LegendaryEmerald
-
Posts
28 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Blogs
Articles
Rules
Downloads
Gallery
Store
Posts posted by LegendaryEmerald
-
-
Cover art by Arylett-Dawnsborough
It's finally done! The first episode of my fanfiction, "The Subordinate Six", is completed and free to view on FIMFiction Dot Net! It was on the Featured Stories list for awhile, and has gotten some favorable reviews. Please give it a read; I didn't work on this for 6 months only to have a handful of people see it!
Summary: Las Pegasus, the entertainment capital of Equestria. Lyra and Bon Bon arrive in the city prepared to start a new life, but run into some familiar faces. For instance, there's a wall-eyed mailmare living next door, and some traveling magician won't stop proclaiming her own greatness. And Lyra could swear she's seen this pony named 'Vinyl Scratch' before, but Octavia is remaining tight-lipped. Can they make it in this town of glitz, glamor, and crazy ponies? (First episode/storyline is completed!)
Characters: Lyra, Bon Bon, Derpy, Trixie, Vinyl, Octavia
Genre: Comedy/Normal with eventual shipping
Rated: E
-
1: Twilight and Spike
2: Manehatten
3: Murder Mystery
-
Hello everyone! While I wait on the cover art and theme song for my fanfiction "The Subordinate Six" to be finished, I decided to scratch my writers itch by writing a short fic about everyone's favorite subject right now: Alicorn Twilight. The idea for this particular story came to my mind while I tried to sleep this Friday night, and since the idea was still there tonight, I decided it was worth writing down.
I've got the first 2 and a half pages done so far, but its a very rough draft; I just started writing this not even 4 hours ago, I've never used First Person and Present Tense in fiction outside of a classroom setting before, and its also my first time writing for Luna and Celestia. I'm posting what I have here right now so y'all can tell me if I'm doing this right, and if it's actually of any interest to you. I know this subject has been written about to death, but I want to at least make my take on it a little bit different.
So, here it is so far. Story contents inside the spoiler tag.
Everything is happening so fast.
This morning wasn't one of my finer moments. To save myself the embarrassment of going into too much detail, I'll just say that, through a complicated series of events, I sort of ended up casting a spell which had the effect of switching the cutie marks and talents of all my friends. Oops.
Thankfully that spell didn't effect me too, or else I'd have never been able to change things back to the way they were. Sure, I'd had to write my own spell to do it; it wasn't something I'd ever tried before, but there's a first time for anything, you know?
I didn't think it was that big of a deal. After all, Starswirl the Bearded had written thousands of spells in his days. It was about time I followed in his hoof steps and added something to the Canterlot spell archives. I sent the spell sheet off to the Princess for consideration, hoping for little more than open-minded consideration and maybe a “good job”.
Instead, I received 6 tickets for the train, and one of the most bewildering letters I've ever received.
“Dear Twilight Sparkle
I cannot begin to describe the joy I felt upon receiving your last letter. You may not yet know for what reason, but I have included 6 tickets for the train heading to Canterlot. If you are able to, I would like you all to come here at your soonest convenience. There is a celebration to be planned.
~ Princess Celestia”
By the sun, what have I done?
Becoming the Alicorn
by Legendary Emerald
“We are still unsure if this is the correct course of action, Sister.”
Celestia doesn't respond. She has anxiously paced the halls of the castle for most of the hour following the reply of her student. Before then, she had been beating her hooves upon our door, waking us from the only dreams which We can call our own.
“It's time.” she had said, and it took us only a moment to realize the meaning behind those words, when they were spoken with such excitement that we could feel the light radiating from her being. Years she had awaited this moment. Years in which she would have had ample time to reflect on the consequences of her long laid plans.
It is not likely that We will be able to change her mind about this matter, but We will try.
“Sister, We have observed that your hooves have nearly worn out the carpet. Shall We put in an advance contract for the interior decorator, or will you sit for a moment so that we may discuss the matter at hand?” We ask, hoping our attempt at humor will bring Sister out of her stupor.
