ping111

At last, at long last! The stallion in front of her's lengthy conversation with the purveyor of the velveteen ambrosia that was an apple to a hypoglycaemiac has come at long last to an end! Finally, the seemingly limitless fountain of fluster that was this wretched blob of titanic tangerine-toned tan (well, that's what his hide would be if he'd stood between Maple and her prize a moment longer) had stumbled off, no doubt to cause great distress to greatly hungry ponies elsewhere.

It was with Maple's first heroic step in her grand approach to the stand that, as soon as her forward hoof had disconnected from terra firma, that the shaking came again. The carrots were a flimsy barricade against this pure Prench Revolution of agonizing ravenousness and unending vibrato sufficient to make a tectonic plate blush.

It was with Maple's second heroic step in her grand approach to the stand that, as soon as her forward hoof had reconnected with terra firma, that the shaking ended.

Rinse and repeat, yada yada, until she reached the stand. By then, however, all four hooves had been cruelly forced away from the motherly earth and sprung skyward, and then come down again.

But, the shaking would not last long against the sweet sweet fructose content of an apple and her digestive system's uncanny ability to derive fructose into glucose. Or something like that.

Her acquisition of the fruit would be concise, precise, and require minimal exercise, lest the shaking begin again.

Her plan was all there.

It was simple.

It was beautiful.

It was 'Excuse me, but I'm so very hungry. May I please have one of my apples, of which I plan to buy one or more bushels, so that I may concentrate more completely? I have hypoglycaemia, you see. Of course, you have my word that I shall pay in full once the transaction is complete.'

Deep breath.

You got this.

It was with Maple's first heroic jaw-opening in her grand request for an apple after approaching the stand that the stupid began.

~

"K-ken y-ye... jist lem'hivn ipl nao...?"

~

'Haha, nope.' Said Maple's mind. 'Idiot.'

Slam. Went Maple's body's hoof on the table. She didn't mean for it to happen, but mass plus gravity equals velocity. Or something.

"S-s-sorrrry. Ap-p-pp-le, p-lea-lea-se?"

Point. Went Maple's body's wibbly-wobbly hoof at an apple. Want.

'Let's give this another go, shall we?'

"I... need an... apple... please."

'Better.'

And indeed, better it was. Congratulations, Maple Abell Blossom! You just expressed your desires through oral communication! Brava, brava!

Now, how 'bout that apple?

Why, that is up to the merchant.

At last, at last, at long last... you can eat.

Embarrassing though the situation was, this pony, whom Maple had only passed from afar on market days, seemed nice enough, and hopefully she could forget about this awkward episode.

"Yeah, you were fast asleep there. Not to worry. I have to say that was the first time somepony called me their mom, but it probably won't be the last either."

"Aww, that's sweet! See a foal in your future? Just consider me parenting training! Heh!"

For a brief moment, the mare wondered why her conversant was looking at her all funny again, seeing how she had looked so sweet and sincere only moments before. Then it hit her -- or rather, it started very lightly tapping her in the back of her neck. When she had reached a hoof around to scratch her auburn-and-rose mane, that pearly hoof started to shake, no longer being anchored by the ground. Although passing out again was only a marginal threat, her quick nap didn't quite cure her unending, all-consuming hunger. Seemingly reading Maple's mind (or at least, her body language), the cream-ish mare produced a small bag.

"Well I do have these..."

The moment she unveiled the sac's contents, Maple's eyes went unnaturally wide. The little orange rods could well have been gold nuggets; even if they were, they still would have been devoured.

"They're baby carrots and are really sweet. I carry some with me to munch on. I know you're going to be getting some apples soon, but maybe this will help you feel less tired."

"Don't mind if I do! Thank you so much for this!"

After fumbling for a few moments with the cursed rim of the little bag (stupid shaky hooves), she finally managed to scrounge up a decent haul of mini carrots, which, without further ado, were popped into her mouth with considerable force.

The moment the non-air, non-spit thing touched her tongue, her stomach instantly stopped rampaging inside her, eagerly awaiting nourishment. In a split-second, she felt worlds better, and had crossed the line between "near-death of starvation" to "considerably hungry, but able to hold out for a little while longer".

"Than's, agin," Maple said between bites. She knew it was rude, but she was so elated to have eaten again, it didn't matter much to her.

"Oh, and my name is Carrot Top by the way. What's your name?"

After a short pause to chew and finally swallow the carrots with a gulp:

"Hi, Carrot Top! Nice to meet you. I think I've actually seen you a couple times, but probably only out at market or something," Maple held out a hoof, which would shake with or without the orange-maned Carrot Top's help. "My name's Maple Blossom, but please, just call me Maple. What's you- oop, already said that. Hee hee!"

