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flutterscotch

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Posts posted by flutterscotch

  2. well i blame tenkan

    in Introductions

    Posted

    Hmmm... Judging by the two previous posts... *note to self babysitting intro section is a good way to boost post total

    Hhahah no, I have just been around awhile, and am a part of the Roleplay helpstaff. So's Armony. If you have any RP questions, you can let us, or any member of the team know!

    I do try to greet new members though. :)

  9. MorningDawn ( Ready )

    in Original Characters

    Posted

    Ok!

    So I copied your application as it stands right now and made some comments and questions in red, and then added an overall analysis below that.

    Roleplay Type:World of Equestria

    Name:MorningDawn

    Sex: Male

    Age: Young Stallion

    Species:Pegasus

    Eye colour: Brown

    Coat colour: Light Brown

    Mane/Tail/Markings colour & Style:Both mane and tail are Dark Brown with a tinge of red around the edges

    Physique: Short

    [colour=#ff0000]So far, so good![/colour]

    Cutie Mark: Mining Symbol

    [colour=#ff0000]Please elaborate this. As I said before, I see a crossed hammers in your profile pic, but there are a lot of different mining symbols.[/colour]

    Origin/Residence:Manehattan

    Occupation:Messenger pony/ Coal Miner [colour=#ff0000]It sounds like, according to his history, that would only be interested in being GOLD miner. I think it is safe to say just a messenger pony at this point.[/colour]

    Motivation:He wishes to fall in love [colour=#ff0000]Why is this his main motivation? What will he do when he achieves this motivation? Surely he has other goals in live than just falling in love. Does he want to be a great miner?[/colour]

    History:[colour=#ff0000](<--You need to add this field to your application)[/colour] As a colt MorningDawn was drawn toward many things. He had a curiosity about the guards that work to protect the Princess, eventually he wanted to become a guard. His main plan was to join the guards, but he was curious about other jobs, too! In an attempt to get his cutie mark, he read hundreds of books on hundreds of occupations and jobs. He read a book about farming, so he gave it a try and left the plants to find them dead the next day. [colour=#ff0000]Those poor plants! :) [/colour] He knew he didn't want to try that again, so he kept reading books. After 5 volumes of encyclopedias, he gave up. He tossed a book to the ground finding a page spilling its contents to him. As usual he was curious, so he read about the page. It had to do with mining, minerals, and what kept Morning's wealthy family's fireplace going, coal! He wasn't really interested in that black rock, so he kept reading on about what kinds of materials you might find while mining. The materials all had scientific names that Morning had to read over 5 or 6 times before he got the word. He kept reading on and found the one material that his family actually was very fond of, gold!

    [colour=#FF0000]Make this a new paragraph. [/colour]He read more and more about the caves, how the cave systems might have water ways, or tunnels. He even read that creatures live in those caves! Finally, Morning couldn't take it! He ran outside with a lantern in his pouch and ran over to the ground. He started hacking at it, more and more, twice the power. It was his first time so he tired out quickly and found the idea was now silly. You can't find dark, deep, adventurous, thrilling caves just by hacking at the ground! That is just silly, so Morning stopped and walked into the house. He found a map his Great Grandfather kept during his prospecting ages, but now he sits in a chair and sleeps all day. He read the map over and found a small cave system nearby. He talked with his parents about it and they agreed. As long as Morning had gear.

    [colour=#FF0000]Make this a new paragraph. [/colour]In the morning he ran over to the small cave and walked into the darkness. Eventually he lit his lantern and found some of those materials in that book, the scientific kinds. He gave a try at it and got the hang of it. Soon he was carrying full pouches of various rocks and materials. He lugged himself to home and took off the pouches. His Great Grandfather came and yelled in excitement, but then he said something, " Look! MorningDawn! You got your cutie mark!" Morning looked at his flank and Ta Da! His cutie mark appeared! [colour=#ff0000](so this is his special talent, but how does this help him in the Royal Guard?)[/colour]

    [colour=#FF0000]Make this a new paragraph. [/colour]He loved the fact that he could mine now, but his parents don't let him go often. Then he turned to his idea of becoming a guard. He tried multiple times to convince his parents, but they simply did not approve. In anger he ran away to a place that his parents would probably not find him, his basement. He spent hours sitting in the basement thinking about how he would get to the guards.

