Mojo

This is much better! You did indeed make the recommended changes. Although your app is rather brief in a number of places, there's enough in it to cover all the basics, for a Diamond Dog app. Normally in an app, we require a specific choice of Residence but since this is a Diamond Dog (not known to live in or near pony cities) what you wrote in that field fits him perfectly. Good job!

Fillies and Gentlecolts, to celebrate the fact that I am now the WOE RPer of both Flim and Flam, I want to start up a new RP where the brothers visit Ponyville with a brand new product to sell. Will the brothers be able to convince the ponies of the town to give them one more chance? What I am asking is, how many of you would like to have their characters in this RP? Whether you want your characters to heckle, harass or have an open mind to try their new product, all would be welcome to see where this RP would go! If there's anyone interested, please post here. This could be a lot of fun!

Roleplay Type: Mane RP

Name: Flim

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion

Species: Unicorn

Eye Colour: Green

Coat: Tan

Mane/Tail: Red mane and tail with white striping

Physique: Lanky, tall and skinny

Residence: Fillydelphia

Occupation: Business Colt/Con Artist

Cutie Mark: A quarter slice of a Red apple. Flim was very competitive in his foals years, even with his own brother. One day, when his brother was home sick, Flim worked his charm in the schoolyard, peddling hoofmade apple shaped quill holders. Of course, unknown to his classmates, Flim had chafted each one from real discarded apples he managed to sneak from the trash and painted to look like they were carved from wood. When his classmates discovered this, they all threw their now rotting apple shaped quill holders at Flim, pelting the young enterprising colt so intensely he galloped all the way home crying. When he told his parents and his still ill brother what had happened, they gave him a great idea to benefit from his new found unpopularity. The next morning, when Flim returned to school, his angry cheated classmates were there waiting for him with more rotten apples. But the lanky unicorn colt had a brand new product to offer them: Dart boards with his own photo in the center of them! When Flim convinced his classmates (with the best sales pitch of his young life) that these wooden backed dart boards would be perfect for rotten apple target practice, he sold out of them within a matter of minutes! Though he was still unpopular with his classmates for a time afterwards, at least Flim had discovered a way to profit from the situation. As he sold the last one, to his own teacher, a flash of light appeared behind him. It was then that the unicorn colt discovered he had earned his cutie mark. Since it was apple related, Flim now realized his destiny would be somehow connected with apples.

History: Flim, with his twin brother Flam, was born into a business-oriented family where their parents, Easy Street and Shell Game, passed on their somewhat shady knowledge of business to them. Although his brother was more mechanically inclined, Flim was superior to his sibling in regards to creativity. During their early foal years, Flim was very competitive with his brother, each trying to out perform the other when it came to swindling his classmates and sometimes, even adult ponies. As the twin brothers grew up, they realized that they could do a better job at deal making and profiteering by working together. Besides, since his brother's cutie mark seemed related to his own, Flim reasoned that it was their destiny to cooperate to 'make their fortune' in Equestria. So when the two brothers were old enough to strike out on their own, they did so together. It was Flim who came up with the idea for the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 while his brother drew up the blueprints for it. After many weeks of hard work and trial-and-error testing, their new creation was ready to present to the world! Their first stop was Ponyville, where the brothers had a very stressful as well as unsuccessful encounter with the Apple Family. In the end, it was Flam's idea to shut off the Quality Control monitor of the SSCS6k that produced the inferior apple cider their potential Ponyville customers rejected flatly. Accepting their defeat, at Flim's suggestion, they drove their wheeled machine to the next town. However, it seemed that the duo's nack for underhooved tatics and 'short cuts' in quality worked against them with each subsequent town they visited. Flim has never lost his desire to make a 'fast Bit,' a philosophy his twin brother shares equally.