Not quite in the right head just yet!

Another stallion, who Maple swore smelt of burnt kerosene and grass, went up to Carrot Top and started chatting her up, so she politely faced forward. Perhaps the wait in line wouldn't be too bad, after all.

Almost every game I have ever played. I have severe game commitment issues, so whenever I come off a binge of playing one particular game and then try to come back to it, I feel like I've lost the 'mindset' necessary to play, and so I throw out all the progress. I've got to sit down sometime and just beat all of my (beatable) games in a row.

We sincerely apologize for the disruption this 'incident' has incurred. Rest assured that the previous Narrator has been apprehended and is currently undergoing rehabilitative treatment. In the meantime, a new, certified Narrator shall be taking his place.

Best regards,

-The Fourth Wall Police Corps; Narration Department

swush swush swush swush swush swush sAwCuKs!h!UsNwEuEsMhAsLw!ushSwushSWushSWUshSWUShSWUSH!

"EVERY PONY FER THEMSELVES!"

The vividness of Maple's dreams, which apparently included some propeller-bearing object spinning out of control and a panicky Southerner, would rival that of a child's with a five-alarm fever. All of a sudden, as wild dreams are wont to do, the situation suddenly snapped to something much more familiar, but the sleepy mare still didn't quite feel like the strong, independent pony she was today. In fact, her hooves only made it halfway down the sheets…

Crazy as the situations were, all the stimuli that went along with them felt so real, almost as if they were really happening. This trippy thought almost when over the top when Samara reached out to feel the filly's sweaty forehead, but suddenly grew another, yellow hoof and jabbed her in the side.

Almost instantly, the walls of the log cabin suddenly started to shake and disjoint from one another, as if they were subject to a paradigm shift or an all-directions earthquake, and began to flicker in and out of opacity several times a second. While trying to take this all in, all of a sudden, Maple felt her left ear - and only her left ear - join the walls in a synchronized flashdance, and a low-pitched buzzing caused the very same furry appendage to flick up and down while popping off of her head, before bomb-diving her brain again and then everything just started to fade to pure white and Mommy opened her mouth and said-

*pop*

Like air rushing into the vacuum of an airlock, the reality of reality flooded Maple's dream-oriented senses in an instant, and forced the now-mare to take a little jump of surprise and suck in a lungful of air.

"..nice nap, but you need to wake up now."

Wheeling her neck around as she stretched her achy shoulders, which had to support the dead weight of her head, Ms. Blossom found the source of the voice which had startled her…

…and the quickly-lengthening line behind said source.

Looking forward once more, Maple also noticed the large gap in front of her, into which she had failed to advance. Also, maybe there was still a morsel or two of dream-chemicals in her eyes, but was that… Princess Sparkle? A double-take, including several blinks and a brisk shake of the head, confirmed that that was, indeed, the very same alicorn passing her by, a bushel of apples in her company! Well, that certainly woke her up right quick, as she tried not to look too stupidly tired in her presence.

As she embarrassedly shuffled forward to close the gap and continue the flow of the line, she turned back to her not-so-rude awakener and said:

"So, I really was dead to the world there, eh? And by the way you're looking at me, I probably said something stupid while I was sleeping, didn't I? Oh no, no, don't tell me–" Maple raised her front hoof in thought and made a clicking sound with her tongue for a few moments – "I thought you were… my mother! Yes, that's it. Anyways, sorry 'bout that…"

A gaping yawn, and a rather childlike scratch of a flank with its respective hind hoof.

Yeah, again, sorry. I'm hypoglycaemic, you see, and I forgot to pack myself any lunch. At any rate, I feel better now… Also, is that the Princess passing us by? Let's hope she didn't see me, heh!

I'm certainly interested! I have a fair deal of experience with DnD, but unfortunately, I've never played this before.

Hi there!

Could you please make me a cutie mark, that is a sparkler shooting off multi-coloured firework shells? So, essentially, it's a firework explosion shaped like a sparkler. Thanks so much!

I'm in! I've always wanted to be in a game of Whose Line!

...hi there...

Maple Abell Blossom was in a very strange place. And I'm not talking about Ponyville, no matter how many oddities have happened in the normally sleepy little town in recent years. This was a wonderfully wistful, wackily waxing, waning, and waffling in terms of weightiness, juxtaposed place. This was the realm of -

"Wait, did you say waffles!?"

No, Maple's hunger-flooded mind, I did not say that. And please, stay out of my narrations. If you haven't noticed, right now you're supposed to be shaking like a leaf as hypoglycaemia slowly infiltrates your every muscle and sabotages their integrity. How the hay did you even get in h-

"HAY!?!?"

