My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: DarkFire's Story (Prologue updated and edited by NastyMann)

[PrinceHeru]

Alright the story your about to read is a fanfic series that I was planning to make a still animation series on youtube with my partner, sadly my partner has ditched me and abandon the orignal idea leaving me to do everything, I've found that it was too hard to animate on my own and do everything so I've decided to just sticking with writing the series. I also ask that everyone gives this story a chance, I may update the chapter based upon our progress, however the actually creation of the animated series would begin until a week after christmas.Also keep in mind, I'm not the smartest kid so if I try to make my character seem smart but screw information up please do tell me and keep in mind I have a reading and writing disorder so I don't have an editor to correct my work, if you like to help please tell me in a pm not in a post. This is a story deals with the cast of MLP as well as a mixture of OC characters.

Basic Plot: The story is about a black 15 year old boy named Michael. A straight +A student who is considered a prodigy by many people for he graduated 2 years early from school and is sitting around at home waiting because he wants to move out and go to college. Problem is, he is a total jerk, selfish, thinks himself higher then everyone else, and if he thinks its lame he hates it without warning. But when his sister comes along and begs his brother to make a wish list with her, little would he realize that from that day forward his life would turn upside down and thrown into the pony world of Equestria. Now he has to learn the meaning of friendship before a goes by year or he will be forced to start all over again and go back to the day he first came to Equestria. What will happen, how will he coup and will Michael learn the meaning of friendship? Only one way to find out.

I also like to thank my new editor 'NastyMann' (don't let his name fool you) for helping me become a better writer and continuing to help me become a better writer. Also don't be afraid to leave a positive comment because thats really what I need to help me continue writing. Thanks again to every brony who has or is reading this.

Prologue

"Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two legal sisters who ruled together and created harmony through al-" Suddenly a young man's voice interrupted "WHAT THE H@#L IS THIS C@#P I'm hearing?! Sister, are you watching that stupid show once again?!". A young black little girl, no older then the age of 12, was sitting before the T.V., but her attention was pulled away from the screen to stare at her older brother Michael. "But of course, its my favorite show!" she replied with hesitation, frighten by her brother. "This is like the 4th time this week! I'm gonna go insane if I have to hear that entire show all over again!" Michael remarked, standing outside the door of his father's office door, staring into the living room where her sister was watching T.V. "But its amazing, you should give a chance!" Michael made his rather rude and sarcastic remark,"Oh yeah, I'm really going to enjoy a show about Ponies, Pegasus's, and Un~i~corns, who have the powers of magic created by friendship.". The younger sister tried to reason with her brother. "......But if you just-" quickly Michael cut off her sister. "NOT A GOD DAMN CHANCE! I'd rather hang myself with pure copper cables hanging from a transformer". His sister was confused "You'd hang yourself from a robot? And why with copper, why not just rope?". Michael simply slapped himself in the face because he was so frustrated with her sister's stupidity. "NO! FOR GOD SAKES, does your school teach you, anything? Are you a complete idiot!? A transformer is a device that transfers electrical energy from one circuit to another through inductively coupled conductors—the transformer's coils. A varying current in the first or primary winding creates a varying magnetic flux in the transformer's core and thus a varying magnetic field through the secondary winding. This varying magnetic field induces a varying electromotive force (EMF), or "voltage", in the secondary winding. This effect is called inductive coupling. And the copper is the best substance to transfer electricity." However, the sister only grew in confusion. "Huh?". A blank stare overcomes Michael's face. "Simply put, it transfers electricity from one cable line, to another or multiple cables. God damn your so...AHG!!" Michael simply stomped away from his sister over towards the kitchen to where their mother was cleaning.

But when Michael entered the kitchen looking at his mother, he could easily tell, she wasn't pleased. "Satisfied?" she questionsed her oldest son. "Huh? Ah...hardly, you'd think a grade 6 child would know what a simple transformer would be, let alone the basic function of a transformer." Their mother replied in anger, "How would a 12 year old know something like that?"

Michael commented, "Ah, right, I forgot she's an 'average' student."; suddenly his mother reached out and grabbed Michael's ear, pulling it upwards causing Michael to be in pain. "You maybe one of the smartest boys in the entire country, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to mistreat or put down your own sister like you did, she's only 12!" She slowly lets go of her son's ear. But, Michael's attitude did not change. "Yeah, well when I was 12, I was in grade 8 and had the highest marks in all of the school." His mother sighed as she didn't know what to do at this point "What am I going to do with you...?" Michael replied "Let me guess, you want me to apologize to her and make her a cookie?" Her mother suddenly came up with an idea. "No, you'll not only apologize to her but when your sister asks you to do something with her you'll do it, or so help me I'll!--" She grabbed the frying pan she was cleaning and quickly lift high into the air. Michael reacted, defending himself like he was about to get hit. "WOOH WOOH OK OK! I GET IT I GET IT! JUST DON'T WHACK ME!" His mother calmed down and sighed with relief as she put the pan back down on the stove. "Good, now, I want you to go to your room and think about what your going to say to your sister." Michael wanted to desperately argue but he knew better then to antagonize a short tempted mother. "Bla, fine whatever," he said, turning away to walk up the stair case to his bed room.

Michael entered his room full of all sorts of expensive gifts from companies and universities from across the country, trying to bribe the male into having him accept their prepositions, even though he was too young to even join any of them yet. His room was also filled with all sorts of trophies, everything from little plastic gold metals from sports day, to pure gold world wide champion trophies. It was almost unreal, in fact many would consider impossible, unbelievable, their was no words to describe the boy or his future, only, that he would change the face of humanity.