Character Summary:

Flim usually appears in public as a charming, dazzling gentlecolt who can carry a tune surprisingly well. The dapper lanky unicorn is a master of giving convincing speeches, a skill he often uses when trying to sell his wares. It is said that Flim could sell snowshoes to desert ponies and ice cubes in the frigid northern regions of Equestria. In reality, Flim is a very cunning, devious stallion who'd sell his own mother if it would make him a large enough profit. He is very ruthless when it comes to business, as he and his brother demonstrated during the infamous Sweet Apple Acres incident. Flim loves only one thing more than money, and that's MORE money! Greed is his number one motive in all that he does, says and plans. Of the two Flim-Flam brothers, Flim is definitely the 'spokespony' of the outfit, leaving his brother with most of the mechanical work. Flim can be very nice to other ponies, until he gets what he wants (usually their money). He dreams of making one 'big score' that will earn him enough bits to live comfortably for the rest of his life. The only true friend he has in life is his brother Flam. Any other friendships he manages to make are very temporary, especially when those friends discover Flim's true motives.

(ooc): Oops! I let this one get away from me, sorry folks

Now that things have calmed down considerably, many were now watching the birthday filly, AppleBloom, open all her gifts.

"I hope ya like mine, deary," Granny Smith said, the brightly wrapped package near AppleBloom held a hoofmade sweater the elderly mare had been working on for months with bright white colour, blue borders and many red 'apples' sewn into it.

"I know she vill like mein gift also!" Uncle Apple Strudel neighed. Inside of gift box he had set in front of AppleBloom was a genuine authentic Germaney folk dress with matching green hat like he wore.

"OH, I can't wait! AppleBloom, open my present to you!" Haywire shouted out, hoping her friend likes the slingshot and four small firecracker rockets that were inside it.

Hi Tales!

Seems we've had a run on Diamond Dog OC's lately (which is a good thing!)

And this app is superb! All of the required fields are filled and its very well written!

Great job!

Mojo smiled when Flax Seed accepted his offer of tea.

"Well Flax, since it's about midday at the moment, I'd suggest me mellow mornin' blend! It's me own mix of relaxin' tea ta bring calm and inner peace ta the soul! I'll whip up a batch quicker than ya can say 'Bob's yur Uncle!'"

With surprising speed, the hippie brony created a small fire and rigged up a 'stand' over it to boil the water for the tea. He then tossed several teabags into the pot.

"There we go! It'll be ready very soon. And I have ta tell ya, Flax, me pal Starflower's no snob. She's very kind and carin', after all she founded a clinic in her hometown ta help ponies stay healthy! In fact, she's got such a kind heart, I'd make a go at datin' her if she wasn't as old as me own mum, but don't tell'r I said that! AH! Tea's ready!"

Within seconds, Mojo had a nice hot cup of tea ready for Flax Seed to sample. He sat it on a makeshift card table he had previously brought out of his wagon.

"Do ya take yur tea with honey or lemon, pal?" Mojo asked before he began to pour the tea into cups.

When Mojo saw what was going on at the front of the line, the Paint stallion felt compelled to step in.

"Half a mo', love," Mojo began to speak, "beggin' yur pardon, but that's not cool ta shortchange the lad here. Yur sign clearly says each one who buys yur apples today's entitled to a kiss, and cousin er not, Valen here deserves what he's paid for. If ya don't wanna kiss'm, that's groovy, but one of yur family should honor the agreement."

"He does have a point, AppleJack," Granny Smith interrupted. "Valen here did fulfill HIS end of the bargain, and we Apples NEVER break our word! That thar means that the burden of kissin' Valen falls ta either me er AppleBloom. AppleBloom! Front 'n center! Our Apple family honor's at stake here! So half pint, it's up ta either you er me ta kiss Mister Valen! Are ya gonna do it, er shall I?"

"It is true!" added Uncle Apple Strudel, "Vee Apples do not break our contracts! Not even in Germaney vould an Apple do such a ting! Herr Mojo is correct in his observation. Dee Apple Family must honor it's vord!"

Well, thank you very much! It was nice to come back from my banishment on the moon and see somepony had actually made it!

