EquestrianScholar

So does no comments mean it is good?

Welcome, it is a pleasure to see another newcomer

Aw I see... that would come as a shock to such a mare.

Yes that is what I was thinking as well, which is why I said he was foalish. Laughs, lets see he meets up with a stallian for the first time that is feeling down and 'helps' him feel better in a public place where anypony could walk by and see them. Though one question, as it would be suprising to see even a couple of guards near a park at any given moment (never seemed to be that many anywhere but the palace), how would the mare's screams have brought Secret's comrades and thus led to his discharge? (Gets an image of a mare walking past and hearing noises, seeing the stallians and starts yelling them as the two hurry off away from the mare as fast as they can.) Yes I would suggest rewording it but I would suggest also changing when and how he got his cutie mark. One's cutie mark normally appears when one has discovered one's talent and more so realize this after having just don't something involving it... at least that is how I have always seen it. Not sure if this site has a different ruling on how a pony get cutie marks. Never heard anypony waking up with a cutie mark, heck if it was that easy the CMC might already have theres... seems too simple. -shrugs- This is just my way of looking at it, you don't have to take any of my suggestions as I am still pretty much a newcomer to this site. There just seem to be a few things in your bio that didn't make sense and I am bringing them up. Hope I have giving you useful criticism.

Interesting, though it suprised me when it turned out he was a coltcuddler... but it seems to work out. I say good job, I personally don't see any problems with it really. Though I am a bit confused why he was discharged as while it was foalish for him to to what he did in a public place (if I am reading it right) the outcome seemed a bit extreme. Also the cutie mark just appearing doesn't make much sense, and "He got his cutie mark when he realized that his goal in life was to become a caring lover" doesn't seem like a talent exactly as a goal isn't a talent. So it leaves me asking what is his talent? Is his talent showing compassion and empathy? All in all it is a good bio but parts are a bit confusing and unclear.

Thank you One thing I always found interesting is on creating Mythos I realized he would make an interesting 'information gather', as he could apply his talent of 'finding a good story and retelling it' (he is a storyteller and a fair example of a scholar) to finding 'stories' others want to know. Which is way I added that in as a secondary occupation. Also, the cousin I have mentioned, Sundipple, I can change that to be any pony on here if someone has a filly that would like to have an extra cousin.

Twilight and Rarity, next being Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and then Applejack. Now I have a question, perhaps a silly one but still, has Princess Celestia evolved at all? Luna has a bit but she only had one episode....

