Ponies & Dragons - Episode 1: A Tail of Two Cities

[Trilobite]

Ironmane smiled sweetly, moving to dab off the smaller pony's muzzle with a handkerchief. "Oh, Bramble Rose," she said and gave him a quick kiss on the ear. "Do wake up."

[Bramble Rose]

Bramble stirs slightly at the attention, a faint smile crossing his lips, but the slight unicorn doesn't actually wake. From Ironmane's experience with these spells, she knows that 'gentle' doesn't usually wake one up from an enchanted slumber - one needs to be either more vigorous in waking them, or wait several minutes in the hope that it wears off on its own.

[Kirby Krackle]

Curtain Call felt a sting in his chest he would define later as jealousy, and then deny having ever felt such a thing. Something about Bramble receiving that kind of affection from Ironmane just... grrrrr, burned his biscuits. Yes, the rogue was well aware of how close the two Unicorns were. It was a level of friendship he assumed was forever out of his reach, with any pony. Not just the Paladin. He also knew that any relation with Ironmane, friendship or otherwise, will become instantly strained when (Not if. When.) she finds out what he actually does for a living. This brought up an emotion he would also deny ever feeling: lonliness.

"Allow me", he interrupted, politely nudging the big red mare away a bit. "I have experience with these matters." First, the apples were pushed off to the side for more room on the table. Secondly, the sweet crud was wiped from Bramble's purple puss. Finally, in a not subtle at all fashion, the little guy's skull met the table again with a single loud WHAM. Either that woke him up, or it will be keeping him asleep for that much longer. "That should do it."

He dusted off his hooves, feeling much less concern than there was a minute or two ago, simply dusting off his hooves and starting his march upstairs again. And, as he began creeping once more, it dawned on him: maybe it isn't jealousy. Maybe it's envy. There is a difference.

(More stealth rolls! Yay character development!)

[Bramble Rose]

Bramble started to splutter a bit at the ungracious wiping at his already nearly-clean muzzle - that small, brief smile of contentment, a peace so rarely seen on his face, is cleaned away as well. And then he comes awake with a yell and a flailing of his hooves at the sudden sharp pain, a brief panic splayed across his features.

"Wha!? Why?! Who?!" Add a how and where, and he'd have a full set ... it takes a moment for him to gather what's happening, and Curtain's already on his way up. He shrank a bit in embarrassment. No doubt he was the only one who'd falled prey to one of the simplest and least offensive of all magical traps. And Curtain had come back from his own heroic jaunt just to take care of him, while Bramble had just been sitting back and eating apples.

Well, he could at least figure this thing out. He set the wand atop the table and peered down at it, taking note of its key features. Wands weren't very distinctive, though ... He settled his mind into a more receptive state, closed his eyes, then opened them - the auras permeating the area became apparent, and he studied the simple device's magical signatures. Yes, not very powerful, just a minor spell. First circle at most. Evocation, almost certainly an attack spell...

​

((
Spellcraft (wand): d20 + 9: 20+9 = 29
Spellcraft (table): d20 + 9: 20+9 = 29
Sure. When it comes to identifying the magic items, Bramble gets a pair of nat's.
))

Ah, fire aspected, certainly. The particulars ... "Oh!" he cries, as Curtain starts to sneak through the now-unlocked door, "Burning Hooves!" He sagged a bit. He couldn't use this.

However, the table was also enhanced with magic? He peered closer to peer there. Yes, yes, also simple magic... a little stronger than the wand. Resist Elements, yes, almost certainly protected from fire. Yes, definitely fire. Nothing burning this table!

​

Curtain: as you move forward, you would find the next level up is a kitchen. In the kitchen, the two wooden ponies are standing there, staring, unmoving, at a fresh loaf of bread sitting next to a cornucopia. Just staring and waiting.

Then they turn in unison. "A word of warning, stray not upwards from this room," they say together. "There are many deadly protections upon the rooms above, and if you are very, very lucky, you will only die, and your chief will not have to join our ranks. Sit, and await the wizard's coming. Food and drink of your choosing will be prepared."

[Kirby Krackle]

"A word of warning", he recited dryly along with the two guardians, the two of whom he was beginning to like less and less. "Stray not upwards from this room. There are many deadly protections upon the rooms above, and if you are very, very lucky, you will only die, and your chief will not have to join our ranks. Sit, and await the wizard's coming. Food and drink of your choosing will be prepared." Were these two not near mindless automatons, they probably would have socked him one for mimicking their cadence so perfectly. "Yes, yes, I've heard all that. And I will have you both know", he added with utmost authority in his voice, "that these deadly protections are precisely why I am here! The master simply cannot have these wards malfunctioning and they must be tested! Repaired, if needed! Do I make myself clear? I must pass!"

His face was stern and unwavering with just a bit of grump for spice. And while he is no stranger to grump, right now there was a little extra. That kiss...

(( Bluff is +7. C'mon, guys! Let the little pony through! He seems legit! ))

[Bramble Rose]

(( rolls secretly ))

The wooden ponies just stand there staring at you silently, not responding to your impassioned plea. If you hadn't seen them moving just moments before, you'd think they were statues...