Welcome back, Tales!!

So the new era begins.

All hail our new Admins!

It's also good to see that Autumn and Manestream will be with us as well.

Oh yeah, and here's Granny Smith bowing to the new 'royalty' of Canterlot.com

Well, Granny's old, and that's as far as she can bow!

Hi Tiktaalik!

This is a very good first app, and kudos for apping a Diamond Dog! All of the required fields are filled and the character looks very original. There are a few minor spelling errors ('Diamon Dog' instead of 'Diamond Dog' for example) and you have used the 'Residence' field twice. Might be just a simple matter of proofreading and editing this app to get it ready for a full review.

Great app, just needs a little more work.

The sudden appearance of Gerrard truly scared Ms. Harshwhinney. Letting out a scream, the orange pelted Earth Pony ducked behind Professor Krashkop, shaking like a leaf.

[colour=#FF0000]"HELP! SAVE ME!" [/colour]she whined.

[colour=#008000]"Stop acting so RUDE, fraulien!" [/colour]Professor Krashkop neighed, purposely sidestepping away from the blonde blazer wearing mare. [colour=#008000]"I tried to tell you Gerrard vas a griffon. I have known him for many years!"[/colour]

The gray maned Pegasus then walked up to Gerrard and offered his hoof to shake.

[colour=#008000]"Gut morgan, herr Gerrard! It is vonderba to see you again! You are looking vell. Perhaps later on, vee can dine at Gustav LeGrande's restaurant, I vill buy, of course!" [/colour]

[colour=#FF0000]"You, you, KNOW this, creature?"[/colour]

[colour=#008000]"You need to apologize for your rudeness, fraulein!" [/colour]the Professor scoulded. [colour=#008000]"I fail to believe somevone like YOU who has lived in Canterlot for a long time vould not recognize vone of dis city's leading citizens!"[/colour]

[colour=#FF0000]"You mean, Gerrard is a, citizen of Canterlot?"[/colour]

[colour=#008000]"Javol! Now you VILL apologize for your remarks. SNELL!"[/colour]

[colour=#FF0000]"Oh dear," [/colour]Ms. Harshwhinney said as she got back on her four hooves and slowly approach the griffon. [colour=#FF0000]"Er, Mr. Gerrard, I do offer my sincerest apologies for my behavior. I've never worked so closely with, well, a griffon before. But nonetheless, we should begin our work here, yes?"[/colour]

Professor Clyde Krashkp

Ms. Harshwhinney

Standing in front of a vacant lot in downtown Canterlot was a large pitched tent that had a sign 'CAUTION, CONSTRUCTION AREA' out in front of it. Emerging from the tent were two ponies, an orange pelted blonde Earth mare dressed in a blue blazer. Beside her was a green furred elderly Pegasus who wore glasses.

"Where is he? Where is this great architect you kept bragging to be about, Professor Krashkop?" Ms. Harshwhinney snorted.

"Please fraulien, calm yourself! He vill be here! Gerrard comes highly recommended und I vill personally vouch for his skill! He is dee perfect choice to design dis new office building to house dee Equestria Games offices!"

"Well, this Gerrard will have to convince ME he is up to this task. After all, I have been put in charge of this project, and I intend to see that this new office building comes in under budget and on time! Now where is he? Is he taking a taxi to get here?"

"I don't tink he vill be travel day vay, he vill fly in!"

"OH? He's NOT a unicorn? He's a Pegasus?"

"Nein, not exactly, he is more of a.."

"Oh nevermind Professor. I'm sure I will know him when I see him, WHENEVER he decides to show up for our meeting!" the mare neighed, looking down at her legwatch.

