Ponies & Dragons - Episode 1: A Tail of Two Cities

[Kirby Krackle]

It isn't often that the usually passive Tornado Ali gets her blood boiling. The little mare certainly doesn't even have a temper, short or otherwise! Most of the time, she can sort out disagreements with other ponies over some ice cream sundaes (or a suggestive flick of the tail if the stallion is handsome). Most of the time. But here she was, in her first real combat, against foes that did not have the common decency to die when struck by lightning! The NERVE! She was poised to call down more of her God's wrath but was then rudely interrupted by... was that Curtain Call? Unarmed? Impeccable maneuvers or no; this was war, not a tea party! He keeps that up and he might get...

Then she saw the blood. It made something in her little blue noggin snap.

"[colour=#0000cd]I will open up your chassis and use you both as a latrine![/colour]"

She was suddenly off like a cannon ball, flying straight at the golem that hurt her teammate, hard headgear ready to smash the thing to tiny bits.

(( BAB is +3, Dex is +3, and Curtain's hot little flank (pun) +1. Roll that beautiful bean footage.))

[Trilobite]

Ironmane steps delicately to the side, out of Ali's way, and gives a satisfied nod.

[Bramble Rose]

((

Not the most finesse of attacks, but we'll run with it. XD

d20 = 10 + 3 + 3 + 1 = hit!

1d8+0 damage: 4 damage! One has 26 damage to it, the other has 36 damage dealt.

))

Ali charges past Ironmane, head low and plowing into the construct. It breaks apart under her fierce headbutt, sparks and splinters flying in all directions as she comes through, little wisps of fire and bright sparks trailing from her wingtips as she emerges from the erupting wood-and-brass detrius.

[Bramble Rose]

Bramble Rose sucked in his breath as Curtain was injured, eyes widening, jaw dropping... then he narrowed his eyes. He wanted to destroy that thing for hurting his friend, but even so, he had to be realistic about his combat prowess. He rushed forward, spun around at the last second, and kicked out with his hind hooves to harry the foe, shifting it into place ...

​

(( "Aid Another" - d20 + 0 = 17, gives a +2 attack bonus to Blossom ))

So that it lined Blossom up to flank with Curtain, the wolf coming in and savage at the thing with her jaws, tearing at it

​

((
d20 + 4 + 2 = 9 + 4 + 2 + 2 = 16 ...
Of course I got the good roll on the 'aid another'. Ah well, at least the aid another let Blossom hit it, even if she didn't trip it.
1d6+2 = 2 + 2 = 4 damage
))

Blossom charged forward, the massive timber wolf bowling over the construct, her jaws savaging at its wood, but it regained its 'feet' under it and threw the wooden lupine off. Blossom skidded across the floor, got back to her feet, then turned her head to spit out a large chunk of wood.

​

[Kirby Krackle]

Run and hide, that little voice inside Curtain Call's head screamed. This was that same voice that usually chews out the rogue whenever he's in over his head, about to do something suicidally stupid, putting tenacity over reason, or other similar things that are only done by heroes usually resulting in their blood pooling on a desolate cave floor. Curtain Call admits that he is most certainly not a hero. Fire forged friendship aside, he was the only one here wounded because he was the only one here without weirdo powers. That little voice kept insisting: Run. And no silly loopholes based on wordplay either. Escape. Retreat. Desert. Flee. Cheese it. He ignored these feelings still. Idiot.

With what rope he had left from his climbing kit (this campaign was really starting to hurt, and he wasn't thinking about the gushing wound on his side), the meager Dirt Pony snagged the hooked end on a construct's leg. It was the one who thought it would be worth a laugh to toss around a Timberwolf. One tug to check it was secure, and then he bolted back to the safety of the group. Then he pulled. At best, the machine would trip or something and be easy prey for the ponies with more mass to them. At worst, he was still the diversion.

[Bramble Rose]

((

Making a trip attempt attracts an attack of opportunity unless you have the 'Improved Trip' feat. Also, I'm just going to remind you that you need to assign your Dodge, or else you don't get it. May I assume that you're assigning your Dodge to this enemy? That makes your AC = 20.

Spiderant AOO: 1d20 + 5 = 15 + 5 = 20. Hit.

1d6 + 3 = 1 + 3 = 4 damage, +1d6 = 3 fire damage. 7 damage total.

