weesh

I was just contacted by a middle school friend who confessed that she had a crush on me. Things started getting awkward. Then they got really awkward.

I don't eat enough food. I'm not sure why. I'm 12 pounds under my minimum ideal rate and falling.

Apparently I don't do enough manual labor. I got blisters after just 20 minutes of using a pick.

Today I was determined to get to work first. So I arrived at 6:00am, only to discover that a co-worker beat me by a minute. My Life is Average.

I accidentally sold three $20 magic cards for $40 on ebay. I ship for free the day the auction is won. The feedback? "ok". What does it take to get a "good" out of you?

D'oh. I just left work early to go kayaking with a friend, but he is MIA. I wonder where he is...

I damaged one of my car's rims going over a pothole. I could get a new, non-matching rim for $100, or I could get a set of aftermarket rims for $500. I don't know what to do.

My mind is like a well oiled eagle.

Today I broke a nail. The nail on the middle finger of my right hand. The one that lets me pluck three strings on a guitar at the same time. I am sad.

...and I had a feeling that I belonged, and I had a feeling I could be someone...

Today I was hanging license plates on one of my walls, and I put four nails in my mouth for easy access. Two of them disappeared. I discovered them later, sticking out of my beard.

They say that a sharp knife is safer than a dull knife. My kitchen knives are so dull, that they have become safe again.

The more direct and focused humor is, the fewer people that get it. I am glad I have a co-worker on the same wavelength as myself.

My mom hurt her back today, and maybe she has to cancel her trip to see me. I only see her a couple times a year and that would be sad.

Spa Ponies!

It turns out that giving money is not a substitute for giving yourself.

This is very much like becoming aware that you are in the path of a freight train after it has already run over your foot.

Why don't we do something that has a higher chance of success? Like buying a lottery ticket? From last year?

I went fishing last week. But it wasn't just for the halibut, it was to spend time with my sister.

Beware the Pies of March

adorable green rat bunnies have problems too...

Help!

I'm a conundrum wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in pastry, wrapped in a lie

Yankee Doodle came to town // Riding on a Pony // Stuck a feather in his cap // And called it Macaroni

Good news on my grandma, she doesn't actually need bypass surgery. Nothing is wrong with her heart or lungs, but they still don't know why she has been fainting.