[colour=#0000ff]"Aw shucks, Miss Carrot Top," [/colour]Hayseed said shyly, [colour=#0000ff]"I'd like that a lot too! It's been a downright pleasure jist being with ya!"[/colour]

Dr Stable, Mr. Waddle and Flam had made their way through the checkout lines and had their free Zap Apple Jam moments before Filthy Rich made the announcement that the store had run out. Hayseed felt bad for Carrot Top, but the truth be known, the brown pelted country stallion was happy to have met such a wonderful mare! He just had to do something very special for her! Meanwhile, the announcement caused his older sister, Haymaker, to go into panic mode.

[colour=#800080]"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" [/colour]the red maned mare shouted. [colour=#800080]"We lost out! No Zap Apple jam for us!"[/colour]

[colour=#b22222]"But sis, I got somethin' ta tell ya," [/colour]little Haywire said.

[colour=#800080]"Not NOW, Haywire! I lost out on Zap Apple jam! It's all because on that durn Doctor and his pills! Wait till I git mah hooves on HIM! He's gonna need a DOCTOR when I punch'm!" [/colour]

[colour=#b22222]"BUT SIS! LISTEN TA ME!"[/colour]

[colour=#800080]"Stow it, kid! I'm gonna git that Doctor!"[/colour]

[colour=#b22222]"STOP IT NOW!" [/colour]Haywire shouted, [colour=#b22222]"I'm tryin' ta tell ya, I done got a jar of Zap Apple jar fer us!"[/colour]

[colour=#800080]"I see him! I ain't gonna let'm get away... er... what did ya say?"[/colour]

[colour=#b22222]"I said, I got a jar of jam fer us! I done bought a buncha stuff and got the jar already! I know how much ya love Zap Apple jam, so I.."[/colour]

Without another word spoken, Haymaker threw her front legs around her little sister to give her a big hug.

[colour=#800080]"Thank ya, sis! I love ya!"[/colour]

[colour=#b22222]"An I love ya too," [/colour]Haywire replied as Hayseed and Carrot Top walked by them.

[colour=#0000ff]"Look at that! It's a rare sight, mah sisters gitt'n along with each other! Jist wish if'd last."[/colour]

Hayseed and Carrot Top's romance continues here

Mojo & Jubilee Flyer

Walking into the cafeteria was Jubilee Flyer, aspiring actress and singer, next to her flamboyantly dressed brother, Mojo.

[colour=#8B4513]"Yeah baby! Time for chow, that's groovy, really happenin'!" [/colour]Mojo said in his slight British accent.

[colour=#0000FF]"Would you at least TRY to not embarrass me today, brother?" [/colour]Jubilee asked in a whisper as the two siblings got their trays and moved into the serving line.

[colour=#8B4513]"Aww! There ya go with those bad vibes agin', sis. I gotta be me, y'know."[/colour]

[colour=#0000FF]"Yes, and that's the problem." [/colour]Julibee quipped as the food was plopped on her plate by a smiling, green skinned elderly cafeteria lady.

[colour=#8B4513]"Problem? It's all in me charm! Watch this!" [/colour]Mojo said, turning and flashing his trademark smile at the cafeteria lady. [colour=#8B4513]"Good afternoon, love! Yur sure lookin' chirper today, babe!"[/colour]

Mojo grinned at his sister as he received an extra big mound of mashed potatoes and an extra brownie on his plate.

[colour=#8B4513]"Stay cool, sweetie," [/colour]the loudly dressed guy responded with a wink before his angry sister pulled him away from the line.

[colour=#0000FF]"Stop it! Someday that, charm, of yours is going to get you in trouble. Now I'm going to eat with my fellow drama friends, YOU stay far away from me.:"[/colour]

[colour=#8B4513]"Gotcha sis, besides, I wanna scope out all the chicks in the cafeteria. Need ta fetch me a date for tonight, after all."[/colour]

[colour=#0000FF]"Whatever," [/colour]Julibee sighed as she walked over towards the Drama table where she saw Honeydew already seated.

[colour=#0000FF]"Hi there! I'm Jubilee Flyer, don't we have a couple of classes together? May I join you?" [/colour]the blonde girl asked. Meanwhile, Mojo was walking around with his tray, randomly waving and 'greeting' all the girls in the room he recognized.