But all of this didn't matter to Michael, to him, they were just another everyday occurrence. He simply jumped onto his bed and lay there with his eyes closed in frustration "AH WHY THE F#$K DO I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS!? GOD WHY ISN'T THERE A F@#KING BOARDING UNIVERSITY FOR ME!? But then again, all the boarding universities are out of this country, what am I saying?! THAT WOULD BE AMAZING!" He looked towards his sinister bling skull, same size a normal persons head yet worth more then his parents' house. He grabbed it and raisesd it into the air. "Alas, tis for I to be the only prodigy since the last! Yet, to be trape when I wish not to be..." Poetically he spoke words of his mouth that seemed to come straight from a play, but it quickly faded as he softly brought the skull to his for head, unhappy with is life. "Sigh...what I would give just to get away from this place. Don't care where don't care how, anywhere has got to be better then this. Right skull?" Michael began moving the skull up and down to make the skull to talk, acting out his voice "Indeed, for many nations need of you, prodigy, to slay their dragons, save their damsels in distress, become their king and lead a nation like no other, going on to become a legend." Michael laughed to himself but also had a idea. "You know, your right, and I think the land of Skyrim needs just that," he said, turning towards his state of the art computer with a case of a copy of Skyrim. But his plan came tumbling down when his door opens slighty, to see his only little sister standing before the door.

Michael sighsed, "Ugh, can't I get away from you for one minute?!" But he had a good idea why his sister was here, for it was most likely his mother. "Let me guess, mother sent you... Well, I'm not going to apologize to you, that's for sure!" quickly rolling over to his side facing away from his sister. Michael's sister spoke softly, "Um...well...yeah...b-but I don't want an apology, I um...just want to be with my big brother...but um...mommy said you'd..you would do something with me..." Michael quickly spoke out towards his sister "I'M NOT WATCHING MY LITTLE PONY FOR THE LAST TIME!!" His sister jumped with fright when he yelled out towards her, she was shivering and looked like she was about to cry. "Oh god please don't...not the guilt trip! Just don't cry, mother will kill me if she finds out! I'll do whatever you want, anything, just not watch My Little Pony, okay?!" His sister sniffed a little and huffed as she clammed down a little and smile appeared on her face "T-then um...could you help me...make an account on My Little Pony form and teach me how to use one?" She asked out of hope. Michael should have known it would have to deal with My Little Pony. "Ugh, fine, and its forum, not form. Bla, whatever. But I'm only going to spend 15 minutes helping you because THE LAND OF SKYRIM NEED HIS DOVAKIN!!" Once again, his sister had no idea what he was talking about. "What? What's a Doveken?" Michael made no remark as he simply put his sister into the computer chair, facing computer and commanded "Just get the computer started will ya?"

Several minutes later, Michael was typing into his computer and finishing it by pressing the enter key "And there you have it, your own My Little Pony account, just don't spam my E-mail with junk mail ok?" His sister grew with excitement as she finally had her own account on MLP: FiM Fourms. "YES YES YES! THANK YOU BROTHER! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE!!" She said grasping her brother's waist. Michael wanted to push his sister away but knew better for he was at the mercy of his sister. "Agh...Yeah yeah...just don't getting ideas alright?"Michael's sister blinks at the computer screen, looking at all the topics on the forum. She then turned to her brother. "Um, how do I use the forum?" she asked. Suddenly Michael's anger increased to what could only be described as a face palm of rage. Turning away for a moment, he breathed in and out as he tried to clam himself. He turned back to his sister after being calm and said "Alright it's easy, you go to a topic, then choose one of categories and make a post or click on a already made one, and just post a comment like so..." He clicks on a random forum that said 'Wish List'. When the page opened up the entire forum was empty, no one posted. "Huh, strange...this must be a new forum or the site isn't popular. Whatever, so you just click the button new topic, put in a name for the topic, then type whatever you want," he explained. "Oh, alright!" she said with a smile as she goes over, clicked the new topic, and put in the title, 'me and my brother's wish list.' "Wait what are you doing?" Michael asked. "I'm making you and me a wish list, won't you please make one with me?" She looks up towards him with puppy dog eyes hoping he would fall for it. However, Michael wasn't phased by it and couldn't care less, but again, at sister's mercy. "Agh whatever. Stupid as this is..."Michael's sister was overwhelmed with delight and she felt her puppy dog eyes worked, so she began to type."I wish for...I wish for a puppy this Christmas!” she said. Michael commented, "But Christmas is still half a year away!" She simply replied "I know but its a wish list silly, I can wish for anything I want! Alright now your turn brother, and wish for something nice." He just simply stares at his sister and sighs, going to the keyboard for a moment to think. However, he didn't want anything other than this to be over, he thought this whole thing was stupid and wanted it to be over already.

"I wish I didn't have to make this stupid wish list," speaking while he typed.

"Brother, you can't say that, that's not really a wish."

"Hey, you wanted a wish, you got one."

"Brother, please make an actually wish," she replied with a pout.

He sighsed and said "Fine whatever," deleting the wish he typed and thought for a moment for an actual wish to satisfy his sister. He then remembered his wish from earlier and decided that would be his wish. "I wish to be taken away from this place, I want to move as far away from my home as possible, and finally earn a living!" Then without saying anything more he clicked the submit button and their post was made. "Ah! The post, I still had many other wishes! I thought you said we'd make a wish list together?" she was quite upset. But Michael was done and said "Well you got your wish so stop bothering me. Well 15 minuets are up, I'm going to go watch Southpark," he remarked needing to get away from his sister as fast as possible, even though he wanted to play Skyrim. "Ah, how to do I fix the post?" His sister asked. But his reply was "Don't care, figure it out." And with that he was gone. Michael's sister sighed, wishing she never came here in the first place.

Suddenly a new post came up on their topic, Michael's little sister was a bit surprised as she looked to see who made a reply. "A post? By who, what does it say?" She mumbled to herself. The username who posted was called SunGoddess. The avatar's letters were made in white with a rainbow line trim on the out side of the words. Michael's sister grew in awe was excited and looked towards her post. The post said 'my what a lovely wish, I'm guessing the second one is your brothers?'. She was given a question and wasn't sure what to do but she found a button that said reply and clicked it. She then typed in 'yes, but, I think he wishes it because of me...I just wanted to be with my brother...' She sent the reply, and about 30 seconds later a new post was made by the SunGoddess. 'I understand, all brothers are like that.' Again Michael's sister made another reply. 'not like this, he treats me like I'm stupid and everyone else is lower thean him.' She sent the post, another one 30 seconds later, another post was made. 'Hum...really? Tell me more about your brother'. So she begins to type in everything she knows about him in the next post.

