Dear Journal,

Well I have a confession to make to you today. It's something that I never really discussed with any other pony, but I have to wonder if others know by interpreting "the signs," those little cues ponies can pick up if they focus on another intently. Facial expression, eye movement and contact, what is said and now said, word usage, voice inflection, body language, these are all clues to the truth, and honestly I'm not a good liar at all. I can barely tell a joke without giving away the punchline. I'm not as bluntly honest as Applejack, but while secrets can be kept, lies are impossible to tell.

Silly me, here I go again trying to avoid the issue on my mind like so many times before. Fine, no more hiding this. I need to tell this secret or else I might explode! So here it goes...

I like Twilight Sparkle.

That wasn't so bad, I only felt like I was going to pass out twice writing that. To clarify, I don't just like her as a friend who's a mare, I like her as a marefriend. You have to understand a little about my relationship status. I'm perpetually single. It's not that I'm inept to relationships, but starting one is slow for me. I don't know why honestly. Sure I'm not the most athletic pony but I think that this isn't much of a factor now. It's just that every mare I met either had a stallion or in some cases another mare in their lives already or they didn't see me as somepony that they could love like that, relegating me to being "just friends." We all know though how awkward things are once you declare your love for somepony and after being rejected how the way former friends now look at each other. So I am very careful doing that as there are typically two conclusions: being a marefriend or losing the entire relationship.

That's the main reason why I haven't told Twilight yet. We have a friendship it's true, but does she see me more that that like I do? Can I risk my friendship and even my career for this? I know I sound like the who knows how many others who have a fancy with the Princess, but mine isn't some passing fling that vanishes when the next interest passes by. She is everything I could want in a marefriend: smart, kind, confident, caring, and always looking at the world as if to wait for new experiences. I don't know if I'll ever meet another pony like her. But do I dare disturb the universe? It's so hard to read Twilight's reactions towards me, harder than anypony I've known. Oh I wish she would just tell me, no matter what direction it goes! Then I'd know. It kills me not to know something so important like this! I feel like a coward writing this here and not telling her. Am I that afraid of rejection or do I feel I have nothing to offer her, no love in me? It's a question without an answer, a mystery wrapped in secrecy. One day I hope to gather up the nerve to tell her how I feel, and may the truth set my heart and mind free.

Your Faithful and Love Sick Librarian,

Lore Weaver