[colour=#8B4513]"Yo Vinyl Scratch! Rock on, chickie baby! Hey there Quicklime! How's me favorite bookworm and.. " [/colour]Instantly, Mojo stopped talking, spotting Sunrise Shimmer addressing her. Slowly, the brown haired Brit backed away from that table, realizing he wanted nothing to do with the school bully, even if she was a 'babe.'. As he was backpedaling, he bumped into the table where Asteria was seated. When he turned and spotted the beautiful lady seated there, Mojo returned to 'cool' mode. [colour=#8B4513]"Yeah baby! I meant, greetings there love. Mojo's me name, mind if I dine with ya?"[/colour]

Haywire

Sneaking carefully into the cafeteria trying to remain unnoticed was freshman girl Haywire. The rust coloured blonde country girl tried to look casual as she made her way to the serving line, her slingshot sticking out of her back pocket. She had had a very busy morning and so far, her luck was holding out. No one figured out that it was her who placed that whippie cushion under Vice Principal Luna's seat when she sat down during the morning staff meeting. She had also successfully pranked a boy with the old 'spring loaded stick of chewing gum' routine. Haywire wanted to stay clear of that boy for the next few days. Looking all 'sweet and innocent' as she got her tray of food, the happy bow wearing girl spotted the table where Vinyl Scratch was sitting. Excited, she rushed right over to her.

[colour=#B22222]"Hey Vinyl Scratch! I'm Haywire and I'm a big fan of yur DJ'n! Might I sit a spell with ya and eat?"[/colour]

Well, to quote Pinkie Pie from the EQG movie, I'm "nervouscited" about these developments. Anyway, I will echo the sediments from others who have already given thanks to Autumn and Manestream for all they've done for this website! I have full faith and confidence in Rosewind and Dio in their new positions at Canterlot.com. Congratulations to them for their promotions!

WOW! Thank you for your prompt attention on this app!

Excellent change to the Character Summary section! Well done!

The blue stallion was sad too. This beautiful, elegant mare had invoked emotions inside of the him he never realized he had before!

[colour=#0000ff]"Farewell, Miss Stillheart!" [/colour]Saddlesore called out to the departing unicorn mare. He knew having a friendship with Asteria would be challenging, due to the very unemtional nature of her personality, but still, Saddlesore had few true friends and even fewer (if any) female companions. For once in his life, Saddlesore felt happy, excited, and warm inside. Was it love? Was it friendship? Was it something in between? He had no idea, but there was one thing Saddlesore was certain of. He did want to see her again. Maybe he could take a trip to Canterlot someday...

(exit Saddlesore --- end of RP)

Hi Alanoth! I'll be the RPH evaluating your app!

This app is very well written, all of the required fields are filled, and although I can see you did follow the RP Guidelines with the Character Summary, the RP Staff here is looking for more of a paragraph form in addressing those questions rather than a simple list. You have the info there, it just needs to be worked into a readable paragraph form.

Other than that, I see no major issues with this app! You have a very good start here! Just needs a bit more refinement.

Mojo was very surprised at Flax Seed's reaction to discovering one of his own best friends was a unicorn. Though this hurt the Paint stallion a little, he could understand his new friend's reasoning. But still, Mojo needed to have his say on the matter.

[colour=#8b4513]"Whoa there, chum!" [/colour]the hippie brony began to speak, [colour=#8b4513]"I do dig where yur comin' from on magic, but why are ya so down on unicorns?. Ponies are ponies, even if they happen ta have horns or wings. I'm with ya on not wantin' ta use magic and all, but why would ya think all ponies with horns are squares?. Maybe if ya met me pal Starflower and got ta know her, you'd see things different. I'm not gonna diss a pony cause they were born with a horn, and besides that, if ya wanna sell yur products ta all ponies, havin' an anti-horn attitude will cost ya some sales. Most unicorns got plenty of bread ta spend, ya dig me?"[/colour]

Then when he heard Flax Seed's comments about coffee, Mojo smiled widely.

