[Sugar Cube Corner] Performance Review (Private)

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Carrot Cake was seated at the table in the kitchen of the Sugar Cube Corner, which at the moment, acted as his makeshift desk. A few papers were scattered across the table here and there, mostly receipts and delivery notices, all of which were relevant to what was to come: Pinkie Pie's performance review. It had been quite awhile since Carrot Cake had given the pink, poofy-maned mare a proper performance review, and in light of some of her more remarkable antics as of late, he decided that one was long overdue. He wasn't entirely sure how he would handle of these issues, he certainly did not want to come across as todid confrontational, yet at the same time, he also didn't want to act like some of these antics she pulled weren't a big deal either. On the other hand, he also had to remember that as an employee her dedication was second-to-none, especially when it came to the twins. Still feeling very unsure of how he was going t handle this, the stallion let out a long sigh. To top it all off Pinkie was also late, the performance review was supposed to have started seven minutes ago.

[Rosewind]

Pinkie Pie trotted through Sugarcube Corner bakery , holding a hot pan of banana hay muffins. She was wearing a ruffly pink tutu, humming merrily to herself. She popped through the double doors of the bakery into the kitchen on her tippyhoovess, spinning gracefully. Actually, that was a lie. This was Pinkie, and she ungracefully dropped the muffin pan, upside down of course. As per the usual, a huge, hot wad of muffin goo spattered sadly all over the wooden floor. [colour=#ED458B]"Oops! I guess dancing isn't a good way to cool down muffins faster!" [/colour]She said to herself, taking a mental note. She wriggled her tutu off her large, pink hips and set to work mopping up the hot muffin gunk off the floor with it.

Pause. Her large, light sapphire eyes glanced upward at her boss. She blinked. Another long, awkward pause. She still didn't get it. [colour=#ED458B]"Hi Mr. Cake! You look like you're all ready to have a business meeting! Who are you meeting with?! Is it with that donkey lady that needed six dozen cupcakes for that apple bobbing thingiejig?"[/colour] Pinkie grinned widely. Squee!

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Carrot Cake just stared long and hard at Pinkie Pie as she came into the kitchen, dancing in a pink tutu. Just what did that filly think she was doing? Suddenly any doubts he had about doing this performance review were beginning to melt away as he watched Pinkie drop the pan of muffin batter, wincing as it hit the floor with a loud "clang!" He silently watched as Pinkie slipped out of her tutu, wondering how long it would take her to notice that he was there. When she did finally notice, an awkward silence followed, until Pinkie finally broke it with an enthusiastic greeting.

[colour=#ff8c00]"Er, no, Pinkie. We're doing your performance review today. Your first-ever, performance review, if I might add. Don't you remember? I told you about it a couple days ago."[/colour] he said, wondering if Pinkie had even been listening when he had told her, then he simply let out a sigh. [colour=#ff8c00]"Well, you're here now, so go ahead and take a seat."[/colour] Carrot Cake said, motioning to the chair across the table from him.

[Rosewind]

Pinkie Pie glanced to the chair, then back to her muffin-coated tutu, Back the chair. She trotted forward gingerly, swallowing hard. [colour=#ED458B]"P-performance review!? You mean like, you'll be reviewing my performance? Oh gee, I haven't really had a lot of time to perfect my muffin coolin' shuffle. You only got a little sneak peek just now! I was thinking of adding in some skips and twirls, with a hop hop hop! Weeeeeee!" [/colour]She dropped her frilly pink skirt on the floor, which made a rather sickening "thhhhupt" sound. Without missing a step, she grabbed Carrot's hooves and attempted to yoink him out of his chair.

[colour=#ED458B]"Dance with me! Let's see if we can't come up with a trifle mixin' twist! Heeheheheehee! Oh yeah! You know, maybe we should have a dance for every pastry in Sugarcube Corner! Think of how totally fun that would be! Every jam doughnut could get a jive, and every snickerdoodle could get a shuffle!"[/colour]

The pink mare hopped up and down excitedly, quite enthused with her idea.