Curtains' trip attempt: 1d20 + 3 = 2 + 3 = 5. Miss.

Spiderant's turn:

ongoing fire damage: 1d6 x2 = 3 x2 = 6

Spiderant's next 2 attacks:

1d20 + 5 = 1 + 5, confirm for crit failure, 10 + 5 = 15, confirms crit failure.

(rolls for effect) Hurts self.

1d6 + 3 = 4 + 3 = 7, 1d6 fire damage = 6 x2 for fire weakness = 19 total. Jehoshaphat, that's a crit.

))

Curtain's maneuver brought him right underneath the burning, jerky construct, under all those red-hot pointy metal legs, one of which lifted up and caught him right in the shoulder with another sizzling *hiss*, this wound cauterizing just like the last - which is likely little comfort to Curtain Call. Fighting through the pain, he fumbles with the grapple, getting it set on the leg, and slides across the floor hanging onto the rope, finally reaching the end and giving a *tug*. While the softened leg bends further with a little shower of sparks, the spiderant has far too much stability and Curtain's strength, weakened by the wound in his shoulder, has much too little strength.

The spiderant rushes forward over him, the single-minded construct intending to finish off its first task before initiating any further tasks, but as it starts forward the leg bent by Curtain's tug fails to support its weight, bending even further. The spiderant stumbles and falls, landing heavily atop of Curtain Call, the weight sending a lancing *pain* through both of Curtain's wounds, the fierce heat feeling all too close to Curtain's desperate mind ... and yet, that finishing blow never falls... struggling to get out from underneath, Curtain finds that in its fall, that bent leg was at enough of an angle to pierce right up through the creature's wooden body, scorching through it with the burning precision it had been attempting with Curtain and could never quite pull off.

(and leaving combat order. Heal attempts first, magic curatives afterwards.)

Bramble Rose rushed forward, faint tears standing in his eyes to see Curtain injured like that. Idiot! He silently scolded himself. Useless! Why did you try to assist in the attack? You should have been distracting it from hitting your ally! Defense first, not offense! Moron! Hadn't you EVER listened to your father?! He hurried to Curtain's side, his eyes quickly surveying his friends' wounds. [colour=#808080]"Don't move, don't move!"[/colour] he babbled quickly. [colour=#808080]"Lay still, don't make it worse!"[/colour]

​

( d20 +8 = 12 +8 = 20: success! +4 hit points )

He pulled out his healer's kit, fumbling through the supplies, many of which he'd prepared himself... there, the awakened aloe, and here, the numbweed... [colour=#808080]"Idiot,"[/colour] he muttered angrily to himself. [colour=#808080]"Won't need wood shape in the north, you said to yourself. What plants would you use for goodberries? you said... "[/colour] mix, and oh-so-carefully applied ... [colour=#808080]"Would have helped plenty here, wouldn't it? Fool!"[/colour] Curtain felt a cooling touch soothing the fierce and painful burns, before the numbweed kicked in soon after, the terrible pain receding away into a dull ache.

Bramble looked up to the other two. [colour=#808080]"You two have curative magics! Right?"[/colour] Of course they did. Bramble himself had benefited from Ironmane's gentle touch many a time. [colour=#808080]"You can help him?"[/colour]

​

[Trilobite]

Ironmane stepped forward confidently, almost imperiously, looking for all the world as though burns and stabwounds were, while understandably concerning, matters of no lasting import. The big unicorn pushed the burning wreckage out of the way with the same forehoof flick one might use to remove crumbs or shoo troublesome colts, and stood over Curtain Call. "Miss Ali, if you know a soothing prayer or chant, it would aid me greatly and help our wounded friend to focus." She bowed her head close to Curtain Call's, their foreheads almost touching. Her horn began to glow, first her normal rose tone, then overlaid with another, larger, silver glow as Princess Platinum turned her personal attention to the task.

(Using "Lay on Hooves" 1 of 4 for today, heals 2D6).

[Bramble Rose]

( 2d6 = 2 + 3 = 5 HP cured )

[Kirby Krackle]

In basic training, one of the things Tornado Ali struggled with were the spells with names clearly borrowed from some fancy language nopony speaks anymore. Except maybe those sissies raised by Platinum. 'Ambulances Volantes', which translated to 'Flying Ambulances'. 'Well, why can't I just say 'flying ambulance'? That's what I basically am, isn't it?', was a question she would frequently pose to her drill instructor. His answer would be to do push ups. And then more push ups until she could say ahm-boo-lawn-sayz just right. To this day, she still can't say it right and she can do at least two hundred push ups on a good day.

