Deadpool reviews his fellow Superheroes issue #1: Batman

[Deadpool]

(Note: some jokes in this are pg-13 but Deadpool put spoiler tags around those, Deadpool still STRONGLY advises viewer discretion.)

Man, what can I say about Batman other than I love the heck outta his character? Oh I can say a lot more than that.

The unique thing about Batman, is if you haven't read the comics, you love him, if you have, you still love him.

The reason for this is Batman would not be the cruelest superhero, like ever, if he killed. But he doesn't for the sake of MERCY, even though he tortures the the villains in mid combat by breaking their bones, and throwing them off buildings too small to kill them.

Basically, everyone seems to also love Batman because he is a hero with no power, but he needs no powers when he is a combination of Bruce Lee, Macgyver, Solid Snake, and Sherlock Holmes.

From experience at the Superhero Café, Batman punches harder than Chris Brown ever could

BEST MEDIA OUTSIDE COMICS: If you said Dark knight, you would be dead wrong. If you said Arkham City, you're getting warmer, but you are still wrong and should go sit in the corner. If you said the Batman animated series, ding ding ding, you're on fire, now stand still so I can roast these marshmallows.

The 90s Batman series. If you didn't grow up on that, you might as well go take Ballet lessons and buy some Barbie dolls (ponies are too good for you), because you're officially a wimp.

Batman the animated series combined the violence, justice, and darkness that made Batman great

While at the same time it remembered, Joker isn't Ted Bundy. ( looking at you Dark Knight)

The Verdict: Whether its the campy 60s, the Dark 2000s, the golden 80s, or the awesome 90s, you can't hate Batman unless both Joel Schumacher and George Clooney are involved

Please let me know which hero you want me to review next

[Deadpool]

And for the record, I didn't dislike the Dark Knight movies, I just dislike how everything was portrayed so realistically, so that it couldn't have started the DC Cinematic universe.