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Carrot Cake stared at Pinkie Pie blankly as she jumped up and down while holding his hooves. Was it possible for this mare to hold still even for just a second? [colour=#ff8c00]"Wha? N-No, Pinkie, I'm not reviewing your dancing."[/colour] the stallion said as he yanked his hooves away from Pinkie before bringing one of them down on the paperwork in front of him. [colour=#ff8c00]"I'm reviewing the performance of your job here at Sugar Cube Corner."[/colour] He said as he pointed to the chair across from him once more.[colour=#ff8c00]"So go ahead and have a seat, we've got a few things to discuss."[/colour]

[Rosewind]

Pinkie paused as Carrot pulled away from her grasp. Her face drained, and she sat down hard in the chair. Her poofy mane seemed to deflate, as her mood did a complete turn around. [colour=#ED458B]"You're...firing me?!" [/colour]Her blue eyes watered, as tears began to gush down her cheeks. [colour=#ED458B]"B-b-but! Where will I live?! I'm not moving back to the Rock Farm! No way! I guess I could move in with Fluttershy or Rarity, maybe even Twilight...but she doesn't really have a kitchen does she?" [/colour]Pinkie's imagination shifted. She could see Fluttershy's zoo having fun with Pinkie...bunnies and small birds loved loud parties, right?! Then there was Rarity. They were PFFs, but she was a creative loner and a businessmare. Twilight. Yeah, Twilight was Twilight. Pinkie wiped tears off her face with the back of her arm.

Her tone switched, yet again. [colour=#ED458B]"I like working here! I don't want to live anywhere else! I love the Cake family and the Twins! I'll foal sit them double time! No, doubly double double!" [/colour]She grabbed Carrot's bowtie, and blew her nose noisily. [colour=#ED458B]"Waaaaaaaaaah!"[/colour]

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Carrot Cake was taken aback by Pinkie's sudden mood swing as she was now sitting before him sobbing her eyes out. [colour=#ff8c00]"Wh-What? N-No Pinkie, I would never… Gah!"[/colour] he exclaimed as Pinkie suddenly started blowing her nose on his bow tie. This was definitely not going the way he had planned at all thus far. True, Carrot Cake had expected that this review would probably be a bit awkward, it being Pinkie and all, but he never expected a reaction like this. Wanting to take back control of the situation, he placed his hooves on Pinkie's shoulders and gently pushed her away from him, giving her a comforting smile as we did so. [colour=#ff8c00]"Pinkie, you're a valued employee and friend here, Cup Cake and I would never think of firing you. There's nothing to worry, about okay?"[/colour] Carrot Cake said, hoping that his consoling would help lift her spirits once again before he moved on to more serious matters. [colour=#ff8c00]"I just want to discuss your performance job-wise lately and also ask you a few questions."[/colour]

[Rosewind]

Pinkie Pie calmed down as Carrot consoled her, though her mane remained quite straight. She wiped her nose with the back of her hoof, sniffling, as she placed her rump back in the seat. [colour=#ED458B]"Oh, okay! Whew! You had me worried there for a second! So what about my performance are you talking about? I can frost cupcakes blindfolded, sprinkle cakes upside down, and I can bake a dozen cookies faster than Rainbow Dash! Except I'm not sure if Rainbow can bake. Huh! I wonder if I should invite her over sometime to make cupcakes!? Oooh, that would be so much FUN!" [/colour]Pinkie grinned, looking up at the ceiling, clearly in deep thought about her idea. Her blue gaze shifted back to Carrot, giving him a "what are you doing here?" expression.

[colour=#ED458B]"So er...what kind of questions do you have? This isn't about the thing with the garden hose, the rock, and the bowl of cereal, is it? It would be really awkward to get into detail about that, since Mrs. Cake and I promised we'd keep it between us! Oops! Forget it!" [/colour]She grinned, her ears flattened as she looked to her boss.

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Carrot Cake was relieved to see Pinkie getting back in her usual mood, although he could have probably done without her launching into another long-winded tangents. Although the thing about the garden hose, the rock, and the bowl of cereal did pique his curiosity, but he would deal with that later, one thing at a time. [colour=#ff8c00]"Well no, uh… I just wanted to talk about your performance of your job in general. Now first let me start off by saying that you have been valuable employee to the Sugar Cube Corner. You've been to work on time every day since starting here, your cooking skills have greatly improved since you first started off, and you're even a model tenant as well, having yet to miss a single payment on your rent."[/colour] Carrot Cake said, offering the pink mare a warm smile before moving onto his next order of business. [colour=#ff8c00]"Now that being said, there are a few concerns I have that I wanted to discuss with you, starting with this…"[/colour] Carrot cake said as he slid a piece of paper across the table to Pinkie. The paper in question was an invoice for 30 gallons of coconut oil, 60 pounds of pasta, a dozen roses, 800 peach pits, 14 wheels of cheese, a bunny costume, and a goose.

