Unicorn [Unicorn] Sandstream [FINAL]

[Wulf]

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria

Name: Sandstream

Sex: Female

Age: Mare

Species: Unicorn

Eye Color: Blue

Coat Color: Yellow

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Blue long mane and tail

Physique: Skinny but graceful.

Cutie Mark: hourglass with gold coloured sand

Origin/Residence: From the desert.

Occupation: The time stream and writing books/notes about everything she sees or experiences

Motivation: Trying to Maintain 'balance' in Equestria by planting new trees or digging a new pond and doing other small things she can do by herself.

Likes: To succeed in little projects and to see that good AND evil are in balance (from her own viewpoint). She also likes to walk along the rivers and to feel the wind of the desert through her coat. She loves old cultures and art other ponies make.

Dislikes: To pick a side. Hates explaining something that won´t be understood or laughed at. Does not like to be surprised.

Character Summary:

History – Sandstream was born in the desert but has been in many places after she grew up. She now roams around the forests of Equestria while writing about all kind of plants and trees she never saw before in her diary.

Parents – Her mother is called Whiterleafs and lives in the snowy mountains. She had been born in the desert herself as well and raised her only daughter there too. She is called Whiterleafs because she uses herbs and flowers for medical potions and balms. Whiterleafs now lives on the snowpeaks to study new rare plants growing in the area (not many plants grow there, but some do) and to keep balance there. You can compare her to a buddhist if you want to know her lifestyle. Sandstream sometimes visits her mother but only when there is something to be done or to get advise. Sandstream is not too font of the snowy mountains because of the cold. Her father is called Shadow and lives here and there. She never sees him unless he wants her to see him. Shadow is very fast and can move stealthy through surroundings. Some believe he can become invisible but this is not true. He uses his skills to stay unseen.

Cutie Mark Story – Sandstream´s cutie mark is an hourglass with gold sand flowing through. It represents precious time and balance. She got it when she realised she could see time scenario's in the future or past. It also comes from the occupation to keep the balance in the world (an hourglass is in balance unless the sand in it flows to a different area).

Flaws/Fortes – Sandstream can be insecure about what the balance actually is. She hopes to become as wise as her mother but has made a lot of mistakes while trying to do the right thing. She doesn´t talk quickly. She can be grumpy and quickly annoyed.

Personality - Sandstream won´t quickly react in a situation. Only when things really get out of hand. She can react in a good way or an 'evil' way depending what the situation asks for (like not helping someone because this would upset the balance could seem evil to others). She doesn't have many friends because she doesn´t keep contact with them too well. This is because she has a different idea of time going by then others do.

Picture:

[Snowshoe]

Interesting character, but personally I have some reservations about a few things.

First, the cutie mark and the occupation are total no-gos for the RP. You can't have control over time as part of the Mane RP, because, well, it falls under the guidelines of "No Godmoding" in the rules. To have control over the entire flow of time means that, ostensibly, Sandstream has more power than Luna and Celestia combined, and writing notes about everything means that she's obviously an expy for God. That just won't go for the RP. The personality has a chance to be interesting, but something bugs me a little about it...what do you mean that she "react in a good way or evil way"? Typically characters will react differently to different situations depending on the characters (being mean to one, nice to another, etc), but the way this is worded is...strong, in my opinion. I think it could use a little fleshing out as to what you mean by good and evil.

Also, her parents seem odd as well. A pony named Shadow that, from what I gather, can become invisible in some way, and Winterleafs, who seems to be a kind of mystic oracle. They could use a little more description to flesh out who they are...for most ponies it's not a problem as their parents are just your everypony, but for Sandstream, her parents are a little more special than the average pony's, and needs more description. In addition, I'm curious as to her background...while I'm a fan of only small blocks of information, not giving away too much in the summary (that way there's a chance to expand on my character in RPs), Sandstream's is a bit too limited. For example, why was she born in the desert? Why does her mother live in the snowy peaks of a mountain when Sandstream was born in the desert? Why does she roam the forests of Equestria instead of keeping to Appleloosa, or staying in Painted Pinto? Stuff like that to flesh her out as a character.

I can kinda see what you're trying to do with Sandstream. However, as part of the Mane RP, even Doctor Whooves has no power over time. He too is just an everypony, a clockmaker as it were. While Sandstream can still be used as a character, she needs editing to be allowed. Namely, she needs to have a less grandiose occupation, no God-like powers/abilities, an expanded summary, and perhaps her parents may need to be changed as well if I'm reading into their characters properly.

[Wulf]

First of all, thank you for your reply .

Interesting character, but personally I have some reservations about a few things.