On a lighter note, there would be the occasional dream in which Commander Hurricane would appear. And, rather than keep her awake all night with war stories and not-at-all motivational speeches, he would talk to her about the nature of divine magic. First and foremost, it wasn't at all like Arcane magic, which was for snobby unicorns with their noses in the books. He would go on to say that the magic she channeled through him, like any other priest of any other God, is based on devotion and intent. Not study. You don't have to pronounce it correctly. Heck, you could burp it (which Discord preferred, allegedly). As long as you mean it, truly madly deeply mean it, the power will come.

"Ambulances Volantes", she prayed, wanting nothing more than for Curtain Call's bleeding to stop. She still pronounced it funny.

(Cure Moderate Wounds. On a side note, in TF2, I tend to help people pronounce the gun named 'L'estranger' over mic chat.)

[Bramble Rose]

((

I'm going to point out that Curtain took 14 damage total - and he's already healed 9 of it. He has 5 damage left. A cure *light* wounds would cure 1d8+4... if it rolled a 1, it would heal the rest of his damage. You'd use cure moderate if he still needed 14 damage, and would run a good chance of finishing off most or all of it.

Cure Light Wounds:

Roll(1d8)+4:

7,+4

Total:11

Healed 11 HP

))

Under Bramble's and Iron Mane's ministrations, the pain in Curtain's side and shoulder lessened, the bleeding eased ... but not until Ali stepped forward and laid her hooves upon his brow did the soothing energies flow through ... it was cold and hot at the same time, and instead of pain, Curtain felt a fierce *itching* as the muscles and skin knit themselves together, and the scorched fur grew back - albiet at a slightly different shade than the rest of his coat. While the leather armor still had holes in it ... the coat underneath did not. Even soreness had left Curtain's muscles, except for perhaps a faint tightness, as if he'd slept too long without moving.

[Trilobite]

Ironmane moves to help Curtain Call to his feet. "I have never understood the supposed difficulties between Princess Platinum and Commander Hurricane," she says. "That was exemplary, T. Ali." She steps back from the group slightly and closes her eyes, praying for guidance.

(Detect Evil)

[Kirby Krackle]

Dying in agony isn't so bad. Heck, it's even with red hot pokers being jammed into his sides, which was probably wished upon him by some crook he out-scammed. So he made somepony happy with his passing. That's good. Now all he needed was one more extra moment to apologize. Maybe? To whom? What was happening again? Stuff was getting fuzzy. Last thing Curtain Call remembered was a sharp pain in his side. Then there was a lot of weight on him. Maybe he heard somepony cry out for him. He didn't care anymore. He was way too tired for all this noise. Might as well just close his eyes. The world would still be there in the mornin-

"Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!"

Suddenly there were lights. Or something. A humming? Something that tasted oddly like bananas? The near-dead rogue wasn't one hundred percent on much happening at the moment. But the weight was gone and he felt like he could breath again. Then, just as quickly, he felt the rest of him get better. No more stabbing. No more burning. No more hallucinations brought on by severe blood loss. The most pressing matter at hoof was whether or not popping every joint in his body would be inappropriate in front of the ladies. Once Ironmane helped him up, he decided he didn't care.

*CRUNCH*

There. Much better. Once his eyes got used to the mood lighting again, he took his first look around to survey the damage. Well, the spiderants were down. That was the good news. "So, we won, right?" The bad news was the damage his wallet suffered. He could feel the little-foal-tears welling in his eyes over the thought of getting his armor repaired. Or worse, buying a new set. Curtains mourned his hat most of all, looking like it had aged ten years in the day and a half he owned it. Plunking it back onto his noggin, he decided to stretch his legs a little more. By climbing that ladder to make sure there weren't any more of those things.

(Stealth +7, Perception +5)

[TortoiseShell]

Ali exhales rapidly, her chest sagging as she sees Curtain Call up on his hooves again. Apparently she hadn't been breathing during all that. Oops.

She then stomps over to him, her eyes narrowed, and slugs him on the shoulder. "WHAT IN HURRICANE'S NAME IS WRONG WITH YOU?" she screams at him, holding back the tears forming in the corner of her eye. "Have a little more regard for your own safety or at least think of your companions who couldn't keep going without you!"