[colour=#8b4513]"Bummer! Figures some brainy pony already came up with the drink before I could. I'm more of a tea drinker meself, and speakin' of tea, could I offer ya some? Got plenty of it over at me wagon, could brew some up for ya in a jiffy! It's all natural, no magic on me family's farm!"[/colour]

Well, the History section is brief, and you could expand a bit more on her personality, if you wanted to.

It's up to you, but what I'm saying is as this app stands now, since it is FFA, I believe it will pass Senior Role Play Staff guidelines.

Hi kinkamina! For a FFA app, this looks very, very good! All the required fields are filled, but it is very brief in some places. Still, since this is a FFA app, that may not matter so much. I like what I see here!

Granny Smith smiles when Valen asks her what's going on.

[colour=#00ff00]"Well Valen, me and Apple Strudel here's been helpin' AppleJack all day with this here big Apple sale! We've had a lot of famous visitors, like Princess Luna and Fancy Pants and.."[/colour]

[colour=#006400]"But mein sister, dat Fancy Pants guy turned out to be a fraud!" [/colour]Uncle Apple Strudel chimed in, [colour=#006400]"It vas dat evil svinehoit Flam!"[/colour]

[colour=#00ff00]"What? Oh yeah! That Flam feller! Ya shoudda seen me, Valen! Why I reared back an' kicked that crazy galoot up ta the moon pertin' near! I ain't kicked nuttin that hard in decades! And his no good brother Flim showed up here too! Them two bamboozlers make me SO mad I wanna SCREAM!"[/colour]

[colour=#006400]"Nein! Calm down, mein sister," [/colour]the bearded stallion pleaded as the elderly mare shook in anger. Noticing her distress, Mojo broke out in a slow lullaby song that slowly brought peace to the Apple Matriarch.

[colour=#8b4513]"There now, love, ya feelin' chilled out?" [/colour]Mojo asked after his short song was done.

[colour=#006400]"Vunderba! Granny Smith is smiling again! Danka herr Mojo!"[/colour]

[colour=#00ff00]"That was some jim dandy singin', Mojo. Why don't ya sing ta AppleJack oncest yur turn comes up in line?"[/colour]

[colour=#8b4513]"Sing ta AppleJack? I don't know if she digs my singin', Granny."[/colour]

[colour=#00ff00]"Sure! My AppleJack loves yur singin', betcha y'all could sweep her off her feet with it!"[/colour]

[colour=#8b4513]"Say what?"[/colour]

[colour=#006400]"VHAT!!!"[/colour]

[colour=#00ff00]"Never ya mind, young feller, you jist git up thar in line and git ready ta sing!" [/colour]Granny neighed, using her front hooves to try to push the Paint stallion closer up the line.

[colour=#006400]"Stop dat, Granny! I don't tink AppleJack vould like all dis dat you are sayin' ta..." [/colour]Uncle Apple Strudel's words stopped when Granny shoved an apple into his open mouth.

[colour=#00ff00]"Hush now, Strudel," [/colour]she whispered, [colour=#00ff00]"maybe I kin git dat hippie feller ta start sparkin' with AJ. Hush up and let nature take it's course..."[/colour]

Here could be a VERY unpopular pony opinion:

Could the reason for the LONG delay in the start of S4 is that Hasbro is secretly having all the VA's working on the first season of a Equestrian Girls spinoff cartoon also?

Thanks! I just wanted to be 100% sure!

Hi FermataTheBasse! This app looks excellent! All of the required fields are filled (considering she's a griffon) and it is very well written. There is one question I must ask, though it might sound like a silly question. By 'typical' griffon, do you mean that she has the "half eagle - half lion' look like Gilda? The reason I'm asking is that in the past, we've had users app griffons with 'different' halves, such as half panther, etc. Just want to make sure what you are projecting as the overall 'species mix' of your griffon.