Michael's sister sent the post, she waited for about 3 minutes for the reply but nothing. And when she felt like there was no hope another reply came up. 'hum...my Michael does sound different, very different. What about you, what's your wish? I'm guessing the puppy is more of a Christmas wish thean a real one.' So she posts 'I want my brother's love, I want him to always be here, I don't want him to go away. I want him to be nice or at less call me by my name instead of stupid"

She sent the post. 30 seconds later SunGoddess made a reply "ah is that so, and what is your name'. She replied very quickly this time 'Amy'. The SunGoddess sent another message with a smily face 'well then Amy, I might be able to help but I need you to do something for me". Suddenly she got all excited, normal people wouldn't think this was possible but Amy was Naive. 'REALLY?! THANK YOU SO MUCH! So what do I have to do?' After Amy sent the post, the SunGoddess made a rather strange request that confused Amy. 'Watch over him while he's gone.' Amy didn't understand, he's going to leave? Where is he going? How can I watch over him when he's gone? She typed these questions in her next post and sent them. Yet there was no reply from the SunGoddess, Amy waited for what seemed like an hour, feeling like she was going to cry, feeling like it was her fault that her brother would disappear. Suddenly she ran away from the computer crying out "MOMMY!!!", leaving it on with the strange message.

It was around 9 o'clock that Michael returns to his room with his usual bitter self "Ugh, what a day, well it's a good thing I went to watch Southpark otherwise I've would have missed Jeff Dunham's performance, Walter is always the best," he said to himself softly. But he turned his attention to his computer and realized it was still on. "Ugh, for god's sake, Stupid, could you at less turn off my computer?" mumbling to himself as rolled the mouse button. "Disconnected? Huh...most likely stupid got herself banned from the site, what a surprise. Well whatever, not my problem."

Michael goes over and closes down his computer and heading off to bed, pulling off his shirt off and just throwing it on the floor. Suddenly slumping down onto his bed, his face into the pillow, slowly drifting to sleep as he talks to himself. "God I'm beat, what a day. Well suppose it's time to turn in... Like anything would change tomorrow, well my sister won't be here because of school, that's always a nice bonus. Sigh...Maybe I can finally play Skyrim...and, finally...slay...that f@#king...bone...dragon..." And like that, Michael was out like a light.

His mother came by his room to realize he left his light on. She went over to turn it off. She slowly closed the door soon after, but not before she gave a look at him and wished "I wish you could learn to love your sister... Why did you have to be such a special child...?" With that she closed the door, leaving her son in the dark to sleep.

His computer was still closing down, updating form the last installment to his firewall and when it seemed like it was about to shut off, it suddenly began to glow white and the screen came to life. A white like beam shined towards Michael, lighting the entire room with this strange vortex of color images and a white vortex. Michael wasn't phased by it, but his dreams began to become strange. Inside Michael's dream he was floating into what looked like a swirling vortex of bright lights and colourful images. 'Hum...wow what a weird dream, hee maybe I did crack without knowing it," she said softly laughing to himself as he walked around in his dream.

Then the vortex would began to suck and pull Michael, causing everything around him to stretch and pull. "W-what is this, holy S@#T am I dying? Wait, I didn't really mean I wanted to get away, not like this!" and before he could say anything else, he was pulled into the light. His computer that shined the white light upon him slowly faded away and became black, as if nothing had ever happened.

Chapter 1: New Beginning

A voiced spoke from the darkness, too quiet to hear, several voices were talking in the darkness and were getting louder. Michael was slowly waking up from the darkness as he could hear the voices, asking himself 'wha...who's there...mom is that you...or is that god, did I die?'. He slowly began to regain concussions hearing the last few words of the voices that were talking, "shh he's waiting up". Michael mutters to himself as he gets up from his sleep "ug wha-...what happened, where...where the hey am I?" he asked. Suddenly he was finally awake, feeling like he had been hit by a 44 semi-truck. Michael mumbles and groans a bit out of agony and splitting headache but was still able to look all around him to find himself, instead a tree, filled with books? This confused Michael greatly "Wow, I must be on drugs if I'm seeing this" He replied. "Are you ok?" a young female's voice called out next to him. He replied "ug, yeah, other then the fact I have a huge splitting headache and been through the most triply dream ever, yeah I'm just fine." His eyes would wonder around the place as he mutter to himself "In fact I think I'm still seeing things~..." His words would slowly fade as his eyes fell upon the one who was speaking to him. A purple Pony, with purple hair with pink lines through her hair, this pony also had a horn on top of her head and her massive dark purple eyes just staring a Michael. "Oh good I was worried, thought something bad happened to you" The young pony spoke. Michael just stared at her, no expression, no reaction, just his eyes glued at the pony. The young pony was feeling a little acquired about the whole situation so she tried saying some "um are you su-" but before she could finished Michael burst out with fright, freaking out as he crawled backs away form the pony

"WHAT THE FALL?! WHAT THE FALL?! WHAT THE FALL!!! THERE's A FALLING TALKING PURPLE HORSE!!". He would continue to back up until he bump into something, he would slowly turn around and sees a white pony with a purple fashionable hair and a horn"Pony actually. But then again, what were you expecting?" Once again he freaks out and tries to get up and run only to stubble a few feet. The fashionable pony spoke out feeling insulted "Well I never.". Michael would roll forward in front of another pony. This time a Pink pony with very puffy pink hair, but she wore sunglasses with a big nose and mustache "Surprise!". Once again he tried to get up and run this time successful. "Well thats not the reaction I was hoping for" The pink pony said disappointedly. Michael would suddenly run into another pony, this time a yellow horse with a cowboy hat on her head "OH hey yer awake" she would say. And you guess it, he freaks and runs, but this time into a closet, closing it and doing everything in his power to seal it.

