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New pony in Town (private, Diamond)


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  • 2 weeks later...

Sunset arrived at her father's house. "Listen, I don't want to live with my father, I want to live with you Wright." Sunset says before knocking on her father's door. He opens it up. "Well well, isn't this a surprise! My baby girl has come to visit me finally!" Cloud says holding a mug of cider. "Where were you last night?" Cloud asks sternly. "I was with my new coltfriend, Wright dad!" Sunset says standing up for herself. "I've heard of him, doesn't he live in a tree?" Cloud says after he takes a sip of his cider, not knowing that Wright is standing next to his daughter.

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(You.Are.Doing.Everything.Too.Soon.Like, seriously, Wright just met her like yesterday, and today he is her coltfriend?Don't push it too soon, especially in romantic RPs.

Please redo that.)

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  • 2 weeks later...

(I'm sorry. I just can't think to clearly when I have to deal with my family.) "I don't want to live with my father, I want to live with you." Sunset says before knocking on her father's door. "Well, isn't this a surprise! My baby girl has finally came to visit me." Cloud says holding a mug of cider. "Where were you last night?" Cloud asks sternly. "I was at a friend's house dad!" Sunset says as she stands up for herself. "Really?! I didn't think that you would make any friends with the way you are at night." Cloud says. "Wright just so happens to like me for the way I am dad!" Sunset says getting mad.

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(Still too soon.A bit better, but still.And please take off that color thingy.No offence, really, but it's starting to hurt my eyes.)

 

"Hey!Who do you think you are?"-He shouted to Sunset's father.

(And I'm sorry for your family :( )

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