You can't have control over time as part of the Mane RP, because, well, it falls under the guidelines of "No Godmoding" in the rules

It would not bother other players. I can't see it harm anyone by saying she has been in the past? I of course won't change others their doings.

and writing notes about everything means that she's obviously an expy for God.

I'm sorry I don't quite understand why she can't keep track of the things she did? I'm sure there are more book writing or diary keeping ponies.

The personality has a chance to be interesting, but something bugs me a little about it...what do you mean that she "react in a good way or evil way"?

Do you happen to be familiar with Dungeons and Dragons? You have the option to be Loyal Neutral. These are world keepers and keep the balance. A druid is like this. When there are evil creatures roaming the world they will get them to go elsewhere. But when there are too many cute bunnies or deers they will also get them elsewhere. For them this is a neutral action, for others it might seem evil. Though, it is necessary for the balance. Sandstream won't be that extreme but she will definately refuse to help with something if she thinks that would unsettle the balance.

Also, her parents seem odd as well. A pony named Shadow that, from what I gather, can become invisible in some way, and Winterleafs, who seems to be a kind of mystic oracle. They could use a little more description to flesh out who they are...for most ponies it's not a problem as their parents are just your everypony, but for Sandstream, her parents are a little more special than the average pony's.

I wanted to keep some things interesting, and these additional descriptions were not really necessary or required in the first place. But you might be right and I could add some more information about them .

I can kinda see what you're trying to do with Sandstream. However, as part of the Mane RP, even Doctor Whooves has no power over time. He too is just an everypony.

I never saw anyone saying he CAN'T travel in time .

Thanks for you revieuw! I will try to edit some points. Though I simply love Egyptian like mysterious characters and the flow of time and balance..

I hope someone else gives his opinion as well .

[Snowshoe]

Thanks for the pleasant reaction, that made me happy. A lot of people get right snippy when you critique their characters.

I just want to say that Sandstream's powers just can't exist under the mane RP without special consideration from mods. Under the rule "No Godmoding", at least as I interpret it, there can be no travelling through time, nor having control over the balance of the world. This would give Sandstream an almost God-like power over the RP world. For example, who decides what that balance is? The balance, to me, implies not just Equestria, but the entire world, including Germaney, Itaily, the Griffon lands, Zebra lands, etc. One pony can't, or at least in my opinion, shouldn't, have the ability to have control over not only the events that shaped what's happened so far, but to decide what entitles "balance". What if a character decides to do something that upsets the "balance" of the world. In their mind they did nothing wrong, but would you have Sandstream reverse in some way what happened, to maintain what you decide is the "balance" of the RP? I can see that rubbing ponies the wrong way.

What I meant about the "taking notes" part, was that the way you have it written implies to me that she travels through time and records what she experiences to be omniscient. If she took notes about her own life that's fine, but for now, simply "everything" implies to me, given Sandstream's powers, well, everything.

In addition, when I asked about adding more descriptions for the parents, while it's true it's not needed, for the moment they seem to be relatively important characters in Equestria...the first omniscient pony oracle, and the first pony seen with the ability to become truly invisible. Having no precedent to these characters, a bit more information would be nice, especially if I'm reading the wrong way into the characters.

Now, all this being said, you can still have a mysterious character with a thing for "balance". However, having the character have the God-like powers to travel through time to manipulate the events of the world to maintain a sense of balance that you write down, I don't think that's the way to go. The mane RP isn't the kind of place for a character like this...there are no world-changing events that happen so far as I can see, just everyday adventures involving everyday ponies.

In my opinion, to have this character work, given the criteria of "mysterious character, concepts of balance", you could have Sandstream almost Buddhist in a way: a view on the world that involves a want for balance and zen and flow, and while Sandstream can believe in the world being balanced, the mane RP doesn't really allow for having the power over time to force her will of balance on the RP.

Also, all in all, this is just my opinion. A member of the modstaff may completely overturn everything I said. But from what I've seen of RP rules and the few RPs I've read, Sandstream as she stands now is not an acceptable RP character. I like the base concept, quite a bit, it's very unique. But it's the powers she have that make her, in my mind, no able to be accepted.

Edit: I'm not trying to butt heads here. I'm just saying, from what I've seen of other apps and the RP itself, what I think modstaff would tell you. I may be entirely wrong, I'm only human. Don't take this as meaning I hate you or anything, I love the character and I'm sure you're a great person.

[Wulf]

Thanks for the pleasant reaction, that made me happy. A lot of people get right snippy when you critique their characters.

No problem at all! I am happy you took the time to look at my application . I can't help but try to explain/defend my character though ^_^.

This would give Sandstream an almost God-like power over the RP world. For example, who decides what that balance is?

