Unicorn [ready] Acrylic Peinture Paint

[babablacksheep]

Acrylic Peinture Paint

Roleplay Type: Mane RP

Gender: Male

Species: Unicorn

Mane:brown and spiked slightly along with being short

Tail: brown and spiky short

Eyes: blue

Coat: tan with brown spots

Physique: Tall and lanky

Cutie Mark: a paint brush with blue paint on it

How he got his cutie mark: Acrylic Paint received his cutie mark after the horrible tragedy of losing his mentor, best friend and grandfather Canvas. When Acrylic was young he didn’t do much of anything, he didn’t have any hobbies and friends were little to none.

So one day, his grandfather tired of seeing his young little grand-colt waste his life away, so he asked him to come with him to the palace to help him paint new paintings and the new rooms for the new palace addition. Acrylic, of course, had nothing better to do and agreed. From then on after school Acrylic would race home and run into his grandfather’s studio to learn something new about painting.

However, all things have to come to an end and Acrylic came home one day, made a bee-line for his grandfather’s studio only to find it empty. He asked his mother where Canvas was and his mother grabbed him and held him close before telling him that his grandfather passed away in his sleep while Acrylic was at school.

With that Acrylic drew further into his shell, and the only place he felt any happiness was in his grandfather’s studio.

He would just sit there inside the studio not touching anything almost afraid that it would make all the memories of his grandfather vanish into thin air. However one day he spotted the painting of the Canterlot court yard that his grandfather never did finish because he said that he couldn’t figure out what else it needed.

To the untrained eye it would have seemed that the painting had been finished but Acrylic new better. Trotting over to the painting, almost as if he were possessed he stared at it for the longest time, not thinking of anything, but then before he could stop himself his horn glowed with magic and a paint brush that had been dipped in blue paint made its way over to the canvas and Acrylic recoloured the white roses that were on the bushes next to the red ones and painted them blue.

Then he continued making adjustments with paint, he added new statues and more clouds. He made the grass a bit brighter where the light hit it and made it darker around the shadows of the statues. After that he added vines on the sides of the castle and after hours of working. When he was finally finished he stepped back and for the first time ever since his grandfather passed, Acrylic smiled feeling proud and his eyes scanned the painting and he said “finished.”

And then there was a sudden flash of light behind him which, in turn, startled Acrylic and caused him to stumble back and cover the painting that he, himself, had been working on before his grandfather past with blue paint ruining it.

Age: Stallion

Residence: Canterlot

Occupation: Royal Palace Painter

Living Family: Lacquer, Shellac, Emulsion, Dilution, Neon, Fresco, Luminous, Tempera, and War Paint

Character Summary: Acrylic has a grumpy personality due to his childhood; compared to his relative’s Acrylic can seem more stuck up than they are. He’s introverted, but not to the point that he doesn’t get out of the palace walls, he often goes shopping for supplies and goes on site to paint animals or scenes.

Sometimes he goes great lengths to paint certain things that he wants to capture and so he sometimes travels across Equestria just to get the painting the way he wants. As many might guess, Acrylic’s a bit of a work horse and he loves to work, he’s almost always seen painting, and if he’s not painting he’s thinking about what to paint next.

Often whenever he’s out and about he gets a bit overbearing if he sees somepony or something that he wants to paint. When wanting to paint a pony he’s often known to grab that pony and pull them off to the side to ask them if he could paint him. Acrylic is also very aware of his odd appearance and does not enjoy the stares of which he receives from other ponies.

This causes him to wear a cloak often outside which also earns him stairs because of the cloak. Acrylic also submits his works to the art galleries to the many shows held throughout canterlot and attends them, which is the only place of which he feels comfortable to go out and about outside of the palace walls without the cloak of which he often wears. Outside of interacting in places he knows well enough or with ponies he knows, Acrylic and become surprisingly shy.

