QL's "Critic My Characters" Thread

[QuickLime]

To put it bluntly

WOE has become all too easy for me! I am one character away from 40 OCS/Cast characters and am feeling like I have hit a level of "Meh"

SO What I plan to do is to spruce up my old apps! However to do that I need your help people of Canterlot! Click my logs and select a character, tell me what you like about the character! What you dislike! What can be improved, and what could be expanded on!

I need feedback! Positive, Negative! So long as it is helpful!

I understand that my OCs meet the WOE standard, ofcourse they do XD They passed! But I want to raise them up to fit the QL standard as well

So please don't hold back! Be honest ! I don't care if you are RPH or some newbie that just joined right now

Please give me Feedback

[GingerbreadSpy]

Oooh, constructive criticism can be a fun activity when someone is willing to learn from it.

Here's the thing, though. I'm terrible at making decisions. You just have so many characters! Perhaps you could randomly choose a character for me to critique, and I will get on with analyzing it and such?

[QuickLime]

How about the one that started it all? My QuickLime app

[GingerbreadSpy]

Which would you prefer? Do you want me to post the critique here or PM it to you? (I'm fine either way; I have finished writing it up, so just point me in the right direction. )

[QuickLime]

Here works!

[GingerbreadSpy]

Just going by the app, I'd have to say that Quick Lime looks okay for a character. I suppose it's expected that there would be no major issues or inconsistencies, since it was approved for WoE. There are a few things I can comment on, though.

One thing that I find interesting is that Quick Lime is an herbologist in Ponyville. I think an herbologist is a great job for a pony, but... it kinda seems to me like she would have competition with Zecora, wouldn't she? I'm a little hesitant about there being any kind of problem there because it seems like Quick Lime does a lot more with her talent than just remedies and such, though.

That brings me to some of the dangers that might be involved in playing this character. One, the temptation to solve all sorts of problems with a cure-all that she has made. Two, the danger of being too attached to the character. Your username is QuickLime, and based on what I've read on the forums, it sounds like she has some of your personality traits? People who get too attached to their characters can be difficult to play with, sometimes, because they don't want anything bad to happen to their character, they don't want another character to view their character negatively, or they have enough insecurities that they view another player's character opinion on that character as an opinion about themselves. I'm not saying that you do that (I haven't seen any RP's with QuickLime in them), but it is something to be aware of, I think.

The other thing I can think of is that the character summary could stand to be expanded more.

This:

[colour=#282828]“As a first impression Quicklime comes off as a touch prickly and mean but she really doesn’t mean to be! She is a very blunt and honest mare that would rather have you be hurt by the truth, than coddled by a lie, she has unrelenting Honesty since her parents had always taught her that a lie does more harm than good.”[/colour]

And this:

“[colour=#282828]Her personality has been described as “bitey” from time to time since she doesn’t really mince her words very well, if she’s thinking it she says it, and to hay with the results! Though her mouth tends to get her in some hot water from time to time, she truly means well and if you get her to warm up to you then you’v made a loyal friend for life.”[/colour]

These are almost the same thing, just worded differently. In any case, it gives the impression that Quick Lime is rough around the edges but nice enough when you get to know her.

The traits I can get out of your character summary are these:

Blunt

Honest

Impulsive (doesn't think about what she says)

Compassionate

Action-Oriented

Single-Minded

Loyal

I think that's a pretty good mix of traits, but maybe you could throw in a few more. For instance, I'm not entirely sure whether Quick Lime is introverted or extroverted (or somewhere inbetween but leaning one way or another). I'm also wondering about what kind of things she likes to do to relax (her hobbies). Her life can't all be herbology and stuff, afterall. What motivates her? What does she hate?

And I think that pretty much sums up my thoughts. She seems like a nice character, but I think you can go a little deeper.

[QuickLime]

Just going by the app, I'd have to say that Quick Lime looks okay for a character. I suppose it's expected that there would be no major issues or inconsistencies, since it was approved for WoE. There are a few things I can comment on, though.

One thing that I find interesting is that Quick Lime is an herbologist in Ponyville. I think an herbologist is a great job for a pony, but... it kinda seems to me like she would have competition with Zecora, wouldn't she? I'm a little hesitant about there being any kind of problem there because it seems like Quick Lime does a lot more with her talent than just remedies and such, though.

That brings me to some of the dangers that might be involved in playing this character. One, the temptation to solve all sorts of problems with a cure-all that she has made. Two, the danger of being too attached to the character. Your username is QuickLime, and based on what I've read on the forums, it sounds like she has some of your personality traits? People who get too attached to their characters can be difficult to play with, sometimes, because they don't want anything bad to happen to their character, they don't want another character to view their character negatively, or they have enough insecurities that they view another player's character opinion on that character as an opinion about themselves. I'm not saying that you do that (I haven't seen any RP's with QuickLime in them), but it is something to be aware of, I think.