Roleplay Type: Mane Name: Mythos Gray Sex: Male Age: Stallion Species: Unicorn Coat Color: A soft gray color Mane/Tail Color: Pure white mane and tail. Eye Color: Purple Cutie Mark: An open book with a fire breathing dragon's head poking out the book (a book for the stories he finds an tells other and the dragon to show his ability to make the stories 'come to life') Physique: Fit, yet lean. He keeps himself in shape but still clearly not very strong or tough. Handsome, and with a soft smiling almost always on his face as if he find the world amusing. His mane and tail is well combed but, is the type that doesn't need to spend much time in front of the mirror. Origin: Originally from Canterlot and still has a home there, but also travels fairly often. Occupation: Entertainer publicly but secretly is a freelancer that has worked for different groups and individuals who need somepony to find something out for them. Motivation: Always out for finding a good story and to have fun as well as to meet new ponies. Wants to find out which legends are true and to learn that which history does not tell... like for example the origins of Equestria beloved rulers Celestia and Luna. Likes: Pretty fillies and mares, stories and books, music, meeting interesting and important ponies. Dislikes: Those that are too serious, violence against fillies/mares/and foals, those that show rudeness or disrespect (especially to fillies and mares), those that speak without thinking, a filly or mare showing themselves disrespect or putting themselves down. Character Summary: Mythos was born in a well to do Canterlot family who always seemed to be busy being involved in some social function or event. His father Brightstrings being an extremely skilled violinist and his mother Autumnheart a well respected private teacher of the history of Equestria. As a foal Mythos had plenty of time to himself, where he learned how to read as well as play music on the piano and violin. Yet while reading came easy to him, the musical arts were much harder. Yet Mythos was even at this young age a determinant lad and he actually did become fairly good at these instruments. As time went on Mythos expand his studies to not only the basics he needed to know but more, learning all he could on Equestrian history, myths, legends, and even tails from other lands. While leaving piano playing mostly behind he did continue practicing his violin, wanting his father to be proud of how well he could play. Yet he still hadn't discovered his Talent, which frustrated him and pushed him to try new things. Now like all self respecting unicorn he learned to use magic, and from youth he studied what he could on it. Yet that to seemed slowing going, but eventually he found he seemed to have an affinity to illusionist based magic and spells more then any other type. Surprisingly for some he started to become quite skilled at illusions or as he called it illustrations. When Mythos gained his cutie mark was interesting, as it was during a family party that his parents had prepared him for so that he would act the way he should. While looking around young Mythos noticed a young filly that seemed to not be enjoying herself and took it upon himself to cheer her up. Walking of to the filly Mythos smiles and introduced himself as he had been told to do by his father and asked what was wrong. Founding out she was his cousin as well as that her name Sundipple and explain that she hadn't wanted to go to the party in the first place. Calling her Sunny Mythos asked if she would like to hear a story he had read. Interested the filly nodded as Mythos started, concentrating his magic so that he could created the illustrations he had been practicing though they were like rough drawings. Smiling he told his story with all the emotion he could and started to catch the attention of others. By the end of the story there were ponies laughing and nodding at Mythos before he was hugged by Sunny as she thanked him. It was at this time that Sunny noticed Mythos cutie mark, which was an open book and a dragon that seemed to fly out of the pages and breath fire at the reader. With all the commotion Mythos parents walked over to see what was going on and grew excited when they saw his cutie mark. The rest of the party seemed to end even better then expected, and Mythos got to talk with a few of the adults because of what had happened as well as spend more time with Sundipple. As time went on Mythos grew into a young colt, and requested that he could go traveling around Equestria, wanting to see all the cities and town in Equestria. His parents were unsure, but agreed after a bit of discussion. Allowing Mythos to go off on his own as long as he promise to write weekly and tell his parents about his travels. Once he grew tire on traveling, though her greatly enjoyed doing so, he returned home to tell his parents what he had found and discovered as well as others that would listen. After about a week from when Mythos returned to Canterlot, deciding it was time to put his travel on pause and decided to step into the Canterlot elite as an entertainer and storyteller, showing himself gifted as such and finding use for all the skills he had learned when young and during his travels. Using his magic and his knowledge he weaved impressive stories as well as even played his violin at times. Yet it was during this time that he took up other work as well, finding himself with offers to find information or to learn about this pony or another. It didn't take long for him to realize he could earn more as a freelancer then for entertaining. It was around this time Mythos met a certain dark blue pegasus, who quickly caught his interest because of how pretty and nervous she was. It didn't take long for him to find out her name was Stardream and that she was with an assistant to an astrologer. After this meeting came many more and Mythos became quite close to to Stardream, fond even though he wouldn't admit to being in love with her. After dating for a time Mythos even consider being with just Stardream, to actually have a relationship but it would seem that wasn't to be. Now Mythos had not gone out of his way to hide his activities from Stardream but neither did he ever go into details on them. Partly because even he knew he was at times working for ponies who were not of good character. Who wanted him to give them the means to cause trouble for others and bring themselves up. He was not proud of this but at the same time he did not see a reason to stop. It was his policy to be available to any that have need of him as long as they paid his price of bit as well as good stories... and as long as he wasn't the cause of harm a filly, mare, or foal. Stardream found out about this and was not pleased, trying to get Mythos to stop what he was doing as she was upset he would help ponies that would hurt others. Mythos tried to make it seem it was no big deal, that he wasn't the one actually doing anything wrong. Stardream was not happy about this and eventually left Mythos in tears, later he found out she had left to another city and he was without a means to contact her. He was left in Canterlot, understanding he had made a grave mistake but with no way to fix it.

No one wants to give their thoughts on this?

Ah so that is way it was taking so long. Yes I understand completely that Stardream's ability will not be able to control others actions at all. Yet, I would like to going over a few situations where it would work and talk about how. What if, something bad were to happen or someone or a group were to make a bad choice... would Stardream be able to say, "I don't think that is a good idea, I... have a bad feeling about this." or like there is a time herself or another could get hurt and she were to move to push them out of the way. Or perhaps she gives somepony their fortune at their request (where I would be able to go over such fortunes with the player of the character). On bringing up her doubts and uncertainings other ponies would be able to brush it off with, "you worry too much", "nothing will happen". On the second they would be able to either make it so she doesn't push them aside and/or get annoyed at her. Such situations wont come up often understandably and her 'future sight' will also normally apply just to her. Also I plan on them being difficult to understand and applying to many situations thus "in other words it is a vision of what may be, not what will be" is fine.

Ready for review and, hopefully, approved.

Updated! Added to the bio, maded everything clearer, and put the bio in the correct format.