[Rosewind]

Pinkie Pie smiled as Carrot related the information to her. [colour=#ED458B]"Thankies Mr. Cake! I er..." [/colour]The mare flattened her ears again as she was presented with the invoice. [colour=#ED458B]"Ooooh! All that stuff, huh?! Well..."[/colour]

She took a deep breath. [colour=#ED458B]"The coconut oil was originally for a biiiiiiig coconut cake. I thought it would work instead of butter to make the cake extra coconutty, but it's way more slippery and I ended up flooding half the bakery with molten, slimy cake batter when it exploded out of the oven. I had lots of oil left, so I used it to water the garden! The pasta was for a pasta party I had a few weeks ago. All the costumes, games, food, and crafts we did were all made with pasta! Pretty neat, huh?! I even had a few dozen pounds extra, so I put it in your closet in case you got hungry or something. I think next time I'll do a honey party! The roses were for a snack...teehee! Peach pits? Well er...I thought about making peach pie, but we were all out of peaches, so I decided to plant a peach orchard right outside! They haven't sprouted yet, though, so I'm afraid the pie will have to wait, Mr. Cake! The cheese was for propping up a coffee table upstairs, the bunny costume was so I could bake a better carrot cake...I mean really, what better to bake a cake than a bunny, right? The goose? Er...I..."[/colour]

At that moment, the honking of a fowl echoed from upstairs, followed by a crash of glass, tearing, and rumbling. Pinkie winced. [colour=#ED458B]"Ooooh yeah! You know, I'm not too sure about that. I'll get back to you on that one." [/colour]She grinned awkwardly, showing off her white teeth as sweat drops streamed down her brow.

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Carrot Cake tried to follow all of what Pinkie was saying as best as he could, but he was only able to catch bits and pieces of it. From what he gathered, however, it was more of Pinkie Pie's usual antics, only this time at the expense of the Sugar Cube Corner. Although he was caught off guard by the honking and crashing noises coming from upstairs, but quickly collected himself. [colour=#ff8c00]"Well er, that's all nice, Pinkie, but the point is that you charged all of this to the Sugar Cube Corner. You can't just go buying stuff for personal projects and put it all on the store tab, especially not without asking us first."[/colour] he said in a firm tone before shifting his gaze back upwards again. [colour=#ff8c00]"Also, that thing's not anywhere near the twins, is it?"[/colour] Carrot Cake asked, having a rather unpleasant memory of being chased by an angry goose as a foal himself.

[Rosewind]

Pinkie blinked innocently, her ears still flattened. She looked rather cowed. [colour=#ED458B]"Nope! It's not near the Twins at all." [/colour]Pinkie grinned. [colour=#ED458B]"He's safe and sound in your room!"[/colour] Pinkie put her hoof on the list, looking to Carrot with huge, blue puppy eyes. She curled her lower lip into a pout. She changed her bouncy tone into somewhat of a whine. [colour=#ED458B]"Mr. Cake, I would never charge anything to Sugercube Corner that wasn't strictly for business. Think about it...peaches! Goose down feathers for pillows! Coconut oiled...garden plants! Pasta bowtie bowties! It's all for you! Everything!" [/colour]

The mare sniffled, lowering her head. [colour=#ED458B]"You've done it now, Pinkie Pie. Mr. Cake doesn't like everything you do for Sugarcube Corner." [/colour]Hot, salty tears dropped to the table, mixing with the ink of the list. [colour=#ED458B]"Waaaahahahaha! I'm so sorry!" [/colour]She drew her hooves up to her face, bawling. More crashes came from upstairs, following by honking and fabric tearing. A billow of smoke started to creep out of the kitchen. Pinkie looked upward, tears still streaming down her cheeks.. [colour=#ED458B]"Oh no! My muffins are burning! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!"[/colour]

