Earth Pony [EARTH PONY] Buzz Saw [FINAL]

[TheFlutterGuy]

Name: Buzz Saw

Sex: Male

Age: Young Stallion

Species: Earth Pony

Coat Color: Brown

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Mane/Tail: Black Mixed with Silver

Eye Color: Black

Cutie Mark: Saw in a wooden plank

Physique: Slightly muscular but it isn't noticeable

Origin: Originates from Manehatten, Lives in Fillydephia

Roleplay Type: "Mane"

Occupation: Repairman

Motivation: He strives to help ponies after the passing of his parents

Likes:

Seeing ponies smile

Helping ponies

Learning

Dislikes:

Bossy ponies

Ponies who pester him to do his work

Backstory:

Buzz Saw was born in Manehatten alongside his brother Clockswell, sadly his mother died as giving birth to twin ponies at the same time is an extremely strenuous task as you can imagine, which left his Father, Dusty, to take care of the two male colts. Buzz Saw and Clockswell were never informed of their mothers death, they were told that she decided to move away after they were born. This was a story that Dusty never liked telling the two colts but it was better than saying their mother died. The two colts had a reasonably normal upbringing in the sprawling metropolis of Manehatten, until, their father, Dusty was unfortunately killed in an accident at his workplace during the parasprite infestation. Normally parasprites wouldn’t hurt ponies, and they didn’t but what was weird was that they were eating everything, except the food! Dusty was just sitting down at his desk to start his overtime to be able to pay for his son’s college tutition when he chanced a look at one of the windows, what he saw was not a sprawling metropolis but a buzzing ball of colors bounding straight towards the building he was in. All it took was a couple more seconds and the building was completley decimated leaving nothing to support the stallion. He fell to his death moments after the parasprites left. This came as a big blow for the twins Buzz Saw and Clockswell as Dusty was their only parental figure, They were used to living on their own as Dusty was constantly at work trying to pay for either their school fees or even just their groceries, if it made their lives easier, he was doing it. After they heard the news they decided it would be best to search for their long since dead mother but after a quick visit to the mayoral archives to look for her name and address they quickly learnt of her death, at that moment their were a mixture of emotions running through both of their heads, anger, grief, sadness, none of the feelings were good. They were angry at their Father for not telling them. They were sad that they no longer had any parental figures. Basically they wern’t very happy ponies. After a few weeks of trying to figure out what to do they came to a decision. They would move to Fillydelphia, It was free from all the memories that lingered in Manehatten, it was a fresh start. They eventually moved to Fillydephia when they were both young Stallions, each having earned their own cutie mark they immediatly looked for work, and found it easily. Clockswell - you guessed it - started work in a clock makers making and selling clocks, Buzz Saw however used his skills to start his very own stall in the market repairing misc items such as bikes, sofas and basically anything made out of wood, which in Equestria, is a lot of stuff. Eventually Buzz Saw became so renowned that he opened his own store named “Buzz Saw’s Factory of Fixture”, quite cliche but hey, it attracted attention.

Attitude:

Buzz Saw’s attitude can be described in many ways, one of them is rude. Ever since learning of his mothers death he has grown a rather short temper, he also tends to upset some ponies with how blunt he can be. He is an extremely honest pony and he thinks that there is no reason to hide the truth, quite honorable but at the same time quite harsh. He generally controls his temper, especially when he is working, but he has been known to lash out at ponies when they continuously pester to fix their item next and general comments like that. However he has never physically hurt anypony he has made a few ponies cry, he never does it intentionally but some ponies just bring out the worst in him. However, despite being rather mean he is always determined to help ponies in anyway he can, ever since receiving his cutie mark he is always willing to lend a hoof where needed, he knows the happiness that he can bring by repairing ponies items, he knows that even the smallest little trinket can mean the world to that one pony, and by being able to fix it he can bring all the more happiness into that pony’s life.

Cutie-Mark Story:

Buzz Saw’s cutie mark appeared when him, his brother and his father were all visiting Ponyville, Clockswell and Dusty had decided they wanted lunch and went to the local cafe, Buzz Saw however wasn’t hungry so he decided to go to the park, Clockswell and Dusty agreed to let him go as long as he stayed within the park fence, Buzz Saw agreed. When he arrived at the park he was awarded with a beautiful sight of serenity, Lush fields stretching as far as the eye could see, large trees housing various birds and squirrels and a multitude of ponies playing,jumping,laughing and generally having the time of their lives. This however was not true for 3 little fillies who were sitting under a large oak tree, there was one unicorn, one earth pony and one pegasus, the Unicorn was blue with a pink mane, the earth pony was green with a beautiful red mane and the most adorable orange eyes, the pegasus however was purple with a rather unruly green mane, but what struck him as odd was that the pegasus was sat on her haunches bawling her little eyes out, It tore Buzz Saw apart so he ran over as fast as he could to ask what was wrong, the answer he received was silent but unanimous, 3 hooves all pointed towards a broken wooden scooter lieing in a heap beside them. Despite receiving exceptionally evil glares from the earth pony and unicorn Buzz Saw laughed, He laughed for at least a minute before stopping and moving next to the pile of scooter parts. He then continued to fix the scooter in record time by using some sap from the tree he was next to and before any of the fillies knew it there was a seemingly brand new scooter right in front of them. All 3 fillies cheered at exactly the same time which kind of made Buzz Saw’s ears ring but he was happy, happy to have helped the 3 fillies fix their scooter. After hanging out for a good 20 minutes Dusty and Clockswell eventually found Buzz Saw and beckoned him to leave the fillies, they "awed" at exactly the same time, somehow, and proceeded to each give Buzz Saw a playful hug before he left, the pegasus, which he came to know as “Flimsy Wing” gave him a quick peck on the cheek before letting him return to his family, after she left there was an audible popping noise as Buzz Saw blushed profusely before being blinded by an intense white light. His blush left immediately as his face lit up at the sight of his brand, new, cutie mark.

I am kind of new to this site so this is the first "App" I have made so far but to be honest I actually didn't know you had to make an app so I already have 3 characters ready to go xD. But I'll be nice and not spam the app forum with all of them at the same time . But yea this is Gerald, he is a WIP and I need to think of a cutie mark story and maybe some other details but apart from them hes good to go. I appreciate any and all criticism so please, nit-pick to your hearts content

Also here is an image of him for anyone that wants to have a look, I of course made it in the wonderful Pony maker on DeviantArt

[Dessa]

His brother, Jeremy Decided to become the towns resident clock maker which was appropriate given his cutie mark is an hourglass.

Question: Is Jeremy "Doctor Whooves?" An hourglass CM and a last name of Whooves seems to be a suggestion perhaps that this was your intention? I'm not sure, but staff might see this as an attempt to skirt the "No OC relation to show ponies in applications" rule. In fact, the name of "Whooves" might be as well, but I'm not sure about that. Just be ready to answer that question, and/or to change a few details if you're asked.

But whatever the resolution on that, the character himself should be able to work beyond those surface details. I'm seeing a lot about Gerald's family here, but what is Gerald himself like? How did he react and feel when these events happened in his life? Is he a tough little guy, or did it drive him inward? Think of Gerald as the hero in the story of his own life. Having background is good, but make sure it serves the purpose of developing the character.

For instance, what sort of relationship does Gerald/did Gerald share with his family? Is he the elder or younger brother? An important detail when, parenteless, one is essentially raising the other? If he's younger, he might look up to his brother as a second father, or resent his brother for trying to "replace" dad. Gerald might have felt like his father was a bum, and now feels regret for not having loved his father more, or he might have really respected his dad, and is struggling to find a way to replace Dad's role in Gerald's life.

Essentially, I'd like to see more of Gerald here.

[TheFlutterGuy]

Thank you very, very much, I actually didn't see the no pony realations rule . I did look through the rules but that must have gone straight over my head, but yes it was the intention for "Jeremy" to be Doctor Whooves so I will have to go through and change some stuff.

But maybe I might get lucky as Doctor Whooves isn't exactly canon, He hasn't been given an actual name by the show itself but if need be then i will change it. And as for the story and how he feels i will add some more detail when i come back onto my laptop later today, I have high hopes for Gerald.

[Dessa]

Ah, that was a topic of recent comment, so it might not have found its way into the app guides yet. The relevant bit is a few paragraphs down on this page: http://www.canterlot.com/topic/3629-the-state-of-equestria-and-what-needs-to-stop/

Past Relationships with Cast: In short, not in your apps. In any form. Some may have been grandfathered in due to the way the old board was, but there will be no past relationships in your applications. These past relationships can be roleplayed out in the RP as you see fit, with the characters as they are played by their current players, but your applications should make no references to past relationships with any characters.

He doesn't comment on what constitutes Cast, but he doesn't mention "mane" either, so I'm figuring it's any pony from the show. Even if it's given the OK, Doctor Whooves is being played (http://www.canterlot.com/topic/387-fim-cast-doctor-whooves/), so you'd need to contact his player BrambleRose before writing him into your BG. But that oughtta wait until the word from staff.

They might also try to push you into a city besides Ponyville, since it's crowded there, but I think thems more "guidlelines" than "rules"[/barbarossa]

I have high hopes for Gerald.

Me too!

[TheFlutterGuy]

I'll just go for a name change then its a lot easier, and while I'm at it I'll make a rewrite of his backstory, I'll update it when I'm done

[Pony_Sage]

Hello there, just thought I would stop by and lend a helping hoof. First things first, could you please bold the field tags such as, Eye Colour:, it makes reading the application much easier. Also if you take a look at this thread you will notice that Ponyville is getting a little crowded, there are many locations for Gerald here to live. As for his relation to Doctor Whooves, the cast policy stands. Doctor Whooves has been tagged as cast for our extended universe cannon, unfortunately Gerald here can not be related to the good Doctor. You can, however, play out a relationship with him in an RP as you see fit. Their previous relationship has to go, I am sorry.