Likes: Painting, being left alone when working, teaching someone how to paint, and looking at other people's art work, hearing ponies admire his work,

Dislikes: Not being able to finish what he started, being bothered while working, losing his brushes and paints, being sick (it stops him from painting ), being rushed (art takes time! you know!)

History:Acrylic Paint is the decedent of a long line of ponies who bare odd spots upon their coats who have all long since been working as artists in the palace in Canterlot. Acrylic’s family despite being small compared to other families in Equestria is very tight nit.

However, Acrylic never knew a father growing up because he had died in an accident before he was born. Throughout his childhood he had asked his mother about this but she refused to speak of it and would change the subject.

The only male role model that Acrylic had was this grandfather Canvas, his grandfather Canvas taught him the art of painting and showed him the sense of fulfillment that he could feel when he had finished working on a painting that he had spent days on. His grandfather taught him different styles, how each and every colour complimented one another and how to add more things to the picture to help balance the whole thing out. With each and everything he learned his passion for painting grew and grew, as did his grandfather's pride for him.

However, painting with his grandfather was the only thing he found happiness in because his social life was little to none. He was shunned by the foals his age because of his family’s social standing as servants and their lack of large amounts of money like the other pony’s families had. For this he was often bullied, and he became very insecure about himself, so Acrylic soon ceased trying to make friends and spend most of his time reading or doing school work or taking painting lessons from his grandfather.

This kept going for Acrylic until he received his cutie mark and he suddenly felt the need to show off his special talent to everyone and before long many of the foals in his class would come to him for help with pictures or painting that they were supposed to make in class. This caused Acrylic to finally make some friends and helped him gain confidence in himself and he began taking trips to go out and paint painting scenes or animals. As his talent grew the interest of his family grew and before long his family wanted to make him the royal palace painter, which became soon after that.

Edited March 11, 2013 by babablacksheep

[starswirlthebearded]

Hey there! I'm Star Swirl and I'll the the RPHS in charge of your app!

Before I give you a full critique I'd like to give you a run down of the different areas of RP we have here (as written by the lovely QuickLime)

World of Equestria - Character application required!

Canterlot's premiere roleplay, World of Equestria (or WoE/Mane RP) is a strict, structured game that mirrors the basic principles, rules, and continuity (canon) of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Characters here must pass a review process by our volunteer staff to be deemed acceptable for play in this area. This game also features players that play Cast from FiM.

Crossovers - Character application recommended, but not required.

A special sub-forum for characters that may not fit into the Mane RP canon. Darker characters, or characters with special powers, needs, or continuity that do not mesh as well with FiM canon are welcome in this fun, diverse roleplay environment.

Free for All - No application required.

Free for All is an area designated for any character, and anything you can dream. This is a good place to test new character concepts, story ideas, and to meet new and interesting players. Mature content must go in the 18+ sub-section.

Due to the rules of World of Equestria (Mane RP) your app will need to under go a fair amount of revision. Whereas if you mark it for crossover it can pass as is (or at the very least with minimal revision). If you definitely want it for World of Equestria, let me know and I'll post a full critique!

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask!

[babablacksheep]

Hey there Star Swirl, I'm glad that you're taking the time out of your day to look over my app.

Umm, I don't have any questions really, the rules seem pretty straight foreward. All I want to know is what I need to revise and redo really.

-babablacksheep signing off-

bahh~

[starswirlthebearded]

Alrighty then! I'll get to work on a full critique for WoE standards immediately

[starswirlthebearded]

So as promised... I'm going to give you a full critique on this app for WoE RP.

Your character seems interesting, and you have all the necessary fields filled in! So that is good!

Before I really get into this. I would recommend reading Rarity's Application Guidelines, and following the recommended format and style. It isn't required, but it is preferred.

There are several issues that need to be rectified before this app can be sent up for final approval though.