Roleplay Type: Mane Name: Stardream Sex: Female Age: Mare Species: Pegasus Coat Color: Has a dark blue coat, moving to near black it would seem to those without sharp eyes. Mane/Tail and style of such: She has lovely midnight blue mane and tail, long and wavy but not really styled as she normally only brushes it. Eye Color: Eyes are a lovely shade of emerald green Cutie Mark: green outline of an eye with a black pupil surround in light blue aura Physique: Slender of build and of a fair height, attractive as well. Talent: Seeing hints of the future in her dreams, and can speak with the stars too. Though she rarely completely understands what she is told. Usually her talent works as a sixth sense where the stars warn her of for danger and trouble around or near her. Origin: Originally from Trottington and still has a house there but currently travels with her mentor to many different cities because of her work as his assistant. Occupation: Astrologer, currently assistant but formally apprentice to Star Gazer Motivation: To find out about herself, to find out what happened to her parents. To be able to talk to others about her talent... to make friends, but ones she can trust. Likes: Reading, but mostly only those on the night sky and the stars. Books that might help her understand her talent better. Good manners, those that are nice to others, and those that can make her laugh. Dislikes: Taking risks, unpredictability. Selfishness, those that don't think things through Character Summary: Named by the parents Stardream would never know she had to spend her earliest years at an orphanage, but was taken in by what would seem a crabby high class old mare by the name of Sourbloom. It actually confused some why an earth pony would want to adopt a pegasus but old mare was insistent. It wasn't until she was older that she understood why she even was adopted, though at least Sourbloom played with her bit, bought things for her, and paid attention to her... they did manage to become friends somehow. It would seem it didn't take much for the old mare to start complaining, and it didn't help that Stardream wings and her learning to use them right broke things but it would seem most of the time Sourbloom complained about her family who never visited and only seem to want her money. It was when Stardream was a young filly she that she got her cutie mark. Having always had an interest in the night sky, feeling a comfort being under them and even thinking sometimes they could hear and understand her. She talked to the stars, considering them friends, and wish time and again that they would talk back to her. At time she thought they did, at times even hearing what would seem warnings that have protected her from danger. Once listening to the stars had saved the live of her guardian, which is how she gained her cutie mark. (Sourbloom had a small heart attack, the stars prompted Stardream to look for Sourbloom as soon as it started. Because of this medical staff was able to get to her in time to stabilize her, thus saving the old mare's life). When Stardream got older, a older filly, Sourbloom started to show her age. Her health low, the old mare stayed in her bed and was watch over by nurses she had hired to watch over her condition at all times . One day Sourbloom call Stardream in, telling her something the old bat had never said before... that she loved her, that if it wasn't for her Sourbloom wouldn't have known what to do. She explained then why she had adopted her, not just because she was a lonely old mare but because she wanted someone to pass on what she had gained in her long life. When Stardream ask about Sourbloom's other relative she only laughed, saying they would just waste what she would leave behind justifying herself by saying they never cared about her. The two talk a bit more and share a tender moment, before being hurried out by the nurse on duty who told her Sourbloom needed rest. So it was, Stardream lost the only family she had but gained more then the memories she had of the old mare. When the relatives found out that Sourbloom had stated in her will that everything would go to Stardream, they were not pleased to say the least. Yet the old bat had been smart and made sure control of the property was safe in the hooves of a friend until Stardream could legality own it, her final act being a a 'take that' to the family that only wanted her money. Yet Stardream didn't keep most of it anyway, having most of it given away to help build an planetarium in Canterlot. When old enough, and her schooling that her guardian had started to her was finished, Stardream left her home under the care of the servants... deciding to set off to find her place in Equestria. Gaining a position as an apprentice to an older stallion named Star Gazer, a unicorn astrologer that studies the movements of the stars and other astral bodies and sends reports to Canterlot. Though it took some time to convince him to train her, partly because of how old she was and partly because he preferred to do his job alone. Yet it didn't take long for Stardream to show her knowledge of the stars and she did impress him... yet it was discovering her Talent that he said yes. You see by this point Stardream had a fair idea how her Talent worked, it becoming of use in her life. Yet she still kept most ponies from knowing about it, as who would believe that a pegasus could see the future. That she could speak with the stars and once in a while have a strange dreams, dreams that oddly connect to herself and others around her. It was an odd gift to say the least, especially or a pegasus, as normally one could only use spells to divine such things. This is what got her Star Gazer to say yes, it was fascinated him that was her talent. This surprised Stardream, thankful as it was rare for those few she told to believe her so quickly. So with that she traveled with Star Gazer and learned how to be a astrologer herself. Later Stardream met a handsome stallion unicorn named Mythos in Canterlot, a storyteller and scholar that seemed to have been all over Equestria. They became close, Mythos even inviting her at times to go out for some fun and to see what Canterlot could offer. As time went on, Stardreams feelings for Mythos grown until she even started to fall in love with him. Yet she found out that Mythos had been hiring his research based skills to ponies of an unsavory feel to Stardream, the stars warning her of danger. When she found out some of these ponies were hurting others, she confronted Mythos about it. What she heard him say shocked her, as he explained he found nothing wrong with helping these ponies, even if some were hurting others by their actions. Stardream couldn't let it go, and tried for sometime to convince Mythos to stop helping them. When he wouldn't she finally gave up and said that she couldn't do this, that she couldn't stay with Mythos if he continued his work as he did. With tears in her eyes she said that she just did not understand how the nicest pony she know would be willing to help those that hurt others. With that she left him which hurt very much, and she moved back to Trottingham. She got back in contact with her old mentor asking for work, who hired her without question as his assistant because he knew her reliability... though she had to start traveling often again because of this. Other: Her talent is limited, mostly just giving hints of things to come, and even when things are clear and detailed Stardream does not always understand what she sees or dreams. Also she will be connected with Mythos Gray, my other OC pony but I don't plan on them meeting right away and it is even likely she would have 'moved on' when they do meet.