I like where this pony is going however! I am sure that once you rework the app you will have a bit more to work with in the way of a back story. You might want to expand upon why he likes to repair things and how he got his cutie-mark. Also what does the cutie-mark mean to him, since it is a very personal rite of passage. Giving the character a back story is a very important part of the application, it gives you something to base all of his personality and actions upon. Also I don't see much in the way of his personality. Is he driven and focused, or is he lackadaisical about his work? Is he super organized or helter-skelter when he fixes things? These are some things to think about when crafting his personality. Personality gives your character depth and makes them more of a dynamic character to play.

I read that you are in the process of re-working the application, but I figured I would give you some pointers to think about in the mean time!

~Sage AkA Freddie Freewings

[TheFlutterGuy]

Cheers for everyponies help

I have changed many things in my post, the most prominent being:

• New name (I changed his name from Gerald as I realized that in Equestria ponies don't really have normal names do they?)
  
• Now lives in Fillydelphia
  
• New parents/siblings
  
• Longer backstory
  
• Cutie-mark story
  
• And a new paragraph entitled "Attitude" (Brohoof to anyone who guess's whats in the paragraph)
  

[Dessa]

Wow! You've been busy! I'm getting a good sense of who Fix-It is now. The framework is all there, and at this point, just revising the draft might be enough. Tightening up, making it read well, tweaking bits and pieces as you see fit. I could be more specific, if you wished, but I think you're on the right track.

Well, except for one thing: The CMC in the cutie mark story. They're gonna ask you to change the particulars so that there is no reference to any cast ponies in your app, I guarantee it.

If you're feeling a little shaky on your character's "voice" or which way to go with RP, you can play un-approved characters in the chat RP (link on the front page, or IRC espernet, #canterlotcentral and #canterlotrp), and it's a good way quickly get yourself in your characters shoes to get a better sense of where to go.

Edit: Oh! And the "free RP" section on the forum. I forget that's there.

[TheFlutterGuy]

I've edited the Cutie-Mark story, it is basically exactly the same but i have got rid of the references to the CMC (Changed their colors, replaced any names, etc)

Oh and thanks for the advice about the chat up above but I can't get it to work. Tis frustrating, Whenever I open it it says I have to get the latest Adobe Flash Player but whenever I go to get it, it says i already have it so I think my laptop is bugging out on me at the moment but as soon as I can I will take a look

[Pony_Sage]

I like the work you have done, but please change the post's topic to reflect the character's new name. This can be done by editing the primary post, opening up the full editor and at the top editing the post's title. Thank you!

~Sage AkA Freddie Freewinds

[TheFlutterGuy]

Thanks Sage I was actually wondering how I could do that

[Pony_Sage]

Hey there, I like the progress on this application, just two things. Under the origin field it still says that he lives in Ponyville, I know this just got looked over when you edited the app last and I just wanted to bring it to your attention. Now as for his name, it just does not sound very pony-like to me. It is much closer than his previous name, but still not quite there. I'm going to quote another user here because her suggestion is a very good one;

Flutterscotch:

And oddly a good place to look for mechanical words that would fit as a name fictional pony is Doozer names from Fraggle Rock: http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Doozers (I know how weird that sounds)

Maybe after you look over that list you will get some inspiration for a great pony name!

~Sage AkA Freddie Freewings

[TheFlutterGuy]

I have updatedthe origin but I am having a LOT of trouble thinking of a new name, I am open to any and all suggestions from anpony.

[Dessa]

Oh my gah, you put in some serious efforl. Worth the work though, huh? I think it looks great.

So it looks like you leaned toward carpentry? I googled "carpentry jargon" to try and find some words that sounded ponyish. Some seed words from wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_woodworking)

Joist

Dovetail

Crossgrain

Flute

Green Wood

Gouge

Heart Shake

Jig Saw

Mitre

Plane

Rasp

There are plenty more there too that might give you some ideas. I'm kinda fond of Jig Saw, but there's a lot of fun words to work with here. "Rasp" and "gouge" sound kinda mean like you say your Pony is, so those might fit better.

[TheFlutterGuy]

Thanks for the help Dessa, I'm kind of partial to Buzz Saw myself I think I shall use that name. As I've changed his name I think I'm gonna change his Cutie-Mark as well, not the story, just the mark itself.

[Dessa]

Woo! No prob, Guy!

[Pony_Sage]

"Assessed!" Thus spake the Sage.

[Skye]

I like how you've referenced the CMC but left it vague enough that it could be any set of three fillies, and you don't establish that he does anything except run across them and help them out, then move on. This is perfectly acceptable in apps.