    [colour=#FF0000]Make this a new paragraph. He[/colour] found a bookcase in the basement, hopefully he could find his answers there. He read hours on a book that really had nothing to do with the subject on matter. He was intrigued by the book so he kept reading on. When he finished, he walked out of his basement and apologized to his parents. They were sorry as well and accepted his apology. [colour=#ff0000](What answers did he find, or what made him decide to apologize to his parents?)[/colour] His parents granted him the right to go into the guards, but MorningDawn was to serve only by delivering letters. He was excited and went to bed early that night. He woke up in the morning to find his parents downstairs eating in the kitchen. They told him that he was going to be trained by a Sargent that works to protect Princess Celestia.

    [colour=#FF0000]Make this a new paragraph. [/colour]The first couple of days it was rough and he took some emotional damage, but whenever he pulled out the book his parents told him to keep, he was cheered up. On the boot camp he was trained to fly, he was trained to be the best. He wasn't forced to by the leaders, but he wanted to be the best. When he graduated from the camp he earned the title " Private Messenger Pony MorningDawn". He was glad to finally have a job and wanted to start work right away. The day after graduation he was sent on a delivery mission. He did as he was told, not to look at the boxes inside. He was curious to what was in it though. He made it to the town he was delivering to and dropped the box off, but before he did that he looked at the note on the box. It was for him and it said : Stick around town, you will be needing to get more packages. The note was anonymous and he had no clue who wrote it, but orders are orders. Currently he sits outside wondering who's packages he would have to deliver.

    [colour=#FF0000]Make this a new paragraph. [/colour]He pulls out the book his parents gave him. [colour=#ff0000](When did his parents give this book to him? Was it a graduation present? Was it a hint from his parents that they wanted grandfoals? :D) [/colour]He reads it and already knows the ending. The stallion and the mare kiss, they get married, they get a nice house, they have kids, they are friends with everypony and they die a happy life. He too, wants to fall in love. It seems skeptical for a young colt to fall in love, but its his choice now is it. [colour=#ff0000](I do not think he is a young colt anymore, so can you change this, please? it doesn't seem too out of line that a young stallion would want to find true love.)[/colour]

    Character Summary: MorningDawn is a young excited young stallion ready to explore the world, that is if he had permission to. He has a stubborn attitude, but can follow orders or commands. He is a curious young fellow who, at times, explores everything and anything he can. His motivation is to fall in love, so he travels from town to town meeting new mares. [colour=#ff0000](Does he do this while he is delivering packages for the royal guard?)[/colour] He is a Young Stallion waiting for change, and it comes at any moment. [colour=#ff0000]Can you tell us a little more about him here? Please tell us more about what he likes and doesn't like. At this point we do not even know what kind of Mare he could fall in love WITH. [/colour]

    [colour=#ff0000]He seems very easily willing to believe whatever he reads in books. Will that cause him trouble later in life?[/colour]

    [colour=#FF0000]Does he have any hobbies or quirks?[/colour]

    I think the issues you are having with this application is that you might be trying to do too much with one character for your very first character. If you want a miner pony, you should just stick with that, and make another character who is a messenger later on. If you want a guard/messenger pony, you should go that route and change the cutie mark and corresponding story. I think that will help with his twisted history a little bit, because If I knew your pony in real life I would keep asking him why, if his special talent is mining, is he in the Royal Guard.

    Whichever you choose, either of them can want to fall in love, but I really don't think that should be a primary motivation. Almost everyone wants to find someone to love, and they don't need to read from a book to feel that.

  11. Nivial [READY]

    in Original Characters

    Posted

    Hello Clair!

    A few little things. Can you clarify this: [colour=#0000CD]The cage represents her possessive nature of her friends.[/colour][colour=#282828] You mean that she is very possessive of her friends and not that she feels caged by the possessive nature in which they treat her, right? I know it is clarified later in her history but you might want to reword that because upon first read it sets up a distinctly differnt impression :)[/colour]

    [colour=#282828]You also might want to leave out the bits about physically fighting. While I am sure it'll happen here or there, I am not sure it should be something so important to her character that it needs to be mentioned in what is essentially her bio! Saying she can be very brave and heroic when her friends, family and those weaker than her, despite her regular timidity would tell us that .[/colour]

