Unicorn Bridge Breaker [Final]

[silversigil]

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria

Name: Bridge Breaker

Sex: male

Age: stallion

Species: unicorn

Coat Color: dull grey

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: long black unkempt mane and tail, tribal tattoo style markings on upper back and forelegs.

Eye Color: hazel

Cutie Mark: broken hoofcuffs [Free spirit]

Physique: average height, somewhat thin

Origin: born in Hoofington [currently lives in hotels were he’s on tour]

Occupation: musician

Motivation: Is looking for a way to enjoy life to the fullest and experience as much as he can.

Likes: Bridge Breaker is well known by his friends for being extremely impulsive,

Many times he has made decisions that made no sense to anyone but though all of them he still seemed to enjoy his self. It is more common to find him in a bar or playing cards in his free time, but regularly he will get an idea for some sort of prank or activity to keep himself entertained. On one occasion it was reported that he had walked into a club and started playing at the piano waiting to see how long it would take for people to recognize him. After getting into a fight with the actual pianist he was kicked out of the club and banned from entry.

Dislikes: Bridge Breaker was raised in a family with very traditional values, for most of his youth he was held to very high standards for showing respect and having proper manners. Because of this, he becomes much more serious when someone acts disrespectful or is intentionally rude.

History: parents live in Hoofington were he started work just out of school. After several years he eventually got his cutie mark and left to become a musical performer.

Parents: both met as young adults, gave birth to three kids (he is the youngest). Parents were very stern in raising their children.

Cutie Mark Story: When Bridge breaker was in school he was very anti-social, seldom spoke and avoided most of the other students. He was up-tight, never laughing at a joke or showing joy at anything. He was always stressed for no reason and worried about everything that could go wrong. A while later his parent had thrown a birthday party for him, many of the fillies and colts from his school had shown up, some brought presents though none knew what he wanted or even liked. After opening most of the presents with little amusement his father walked off to another room to retrieve something. As the father walked in with a black oddly shaped case, the boy looked to his father with curiosity and confusion. Setting the case in front of his son he stepped back and smiled waiting patiently, the case was old and the material was damaged and stained, but when the colt opened it and gazed upon the beautiful guitar inside; not a single scratch or imperfection on it, he was speechless. It was his grandfather’s he hadn’t seen it since he was very little, he had almost completely forgotten it. “It’s yours now, grandpa would have wanted you to have it,” his father spoke a bittersweet tone to his voice. From that day on he played whenever he could; even taking it to school, he barely ever worried anymore and he opened up to the other student’s. One day, he thought back on that birthday and how he had been before it he wondered why he ever was like that. Then it came to him, the only reason he didn’t socialize or enjoy anything is because he wouldn’t let himself, he had to break free from his own insecurities and do what he wanted to do that when he noticed the mark on his flank and realized what his purpose was: to show the world that there are no limitations to what we can do if we don’t except them.

Instrument: electric guitar is a Les Foal with a pair of humbucker pick-ups a whammy bar and a Silver Sunburst finish. The guitar is run off of his magic he is also able to use his magic to create various guitar effects.

Current state: Later on in his career he saved up enough bits and pay for lessons in classical music. Though guitar is his best instrument he learned to play piano along with several string instruments. He is currently on tour with the band he’s in as lead guitar and back-up vocal, as of now they have become more popular and have recently started getting higher class gigs.

The Band: named the Colt Coral they had met and started the band when all of the members where almost stallions, though they got older the name just stuck. The band consists of a lead guitarist, rhythm guitarist, bassist, drummer, lead vocalist, and pianist. This is their second tour after being signed with a record label, after the tour the contract will expire. After their first tour they had built up a considerable number of fans, their label planned a second tour that would travel all over Equestria and finish in Canterlot.

cutie mark

[Mojo]

I notice this is a WIP application, so how is it coming along?

[silversigil]

I have what I want I made it a WIP because I wanted to make sure that his guitar being powered by magic wasn't to far off from cannon to be allowed.

[i'm also working on some vector art for him]

[Mojo]

I see nothing wrong with a 'magic powered' guitar. It was established in the cartoon by Flim and Flam that complex machinery could be run on 'magic' so why not a guitar?

[silversigil]

ok I'll set it to final then, thank you.

[Mojo]

Ok, now I can begin to analyze this app.

This app is very brief, but it does cover all of the required fields, so that's ok.

The only thing I can see that might receive a caution from the Senior RP staff is the cutie mark.

Personally, I like it!

I'll recommend this app to Senior RP Staff to further it along in the approval process!

[silversigil]

on the matter of the cutie mark I tried to emphasize that it was more a representation of his personallity and how he acted on impulse but I'm more than willing to change it if the senior RP staff requests

[Mojo]

Well, Senior RP Helper Rosewind examined your app, and as I feared, the cutie mark didn't pass muster because it is an existing anarchy symbol. Though there is some 'real world' influence on the MLP universe, this cutie mark is a little TOO close to 'real world.'