"HOLY SHIRT HOLY SHIRT WHAT IS GOING ON!? OH GOD OH GOD!!....Why am I saying shirt...WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?!?". He could hear another voice, this one was a little ridged and told of a strong personality "Whats is his deal, its like he's never seen a pony before". Another voice replied to the question, this one was soft and quiet "well maybe, he hasn't or he's forgotten what a pony looks like". "What like Amnesia? No way, even ponies with Amnesia remember what a pony looks like, besides he already said 'horse'". The fashionable pony spoke out again "Well would you care to explain his rather strange reaction to us?". The voice of the purple pony spoke out "well we aren't going to find any answers by just standing here and arguing, why don't we just ask him ourselves." The doors of the closet would slowly open and the purple pony from before stood outside looking in on Michael

"Hey there's nothing to be afraid of, I'm-" Ruddily she was interrupted by Michael, by taking an item from the closet and swings it around in front of himself "BACK! BACK YOU FREAK OF NATURE!! I HAVE A WEAPON!". But the Purple pony wasn't phased as she stares at him "your going to fend me off with a broom?". Michael didn't have his eyes open but that quickly changed. He realizes the item in hand was hardly a weapon. "Well um...no...........LOOK JUST STAY BACK!! I KNOW KUNG FU!!". All the ponies just stared at him as they were just confused. The purple pony just spoke out softly "look we aren't trying to hurt you, we just want to talk". Michael just remained on guard "Oh right then you would slit my throat or stab me in the back with a knife when I have my guard down?". The ponies would look discussed at him, "wha...why on earth would we do that?! Do we look like we would want to harm you?". Michael realized that they were ponies and by the looks of them they couldn't even hurt a fly, they didn't have any weapons or even the ability to weld any. "Well...no...actually you don't even look like you could even hurt me" he replied calming down from the purple pony's reasoning.

"Well I'm glad to hear, then allow me to finally introduce myself and my friends. My name is Twilight Sparkle". Michael was a little baffled at the name "Twilight...Sparkle? Really? Really your name is Twilight...Sparkle...". Twilight stood there with pride, remarking "Yep, and this is Applejack" Pointing towards the yellow pony with the cowboy hat, softly speak "Howdy their partner, Nice ta meech yea". Then Twilight points towards the Pink pony commenting "this is Pinkie Pie". Pinkie Pie quickly spoke "Hi" then suddenly blew into a party whistle. Twilight then pointed to the the white pony with purple hair "This is Rarity". Rarity would commented "A pleasure". Twlight then points towards a blue pony with rainbow hair and tail all brushy with wings flapping, she was flying in the air. Twilight would comment "and this is-" but got interrupted by the blue flying pony "RAINBOW DASH!! THE MOST AWESOMEST PONY IN ALL OF PONYVILL!!"Rainbow dash comment and flying all around the room. Michael made a small comment "Ponyvill? wha...really...really?". Twlight then clears her voice with a cough, trying to continue "As I was saying... and finally" She points towards a yellow pony with pink hair wings like rainbow dash but yellow. "This is Fluttershy". Fluttershy was brushing her hove against the ground in a shy manner "Um...hello...i-it's nice to meet you".

Michael didn't know where to begin, this was all to strange and bazar yet too real to be a dream. Just unable to understand the strange names and the name of the village. "um...so let me get this straight, so your the female horse-" quickly was interrupted by Twilight "Pony". Michael continues, pointing to each and everyone one of them trying to figure things out "whatever... the 'pony' version of the Twilight series, your the limited edition cereal brand, the pink bakery, miss hard to find, the moving rainbow, and......well...her...um" Fluttershy spoke "Fluttershy" she said. "Right..." Michael finishes. The ponies were starting at Michael and how he was making fun of them. "Right...and you would be..." Twilight would ask. "Oh, and I'm Michael, you might have heard of me from all my accomplishments?"

The ponies where just looking at each other, confused "Michael? That's a rather strange name, what does it mean? Are you a singer? Michael is long term for Mike, like a Microphone" Pinkie Pie was asking these question while bouncing around with a large smile. Michael could tell this one was going to tick him off, "what? n-no why would you...? Wait, so you've never heard of me...Michael, Michael Heart?". All the ponies just shook their heads side to side. Michael was rather surprised. "Hee. Well I'll be damned, well whatever so uh...tell me do you know how I got here?" Michael asks the young ponies. "Well we just came back helping AppleJack's farm and we were planning to celebrate at my place after a hard days work and-" Twilight was cut off by Michael "I wasn't asking about what you were doing". Twilight just phased and stared, but would continue what she was saying " and we were relaxing and chatting when suddenly a portal opens up in the ceiling and you fell out of it." Twilight explains. Michael couldn't quiet understand as he stares towards Twilight.

"wait so you didn't summon me or anything?" Michael asks. "Nope" they all replied. "Well then if you didn't bring me here, who did?" Michael questions. Suddenly another voice spoke out "That would be my doing, Michael". Everyone turns towards the door and there stood a much larger white pony with a long sharp horn and quiet massive but impressive wings, rainbow hair and tail flowing softly like there was wind flowing, as if the very hairs were consist of magic. "Princess Celestia!" All the female ponies would cry out in delight, socked as they were, but quickly lowering their heads to her, bowing in respecting of her present. "Twlight, my most faithful student and your friends, its a pleasure to see you all again" Celestia remarked.

Michael on the other hand just stared towards her and just roll is eyes. "Oh brother..." Twilight quickly went up to michael and said "Show some respect your in the present of my Mentor." Rarity quickly added "And Royalty". But Michael just didn't care "what? Well I couldn't care, if she was queen of the dung patch" Twilight was getting upset and spoke out towards Michael "Now you see here Michael" But before Twilight could continue, Princess Celestia step forth and spoke "Its quiet alright Twilight, I can take it from here" Twilight step down saying softly "um Yes of course Princess". Princess Celestia spoke once again "Now then, Michael. Its a pleasure to finally make your aquitaine" She said softly "finally someone who knows me" Michael responded. "But of course, your sister told me everything about you" Princess Celestia commented. "Really you don't say- wait...what...my sister, you spoke with stupid?" Michael looked at Celestia quiet surprised. "Yes, but you shouldn't speak such ill of your sister" She said softly. "Why not she has only been a pain in my butt for as long as I can remember" He remarked, giving quiet the annoyed expression.

