SkyMunki Posted December 11, 2011 Report Share Posted December 11, 2011 Roleplay Type: Equestria Mane RP Name: Comet Sex: Female Age: Young filly Species: Pegasus Eye Color: Purple Coat Color: Light Blue Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: A curved purple mane, fairly long, and a curved purple tail. (streaked with white at a later date) Physique: Strong, athletic and can fly for days without fatigue. Cutie Mark: An asteroid with a firey streak following it. Origin/Residence: Lives in Cloudsdale. Occupation: Trouble Maker and Prankster Motivation: To join the wonderbolts, and be known far and wide for her flying talent. Likes: Flying, practical jokes, being naughty, performing tricks, races Dislikes: Having to walk, being told off, getting caught, fish Character Summary: Comet is the naughtiest pony you’d ever meet. She’s an orphan who lives with her best friend and her parents, in Cloudsdale. Her relationship with her best friend is sister-like, as they have known eachother since birth. As a result of this, her best friend has grown similar to Comet, and they now enjoy pranking and flying together. Comet's adoptive family have always been supportive of her dream to join the Wonderbolts.Comet's best friend's parents took her in when her own parents died. She appeared on their doorstep after her mother and father being in an accident. The parents had known the family since the two fillies went to school together at a very young age.Comet pays little attention to her hair, but throught her school she is known as beautiful. And although all the colts are completely falling for her, Comet would never choose a colt over a prank.Comet's cutie mark came about back when she was a young foal. Her father, who is now gone, entered her into a flying contest nearby. She wasn’t nervous – as Comet's never shy or worried, and loves flying head on into things (and trouble!) but she doubted her flying ability against all the older ponies. Then, just as she took off, she noticed the colt that was flying beside her. This particular Pegasus had always been mean to her, and at that moment, he swerved to the side and clipped her wing with his hoof. As she cried out, he laughed, zooming on ahead. Fuming, Comet suddenly had an overwhelming desire to beat the mean colt and smirk in his horrible face when she received the shining trophy. She was pushing as hard as she could, swerving and swooping, her little wings flapping even faster than her heart was beating. With a huge amount of pride, and happiness, little Comet passed the finish, closely followed by an angry colt. Her eyes alight with joy, her father held her up to collect the gleaming golden trophy. With a tingle and a flash, Comet's cutie mark appeared – an comet, with a beautiful tail of streaks to represent her speed.The comet cutie mark symbolizes how fast she flies, as does her name. When she flies fast, a trail of what looks like fire follows her, giving her the appearance of a real comet.Comet's a curious, happy little filly (about age 12 if she was a human) with a big appetite. Although she pranks people a lot, she means no harm, as she likes to make new friends and doesn't like to cause upset. Although, she ends up having to fly away from her victims, as they do not share her sense of humor when covered head to hoof in sticky green gloop.Original Picture-Revamped Picture -Drawing - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkyMunki Posted December 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 original document edited. just at let you know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pony_Sage Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 Hay there, just wanted to stop by and lend my two cents. You have the beginnings of a very fun character here. The only thing that jumps out to me at the moment is her name and her cutie-mark, while yes it seems that the names of the show are largely self fulfilling prophecies, having a Pony named Asteroid with an asteroid cutie-mark is a little too redundant. Now when naming a pony, try to think in the mind set of a pony naming a foal, yes it sounds odd but it does help. Since there is a distinct difference between an asteroid and a comet, might I suggest changing her name to something along the lines of Comet Streak, Comet Tail, Blazing Comet, something along those lines. And maybe then the cutie-mark could be a comet with a coma and a tail present to represent her speed. It is more or less the name of Asteroid that does not seem very pony like to me. Also you might want to expound upon her relationship with her friend, why the family took her in, and maybe some other simple background information. One last thing, you are going to want to bump her age up to Filly or Young Mare if you want her to have her cutie-mark, it would just fit better. I would also like to inform you that if she does attain her dreams of becoming a Wonderbolt in some way, you can have her and play her as a Wonderbolt, but I would assume that a responsibility such as that would come much later in her life.~Sage AkA Freddie Freewings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkyMunki Posted December 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 Hay there, just wanted to stop by and lend my two cents. You have the beginnings of a very fun character here. The only thing that jumps out to me at the moment is her name and her cutie-mark, while yes it seems that the names of the show are largely self fulfilling prophecies, having a Pony named Asteroid with an asteroid cutie-mark is a little too redundant. Now when naming a pony, try to think in the mind set of a pony naming a foal, yes it sounds odd but it does help. Since there is a distinct difference between an asteroid and a comet, might I suggest changing her name to something along the lines of Comet Streak, Comet Tail, Blazing Comet, something along those lines. And maybe then the cutie-mark could be a comet with a coma and a tail present to represent her speed. It is more or less the name of Asteroid that does not seem very pony like to me. Also you might want to expound upon her relationship with her friend, why the family took her in, and maybe some other simple background information. One last thing, you are going to want to bump her age up to Filly or Young Mare if you want her to have her cutie-mark, it would just fit better. I would also like to inform you that if she does attain her dreams of becoming a Wonderbolt in some way, you can have her and play her as a Wonderbolt, but I would assume that a responsibility such as that would come much later in her life.~Sage AkA Freddie Freewingsedited. anything else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkyMunki Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Original Document Updated. A lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pony_Sage Posted December 15, 2011 Report Share Posted December 15, 2011 Hay there again, there are only two minor things that I see. In her back story you mention her parents' death is attributed to a car crash, this is most likely an oversight, but there are no cars in Equestria, it is okay if you leave it vague as to how they died. Having that they passed on in an accident of some sort would be enough to get the point across. Also, young male ponies, after the foal stage, are called colts, just to let you know!~Sage AkA Freddie Freewings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkyMunki Posted December 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2011 Edited. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianblackberry Posted December 17, 2011 Report Share Posted December 17, 2011 Alrighty it is looking pretty good.For Great Justice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skye Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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