Unicorn Plasma {Ready}

[xXDashieXx]

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria

Name: Plasma Burn goes by the name Plasma

Gender: Male

Age: Young Stallion

Species: Unicorn

Eye color: Dark blue

Coat: Dark purple with blue fading hooves.

Mane/Tail: Dark blue straight with a little bit of gel to spike up.

Physique: Strong and fit.

Residence: Whitetail Woods

Occupation: Astronomer for the AEAE (astronomer elite association of equestria)

Cutie Mark: Golden and teal telescope with a star in the glass. When he was just a colt he used to love the night time. He was super excited when his parents got him his first telescope. He would look at the stars every night. He recognized all the constellations at once. He could connect the stars in his brain and figure out the shape.

His parents enrolled him in the young prodigy school for the young. They had subjects from science to astronomy. He studied in astronomy. He studied hard for 6 months. His teachers told everyone in the his class that 2 people would be chosen for the AEAE young. They had to take a final exam to get in. He studied hard and practiced studying everything from the theory of the mare in the moon and the constellations. When the test results came back he missed one question. He was really disappointed. He found a letter in his exam scores from the AEAE. He gave it to his parents and they opened it. It said he had been chosen to be part of the AEAE. He was so excited. At that moment his cutie mark appeared.

History: Plasma was born in the proud city of Fillydelphia. His parents had been young at the time. His mother Sweet Treat is a ‘proper’ lady. She wants Plasma to become a proper colt. At the time she would raise Plasma like a Manehatten gentlecolt. His father Flare always wanted him to take it easy in life. His mother was from Manehatten and his father was from Dodge Junction.

When Plasma was just born he had gone to life with his grandparents for a while for his parents had to go on a trip to Canterlot. His grandparents had raised him on the barn in Dodge Junction. They had been with him until he was a young colt. When he turned into a young colt his parents took him back to Fillydelphia.

Plasma was always a curios colt. He would ask his parents about everything he saw. One day he asked them to tell him a story. They told him the story of the mare in the moon. After the story was done Plasma wanted to learn more where that came from. He started to ask his parents everyday to tell him a story, everyday they told him something new. Soon he started to ask other ponies to tell him stories. He had collected stories from everywhere and started to make a story collection of all the stories he had heard of. It was filled with tons of stories. He was very proud of it.

When Plasma turned to an older colt his parents got him his first telescope. It was golden with teal gems on the side of it and his name engraved in silver. He fell in love with it. He would look at the stars once he found out what it was for. He would make up his own stories and tell his parents according to the stars. He would look at the stars and imagine what shape it might make. He was great at doing this. His parents got him another plain book to right all of his stories based on the stars.

After he got his cutie mark he started heading to Whitetail Woods for his first day with the AEAE for young. He would stay late at their headquarters to do extra research. He was part of a team that researched the stars. He had been working very hard for his spot. One day they promoted him to president of stars team. He was extremely excited for this job. He would make plans everyday for what to do.

When Plasma got older the applied university of science. He put down he would study Astronomy. He was very serious about college although his room mate was not. His room mate always wanted to party. Unlike his room mate he would study instead of party. He graduated from the astronomy department with highest honors.

After he finished university he starting working for the AEAE. He worked for the main area (all areas.) since he graduated with highest honors they put him in the position of manager of all areas. Soon after he had worked hard for 2 years he had gotten the position of president. He was very honored to be in this position.

Summary: Plasma is a hard-working goody two shoes. He is always working on something even if he is sightseeing. He is quite a shy pony. He never has gone to a party in his life. He prefers to doing something in his preference then party. He still tells stories about the stars that he made up. Its one of his favorite things.

Plasma is always happy but he also is very impatient. He doesn't like waiting for people no matter the reason. He snaps at people when the make up excuses about being late or something. He sticks to a very tight schedule everyday.

Plasma is edgy and a little bit over-dramatic. He loves to act and participate in drama. Although Plasma has a horn, he hardly uses it for anything except carrying stuff. He didn't study in the magic area so he doesn't know how to use his horn otherwise.

Plasma loves nature. Being that he lives in Whitetail Woods it gives him lots of nature to look at. Their observatory is on the edge of the woods. It is beautiful there. He stays in a cottage next to the observatory. Nopony is there to bother them as they work.

[Bellosh]

NOTE: You already have one [Ready] app in the CC section. Please mark this app or the other as [WiP] to ensure we are not flooded with pending OC apps.

[xXDashieXx]

Ok.

[Bellosh]

Alrighty then, my critique:

• A specialized astronomy school for the young is a rather far-fetched idea. Having your OC get an astronomy degree in university and then joining a professional astronomy group is more plausible.
  
• No pony astronomer worth their salt would set up shop in a city with severe light pollution like Manehattan. If your OC's really serious about his passion, he'd logically live in a place other than the big city and all its bright lights and obstructing skyscrapers.
  
• "His mother Sweet Treat is a ‘proper’ lady. She wants Plasma to become a proper man." What's a man?
  
• The Character Summary looks like it could use a little bit more padding. Remember that the more personality details you can come up with, the more he'll stand out as a character distinct from the rest of the WoE crowd. If you need assistance, Rarity's App Form has some tips for beefing up the Summary.
  

Lemme know when the changes have been made.

[xXDashieXx]

Finished. I expanded and changed the school and region where he lives.

[xXDashieXx]

Excuse me for my double post,

Would I be allowed to give a short summary on his friends? It sort of helps you get the idea of Plasma.

[Bellosh]

Time for Round 2:

• Stalliongrad is also a metropolis in our Lore, meaning it's just as awful a place to look at the night sky as Manehattan. In fact, it's an even worse place on account of industrial pollution. Assuming you want your OC to be looking at stars at night, I advise doing some research on where current functional observatories are located and have your OC live in an area in our RP world where a observatory is likely to be found.
  
• On that note, you might as well rename your OC's group as "Astronomer Elite Association of Equestria". Since it'll be an extremely niche organization RP-wise, it should be alright allowing for an astronomy group that works all over the nation.
  
• Please DO NOT add expanded summaries for your OC's buddies. This app is about Plasma Burn; not anypony else. Instead, we prefer having users explain on general terms what sort of characters that their OCs are likely to befriend, and how/why they do so. Letting your fellow RPers know how compatible for friendship their OCs are with yours is infinitely more important than talking about a pair of NPCs.
  

Progress is being made.

[xXDashieXx]

Changed to a more IDEAL place. Thank you so much for your feedback!

[Armony]