Also, can't reference RL humans such as Les Paul (even as a design name), same reason as above.

She'd also like to hear a bit more about the 'voice box' effect that you're describing.

Need to be a little less specific on his magic too.

Those are the main things she pointed out to me about this app.

:D

[silversigil]

I'm going to edit the app but I wanted to ask some questions.

-instead of Les Paul could I used a ponified version of the name?

-what do you think would be a good substitution for his cutie mark?

[Mojo]

I'm going to edit the app but I wanted to ask some questions.

-instead of Les Paul could I used a ponified version of the name?

-what do you think would be a good substitution for his cutie mark?

-Well, all I can come with for a ponified version of Les Paul is "Les Clop". Not sure if that's what you want.

-Maybe a tiny verson of the guitar itself, or something involving muscial notes

[silversigil]

edited it if you have any other suggestions I'd appreciate them

for the guitar I was thinking Les Foal but I just made up a name for now

[Rosewind]

I thought I'd peek in to see how this application is coming along. It looks like Mojo has been giving you some great suggestions! I think Les Foal is very clever! That would probably work fine.

This application needs a few things off the top of my head; as you work on it, please consider the following:

Since you're picking a new cutie mark, you'll need to hash out a story or meaning behind how Bridge got it. It doesn't have to be a large anecdote, but details about how he discovered his talent would be very helpful. A pair of handcuffs (hoofcuffs?) should an interesting story make.

I see you wrote that he uses his magic to affect how his music sounds. I'm still confused how altering his vocal cords can have an effect on how his guitar sounds. My suggestion is you avoid the specifics of how he uses magic to play music, and just put something general, like "he can use his magic to affect how his music sounds." That would eliminate some confusion, while allowing you some creative wiggle room if you decide to expand on that idea in the roleplay.

Finally, the overall look of the application seems rather messy and hard to read. As a work in progress that is fine, but since it is flagged as [Final], it would be helpful if you organized your work, and made it easier to read. You can do this by checking the spelling, format, capitalization, word choice, and punctuation. Additionally, you might try bolding the application subject fields. For example:

Name: Bridge Breaker

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion

Your application is a representation of you as a player, and your character. Other players will read it. Make it look your best!

If you have any questions or need more suggestions, feel free to let Mojo know, and/or you are welcome to contact me!

[silversigil]

alright I did some more changes and look forward to suggestions

[Rosewind]

This application is looking better, but it needs a few more details to really make it good-to-go. For example, Bridge plays in a band. What is the band called? Does he do anything else besides play music? You wrote he was born in Hoofington. What is his location or residence now?

Thankies!

[silversigil]

the band was giving me a bit of trouble but I've been brain-storming a few names. Since music is his profession he usual is impulsive about his activities in his free time (ex. he's walking down the street and sees a flier for a cooking class, without even a second thought he's in a kitchen covered in flower). Right now since he's on tour he just lives in hotel's, I'm going to add this information to the app in my next revision. thank you for your patience and advice.

[Mojo]

May I offer some suggestions?

For the band name, it would help to have a pony-like name.

How about "Three Horse Night?"

The "Stallion Batallion?"

"Bridge Breaker and the Stampede?"

The "Knight Riders?" (play on the chess piece 'knight' - which is a horse head, and 'riders' - as in horseracing)

"Ponies of the Night?"

As for staying in hotels all the time, that's fine, but in terms of most Equestria small towns (like Ponyville) most of the hotels would probably be called 'inns.' Manehattan (what we could see of it in "Cutie Mark Chronicles") definitely has 'hotels' in it.

Hope this helps!

[silversigil]

Thanks for the suggestion Mojo, I also tried using a name generator for it here are some of the good ones I'd like your (and Rosewind's if she wants) opinion on them.

[some make more sense then others but I wanted a wider selection]

• · Feral Colt
  
• · Colt Coral
  
• · Out Colt
  
• · Beyond Colt
  
• · Mane Operation
  
• · Mane Inspiration
  

[Mojo]

"Colt Corral" could work if all the band members are young colts.

That's my fave of the names you posted

[silversigil]

yeah it sounds good and I guess it could work even though the members are all stallions [for now I'm just gonna assume it but if other people end up making OCs of the other band members I'll leave it open to mares].

[Mojo]

Ok, silversigil, been discussing your app with Senior RP Staff.

They'd like to see this app expanded. The cutie mark story's great, but I think we'd like to read more about Bridge Breaker, the character. More description of what Bridge Breaker is like would be nice. The goal for any app is for the reader to get to know the character as well as you do. What makes Bridge Breaker special? What makes him tick? What ticks him off? Well, I think you get the drift here.

This is a good app, expanding it would make it even better!

:D

[silversigil]

updated,hope it helps answer some of the questions and concerns.

[Rosewind]

Indeed it has. Approved!