The other thing I can think of is that the character summary could stand to be expanded more.

This:

[colour=#282828]“As a first impression Quicklime comes off as a touch prickly and mean but she really doesn’t mean to be! She is a very blunt and honest mare that would rather have you be hurt by the truth, than coddled by a lie, she has unrelenting Honesty since her parents had always taught her that a lie does more harm than good.”[/colour]

And this:

“[colour=#282828]Her personality has been described as “bitey” from time to time since she doesn’t really mince her words very well, if she’s thinking it she says it, and to hay with the results! Though her mouth tends to get her in some hot water from time to time, she truly means well and if you get her to warm up to you then you’v made a loyal friend for life.”[/colour]

These are almost the same thing, just worded differently. In any case, it gives the impression that Quick Lime is rough around the edges but nice enough when you get to know her.

The traits I can get out of your character summary are these:

Blunt

Honest

Impulsive (doesn't think about what she says)

Compassionate

Action-Oriented

Single-Minded

Loyal

I think that's a pretty good mix of traits, but maybe you could throw in a few more. For instance, I'm not entirely sure whether Quick Lime is introverted or extroverted (or somewhere inbetween but leaning one way or another). I'm also wondering about what kind of things she likes to do to relax (her hobbies). Her life can't all be herbology and stuff, afterall. What motivates her? What does she hate?

And I think that pretty much sums up my thoughts. She seems like a nice character, but I think you can go a little deeper.

Thanks Ginger but I have a few things I'd like to clarify!

1: Her name is QuickLime not Quick Lime there is no space

2: No she doesn't compete with Zecora, since Lime is more about day to day cure alls, like sore throats, and other mild discomforts, her store also doubles as a tea/coffee house

3:

[colour=#282828]That brings me to some of the dangers that might be involved in playing this character. One, the temptation to solve all sorts of problems with a cure-all that she has made. Two, the danger of being too attached to the character. Your username is QuickLime, and based on what I've read on the forums, it sounds like she has some of your personality traits? People who get too attached to their characters can be difficult to play with, sometimes, because they don't want anything bad to happen to their character, they don't want another character to view their character negatively, or they have enough insecurities that they view another player's character opinion on that character as an opinion about themselves. I'm not saying that you do that (I haven't seen any RP's with QuickLime in them), but it is something to be aware of, I think.[/colour]

She is in a thread with Twilight, She is in MareCon (In fact she is running the event) She is in a thread with Spike, and she's been in several threads with Berry Punch actually,

The issue of "Danger" is sort of null considering that is actually common sense NOT to do

And the issue of "Her being me" Is actually a little silly..Yes my account is named QuickLime...because QL is the reason I joined the thread, she was my first character, and while she does double as an avatar for myself she and I are incredibly different.

QuickLime is antisocial, something she is working on (see MareCon for an example) She has actually expressed several times in rp things she dislikes (Loud noises, people that invade personal space) and she is primarly an introvert but is trying hard to be more social (as said all of which she has been doing in threads)

I do appreciate your feedback a lot, especially since I asked for it, but this character has been 3 years in the working, has 3 years worth of activity, and a lot of things you have mentioned as problems

(Her using her talent to fix any problem/Competing with Zecora)

Arn't actually Character problems but Rper problems

Thanks again I'll probably fix that bit that you quoted though..whoopsie on saying the same thing twice!

[GingerbreadSpy]

I said they (as in the temptation and the attachment issue) might be problems or potential issues. I didn't say they actually were, and I was very careful to say that "I'm not saying you do these things," so you would not be offended. lol... And I know you've created tons of characters, but I'm still kinda new and don't know a whole terrible lot about you. You wanted a critique, so I did the best I could based on what was available (I didn't have the RPs you listed right in front of me, after all, and I think critiquing an RP would be extremely difficult since it's a collaborative writing effort and whatnot). As I said, there doesn't seem to be major issues, and I was having to really, really look at it in order to find things that might be potential problems or concerns.

And a character several years in development and in activity does not necessarily mean the character is solid and well-developed (nor does it mean it's weak or underdeveloped), so... not entirely sure why you brought that up?

Anyway, is there any other character you'd like me to look at? Perhaps one you would consider your weakest character, maybe?

[QuickLime]

Hn I could suggest a newer character! How bout JJ? (Jade Julep) since she just got stamped and I didn't get much feedback on her but I think she needs something but I can't put my finger on it .

[GingerbreadSpy]

Sounds good. I shall look over her app and let you know my thoughts, probably sometime tomorrow. I will say just right off the bat that I think the character has a lot of innovation put in it.