"Hum...then it would seem I've done the right thing to bringing you here" Princess Celestia was now full of confidence. "wait...What...you were the one who brought me here?" Michael just stood there, seeming a little ticked and shocked. "Yes, and as I said before, I read everything from your sister's post she sent. And it seem to me, you need to be tough a bit about friendship". Michael would just stare at her for a long quiet moment, then suddenly burst out into laughter "F-friendship?! AHAHAHAHAHA You've got to be kidding me! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I've never heard of something so stupid in my life! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" He was Rolling all over the ground laughing. He looked to the Princess after laughing, but there she stood, still giving the same clam smile. Michael then realized, she was not joking "wait, your serious aren't you?". "And why would I need to make a joke Michael?" She remarked. "HUH?! Ok look, I don't need friendship, I got by on my own without anyones help in fact, I become a prodigy where I came from without anyones help. So as much as I 'appreciate' what your trying to do, its not needed. Thank you"

Michael would slowly get up on his legs and trying to walk but as soon as he did he instantly fell down because he didn't seem to have a proper balace anymore. "Ah w-whats going on?" Michael asked still confused as to why he fell. "Well Silly ponies don't walk on 2 legs, they walk on four" Pinkie Pie cheerfully explained. "What? What do you mean ponies, I'm a human, humans walk on 2 legs". The others look to each other not sure what he meant. "Human? whats a human?" Rainbow dashed asked. "What...what do you mean whats a human? I'm a human, standing before you" he got up on his legs but felt something a little different. AppleJack put her own two cents into the conversation "human? The only thing I see is ah confused pony who doesn't know what he is, or how ta walk upright". " Or walk forward" Pinkie Pie would add, giggling with a snort. Twilight Sparkle would summon her magic with her horn and brought over a hand mirror to Michael. "Perhaps you need a second glance at who you are" She would explain with a soft giggle.

Michael stared into the mirror, seeing they were all right, his face had been changed, red and black, with big red eyes. "w-wait is that...me" Michael asked. All the ponies would nod their heads, Michael took a long moment to process what was going on, and it then it hit him like a meteorite. He began to freak and panic as he looks all around his new body "Wait no ah...hooves?" he asked waving his hooves in front of his face. He looks back and shakes his tail"a brushy tail? A Horse like BODY!?!....I'm....I'm". The 6 close friends would all say together at once, finishing Michael's sentience "A Pony!!". http://tinypic.com/v...pic=1ze8v1g&s=5

Michael's suddenly just broke, with his left eye twitching and his body, standing so still that not even a statue could imitate. Twilight was a little afraid to ask, but she knew what was going to happen. "Oh great, here we go again...Hey Michael you going to be ok..?". His head slowly turns towards Twilight, broken and looked like he's gone insane, hist body was shaking as he spoke "I'm....Just...Peachy...PEACHY... Why wouldn't I be OK?!... because this all a dream, because none you or this is real, and my food was drugged by my mother and my sister is forcing me to watch my little pony in my sleep, THATS WHY I'M HAVING THIS CRAZY DREAM?! HAHAHA HAHAHAHA!". Rainbow Dash just bluntly spout out "yep, he's cracked".

Twilight tried to clam Michael again "hey Michael, everything isn't as bad as it seems.". Michael snapped out of it, looking towards Twilight in a sarcastic tone "oh yeah, because being turned into a pony, being kidnapped and brought into a world of my worst nightmares is something that I've always wanted!" But rage Michael consumed Michael as he it as he stops his front right hove down on the ground looking towards Princess Celestia, lowering his head as if he was really to attack her. But said nothing, he did nothing for what seemed forever, but he slowly raises a smile as he slowly raises his head back up, looking towards the Princess with a more possitive body and facial expression. Fluttershy spoke softly "Oh...Well...he's taking this well". Michael then asked the Princess "Princess Celestia could I possibly make a simply, teny, tiny, request". Princess Celesita softly nods and asks "But of course Michael, what request might that be?". Softly Michael breaths in and holds his breath for a moment, before suddenly yelling at the top of is lungs towards the Princess, causing a massive wind storm "GIVE ME MY FILPING BODY BACK RIGHT NOW YOU INCOMPETENT HUMAN SNACKING SON OF A HORSE!!! In fact while your at it SEND ME BACK HOME THIS INSTANCE!!!".

Fluttershy grew so tariffed that she hid in the closet that Michael was in, looking like she was about to cry and gave a small quiet remark "Or not...". Princess Celestia was a bit blowed away by what Michael just said "Oh my" she remarked. The other girl were just in awe for as they were at a lost for words. Twilight was now so enraged she never had this feeling before, such anger and hatred that she she was unable to speak properly for several moments, stuttering her words for the longest time. She then gathered her thoughts and words together and finally was able to speak her mind "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO THE PRINCESS LIKE THAT!!! I don't know who you think who you are but nopony , AND I MEAN NOPONY has the rights to speak to the princess like that" Her magical powers began to grow out of control as books, objects and items began to swirl all around the room, seeming like she was going to unleash her wraith upon Michael. "But of course Michael" The Princess said softly

All the ponies, specially Twilight were in surprised by what the Princess said, saying "huh?" at the exact same time. This caused Twilights magic to suddenly flash away, and all the books,objects and items that were swirling around the room fall to the floor. Michael was a little surprised "what really? Well that was easy" He told to himself with pride. Twilight wondered her way back to the Princess speaking "Princess, your not really going to actually make his request? Even after what he called you?!". "Why yes Twilight I will, he has to do something for me" Celestia said softly. Michael was a little curious to her request "oh and that is?". Celsetia would summon her magic as a piece of paper would appear before Michael with a flash of light "I need you to complete all the tasks on this paper". Michael just stares at the piece of paper "um...its blank". Celestia would speak again "Oh, better have another look". Michael was looking at the Princess shaking his head and then looked back down at the piece of paper, but this time he was in shock. Words were appearing on the piece of paper as it give Michael a list of things to do. "wha-wha- what is this?" he asked. "This is what we call a Quest Paper" Celestia explains.