She then wipes her hoof on the floor since some paint got under her hoofguard. "I hope that hurt. Jerk."

[Bramble Rose]

Bramble breathed a sigh of relief, sitting back on his flank as Curtain hopped up and started looking around, treating the whole thing like it was a minor inconvenience at best. He was feeling a little foolish for having been so concerned, when Curtain obviously hadn't been, when Ali's response at least made it clear that the entire team wasn't taking it in stride. Curtain was just *that* heroic.

He waited for several moments for the noise of the battle ... or Hurricane's screaming ... to attract attention. "Well," he said, trying to keep his voice a little light - though it was still tight from the shockiness of sudden battle, "I suppose that means that nopony's home..."

​



The constructs are laying there, battered and broken - what once had been walking around was now just chunks of wood and twisted metal, smoldering on the floor. No wires, no screws, no obvious fasteners of any sort. Ordinary flames lick merrily along the chunks of wood, sending up a bit of smoke into the room, which seems to have no draw at all. It's fine to breath now, but who knows how long that will last?

Curtain slips off to the curving staircase and follows it up around the outer wall. Above, he finds another room - this one having a nice long table down the center of the circular room, with a massive throne-like chair at the far side. Here, you find two wooden statues of a pair of stallions. These obviously have been given much more attention to than the constructs downstairs, looking incredibly realistic. These wooden barbarian chiefs even have wooden furs as armor, and there are brass war-axes strapped to their backs. Their faces seem twisted in expressions of agony.

Ironmane murmurs a prayer to Princess Platinum, for evidence of the evil around her, and finds ... a faint, faint aura from somewhere upstairs. A dull ache, as if evil had been committed there, but it was just a residue...

[Trilobite]

"Great wrongs were done here, but long ago. Whatever acts they were, they were commited above us. Ramble Rose, what is our course?"

[Kirby Krackle]

Curtain Call, after taking in what he was observing now with the events of the past hour or so, he would not like the security in this next room. Workers could be crept passed without a hair in danger. Two drones nearly killed him. These two stunning pieces of artwork? Queens. He assumed hacked and mangled limbs, skulls smashed to jelly and a letter to the Princesses about how they lost another adventuring troop. Rather than simply creep forward and look for some way to keep... whatever they were... dormant, he headed back downstairs to break the news. To his team, but especially to the scholarly Bramble, he described in great detail what he saw and what what he assumed the threat to be.

"The security is getting tighter the further in we go. I'll certainly head back up and search for... a button. A switch. Something. But...", he concluded. "I really don't think I'm good against anything that doesn't bleed. Also", he coughed a bit. Long winded explanations and smoke inhalation were not a friendly combination. "Who can put out that fire?"

[Bramble Rose]

Bramble Rose let out a soft little cough and nodded to Curtain ... "Good thinking," he said, his water skin floating out of his saddlebags and over to the fire. "I don't have enough to put it out, but I can at least settle it down a little... Ali, could you give a couple flaps of your wings to gather up this haze into a cloud, then give it a nice push over into the corner there?" The water drizzled from the skin, hissing as it hit the smoldering wood and hot metal of the creatures.

"As for what to do ... well, we're here to stop the wizard. The Princesses have faith in us, we can do it... " He looked to Curtain. "For the next fight, we need to remember to fight defensively, and assist each other in said defense. Keep the things off-balance. If we fight as a team, instead of as a group of individuals, I don't think we'll have to worry about getting hurt like that again. I'm sorry, I should have thought of that before the first conflict... " He took a deep breath, then nodded. "If it is your wish to continue scouting ahead, be our guest. We shall be silently waiting here for thy call to proceed, or thy cry of need."

​

[TortoiseShell]

Ali nods and turns around, gently flapping her wings just enough to push the smoke out of their way without kicking up the rest of the dust in this place. She then looks over at Curtain Call. "And please be careful this time. No more Kamikaze stunts."

[Trilobite]

"Wise words. I can act as an anvil, and T. Ali and Curtain Call as hammers."

[Kirby Krackle]

Curtain Call was... less than motivated by the ladies and their rousing speeches/constructive criticism. Were he more religiously inclined, Bramble's words might have given him a little something extra to go on. Instead, all he could do was recall other long stretches of hallway with ominous devices only he could dismantle and a team of onlookers whose only vote of confidence was a 'Go get 'em, Curtain Call! Holler if you're dying!'. The main difference between those times and these times is that these ponies don't have criminal records.