*Sigh* Sure, Maple. Yes, I have hay. No, wait, no I don't! I don't have any hay! I lied, I'm sorry! Please stop running so fast! And put your tongue back in your mouth! No, no, no, no, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGH-

...

...

...

*snore*

...

*snoore*

..•

*snooore*

..Unh...?

*SNOOOOORE*

... Oh no! Stay away from me... Oh, thank sweet Celestia above. That's the real-world Maple's snoring. Yikes.

She looks awfully cute when she's asleep, doesn't she? Rhythmically swaying where she stands; a perfect little strand of drool glistening in the corner of her mouth; her tongue poking out just so... Murmuring "apple" under her breath like a little foal... wouldn't it just be a shame to have this little morsel of adorableness come to an untimely demise?

It would be easy, really; seeing how our little friend here has made it blatantly clear that our two dimensions aren't so separate after all, who's to say I couldn't interact with her as she has done with me? I think she deserves a bit of a rude awakening, don't you? Perhaps a little 'flick' in the ear, not knowing from where, could do the trick. Or, just maybe, a well-timed 'boo' could kick her rear into gear! Hmm, so many choices, and such riches aplenty~

*knock knock*

...Oh no.

"Fourth Wall Police! We have a warrant; open up!"

*sigh* Seriously? There are no doors in this dimension!

"...Oh yeah! We still have a warrant, though!"

Yes, yes, come in.

"You're under arrest for-"

I know, I know; "violating our code of secrecy" and "conspiring to cause interdimensional mischief". Not everyone just signs Narration contracts without reading them. Just book me and spare me the yakfest.

"Umm, well, okay."

Can I just tell the viewer one last thing?

"Fine, but make it quick."

Alright, folks, this is how this post was supposed to end:

---

This was the realm of being able to note the movement of individual blades of grass in a field, and hear every bird in the symphony of woodland life's individual contribution to the cacophonous harmony, but have such information simply glide through her brain like hot oil on glass. This blissful ignorance also applied to the fact that she was soundly asleep and snoring loudly, but, more thankfully, to the unrelenting crumpling feeling sucking in her belly like a whirlpool.

"Hi there!"

"Mommy...?" Maple didn't even need to bother opening her eyes; the reality was clear. She was five years old, tightly tucked into her soft bed in her Whitetail Woods home.

Guess you're craving apples too. I'm Carrot top. What's your name?"

And that, too, was obvious. Her mother, whose name was Samara, was speaking in her soft voice, and was asking if she wanted some apples and carrots to eat. And my, my, was this little filly hungry.

"Yes, mommy, I would very much like apples and carrots, please."

---

"That's it?"

Yup, that's how this post was supposed to end all those line breaks ago.

"Wow, you really got sidetracked."

Come back and call me a criminal when you've been knocked out by a rabid horse.

"No, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the author."

...You have got to be kidding me.

creak creak creak

Went the axles on wheels on the cart.

I should probably get those oiled up again soon

jingle jingle jingle

Went the bits in the bag on the yoke on the horse.

I sure am thinking funny I wonder why

rumble rumble rumble

Went the stomach of the horse with the yoke with the bag with the bits and the jingle jingle jingle and the cart with the wheels and the axles and the creak creak creak rolling down the roads of Ponyville.

"Oh, that's why.

For one glorious moment, all was clear in Maple's mind: she was hungry, so very hungry, so hungry that it was messing up her thoughts.

And for another, equally glorious moment, the solution was clear: She was to get food, so much food, such food that would clear her mind.

And for a third, perhaps slightly less glorious moment, the only food that would remedy such a conundrum rose forth from the misty hordes of the plethora of foods was clear in Maple's very hungry and food-desiring mind:

"I really want an apple."

Without a moment's thought, Maple's hooves brought Maple, her cart full of maple syrup and cash registers, and her bag full of bits to Sweet Apple Acres. Just before entering the wrought-iron gates, with the embellishments all bowing before the almighty iron apple, she just barely noticed a little flyer. Stopping for only a moment, she scanned it, but, figuring it didn't say "Free apples for any pony named Maple Abell Blossom", simply continued down the road, lugging her cart and her bits down the earthen path of the Acres.

Seeing other ponies lined up, she silently drifted close to the end of the line (which, praise Celestia, wasn't all too long), unlimbered her cart from her yoke with a quick gesture of the hoof, and kept it at that. She'd only speak if spoken to; her energy must be conserved, and could not be spent on such frivolities, but survival. Maple had learned that lesson all those years ago. But let bygones be bygones; for now, only one thing mattered, only one thing was the relevant truth:

"I really want an apple."

Is this still open? If so, Maple will join soon.