Twilight's know it all insticks kicked in and began to spew words of knowledge from her muzzle"wait, Quest Paper? As in, the Quest paper that many famous wizards/sorceress and adventures use to explore and keep track of their objectives?! They say the Quest Paper has a mind of its own, they are creative from some of the most powerful magic in all of Equestria. Not only doesn't it have a map of all of Equestira, it can show you where you are on the map. But its most amazing feature, is that it has ability to connect to its users mind, guiding them to where ever they are needed! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THESE!!". Twilight's eyes were gleaming with sparkles as if she was the happiest pony in all of Equestria. The Princess just gives a small giggle "Why yes Twilight, that is correct, I think we can all see why your my number one student". Twilight lite up like a Christmas tree as her large delight smile across her face from ear to ear. Michael on the other hand just rolls his eye balls muttering, "Nerd". Twilight's expression faded as there was still much hatred towards Michael as Twilight just glares at Michael

"Princess, my apologizes for questioning your reason but...Why in all of Equestria would you would you give him, out of all ponies, a Quest Paper? Why not your most faithful, loyalest and hardest working student?" Twilight was begging the Princess with her eyes practically. The Princess just gives a small laugh as she looks down towards Twilight and said "Because you already have Spike Twilight, he is your assistant after all, besides this isn't permeant, just temporally" She would explain. Twilight was quiet disappointed but had to accept it, no matter how much she hated the idea of Michael having the Quest Paper. MIchael gave a small smile to Twilight that said 'in your face' but would quickly turn back to the Princess. Michael turns his attention to the Princess, asking her "So this quest paper is suppost to give me the things I need to do? Alright this should be easy". "Not so fast Michael, you will also need to learn the meanings of friendship, this Quest Paper will help you learn and obtain these goal" Celsetia explained. Michael felt like he was back at square one with the Princess "What? This again? Look I don't need friendship as I told you, I can get by just fine, I'll do everything on the, piece of paper But I don't need friendship." Michael was confident in his statement.

"Well thats too bad Michael, because, if you don't learn the meanings of friendship, you'll never complete the list". Celestia explained. Michael's eyes grow wide as he stares at the princess "Say what...". "And if you don't complete the list within the year, you will be sent back to the first day you came to Ponyvill, starting from scratch with a whole new load of quests." Celestia added. "SAY WHAT?! YOUR KIDDING ME... YOUR FRINGING KIDDING ME!!" Michael was about to go crazy "AH!! GOD DANG IT!". Celestia gave a small giggle, understanding Michael's frustration but it was necessary. "Good luck to you Michael, I'll be watching your progress, you will also have report to me every time you learn something about friendship." Michael just couldn't believe what was going on he felt like this was all set up by his sister at home some how some way, his hatrad for his sister grew as he was coming up with a plan to get back at her when he returned home. "Oh and Twilight, could you also do something for me" Celestia asked. "Yes Princess Celestia? Is there something your most faithful, loyalest and hardest working student can do for you?". She said with respect bowing slowly before her. Michael just muttered to himself "suck up". Twilight gives another glare of hated towards Michael. Celestia then asked "Could you be Michael's mentor, make sure he keeps on track" Twilight at first was respectful and not really catching it, softly spoke "yes of course Princ~-WHAT?!" Until now.

(Too be continued)

Edited January 24, 2012 by PrinceHeru

[Nasty]

Alright. I read the prologue thus far, I'll get to the first chapter afterward. For starters, I really like the characters. I enjoy not always having a likable good guy protagonist. The story line is rather nice, you have something going here.

Grammar is another thing. I do realize that no one gets it perfect, but there's a lot of mistakes that can be fixed. Paragraphing is another thing, while you have some, you aren't paragraphing... correctly. Remember, you make a new paragraph whenever someone speaks as well.

Fix up these issues and this story will really shine. Good job so far.

[PrinceHeru]

Alright. I read the prologue thus far, I'll get to the first chapter afterward. For starters, I really like the characters. I enjoy not always having a likable good guy protagonist. The story line is rather nice, you have something going here.

Grammar is another thing. I do realize that no one gets it perfect, but there's a lot of mistakes that can be fixed. Paragraphing is another thing, while you have some, you aren't paragraphing... correctly. Remember, you make a new paragraph whenever someone speaks as well.

Fix up these issues and this story will really shine. Good job so far.

Thank you, but I'm not really sure how to do this correctly tho which is the issue and I've already spend 6 hours writing it and 3 hours editing it. What I really need is an editor to help me, I'm doing everything I can to fix everything but I some how continue to make more mistakes then fix them.

[Nasty]

I see. Well, I'll grab your story and edit it for you. I'm happy to help other writers. Now, I won't change how it's written, but I'll fix misspelled words and pop in some paragraphs, alright?

Would you like me to list the changes I made and why? Expect it tomorrow or the day after, I might be leaving soon.

That is if you want me to. if I'm invading then by all means tell me.

[PrinceHeru]

I see. Well, I'll grab your story and edit it for you. I'm happy to help other writers. Now, I won't change how it's written, but I'll fix misspelled words and pop in some paragraphs, alright?

Would you like me to list the changes I made and why? Expect it tomorrow or the day after, I might be leaving soon.

That is if you want me to. if I'm invading then by all means tell me.

COULD YOU!! OH MY GOD YOUR A LIFE SAVER MAN! Thank you thank you thank you! Oh man you've saved me at less 15 hours of editing lol. Please do help me when you can, I'm most likely be writing the next chapter after new years day. Again thank you if you could help me.

As long as it doesn't change the story or change any of the events I would love to them to be listed.

[Nasty]

Don't worry, I'm happy to help. I'll put in brackets. Writing requires help from others. You'll notice I finished making my story and it has little to no replies other than me pathetically bumping it ^_^

[PrinceHeru]

hum I see then, alright then can't wait, alright then please let me know when your done editing and thank you so much once again

[Nasty]

Alright, I fixed up the story a bit. The story is good, but the grammar is a problem. I know you may find this part tough, but I know you can do it Even if you end up with mistakes, I don't give a damn because you tried your best, end eventually, you'll be pwning everyone with grammar and become a Grammar Nazi

I'd like to inform you of repeated mistakes. Basically, the real meat of your mistakes came from dialogue. The dialogue was great, I liked the relations between the two siblings. But, here's some rules:

When it comes to quotations, the ending of your sentences (meaning '.', '?'. '!'.) have to be inside of them. Example: George sighed, “Jesse, just please stop being mean.” You should start a new paragraph whenever someone new speaks as well. Also, when someone speaks, the first letter should be capitalized, but if they speak again in the same sentence, have it like this: “George, I see something weird,” Jake said, “and it keeps on coming at us!” Also, whenever you end your dialogue, you should have a comma after it (inside the quotation mark) to make it flow. Example: “Josef, I see your pet skunk,” Tray said.