    [colour=#282828]i feel like we have a strong grasp on her extra curricular activities, but not what she gets out of them. Can you expand a little on why she does take on so many hobbies, and what they mean to her a little bit ? [/colour]

    [colour=#282828]I just feel that overall your cutie mark story is fantastic, and because it's there for comparison, the history and character summary just need a little more oomph. :D[/colour]

  12. Pierrot (Ready!)

    in Original Characters

    Posted

    I get the impression that Pierrot was rather groomed by his family to be an illusionist, and he ended up spectacular at pantomime. :) Illusion magic is supposed to be fairly difficult though, and his special talent is definitely a complex mixture of making people laugh and masking his own feelings, not necessarily illusion magic, which is a dicey subject within board canon as it is.

    HOWEVER, I am 100% OK if his "illusion magic" is really just regular lifting things in a fine tuned manner. If the magic users in the troupe just as a family secret perfected the art of ethereally manipulating a particulate matter like glitter? The audience wouldn't know the difference...plus it'd be SPARKLIERER! It would be great if he could hone his skills one day to actually form words above his head!

    Prench-Itailian Hmm. Prance hasn't been officially incorporated into the map. I get it, I get that the accent definitely exists in-universe, but I am trying to think of what you can call it without referencing a place that technically doesn't exist! :wail:

    Also, is he left in care of both his aunt the bearded lady, and his aunt the illusionist?

    Other than that he is fantastic and well thought out. I want to snuggle his little face <3

    • Like 1

  14. Fine Print [READY]

    in Original Characters

    Posted

    Hiya Flamedrago!

    You've got a pretty great character here that is very close to approval, i just have a handful of questions about him that if you can clarify he should be approved shortly.

    First is that I am going to have to ask you to cut the part about dropping out of school. It doesn't change much about the character, but since we're an all ages forum, and we have a lot of impressionable kids, we don't really want to cast it in that much of a positive light, even though it might be the best choice for people in real life. Just squeaking by is fine though, and leaving home the second he graduated without a really great plan other than winging it at being an author while having a day job is great. It shows us that unless he is working on mystery novels, he is totally squandering his potential.

    I like that he is a product of the well-to-do, and decided to do his own thing without their help. In regards to his house, I just have a question I personally am curious. Did he have any money from his parents that went towards the purchasing of the house? It seems like on his salary he might be more of an apartment-dweller, but you can clarify there.

    I definitely like that "Hundreds of copies" is a huge hit in Equestria though! That brings it down to a good level of successful enough, but not too successful that your character is immediately famous.

    Just those two little things though, and you should be good to go!

  18. New Official Friendship is Magic Comic Series

    in Friendship is Magic Series

    Posted

    2.jpg

    Wheee.

    Also, I half-flanked stitching the covers sans title together because why not?

    8252384425_3857ac436e_c.jpg

    Some interviews:

    a wonderful interview from Comic Geek Speak

    [colour=#000000]The creative team behind My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic #1, writer Katie Cook and artist Andy Price, join us in this episode.We discuss the public's (occasionally extreme) reaction to the book, getting kids into comics, the perils and pitfalls of Disneyland and more. (1:13:15)[/colour]

    And an interview with Katie Cook @ redheaded Mule

    [colour=#000000]I hate to day it, but upon my 3rd time reading it, I might actually enjoy it more than the show.[/colour]

  20. Contact sports?

    in Roleplay Q&A

    Posted

    We definitely have approved Strongmen-type characters. Lifting weights for fun and profit = A-OK! Goofy feats of strength? also OK. A striped singlet and handlebar mustache? Yup! Maybe not fight allcomers, but I would be ok with hoof-wrestling as his thing he does at carnivals (Insurance would be cheaper too!), and it's such a little thing that it wouldn't change a character like that too much at all.

    Also, as a suggestion, Hoofington DOES have a boardwalk, that one of my characters runs. Just sayin' ;)

  25. [Tier - 3] Curio [Ready]

    in Friendship is Magic Cast

    Posted

    Hiya Sturmmmmmmaaan!

    Can you please change your tag from Earth Pony to FIM Cast. Your instincts about leaving the Alicorn Amulet out of the application though, serve you well, it's not that important to who the character is, nor at this point would you be able to use it in RP since we watched you sell it to Trixie!

    If this comes for vote because we have more than one application, alas, I am now ineligible, but them's the breaks :)

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