"If I must die, I will encounter darkness as a bride and hug it in mine arms", he recited, dusting off his fedora before hanging it on Ironmane's horn. No sense in getting blood on it. "Here", the rogue added, "Something to remember me by."

So upward he went again, recent memories of blood and pain of death still fresh in his mind. But try as he might, Curtain Call just couldn't chicken out. A shame, really. Instead, the doofus just went to work, peeled eyes scanning every last nook and cranny, creeping forward extra slow and listening for anything that might sound like gears whirling. Whatever he was looking for, those statues were guarding it. And he needed them off.

(( Rolling for... well... everything. Trapfinding makes my Perception a +7. May Trap Sense and Evasion need not kick in. Should I actually make it to the statues, Disable Device, which is +9. Yay Trapfinding. Also, seriously, I feel like I'm gonna die. ))

[Bramble Rose]

( without giving you the roll, you do not find any traps )

The room was just as Curtain had left it - table, hanging chandelier, candelabras, place settings, two agonized-looking wooden ponies in barbarian gear, tall throne. He worked his way into the room carefully, watching his step, feeling absolutely paranoid ...

And yet, it seemed safe enough. No traps on the front door... no traps into this downright tiny dining hall ... his nerves are on edge. And as he takes one more step in, the wooden ponies come to life, stepping forward. "Greetings, barbarians of the north," one of them says. "Please, let us provide any need you might have. I am Frozen Glory, once chief of the now-dead Rainbow Glacier tribe."

The second then speaks. "I am North Star, once chief of the now-dead Snowbound Herdlands tribe. Once we sought glory and strength, but we failed the wizard, but he graciously allowed us to live on this way, and now our only desire is to serve your every need."

[Kirby Krackle]

Well, this is certainly the most polite death trap Curtain Call has encountered. But a death trap it most certainly was, at least until the... whatever they were proved they weren't. Somehow. But first things first: manners. He would tip his hat if he didn't leave it on Ironmane.

"And greetings to you, brave chiefs." He bowed. "It is an honor. But I'm a little confused. Service? How have I so suddenly become worthy of this? I would love to hear what I'm sure is a riveting tale if you wouldn't mind granting me two courtesies. The first, if I may fetch my TRAVELING COMPANIONS", and Curtain Call was certain to scream that last part. Could he be any less subtle? "Ahem... and second, if we could all disarm? As you can see", he showed off the gash in his armor, "my friends and I, we are a bit battleworn and could use the rest."

As a show of good faith, the rogue, with a bit of exaggeration, unhooked his two arm blades and set them aside. He also treated his horseshoes (with the hidden blades) like they weren't even there. From there, he simply had a good sit and waited for his teammates to arrive. In those moments, he considered the idea of becoming a more trusting individual. Then he remembered these guys had axes as big as he was.

(I suppose that's a Diplomacy check. +5. As well as Sleight of Hoof to keep those knives hidden. +7.)

[Bramble Rose]

Bramble looked up in surprise. That wasn't the 'All clear!' he'd been expecting, nor even the 'Help!' he'd been fearing ... but that didn't slow him down at all, the slight purple unicorn dashing up the stairs, thinking desperately about what spells might be useful. As previously, the answer was kinda 'zip'.

All the same, he was a little thrown off to see Curtain ... disarming?

​

"By merit that we are the least of the Dark Wizard's servants, by virtue of our failure, we serve all who serve him. As you are his servants, so shall we be yours. The Dark Wizard has been notified of your arrival, and shall come in his good time. Stay here and await him, or he shall be displeased."

"And a word of warning, stray not upwards from this room," said the second wooden chief. "There are many deadly protections upon the rooms above, and if you are very, very lucky, you will only die, and your chief will not have to join our ranks."

"But such talk is dire. Come, sit, and await the wizard's coming. Food and drink of your choosing will be prepared."

[Trilobite]

Ironmane hears Curtain Call's scream more than his words, and rushes to his aid. She tries stay in front, and to the right.

[TortoiseShell]

Ali floats up after her companions and hovers a bit off the floor near the back of the room, ready to move wherever she may be needed. She glances over at Bramble though, trying to gauge his reaction to the scene before them. What's going on?