MessageinaBottle Posted December 31, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2013 Oh ok thanks! I'll start working on it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armony Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 How's this application coming along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MessageinaBottle Posted January 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 I keep thinking of ideas, but then losing the interest, so it's taking a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MessageinaBottle Posted January 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Ok after a few days of planning, I finally am ready for another examine! ((Hope this is perfect )) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted January 15, 2014 Report Share Posted January 15, 2014 Some more comments:Remove the line "Dashing never used magic, and doesnt plan on using it, and has little knowledge on magic". Your OC is a pegasus, which means he can't cast spells no matter what.I don't see at all how someone who operates a hardware store in Canterlot would be skilled in combat. If you can't explain why your hardware store owner OC would need combat skills and how he came to develop them, then please get rid of all such claims in Dashing Blade's app.If you'd like, you can cut the application process short by transferring your OC over to our Free For All section. If you do so, Dashing Blade can be accepted as is right now. If you agree with this advice, feel free to add "Roleplay Type: Free For All" to the top of your application sheet. ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MessageinaBottle Posted January 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2014 Ok thank you for helping me out! Now it seems like there's some minor errors, but now that I fixed the issues, I think I am now ready again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted January 16, 2014 Report Share Posted January 16, 2014 I saw your latest change, but things are still not lining up. Because your OC lives in Canterlot, he doesn't live close enough to the Everfree Forest so that simply taking walks there isn't an option. Even if this wasn't the case however, I see nothing in your OC's personality that actually makes me believe that he enjoys going into such a forbidding locale. If he did, Dashing would either be a deranged individual who enjoys hunting down dangerous creatures for his own amusement, or a daredevil. In either case, neither a gladiator or a daredevil would content themselves running a hardware shop in the cozy capital of Equestria. To be blunt, your current reason to have your OC trek through the Everfree is merely a flimsy excuse to justify his supposed combat skill.At this juncture, you have three available options:Give Dashing Blade a new occupation that requires fighting ability.Remove his combat abilities and leave the rest of the app as is.Reassign your OC to Free For All to end the long approval process.PS: Before I forget, you'll also need to remove the reference to Fluttershy. No apps are allowed to use cast characters for the purposes of describing OCs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MessageinaBottle Posted January 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2014 Oh ok, I'll get rid of his combat skills, and fluttershy thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MessageinaBottle Posted January 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2014 Ok I did what you said, and hopefully everything is good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted January 16, 2014 Report Share Posted January 16, 2014 There are two combat references that you forgot to remove:After Dashing was big enough to leave the farm, and start his own life, his Parents moved out of Equestria, and Dashing was left alone in Canterlot. He soon was hired for construction, and got good money, so he stayed in Canterlot. He later decided to learn combat skills because he usually takes walks in the Everfree Forest, and other dangerous places.Dashing loves adventuring, a good combat situation sometimes, and admiring structures; not really the competition sort. He gets locked uo, and shy when it comes to telling how he feels, and secrets. But when it comes to music, Dashing is all up in it. His second talent would probably be music, because of how much he loves it, and sings with it. But when it comes to arguments, Dashing always tries to prove he's right every possible way, even though he's trying to stop that habit, but can't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MessageinaBottle Posted January 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2014 Oh thanks for pointing that out XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MessageinaBottle Posted January 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2014 There we go! Fixed it, and it's ready to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armony Posted January 17, 2014 Report Share Posted January 17, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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