You are right, this is a hard thing for a single pony to decide. But that is also what I had in mind for her weak point. She would soon realise that she is just a pony, and who is she to decide what the balance is? Besides, I would not want her to make drastic changes in the world. She wants to change things for the sake of harmony, but not with godmode powers. She will have to plant a seed in the ground with her bare hoofs just like any other pony. She would have to carry water to the ocean to stop the sun from evaporating the sea bucket by bucket like anyone else. The only thing driving her is the knowledge she is doing the right thing (though like I said above will be a weak point once she realises she doesn't know everything). This might seem like a godmod point, but actually is not and more like a lifestyle .

The balance, to me, implies not just Equestria, but the entire world, including Germaney, Itaily, the Griffon lands, Zebra lands, etc. One pony can't, or at least in my opinion, shouldn't, have the ability to have control over not only the events that shaped what's happened so far, but to decide what entitles "balance". What if a character decides to do something that upsets the "balance" of the world. In their mind they did nothing wrong, but would you have Sandstream reverse in some way what happened, to maintain what you decide is the "balance" of the RP? I can see that rubbing ponies the wrong way.

Like I explained above, she can't just use magic to change things in the world so won't be able to stop certain events. Though, you are right in some way. If she would use time travelling to change others their doings that would be godmoding. Maybe I should change her power from time traveling to seeing in time (future and past). She would never be able to say what other ponies are doing because every roleplayer decides for itself, but she can act like she knows? That is just as mysterious . I want to hear the opinion of a mod first though so I won't end up changing everything time over time.

What I meant about the "taking notes" part, was that the way you have it written implies to me that she travels through time and records what she experiences to be omniscient. If she took notes about her own life that's fine, but for now, simply "everything" implies to me, given Sandstream's powers, well, everything.

Hm well yes, but I don't exactly see the harm in putting events of the world down on paper. She is not passing them through to God :3. I did actually have in mind that she recorded things she experienced or saw in future/past (though maybe not future since that would distort the balance). This is also so that she wouldn't become confused by the time traveling/time seeing and always knows what she did and where she currently is.

In addition, when I asked about adding more descriptions for the parents, while it's true it's not needed, for the moment they seem to be relatively important characters in Equestria...the first omniscient pony oracle, and the first pony seen with the ability to become truly invisible. Having no precedent to these characters, a bit more information would be nice, especially if I'm reading the wrong way into the characters.

I am glad you took the grasp of her parents though . I wanted her mother to be some sort of (like you mentoined about Sandstream below) Buddhist. She had lived and was born in the desert just like her child, but she got a new area to keep watch over (balance) which was the snowpeaks. Her father can't actually become invisible, but he is as fast and stealthy/sneaky (blend in the surroundings) like you really think he CAN. He doesn't like other pony's (except of Whiterleafs, Sandstreams mother. Though he can't stand to live with her in one house) but lives in the forest. He takes care for some other kind of 'balance', with restriction to the forests. It's like a forester would do .

Now, all this being said, you can still have a mysterious character with a thing for "balance". However, having the character have the God-like powers to travel through time to manipulate the events of the world to maintain a sense of balance that you write down, I don't think that's the way to go. The mane RP isn't the kind of place for a character like this...there are no world-changing events that happen so far as I can see, just everyday adventures involving everyday ponies.

In my opinion, to have this character work, given the criteria of "mysterious character, concepts of balance", you could have Sandstream almost Buddhist in a way: a view on the world that involves a want for balance and zen and flow, and while Sandstream can believe in the world being balanced, the mane RP doesn't really allow for having the power over time to force her will of balance on the RP.

I understand some things will be nerfed (you explained well, I hope you understood some of my explaining too), but I need to know exactly what so that I can maintain my character as much as possible. This will have to be done by a mod though I guess. You gave some nice ideas though, but actually this is also what I was trying to do in the first place (Buddhistic lifestyle. A Buddhist can't change everything in the world either, but it won't stop him from trying or wanting it .

Also, all in all, this is just my opinion. A member of the modstaff may completely overturn everything I said. But from what I've seen of RP rules and the few RPs I've read, Sandstream as she stands now is not an acceptable RP character. I like the base concept, quite a bit, it's very unique. But it's the powers she have that make her, in my mind, no able to be accepted.

Edit: I'm not trying to butt heads here. I'm just saying, from what I've seen of other apps and the RP itself, what I think modstaff would tell you. I may be entirely wrong, I'm only human. Don't take this as meaning I hate you or anything, I love the character and I'm sure you're a great person.