“There's nothing more to discuss, Luna. Twilight has proven herself ready for ascension.” she replies, giving our question the same attention she would to a tabloid running a feature on the royal cake budget.
“Ready and able are not one and the same.” We point out.
“You underestimate her.”
“We recognize her as a mortal being.”
“Not after tomorrow.” a small smile creeps into her words.
“You know that is not what We...” our words trail off; sister's attempts to 'troll' us will distract us. “She is still young. Too young to be thrust into the role of a princess.”
“You say that as if she won't be given a choice.” she says, nearly sounding offended. “I would never force my student to do something she was not comfortable with.”
“We did not meant to imply anything so vulgar.” We assure her. “However, we both know that she will say yes.”
“We don't know that.” Sister answers. “But I do know my student well. She will be certain to look at the issue from all sides before coming to a decision.”
“This is not one of the simple academic questions you have posed to her before though, is it, Sister?” We point out, and decide to go straight to the heart of the matter. “This is what you have had planned for her ever since you took her in as your own. How can she have a true choice in the matter when her refusal would be tantamount to betraying her beloved mother!?”
During the course of our tirade, We let our voice be raised, for the first time since our return to this world. Sister looks at us with shock, perhaps even indignation. The image of a far away planet flits across our eyes, and We feel the taste of vacuum on our tongue. But when We come to our senses, oxygen still fills our lunges, and it is still the halls of Canterlot Castle in which We stand.
We do not apologize for our outburst, pushing the generosity of our sister yet further. She has stopped her endless pacing.
“I will admit that... I am biased in this matter.” she finally replies, in a voice that almost conveys guilt. “I do wish for Twilight to ascend, as I believe that is what is best for her. But my wishes should not interfere with her decision.”
We nod our head, but say nothing.
“What would you suggest I do?” she asks us plaintively.
“Nothing.” comes our firm answer. We have waited for this moment. “Grant us ten minutes alone with Ms. Sparkle, after you have posed the question of ascension to her. If she still wants to go through with the ascension ritual after We are done with her, We will be silent on the matter forever after.”
It has been our intent to ask for this chance since the start of the conversation. Sister looks at us curiously, perhaps trying to disguise the apprehension she surely must feel towards us. Perhaps she thinks We pose a threat to her student, or at the very least, her well laid plans.
Sister takes in a deep breath from her nostrils, and lets it out likewise.
“Alright. We... I will allow you your chance to give your perspective on the matter to Twilight.” she says, slipping into the olden speech for half of a second. “Ascension was meant to be my gift to her. The last thing I would wish for it to be is a curse.”
Sister stares at us with saddened eyes. It makes us feel uncomfortable.
Read it? Okay. You can probably tell where this story is heading, since I'm following what we currently know about season 3's ending. The next segment will most likely be from Celestia's perspective, so that I can show her thought process more in-depth.
Tell me what you think!
-
When you get really upset when your favorite musician in the fandom releases a new song, and EQD only includes it in a "Music of the Day" post instead of in a "Spotlight Music" post.
-
I'm gonna go one further than most people here, and say 5 or 6 seasons. Most series I wouldn't trust to go past 3, but I'm of the mind that the series has only gotten better thus far. As long as people keep watching and buying the products, there isn't any reason for the show to stop. And as long as the show doesn't become terrible (fat chance), then there isn't any reason for us to stop watching and buying the products.
*This post is in the running for "most obvious statement of the year". Click here to vote!*
-
I suppose my fondest memory of a gaming accomplishment was beating Mega Man X4. Not because its a particularly hard game for its series, but because it was the first "difficult" game I ever beat. Once I conquered X4, it was like a whole new world of gaming was opened up to me: I could actually play games from beginning to end! So of course I went on a rampage of beating every game I owned, because beating a Mega Man game let's you absorb that game's challenge and add it to your own strength. Or something like that. Hey, it worked for me!
Some other accomplishments I'm proud of are:
Beating I Want To Be the Guy and it's sequel.