The first is the Cutie Mark field. The cutie mark itself doesn't work. Cutie Marks themselves are unique and identifiable. We don't allow Cutie Marks that would resemble natural markings, as well as markings that would resemble cutie marks. Alternatively you may choose to use a palette with a paintbrush. Or other known symbols for painters.

The other issue with the cutie mark field is that there is no cutie mark story. How did he get his CM? What changed for him? What did he discover about himself? Cutie Mark stories are particularly important to a pony, and all apps are expected to reflect its importance. Most apps dedicate a minimum of one paragraph to the event that allowed their pony to get the cutie mark!

As for personality... If he is working all the time... how will he function in the RP? Antisocial ponies are fine in principle, but honestly, I always recommend toning down those things. This is a slice of life RP that relies on character interaction. Ponies being too antisocial are no fun to play with! Try to give him a social life. Perhaps going into what he does for fun, how he interacts with other ponies. It is great that he is dedicated to his work, but work shouldn't define him! Even AJ and her family are "work horses" yet they find time to go out and do other things as well!

There are a few things in your history that need to be changed as well. The first thing is references to Celestia. References to cast are not allowed without the express permission of the player playing them (in this case the player of Celestia is Dio). Just to note, being a painter of the palace is fine! However saying that orders for paintings come from Celestia, even if she isn't directly seen by your character, is not allowed.

The next major thing in history that needs to be changed is the reference to the Apple family. This is for two reasons... The first is that it isn't needed... The second is that your reasoning for including their name doesn't make sense, since none of them follow a naming scheme.

Which brings me to the next issue... Pony names, even family names, are not passed down. So everyone in your pony's family being named "Painter" is not allowed. This can probably simply be removed for the most part (with some exceptions).

Finally, your character history, isn't really a character history. It told me nothing of your character's upbringing, friends when growing up, how he learned to paint, how impacted him, where he went to school (for art). Your history is, in essence a listing about his family. I got no sense at all of your character! Give him a rich history! The more history you put for your character the better we can know them. Please do avoid going into so much detail about the family though! This app isn't about them, but rather Acrylic!

Remember, the more we can learn about your character, the better!

Alright that does it for the things that need to be changed or removed!

I did like how you explained the abilities though! I would recommend if you follow the format in Rarity's App Guidelines that would be more suited to Character Summary. However, it is fantastic!

Sorry if that seems like a lot, but again, I'm here if you have any questions or concerned. And again, if you wish you can switch this application to Crossovers and it will pass with little or no changes!

[babablacksheep]

Star Swirl thanks for your feedback, I'll get to work on some of those things, however I'd like to point out the fact that everyone in Acrylic's family is named Paint not to be Painters but it's a type of horse, that's why he is spotted as is for most of his family, I thought it would be clever to name his family after different types of paint. So they're not actually named Painter, but Paint as in the type of spotted horse.

But other than that, the rest of your comments seem reasonable and fair, and as I said before I'll take that to heart and back to revising him.

[starswirlthebearded]

Sorry, but that actually doesn't change the ruling... According to our rules, ponies don't have surnames.They can be the Painter family (like the Apple family). But it cannot act like a surname. Using that example... The Apple ponies are all part of the Apple family, and some have the name Apple in their name, but it is not a requirement, nor is it expected. And none of them actually have the surname Apple (as in Big Macintosh is not called Big Macintosh Apple, and Babs Seed's name doesn't even have any Apple reference in it, and The Oranges are also related, and are still part of the Apple family). This is regardless of it referring to the occupation or the type of horse.

I've even checked with the SRPHS, and they said the same. If some of them had different surnames, it would be easier to pass muster, but in the end, ponies don't pass down their names.

[babablacksheep]

Yes, I realize that ponies do not have sir names, but paint is apart of all their names to let anyone who doesn't have knowlege about different types paint that Acrylic's family is named after that they are named after those paints. For example Shellec, before doing research on different types of paint, I didn't even know Shellec Paint exisited. However, if this is going to cause problems I will change most of their names with the exception of War Paint. Because it wouldn't make much sense to have a pony just named War to me.