Thank you very much for the kind words! I see where you are coming from. Although some things are misunderstood from my character and I certainly don't want to give the idea that I want to overpower the role play in any way. I actually like to blend in others their stories or areas. I am afraid it is my own fault explaining some things too poorly. English is not my mother language and I can have quite some difficulty when explaining complex ideas.

I thank you again for taking the time to help me approve my character .

I am not editing the first post just yet since I want to have a few more reviews so I won't end up editing time after time.

You gave me some good ideas and help though which will definitely be used.

Edit:

Oh and I just love your 'Road to El Dorado' avatar xD.

[Wulf]

Everypony, I edited my character with red and I hope someone else wants to look into this application as well . (Thanks Sturmann for advise).

I'm not sure how to change WIP to FINAL.

[SunsetSombra]

Right at this moment I don't have any critique to offer, but I CAN offer assistance in editing your Topic tags appropriately!

1: Click the Edit button

2: select the 'Full editor' button {Located between Submit and Cancel}

3: Edit tag 'Final' into the Tag bar - {you can edit it out of the title after doing so, but that's up to you.}

4: Press the save edit button.

That oughta give you a helping hand in getting the label right for the application - rest assured, either myself or another member of the helpstaff will offer more relevent and useful advice/information regarding this application sometime either today, or the next couple of days!

[Wulf]

Thank you Robikku for taking the time to look into my application . My application is [Final] now . I hope to start roleplaying soon when it is approved or edited ^_^'.

[BlindJester]

Everything looks good the only thing I want to know is what do you mean by

She got it when she realised she could see time scenario's in the future or past

Other than that this is a really good application.

[Wulf]

Everything looks good the only thing I want to know is what do you mean by

Other than that this is a really good application.

She sometimes gets a vision from things that happened in the past or things that will happen in the future (I won't godmode other ponies).

Like a flashback to the old days of a current event or pony .

[Pony_Sage]

Hay there, I just wanted to throw my two bits in for you. As to the visions of the past or the future, unfortunately there is no chronomancy what so ever in the 'Mane' RP, but this would be perfectly allowed in crossovers. I would also tend to shy away from calling her a shepherd of good and evil, there are too many implications with that phrasing that would arise. Also I would like to make sure that her cutie-mark is static, as in, the sand shown does not actually flow through the cutie-mark.

Now onto some more interesting topics. I think that you have a fine start of an application here, but there are areas that you could expound upon. I would really like to know more about her as an individual! How did she get her cutie-mark? Since it is a very important piece of a pony and represents their realization of thier place in the world along with there special talent there should at least be a small blurb about how she earned it. Also, what exactly does she do? There seem to be vague references to her acting as almost as a park ranger would, ensuring that the area under her control is balanced with flora and fauna. Is there anything else that she does? Does she have any aspirations, hopes or dreams for her future? Why did she take up the mantle of protector of the area that she surveys?

Again, this is a very interesting character and with some fine tuning and tweaks I am sure that she can find a home in Equestria!

~Sage AkA Freddie Freewings

[Wulf]

Hay there, I just wanted to throw my two bits in for you. As to the visions of the past or the future, unfortunately there is no chronomancy what so ever in the 'Mane' RP, but this would be perfectly allowed in crossovers. I would also tend to shy away from calling her a shepherd of good and evil, there are too many implications with that phrasing that would arise. Also I would like to make sure that her cutie-mark is static, as in, the sand shown does not actually flow through the cutie-mark.

Now onto some more interesting topics. I think that you have a fine start of an application here, but there are areas that you could expound upon. I would really like to know more about her as an individual! How did she get her cutie-mark? Since it is a very important piece of a pony and represents their realization of thier place in the world along with there special talent there should at least be a small blurb about how she earned it. Also, what exactly does she do? There seem to be vague references to her acting as almost as a park ranger would, ensuring that the area under her control is balanced with flora and fauna. Is there anything else that she does? Does she have any aspirations, hopes or dreams for her future? Why did she take up the mantle of protector of the area that she surveys?

Again, this is a very interesting character and with some fine tuning and tweaks I am sure that she can find a home in Equestria!

~Sage AkA Freddie Freewings

Thanks for your reply,

It's okay that there is no chronomancy in the roleplay, i'm sure she fits in just fine. I want to join in the mane RP. I can leave the good/evil part away I think.. But the two things that you want me to change is the base of the whole character. Plus her cutie mark is static, not sure why you thought otherwise ^_^'.

I will try to add more information about her in the application.

Thanks for your comments

Edit:

Ah I only now see what you mean by Crossover world.. That looks interesting too.

[BlindJester]

I'd recommend removing the Buddhist reference, but other than that. . . .

[Skye]

[Wulf]

Thank you Skye