Beating Mega Man Zero 1-3 with a-ranks, without upgrading my health bar or any other stats
Beating every Devil May Cry game
Beating Sonic 1 with all chaos emeralds.
-
Turns out there are more spoilers than we realized! Twilight Sparkle isn't just becoming an alicorn, she's becoming... a toaster!
Shocking. But I for one look forward to this reboot of the "Brave Little Toaster" series. If they remake the sequel, "The Brave Little Toaster Goes to the Mars", we could at least expect Luna to make a cameo as the main cast shoots off past the moon.
-
Poke'mon. Ugh, not a good way to be introduced to Japanese animation.
I didn't start taking an active interest in anime until the later years of elementary school and early middle school. That's when everyone my age discovered Dragon Ball Z, and the art of dragging out a fight scene for five episodes. Some of my favorite animes growing up were TV Tenchi, Gundam Wing, and Digimon. Favorite anime of all time would be Trigun, but that was far from my first anime.
-
Note: If this thread belongs in the "request" section, please have it moved. I saw another pre-reader request thread in this subsection though, so that is where I chose to put this.
Hello all. My name is Legendary Emerald. My primary intent when joining this site was to be involved in the RP community, but I've had my time taken up by both RL activities and a certain fanfiction project that I've been working on for almost a year now. Time to clear some space in my day to day schedule.
The Subordinate Six (Comedy, Normal) Rated PG
Las Pegasus, the entertainment capital of Equestria. Lyra and Bon Bon arrive in the city prepared to start a new life, but old vestiges of the past seem to be following them. For instance, there's a wall-eyed mailmare living next door, and some traveling magician won't stop proclaiming her own greatness. And Lyra could swear she's seen this pony named 'Vinyl Scratch' before, but Octavia is remaining tight-lipped.
Cast: Lyra, Bon Bon, Derpy, Vinyl, Octavia, Trixie
I'm getting dangerously close to finally marking the first four chapters, which comprise the first "episode" of the "season", as complete, but I really want to be sure of the quality before I upload to FiMFiction and submit to EQD. My previous ponyfanfiction managed to make it onto both sites, so I know how high the standards are for the latter. But I was working with a very talented editor at that time, who no longer has the time to work with me on my current project, due to increased workload at his job.
If you are interested, or have further questions, please reply to this thread or message me privately. I won't be handing out the link to the full story publicly yet, so until its release, editors and pre-readers will be the only ones who will get to see it.
I'll leave you with this small teaser scene, to give you an idea of the story's tone and writing style. Spoilered because of text dump.
[colour=#000000]No other ponies were up and about, making the place feel very empty. She made her way up the outdoor stairwell with some difficulty, her magic aura beginning to fade as the saddlebags repeatedly banged against the steps.[/colour]
[colour=#000000] “Oops. Hope she didn't pack the kitchen sink, or we might have a leaky faucet on our hooves.” Lyra quipped, laughing at her own joke. She set all of the bags down in front of the light blue door labeled #203. “Guess I'll just wait now. And talk to myself. Can't forget that.”[/colour]
[colour=#000000] Lyra stood up on her hind legs and leaned over the railing, looking at the ground below. From her vantage point she could see a pool set up behind the small building. Nopony was in it though, denying Lyra even the simple pleasures of voyeurism.[/colour]
[colour=#000000] When Bon Bon failed to exit the building after an entire minute had passed, Lyra began to look to her left and right shiftily. She slowly backed up towards the door to the apartment, and then turned to face the doorknob. A sly smile crossed over her features as her horn lit up and enveloped the knob in the light.[/colour]
[colour=#000000] “Let's just see...” Lyra said, sticking her tongue out the side of her mouth as gears began to click inside the lock mechanism. So intent was she on her lockpicking that she didn't notice a shadow passing over her.[/colour]
[colour=#000000] “Are you trying to break in?” a voice suddenly asked, causing Lyra to yell and sending her entire body into spasms.[/colour]
[colour=#000000] “I, uh, m-maybe!” Lyra answered in defiance, staring at the gray pegasus in front of her. The mare didn't appear to be staring back, at least not directly. Her yellow eyes, which matched her golden mane and tail, seemed to be looking off in different directions. A goofy smile was plastered across her face.[/colour]