[starswirlthebearded]

Yes, I realize that ponies do not have sir names, but paint is apart of all their names to let anyone who doesn't have knowlege about different types paint that Acrylic's family is named after that they are named after those paints. For example Shellec, before doing research on different types of paint, I didn't even know Shellec Paint exisited. However, if this is going to cause problems I will change most of their names with the exception of War Paint. Because it wouldn't make much sense to have a pony just named War to me.

It unfortunately would cause problems.

And as I said keeping a few, like War Paint, would be fine! It just shouldn't be all of them (As a slight aside, it is spelled Shellac xD. And technically it is a resin used in finishing, rather than painting specifically IIRC )

So, thank you for your understanding! I look forward to seeing the progress on your app

[babablacksheep]

Oh! Sorry about the misspelling... By the way, I've already editied over my orginal post of my app with the changes. And thank you for being patient and helping me. I really do appreciate it.

[starswirlthebearded]

Hey there! I must say this app is MUCH improved. I'd just like clarification/expansion on two things, and the change/removal of another two.

The first thing is, while you now have a cutie mark story, it seems a bit on the short side. Some expansion would be great. Perhaps go into the specifics! What sort of painting was it? What was it missing? Was it his grandfather's tutelage that helped him figure out what was missing? Did it just dawn on him or did it take some time to figure out what was missing?

The next thing is actually related to the first. The history also seems a bit bare, but in a different way. The grandfather taught him about art. Go into that a bit. It seems to be a major part of your character's development! How did he teach him, what did he teach him? You can even go into how it affected socialization with other ponies as well.

After that... According to our site lore... Canterlot Castle staff don't actually live on premises. They live in adjunct housing just outside of Canterlot Castle! (Which makes sense, considering the amount of staff probably run Canterlot Castle, you can't have all of them on premises!) If you could change that small detail, it would be great!

The last thing is about the bullying. While I can believe Canterlot elite would mock another for social standing, ponies seem not care about the coats of other ponies. As such bullying based on coat colour or markings would not be allowed.

And that's it as far as I can see. Seriously, you've done some fantastic work on this app. I would recommend doing some proofreading as well. (I recommend this to everyone, because I can't notice everything and putting it through spellcheck is pretty easy these days )

And please, you don't need to apologize for small errors like that! I just want this character to be the best it can!

[babablacksheep]

The changes you suggested make sense and I have made them. Again I would like to thank you for your help, I realise that you must be very busy and I'm quite flattered that you've took your time in helping me clean up my app.

[starswirlthebearded]

It's my pleasure!

Everything you've done works for me! So I'm going to send this up for final review.

The only thing I can foresee that might give issue is the tragic back story. However, I feel like most things had a point. While they might not all have been necessarily needed they work for the story you crafted and isn't sad for the sake of being sad.

However, we'll see what the SRPHS have to say

But really fantastic work! You've done an excellent job of building up this app!

[Rosewind]

Dearest Blacksheep,

Out of morbid curiosity, where did you find this particular application form before you filled it out? Any information would be deeply appreciated. Thanks!

[babablacksheep]

Dearest Blacksheep,

Out of morbid curiosity, where did you find this particular application form before you filled it out? Any information would be deeply appreciated. Thanks!

Well mostly I just wrote it myself and then I took some of the things from Rarity's app tutorial, like occupation and so on.

[babablacksheep]

It's my pleasure!

Everything you've done works for me! So I'm going to send this up for final review.

The only thing I can foresee that might give issue is the tragic back story. However, I feel like most things had a point. While they might not all have been necessarily needed they work for the story you crafted and isn't sad for the sake of being sad.

However, we'll see what the SRPHS have to say

But really fantastic work! You've done an excellent job of building up this app!

Thanks, if there is any more problems I'll be happy to fix them.

[Rosewind]

Welcome to the game!