Creature [Reindeer]Cream Parfait[Ready]

[CreamParfait]

RP: FFA

Name: Cream Parfait

Sex: Female

Age: Fawn

Species: Deer

Pet: Cookie

Species: Bird

Sex: Male

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Eye colour: Aquamarine

Coat: It's white. Antique White.

Mane/Tail: Her mane is colour brown and hot pink. If other words, Chocolate brown and Hot pink (Again).Her tail is brown and white.

Physique: Medium tall and slim. A little small but not that much.

Residence: On some mountains near Ponyville.

Occupation: Right now she is working as a baker and a farmer.

Cutie Mark: None / Blank Flank

Hopes: Cream hopes that there would be less rain for where she lives-- her house is starting to break.

She wants to have new friends.

Wishes to be less sick.

Dreams: Her dream was to be a famous baker in all over Equestria.

To harvest enough crops for her needs.

To feel she has lots of friends

History: Cream has been born in Manehattan and was raised in Ponyville. Her father had to go back to Manehattan to start a buisness and to give needs for her family. Cream's mother took care of her until she grew up for her to take care of herself. For years, they have strive to stay in their house safely and to have enough needs. Lucky for them, they were able to live normally, that is, for what they strived for. Although her father was beginning to get bankrupt in his business, and so Cream Parfait and her mother was also beginning to lose their house, and needs.

Her mother, still survived to take care of Cream, even if she's sick. She took care of her (Cream Parfait) until she was grown up, into a beautiful fawn. "Leave, my daughter, go find another shelter for your needs." She whimpered. Cream Parfait declined, because she was worried of her mother. Even if she was sick, she had to force her to leave. Until Parfait's father arrived, and took care of her.

She said a last goodbye and went off to find her new home. She went back to Manehattan to find a home there, but one cost a million bits. She only had a few, so she left and went to somewhere else. She arrived at Canterlot, and found a hotel that cost the excact amount of the bits she had. She paid, and live there for a while. Although "a while" only took a week, and she wasn't able to pay for the hotel. They suggest to let her go somewhere else, where they gave her a chance to not pay (because loss of bits). So she had to go somewhere else.. again.

Going everywhere, expensive homes, lots, hotels, and nothing to live in. She went back to Ponyville to check on her parents, but she realized her mother was dead by now. She cried in agony. Her father gave her a a minimal amount of bits to build her house instead. He also suggested to live in the mountains, for an equal amount of weather. So she moved to the mountains. She found the highest mountain, and made some staircases all the way to the top.

She started to build her little house which she thinks that it looks like a temple. Her "temple" was the size medium. She loved her place, so much. Her shelter may be complete, but her needs began to lessen; And her hunger lacked. So that's when she became a farmer. She learned farming, her crops were placed on the ground, near her mountain. Her needs and shelter were plenty.

Although she wants a new taste in her food, like sweets. She began baking. A letter arrived and it said if Cream wanted to work as a baker in Sugarcube Corner, she accepted it and earned bits. She used the bits for her bills. Her reputation was high.

Speaking of her bills, she also had to rebuild her temple for how many times. The reason is because the weather had too much storms upon her, she hoped that there will be less rain. The storm has also affected to her crops and for her reasons she becomes sick at most times. She suffered, but only for the cause for her life. Now she feels lonely, so she decided to adopt a pet at Ponyville.

She has an interest for birds, so she adopted a blue bird named Cookie. She made Cookie a messenger, to earn extra bits. She felt less lonely.. only less. She needed friends. She wanted friends. Her life was hard to live normally, but she is still alive for now.

Her adventure and continuation of her living starts in Equestria, which she wants to make new friends in her life. So her journey begins...

Summary: Her skills in baking is very unique; She can bake almost everything! She is very kind when talking to others, and is very excited for meeting one. She dosen't complain for how long she walks or run, because she always walks to find her new shelter. Cookie, her pet bird, usually sits on her back. The blue bird is busy at times, so he usually leaves Cream. Cream Parfait has an extra skill in mental focus, which she meditates.. a lot. She has no magic, or any flying skills, so she bites things to carry it-- Or just wear a saddle to carry.

[QuickLime]

I'm sorry but if you checked

[colour=#ffd700] Fluttershy's Creature List[/colour]

You will see "Reindeer" Is not on the approved species list! Feel free to make her a deer, but there is no species called "Reindeer Pony"

[CreamParfait]

I really thought that the species reindeer could be similar to deer. Anyways I changed it to deer

So, is there anything to change or am I accepted (yet)?

[QuickLime]

I need to look it over, it's not approved till a senior rph stamps it though

[QuickLime]

Well right off I can tell you a few things need fixing

Cutie Mark: She has no specific cutie mark, (i dont even know if deer ponies have cutie mark) But she has a blank flank for now.

No they don't so feel free to remove this

Another thing, you keep using human ages, you need to remove those, refer to her as a fawn, or when she was young, or as she got older, all the numbers need to go.

And you need to expand this app, talk more about her hopes, her dreams, her goals, who she is as a person...The summary and about could really use a little more padding

Another thing

History: Cream has been born and raised on that mountain (where she lives) . Her parents just placed her beside that mountain ever since. She has never knew who her parents were, because she was there after her birth

This is going to have to go, that's abandonment and is unneeded angst, I can't see this being part of the backstory on the show, so you need to change this.

Also if she never leaves, doesn't interact, or otherwise socialize how will you use her in the rp? Might want to change that so she can interact with others and have fun!

[CreamParfait]

Okay, Lime *sigh* I'm finished, had to redone a few stuff, my fingers hurt, but I ain't resting until my application's done :(

So.. is my application... ready to be accepted yet? :(

[QuickLime]

...Er no, you took a step forward and then you took two hops backwards! This is WOE, you are focusing too much on making her story dramatic, you need to think simple, sweet, and clean..I didn't mean padding by slapping categories of hopes and dreams I meant WRITE it, tell us why, why does she want to do this? What things are important to her?

If you truly want this character stamped as is, change the type to FFA and I'll have it moved there asap, however it has a lot of work needed before it's WOE Ready I'm afraid.

[CreamParfait]

Oh my. I pushed myself too much for this U_U

So I decided to make it FFA. Tell me if there is any other things I need to do.

Or if it will be moved.

[QuickLime]

Nope good as is! It'll be stamped soon no worries

[CreamParfait]

Thank you so much

[Rosewind]

Have fun in FFA!