I made a lot of changes to your wording which you may have been wondering about. Like, for instance: “She grasps the frying pan she was cleaning and quickly lifts it high into the air.” You were telling the story as though it were just happening, like “Bob punches the monster.” It sounds better if everything were past tense, because that's what the story is. “Bob punched the monster,” or in your case, “She grabbed the frying pan and quickly lifted it into the air.”

Commas are your friend! When you're writing the story, or when you're writing someone's dialogue, read it aloud. You may feel that there should be a small break in their speech or in the way the story is telling things. For example: “Um, Josef, what is that?” If there weren't any commas, it would look and sound like this: “Um Josef what is that?” Another example: “Hamish continued to walk, but he still grew tired.”

Keep working on these key problems and your spelling, and your story will continue to be great.

I read Chapter 1 as well, but I decided to let you fix it up. It will serve as an exercise, so to speak, for you to train yourself. Using the advice I gave you, try and fix up Chapter 1 as best as you can. If you have any problems, PM me. I'm not always on, but I usually am on at least once a day at around the same time. So, if you need any further help or if you have any questions, just ask

I'm looking forward to your next chapter

[PrinceHeru]

Chapter 2: A New Name

Twilight just stares at the princess in shocked, unable to believe what the princess had just asked of her. "Princess, you can't be serious of what your asking". But Celesita was quiet straight forward with what she had told Twilight, she gave a nod and said "and why would I joke with you Twilight?". Twilight responded trying to be kind as possible "Princess Celestia, I respect your wishes all of your commands but...this....THIS!... How do you expect to teach someone like...like...him?!" The Princess spoke softly once more "That is because you have the most experience, learning about friendship, and would make the best mentor to teach someone like Michael to learn the meanings of friendship. Besides one of the many meanings of friendship is teaching others about it". Twilight remarked "For those who wish to learn it". Celestia replied "Patients Twilight Sparkle, he just might yet surprise you". Twilight was confident that she wouldn't be see anything in Michael but she couldn't find the words to talk her way out of this "I...he...GRRR............sigh, yes your majesty..." Twilight spoke in defeat. "Thank you Twilight, now then I must go Twilight. Royal duty calls, *giggles* do try to get along you two, fare well" She said softly leaving the library fallowed by Rarity "well now I wish you luck Twilight, I'm sure you will be able to teach him much". Twilight stops Rarity before leaving "Wait your not going to stay and help?" Rarity replies "well um...as much as I would love to stop and help you Twilight I um...have my mats to clean, yes very very busy as you see so I shall see you around" without another word she was gone out the door. "Yeah um...I have cloud duty to do so see yeah" Rainbow Dash fallowed soon after. "Well ya know I love ta stay and help but ah, Fluttershy looks like she needs more help." Apple jack was next to leave who was carrying Fluttershy, who was still shivering and clench to a broom unable to say anything. Pinkie Pie look around the room for a moment to see she was the last one around, but out of thin air she said "Bye!" and dashes out of the door.

"I don't blame them, if I had the option I would ditch you too" Michael commented. Twilight just sighs out of agony, slowly making her way towards the door saying "come on, no point wasting a good day like this indoors". Spike opened the door with a large slam saying "Twilight I'm, oh there you are, are we going anywhere?" he asked. Twilight suddenly took Spike's tail into her mouth and while saying "we are now". "But what about the the check list" Spike asked. Twilight sighed as she used her magic from her horn to pull a scroll from the pile and wonder out the door. Michael soon fallowed after.

As the three of them wondered through while spike rides on Twilight back. But suddenly Spike asked "So who are you, are you from around these parts?" Asking Michael these questions "nope...And they call me Michael, Michael heart and...keh...you would be...Keheheheh" Michael couldn't help but stare at Spike, giggling to himself. Spike spoke out with pride as he said "I'm spike, Twilight's assistant". Michael continued to giggle and laugh as he said "really... keeh so then....hpf...Are you...keh... related to...pfhhfhhfhf. Barniey the Dinosaur because you look just like his son. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Or He finally got himself a dog! BAHAHAHAHAHA" Michael was laughing like crazy. But Spike wasn't amused and just turned towards Twilight shrugging his shoulders not understanding. Twilight replied "don't ask, it must one of those, 'human' things". Spike asked Twilight "Human? Never heard of them before, are they a new type of pony?" Spike then examines Michael and said "Well he certainly does look a little different". Twilight comes to the park on a hill side and bumps Spike off "Come on Spike I need you to help us with the quest paper"

Spike said "Quest paper?! REALLY WHERE!!...Wait a minuet, you didn't replace me, did you?" Twilight simply explains "nope for its not mine, its Michael's here. The Princess gave it to him while she was here" Spike then panic a little as he said "THE PRINCESS IS HERE?! OH MY GOSH!! How am I looking? Are my Scales alright?!". Twilight then stopped spike "she's gone already spike, there is no need for you to worry". Spike then seemed a little disappointed "oh...well...wish I was there when she was". Twilight then snapped Spike back into the task at hand "Focus spike, what does the quest paper say?". Spike then took the quest paper in hand and said "Oh right um...hum...lets see here" he said opening the quest paper as it show a list of what to do first, the first set of list saying "First thing to do is come up with a name for...Michael, why do we need to come up with a name for Michael?". Michael added "I second Spikes logical answer, my name is just fine". Twilight the respond "Well if you want to explain everyone how you got your bazar name and where you came from". Michael saw the reasoning by is "fine..."

