Story: OC Under a Black Moon WIP Thread

[SirShadowdeath]

Hey people! This is going to be the official WIP thread for my MLP fanfiction. It is mainly for posting it in early stages for c&c/r&r before it is finished/uploaded to Fanfic.net. Will be updated whenever I get a good amount more of the story done.

Current Progress:

-Part of Chapter 1 is done

(Note: OC has claws. He can grab stuff. Should be self explanatory, just in case I thought I'd explain)

Under a Black Moon

By SirShadowdeath

Chapter 1: Broken Friendships

   

     The sun broke through the leaves of the canopy of evergreen forest in rays, which gently shined upon the inhabitants of the forest floor below. Besides the usual overgrowth of plants and scurrying of animals that usually covered the ground of the forest, there was something else. Something lying out of place. It was a black pony of average size. He had white hoof covers, and a white mane which established a sense of fear into the animals around him. He had a small, white goatee also, which complimented his unkept tale very well. The most unusual thing about this pony though, did not lay in its color. It laid in its bony yet thick red wings. Besides this, the only other unusual thing about him was his claw-like hooves. They resembled the claws of a dragon more than the hooves of a pony. In a sense, he almost had hands.  

Suddenly, He opened his eyes. His red eyes shot across the forest floor, looking for someone. Or something. He spotted a small rabbit and pounced at it, but it quickly hopped away.

"It got away...." He said to himself. His voice was deep, yet somewhat comforting despite his hellish appearance.

The pony continued to look around.

"Is anyone there?"

There was no answer to break the natural silence of the woods. Instead, the only sounds which he hear were the gentle tapping of animals and the calming sound of flowing water.

He continued to look around. He bolted off into many different directions, but he always ended up coming back to where he had started. Then, he heard it. He heard a simple sound coming from the south. It was the sound of laughter. It was the sound of other ponies.

  After walking for what seemed like an hour, he finally found himself wandering through a small garden. Without regret, the pony trampled all the crops in his path. He looked up to the sky. The distant sun looming in the horizon lit up a haven in the distance. It appeared to be a town, filled with ponies of all ages. He took a breath before continuing to walk. The pony couldn't overcome his urge to sleep though, so he wobbled over to a nearby tree and slouched against it. Before he fell asleep, he gazed around his resting place. He heard the diverse chorus of animals nearby. He small a small, round cottage next to the garden he slept in, but he paid no attention to it. Instead, he fell into a deep sleep. The last sound he heard was the gentle, soft sound of a pony humming.

     He awoke to the sight of a yellow pegasus with a light pink mane cowering with fear in front of him. He squinted, then stood up.

"Who might you be?" he roared angrily.

The pegasus stepped back, ready to cry.

The black pony stepped forward, following her.

"Answer me!"

She began to whimper sadly. Tears started running down her cheek.

This was not at all amusing to him. He approached her and grabbed her front left left, gripping it hard with his own hoof.

"WHAT IS YOUR NAME, PEGASUS?"

The pegasus was now crying more than ever before. Streams of tears ran gently down her face. The black pony continued to grip her leg until blood started to leak onto the ground. She still did not reply. Instead, she leaned back and fainted. He let go of her, dropping her leg to the ground. He tapped her over and over again, but she was definitely out cold. He snarled and took a deep breath.

“She is so...weak. I have never seen one so weak as her...,” he said to himself.

Before he left, he tapped her again to see if she was going to wake up. When she did not, he looked to the north to see a large town, filled with ponies of all kinds. He jumped off of the ground, and headed toward the town.

    After leisurely flying into the nearby town, he looked around to see the many diverse ponies trotting around him. They paid no attention to him, and he didn't seem to even notice.

[SirShadowdeath]

Fanfic will be continued, but I will not update this post until I have a considerabel amount of progress done. R&R/C&C still appreciated.