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[colour=#ff8c00]"It's what?!"[/colour] Carrot Cake exclaimed, not at all thrilled about the idea of having a potentially angry goose wandering around in his and Cup Cake's bedroom. Also, didn't she say something about putting pasta in his closet earlier? He soon lost his train of thought, however, as Pinkie suddenly started speaking to him in a whiney tone. Carrot Cake was unsure of how to handle Pinkie's current reaction, she really was starting to take this all a bit too personally, although one thing she said did confuse him a bit. [colour=#ff8c00]"Er... pillows?"[/colour] But before he could inquire any further, Pinkie started crying again

[colour=#FF8C00]"W-Wait, Pinkie, there's no need to cry! I'm not mad, just…"[/colour] Then suddenly Carrot Cake heard the crashes as well as the smoke coming from the kitchen. [colour=#ff8c00]"What the…"[/colour] He started to say, only to be interrupted by more of Pinkie's frantic crying. [colour=#ff8c00]"Muffins? Why didn't you tell me you were cooking something!"[/colour] Carrot said as he quickly got from his chair and rushed into the kitchen.

[Rosewind]

Pinkie wiped her eyes, rolling herself out of the chair. She trotted after Carrot into the kitchen. Pitch black smoke billowed out the oven. [colour=#ED458B]"Sorry! We were so busy with our meeting party, I completely forgot!" [/colour]She pulled the oven open with her mouth, and another cloud of smoke roiled out from the depths of the oven. She slipped mitts over her hooves and yoinked the pan from the oven. It was spitting and sputtering, several small black balls clinking around in the bottom of the muffin cups. [colour=#ED458B]"Heehee, these don't even look like muffins anymore! They're like little smoking marbles! Ack!" [/colour]She coughed, waving more smoke out of the way.

[colour=#ED458B]"Oh my, this is just terrible! I used your secret stash of vanilla to make these! You know that bottle that you keep locked away that you pretend that I don't know about? Well, I do know about it, except I pretend that I don't because these were going to be a surprise for you and the Twins! You know it's going to be their 11th monthaversary soon!" [/colour]Pinkie sadly dumped the shriveled cupcake marbles in the trash, her mane curls sinking away into straight locks. More tearing and honking came from upsatirs. Pinkie slipped back into the chair at the empty table, looking quite crestfallen. [colour=#ED458B]"Oh Pinkie Pie..." [/colour]She sniffed, wiping the corners of her eyes with the back of her pink hoof.

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As Pinkie dealt with taking the muffins out of the oven, Carrot Cake grabbed a nearby potholder and fanned it at the smoke, but this did little to clear away the smoke from the room as the stallion began to cough uncontrollably. Stumbling around the kitchen with very little visibility, he eventually found a window and threw it open, allowing the smoke to clear from the room. Carrot Cake then sticks his head out of the window, gasping for fresh air as the smoke spill out all around him. Finally he brought his head back into the kitchen to survey the damage, just in time to hear Pinkie's explanation about the muffins and his secret stash of vanilla. [colour=#ff8c00]"M-My vanilla? But how did you…"[/colour] Carrot cut his sentence short as he saw Pinkie throw the muffins in the garbage and starting to look sad all over again. A frown came upon Carrot Cake's face at the sight of this, he hated seeing Pinkie Pie sad like this. Trotting over to her, he put a hoof on the sad mare's shoulder. [colour=#ff8c00]"Pinkie, don't worry about it, I should have asked you if you were in the middle of something before I started the meeting, so this is kind of my fault. I do appreciate the thought though, and I'm sure the twins would too. Although, I wish you would have asked before using my secret stash of Vanilla."[/colour]

[Rosewind]

Pinkie wasn't long to stay sad! Her mane bounced up into happy curls again. She hugged Carrot close, squeezing him in her strong earth pony arms. Squeezy squeezy squeezy. [colour=#ED458B]"Oh Mr. Cake, I'm the luckiest mare ever, ever, ever!" [/colour]She coughed, clearing more muffin smoke from her lungs, then squeezed the stallion tighter in her arms. [colour=#ED458B]"It's no problem! I can rebake the cupcakes using your secret stash of chocolate!" [/colour]She let go of Carrot and bounced happily over to the table, plopping her rear into the seat. She set her hooves on top, blinking her large, blue eyes at the stallion. She grinned playfully, stamping her hoof on the table top with a large clop.

[colour=#ED458B]"I'm ready for the rest of the review, and this time I'm going to take it straight and with a smile! Lay it on me, Mr. Cake!"[/colour]