[colour=#000000] “Well you're never going to get inside just by staring at the door.” the mare laughed. She placed her right forehoof over her chest. “Don't worry, I got this.”[/colour]
[colour=#000000] The pegasus took a few steps back towards the railing, and coiled her legs underneath her as her eyes narrowed in determination. Her rear wiggled like a kitten’s, soap bubble cutie mark threatening to float away. Then, with a single, powerful flap of her wings, she charged forward and slammed into the door with her entire body. The door caved under her weight, swinging inside and depositing the comatose mare across the doorstep.[/colour]
[colour=#000000] “Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Lyra asked worriedly. The other pony shakily got her her hooves and began to sway from side to side.[/colour]
[colour=#000000] “Heh heh, everything looks all funny.” she said, eyes facing both directions for the first time. She shook her head a few times and they returned to their crossed state. “Ah, that's better.”[/colour]
[colour=#000000] Lyra laughed in spite of herself, and the other mare joined her. [/colour]
[colour=#000000] “Hey, wait, I know you!” Lyra said, catching her breath. “You're Derpy Hooves. Ponyville's number one mail mare!”[/colour]
[colour=#000000] “That's me!” Derpy said with a smile. “And you're Lyra Heartstrings. Ponyville's number one, uh, heartstring.”
[/colour]
-
Heres the link: http://www.fimfictio...ns-rainbow-dash
Tell me what you think! Planning on submitting this to EQD some day.
Read the first chapter so far, and I might get to the rest later tonight. The fic has over 2 thousand individual viewers, so I'm gonna guess that it picks up later on.
Just based on what I've read, the concept interests me. But I have to say that while your prose is good, there's just too much of it. There's hardly any dialogue, and what is there doesn't sound particularly natural in some cases. Overall the chapter just has the problem of telling and not showing enough. It feels like you're rushing to a conclusion or particularly interesting event, rather than taking the time a proper reminiscence on growing up would need.
For instance, you mentioned Dash's parents in passing, but I don't have any understanding of who those characters actually are yet. This is probably cleared up in future chapters, but more effort should have been placed in making them interesting or likeable from the start. Actions and dialogue always speaks louder than author exposition, and right now the story feels severely lopsided in its exposition to dialogue ratio.
If dialogue wasn't something you want to focus on as much, I would have suggested writing from a first person point of view. That way the story would have at least had a narrator who felt more connected to the events at hand, and the readers would have had a solid story telling voice to listen to. But I suppose the story has come too far along for that.
EQD can be very picky when it comes to the stories they accept. I'd suggest sending in what you have right now, just so you can find out what their current standards are, and what criticisms they have. They won't provide specific critique; that's not their job. But they will give you a good idea of what they find wrong stylistically with your story, if anything,
Different pre-readers have different thought processes though, so my complaints might not even come up in your stories' evaluation. All I know is that the pre-reader I had for the first draft of my Glowmelon Mystery fic probably wouldn't have let your story through, based on the feedback I received. I had to re-write the entire story in order for it to be accepted, but I think the quality of the piece improved tremendously because of it.
You've got a lot of readers, so you're doing something right. Don't take my criticisms too seriously. Fanfiction is all about creating and having fun. I wouldn't have bothered to pick apart your first chapter like this if you didn't express the desire to take your writing to the next level (being published by EQD).
-
4/5 reminds me of this blind bag pony. Text needs to be a vector or something in order to be rid of the sharp edges, though.
-
Thanks for the welcoming, everyone!
Eh, I personally got thrown off by big MLP-related news today, but here I am now to greet you with a hello!
I know. The news that Twilight Sparkle is becoming a toaster threw everyone for a loop. I for one am looking forward to "The Brave Little Toaster: Friendship is Magic".
Hey, welcome to Canterlot.
What other forum did you used to be on?
