reason you're holding back on describing them - nine times out of ten, the parents never really come up in RP at all. The same goes for siblings and foalhood friends. :)

    I know you've got them grouped together, but I really think it would help with the organization of ideas if you separated the history and character summary. The history is about your OC's experiences, while the character summary is about your OC's personality so they don't really need to be merged into one topic.

    You're off to a great start! Let me know when you've made these changes and I'll give it another read through. :)

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