Michael continued "So what name shall we come up with, I'm guessing their are rules to naming someone". Twilight respond "well names are given by their talents or given names after families like Applejack's family for instant, their entire side of the family generally deal with apples so Apple might be part of their name. Or even by their color. But there are many ways to name someone". Michael didn't have a huge understanding "so I could be named anything, sort of like a super heroes name". Twilight didn't know about that but it was alright "well yeah I suppose". Michael then instantly blurred out a name "Even names Wolverine or Batman?". Spike remarked "Um, no offence, but you don't related to Wolverines or Bats for that manner, nor look like one so how about something more simpler". Michael then gave a long thought and looked at the color as his fur "How about Flash". Twilight responded "um, you don't look like the racing type of pony, besides such names would be given after Sky Ponies or other wise known as Pegasus"

Michael was having a tough time as every idea he thought of was shot down, then he came out with one "Darkfire?".Twilight was about to say something then gave it some thought, as it had a good ring to it and seem to be fitting for Darkfire "hum...yeah...that could work, alright then Darkfire it is then, Spike check it down if you could". Spike was already on it, checking the box and writing Darkfire on the list. A new objective appeared on the quest paper, Spike read the objective out loud "Ah something else came up on the paper, lets see here. It says 'Find a job to do in ponyvill". Suddenly Darkfire got excited "Wait... a job, you mean I'll be able to do something?! You mean actual work?!". Twilight was a little surprised "um, well so it seems". Darkfire burst out with excitement as he was jumping for joy "YES FINALLY! I GET TO WORK HA HA! And by the looks of this place it seem like I could do just about anything. So then what kind of jobs are there?". Twilight was rather surprised but was glad to see Darkfire getting excited about something "well I'm glad to hear it, its lucky for you I know the town so well, here are the list of jobs that you can do".

Darkfire's rudely interrupted "Dargonslaying?"; Twilight was a little surprised "um...no we don't have anything like that". Darkfire asked "Bounty hunter?"; Twilight again said "um...no". Darkfire was getting rather disappointed "Goblin Exterminator?!"; Twilight once again shakes her head side to side not saying anything. Darkfire got frustrated and disappointed "ug I though this place might actually be exciting but of course I was wrong...sigh...I suppose having Blacksmith wouldn't be on the list either". But Twilight gave a cheerful and delight "Yes we do, we actually have been needing a local Blacksmith for sometime, are last one left 20 years ago, most of are metal is imported out of town". Darkfire was rather surprised about this but felt a little delighted "oh really, good at less this place has something. I'll take that then". Twilight looked towards Spike feeling like they were making progress, Spike was already making a check mark in the box writing Blacksmith next to the box. Suddenly the paper flashed and disappeared, leaving a trail of magic behind.

Twilight responded "hey that must be the trail the quest paper left behind, it must be leading to the abandon smelter". Twilight and spike quickly chased after the magical trail, Darkfire was also a little surprised but seeming someone happy about this, he commented "Wow, this takes be back to the days when I was playing Fable 2 and 3. Not bad games but they could have been a bit better". Twilight and Spike had no idea what he meant but didn't really care as they would soon come to the old smelther and wondered inside. Twilight asked "Hello?"; but Darkfire rudely stated "why are you saying hello there will be no one here-". A Voice called out from the darkness "hello there". Darkfire panic "What who's there?! Show yourself?!"; the voiced called out once again "relax dear boy, I'm over here by the anvil". Darkfire wondered over to the anvil, looking all around but seeing no one. The voice called out again "down here youngster"; and Michael looked down to see a glowing hammer for when ever it spoke the glow would grow bright"Ah finally you know how long I've been-". Twilight freaked out and ran behind Darkfire "OH MY GOSH ITS A GHOSTS ITS A GHOST!!"

The hammer spoke "Wha- I'm no ghost, I'm an enchanted hammer!". Suddenly Twilight's fear turned into shock "wait...a enchanted hammer?! But aren't you suppost to be a soul trapped inside an object, the only reason why they would do that is because they have unfinished business, much like a ghost". The Voice spoke out again "I'm not a ghost for a last time but you are correct little lady"; Darkfire then asked "and what is such a item like yourself doing in such a place like this, and for that matter what is your purpose?". The voice called out "I'm glad you ask wipper snapper for you see, I've been stuck this old shack for the last 20 years, waiting for an appearance to come and learn the ways of the forge". Darkfire's eyes grew with awe as he felt like this was a grand adventure "really...oh my gosh this feels just like an actual adventure! So let me guess, you'll be teaching me how to forge weapons to slay the greatest evils of this land". But the hammer was blunt and said "um...no..."; Darkfire's heart sunk as once again he was disappointed. But the hammer spoke once again "but I will be teaching you how to forge some of the greatest steel and metals in all of Equestria. For I'm the one they call 'IronForge'".

Darkfire rolled his eyes as that was the simplest name he ever heard, but Twilight on the other hoof was surprised "Wait IronForge? Weren't you just Ponyvill's blacksmith? I thought you left town?". IronForge was a little shocked "What? Well of course not dear child, I embed myself in this hammer to carry on my legacy and my teachings." The three of them just stare at Ironforge, IronForge spoke "Well um...I maybe a common blacksmith but I knew the secrets to forging some of the greatest metals in all of Equestria, I just um...never...got my hands on the...better...metals........BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT!! Look I know why you've come here, you want to learn the ways of the blacksmith yes". Darkfire softly nodded "Thats correct"; IronForge spoke once again "Then I shall teach you how to become one of the greatest forgers in all of Equestria and teach you everything I know my dear Clot, but first things first, we need to fix up the shack". The three ponies looked around the shack to see it was old, rundown and breaking apart, Darkfire commented "yah think".

IronForge spoke once again "well nothing will get done by standing around, lets get hopping to it, it may take all day but I'm sure we'll make this shining like new, or at less, working. So Get on it sonny". Darkfire then stopped for a moment "Wait where is my Quest paper?!". He looked around all the room thinking it maybe here. IronForge spoke "what you mean this thing underneath me?". The Quest Paper was laying underneath IronForge as they didn't see it there before, IronForge spoke "it woke me up from my delightful slumber, but it told me that you would be coming". Darkfire took the quest paper back into is mouth and said "wait, it spoke to you?". IronForge spoke "sure did, now lets stop wasting time you got yer paper, lets get working!". Twilight spoke to Spike "well lets get working nothing will get done around here, Spike lets go back and get our stuff shall we?". Spike was quick to respond "Yes sir!"; quickly the two of them rushed off to grab their basic repair gear. IronForge spoke "well lets get to work!". DarkFire sighs to himself unable to believe what was happening to him.

Too Be continued