MLPforums. I just couldn't connect with the majority of the members there, and the cool people I did find all have skype. There just wasn't any reason for me to stick around there anymore when the RPs I was in lost my attention.
WELCOM TO CANTERLOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I see someone is using the Royal Canterlot Capslock.
sup!
no much!
Welcome to Canterlot
Call me Cat!
No, I think I'll call you Walrus.
Welcome! We hope you have a good experience in Canterlot!
With an emoticon as wonderful as this,
, how could I not?Patrick Speaking
Good day! Welcome to the town of Canterlot!
Hehe quite frankly I enjoy the avatar
Emerald Speaking
Thank you! And I don't know what comic the avatar comes from, other than its featured in newspapers in America. Meaning its probably an awful, awful comic.
-
2
-
-
Just call me Marelyn Maneson, hahahaha-
*Shot full of holes; bleeds out on the carpet, laughing all the while*
Gasp... and I never... even figured out... how to embed video in a post...
-
I've been looking forward to this development since the start of season 3, when it was first heavily teased. Something like this to shake up the status quo is exactly what the show needs right now, I think.
-
I think as a documentary, it failed. The focus was all over the place, with characters dropping in and out seemingly at random. I can't see most people who aren't already bronies enjoying this film.
That said, if you are a brony, there's a lot to like. The doc certainly brought back a lot of fond memories of the convention livestreams for me, and the animated bits were very high quality. And all of the people who had focused placed on them seemed like good enough fellows, though I think the German couple might rival Sugarcube Corner for chief cause of equine diabetes.
Also, hearing an animated pony, even in a non-canon context, mention _that_ has to be one of the funnier moments in FiM history.
-
Welcome to the site! Hope you'll put up some examples of your artwork, writing, and singing once you're a full fledged member of the site. I'd be interested in checking it out if its any good
-
Welcome to the site, malapropos laughter pony. There's some guides on this site which detail specific rules on RP. Check the "Extras" tab, and then "Info, rules, and guides". Hope that helps.
-
Welcome to canterlot, hope you have fun
Thanks! You're the only one to welcome me so far. I think I might have scared everyone else off with my avatar and novels-worth of informative text.
-
Hello! My name is Legendary Emerald. With a name like that, I probably sound pompous, but it's the truth: I am indeed a green gemstone. As for “Legendary”, eh, depends on if I'm in the mood to blow people's minds or not.
I joined this forum for the same reason I suspect many members do: I need a place to get into some quality RP action. The previous forum I tried pony RP at was a mess, due to an immature userbase who didn't care much for storytelling, or grammar, or characterization, or not-blinding people with brightly coloured text...
You know what, I'm going to stop this line of thought before I go down a dark path from which there is no returning!
After I'm out of the newbie-phase on this site, I'm going to see what RPs here interest me. I've looked around a bit, but have been distracted as of late. Hence my creating this account weeks ago, and only now getting around to making an introductory post, heh.
Here's a few other facts just to pad out my resume.
-
My favorite pony is Lyra Heartstrings. -
My favorite episode is Lesson Zero (not coincidentally, the first episode I watched). -
My favorite musicians in the fandom are HeyLasFas, Tarby, and Cyril the Wolf, in that order. -
My favorite fanfiction authors are Visiden Visidane, Jason the Human, and AbsoluteAnonymous -
My primary contribution to the fandom is ponyfic. My first ponyfic, “The Glowmelon Mystery”, was featured on EQD awhile back. I'm currently looking for a new editor for my current story, so please message me if you're interested.
And that's about all I have to say for now. Feel free to ask any questions if you have them.
-
, how could I not?
The Subordinate Six (First storyline complete)
in Writing Discussion
Posted
Great! Tell me what you think after you've read it.
The woman who created the cover art doesn't normally take requests, I don't think. I'm a friend of hers, and originally I'd actually intended to pay her for her work. She ended up not getting a bank account set up for paypal, and since it was taking her so long, she decided to just do the cover for me for free.
And if you think it sounds like a fun read... then you know what to do! Give it a read!