In this story Celestia and Luna are the empresses of Equestria, both tyrants in their own right though Celestia is more hot headed with a cruel sense of humor while Luna is cold and calculating. Yet at one point she had actually been good, being Starlight Moon and creating the Midnight Order... a safe haven for ponies wanting protection and peace from the heavy weight of the Empire. Yet Celestia had a plan, a plan that took 1000 years to come to full fruition, having banished Starlight Moon to buy herself time, and created the Elements of Discord. Upon the return of her wayward sister, Starlight Moon was forced to become the evil Empress Luna once again. Who did this to her? Twilight Sparkle and those like her... herself being the Element of Spite and the other discordians being the Elements of Cruelty, Deceit, Treachery, Greed, and Fear. Working together because each wanted power and the ability to control others. Was this a stable union? No, there will and is conflict between these six 'generals' at times yet partly from fear of Celestia and partly because of their own selfish desires they worked together. The focus will be characters within the Midnight Order, and while it is a darker Equestria and many of the ponies from the show will have a reversal of roles (the Empresses and Discordians being the biggest case of this) with examples being Prince Blueblood, Trixie, Gilda, Harmony (instead of Discord) who actually took over leading the Order when Starlight Moon could not. ---------------------------------- In this fanfiction I will bring forward some of the more 'darker' memes and mentioning the many and varied 'shippings', counting the three for Celestia (taking this as far as needed to show the foolishness of it). These three being 'the Tyrant', 'Trollestia', and even a bit of 'Molestia'. There with also be 'Cupcakes' Pinkamena and the other memes involving how she is able to do that which no other pony can (which can and will be a bit scary). Fluttershy having a secret rage hidden behind a seemingly 'soft' exterier, taking care of her 'babies' (many being monsters and creatures of her own creation counting her 'killer rabbit' Angel) and a scary skill at interrogation. Rainbow Dash with a 'dash' of Rainbow Factory, who is the aggressive and violent leader Shadowbolts, making up Equestria's secret police force. Vain Rarity, having a monopoly on the fashion and control of the social elites, a secret sweat shop where orphaned or sold foals work, as well as a place where fillies and mares do 'services' just to feed themselves and families. Twilight Sparkle with control Equestria's use of magic, and education, conducting research of subject of magical or scientific nature most would say is 'not pretty' using dark magic and making studies that can harm or damage those around her. Pinkamena is in control of moral, making parties no one want to go to but have to anyway... being a strong source of paranoia fuel. Applejack, and control after having killed (or at least plans to kill) her brother Don Macintosh, oversees the family business Apple Corps and control the economical aspect of Equestria being something of an 'organized crime' family. All in all it will be a BIG project, and one I will enjoy it even though under normal circumstances I very much dislike many of the memes I will be using. I will also try to keep it near PG-13 rating, keeping major violence and 'other' subjects behind the scenes as I very much dislike excessive violence and 'clop' use in MLP fanfiction (I will also avoid having swearing in this series, at most having 'pony swears'). I will probably need editors and those that can keep me focused, as I have many ideas but difficulties putting it all together to make an interesting whole without getting distracted.