Starting tomorrow, I have an immensely packed summer ahead of me, and as such will very rarely have time to fire off even a post or two. All of you (especially a certain lot of you~) will be in my heart always during my summer. See you in September~

Starting Monday, I will be unavailable until Friday or so. I have a field trip~

The French word for aubergine.

Can anyone guess?

Anyone know the Hungarian?

When will this thread finally retire at the ripe old age of As Soon as Possible!?

If you want to upload an image, you must first upload it to an image hosting site, like Tinypic or Dropbox, then sandwich the link into [img ] [/ img]complex</strike> Special BBCode", which is right of the eraser in the top right corner of this box.

Cheers!

~ping111

EDIT: Umm, what just happened? All of my BBcode became broken HTML syntax I'm kind of confused...

I plan to buy it later today. Looks like a very interesting game, and I love seeing how fast I can memories long strings of macros like these.

EDIT: Just bought it. Gonna let it download while I go out, and play it once I come back and do my homework!

EDIT: Nevermind yet again. It's already downloaded. Ohhh, now to untempt myself before I finish my homewoooooooork!

Hi.

I'm on EDT too, and I can do any weekday from 5-8 or so (assuming I don't have much homework), or any weekend, any time.

If it helps for you to find out, I'm EST -5, and it's 8:30 (37) right now.

[colour=#ff6666]"Hello Ms. Maple,"[/colour] [colour=#ff6666]"I don't know much about canoes, but I'm looking forward to learning from you and the other teachers!"[/colour]

[colour=#ff0000]Hi there! That's okay - learning to canoe is a snap, and oh filly will you have fun doing it![/colour]

The marine realm in which Steven Magnet dwelled was oft a lonely one. To be totally honest, he didn't look forward to swimming alone at night. Not only would the other ponies be inside, warm and comfortable, and telling stories and jokes of which the serpent couldn't be part, but when they fell asleep, who would be there to protect him, should disaster strike? Sure, even the reptilian knew he had a special proficiency for hollering, but the thought was still scary.

Also, Steven continued to patiently wait for an answer from Zecora, regarding his question about Zebra-ish, and if the zebra could give him a hoof in learning it.

http://inception.davepedu.com

I emailed the link to a friend

I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do, or to whom I'm supposed to PM my line...

Err, didn't I sign up in the other thread?

Anyways, I'm in for line. WHATAW!!!

Steven Magnet could hardly contain his excitement now! He was finally in the water again, and he had a good feeling he wouldn't not be swishing his tail in the abyss of freedom for a good little while. By the way, his temporary legs dissolved as soon as he touched the water again, and it felt totally natural to have them off. The boat that the landlubbers were using looked fairly sturdy, as well as downright pretty, and Steven suddenly wished he had a camera to snap a photo of Zecora's mane blowing in the wind. Of course, that issue didn't apply to Steven, who uses unimaginable amounts of hair gel.

The sea serpent wondered if there was something interesting on the other side of the view-blocking boat, so he attempted to slink around it, only for a moment, to check.

Out of the corner of his eye, though, Steven noticed a stripey arc of motion.

"Swim close my friend do not stray! In my sight I wish you to stay!"

Oh, alright. He could see it later.

[colour=purple]"Oops! Sorry, Zecora, darling!"[/colour]

“It will be so fun you will see!"

Oh, yes it will be...

"A journey with all of you and me!"

Can't wait! It'll be sensational!

"How many of you can understand the native Tongue of Unyasi? By the time we get there it might be quite handy!”

...Oh.

[colour=purple]"Don't worry, Zecora!"[/colour] The reptilian hollered, while rather painfully craning his neck to search for the target of his remark, [colour=purple]"Equestrian's actually my second language, and nopony can even notice an accent! I'm a fast learner, so maybe you could teach me?"[/colour]

Okay, so in that case just go to the Store on your PC and pick out a game that you like that just happens to be $20 or less.

A game I highly recommend is Kerbal Space Program. I'm not one to preach, but essentially it's a sandbox game in which you built rockets or planes and then get to fly them.

If you can't find any games under $20, I'm sorry, but the capitalist machine has gotten to you. I've bought indie games for $2.50, and I couldn't put them down.

First, what OS are you using? PC opens the market up all the way, Mac is getting there, and Linux is just getting started.

Second, what kind of games do you like? Puzzles, FPS, Strategy? Docile/Sterile or violent? Games with a gratifying ending, or an infinitely-replayable story? If we know your interests, we can find a game much easier.

A game with which you can never go wrong is Civilization 5/V. It's a strategy game where you build famous civilizations from the ground up, and all the war and peace gives it infinite replayability.

Cheers!

~ping111