[TortoiseShell]

Ali floated back into the room, shivering a bit from her excursion. "There is a door on top of the tower, but it's iced over. Bramble's magic might be able to break through it if we have no other options." She looked between the three ponies, confused. What did she miss that they all had flushed faces?

[Kirby Krackle]

Curtain Call began grinding his teeth again. His front legs were getting a good shake to them too, as he was fighting the urge to just stomp around madly and have his knives pop open. And, only once, did he get a little bit of an eye twitch. Were these things alive or not? Magic or not? Malevolent or not? As of right now, the only thing he could properly discern was that they were infuriating!

"In the name of the master, yours and mine, I order you to let me pass!"

Dead silence. There's that eye twitch again.

"Answer me! You rotten piles of dead timber!"

His initial fear and respect of the threat they posed was gone at this point. Boiled away until the pot was scalded. Along with the remainder of his patience. Curtain Call was a lowly Earth Pony, so the concept of magic remains beyond him, but what he does understand is that wood burns. And while the suggestion of this action is absolute madness, it's a mad world out there, isn't it? But on the other hoof, explaining to his friends that he set the stronghold on fire out of frustration would be... a challenge, even for a consummate liar such as he. So he inhaled through the nose, slowly, then out through the mouth. Did it help? No. But at least now he wasn't raising his voice.

"Make sure the custard you use is aged properly", he snarked (though aged custards do taste better), before simply walking passed them towards the inevitable next booby trap. His hoofs were leaning on the shoe triggers.

(( Bluffs and Trap Sense and all those other numbers. The word document for my character sheet is on an unplugged external hard drive. I should fix that. ))

[Bramble Rose]

Bramble blinks, looking a bit surprised as Ali slips back in. "I ... it could?" His brain flickered past the possibilities. "I don't think I have any magic for melting ice, at the moment... " He looked down at the wand of Burning Hooves. If he could use it, he'd have magic aplenty for that task! But ... "Well, I obviously need to study more," he states decisively, nodding confidently, tucking the wand away in his saddle bags.

​

Up above, the two wooden ponies seem ... confused, at Curtain's demands. They haven't really said anything since he recited their own words back at them, aside from a few tiny little half-syllable noises, associated with little *twitches* of the wooden constructs starting to move, and then not doing so.

As he storms away to the next doorway, he finds no trap here - as much as he searches, it seems ... not just not there, but *removed*. There definitely used to be a trap here, but it was torn out - with some force and at some frustration, if he judges the scratches and indentations to be any judge. Definitely hoof marks, that.

Passing through the door, he finds himself in a bedroom, the bed piled very high with thick and cozy looking blankets. To one side is a very familiar sight indeed - a showman's mirror. Magical lights surround the mirror, and costuming supplies cover the surface - the most notable part of this collection being a blob of shadow sitting unconcerned by those magical lights, dark tendrils coiling around themselves amongst the costume supplies.

Meanwhile, three floors down, the door slams, as another pony enters a minute or so behind Hurricane Ali. Hooves stomp on the floor to knock off snow, and a curse is heard. "Queen's Tears! What's that smell? Did those two numbwits burn the potatoes again?" He raises his voice. "KNOT! TWIG! WHAT DID YOU-"

The yelling cuts off sharply... "Wait, what the ... who did this?"

Bramble swiftly pulls out his potion of Dimensional Anchor, holding it ready as hoofsteps come up the stairs, and a dark figure in a dark cloak emerges. He's even more intimidating than last time - he seems taller, somehow, and he's surrounded by a palpably dark aura, tendrils of living shadow seeming to twine around him, and his eyes are alight with green flames. A wand floats close to hoof beside him. "WHO DARES TO INTRUDE UPON MY - " His green-flaming eyes widen as he sees Ironmane. "You! How did you find me?!"

​

*crash* The potion shatters... and now, nopony's leaving through magical means. The final showdown has arrived.

[Kirby Krackle]

Ever paranoid, Curtain Call checked over his shoulder once more to make sure he wasn't followed. To his great delight, the rogue found the wooden golems stuck in some kind of mental malfunction. Was it the demands he made that messed with their minds? His authoritative tone? Or, considering his recent string of luck, was it something absolutely ridiculous; along the lines of being unable to process their own voice being thrown back at them? He rolled his eyes at the notion, almost certain that last bit was correct. But still! This was not the first time he had broken a pony by talking and he felt this sudden feeling of concentrated smug was well earned. This would even make a fine anecdote for the trip home. But this was a story for later. The problem at hoof was more pressing than any fish story he could conjure up.

No less than ten tools of assorted picks, hooks and wrenches were in his mouth ready to go, his teeth clenched tight to near pain. Frustration from fumbling the last bit of security was still bubbling on the back burner and under no circumstance would he allow himself another mistake. But to his shock, he found the job already done for him. Upon closer inspection, he found the job to be... sloppy. Performed by dumb muscle at the very least. There was no subtlety. No finesse. For the sake of the Sisters, this was supposed to be an art form! Not something you send your dull witted help to just rip out of the wall!

“I don't care how much of a hurry you're in, you don't just-” Then, right before his rant could continue any further, he looked back to his wooden antagonists and formed a hypothesis: This stronghold did not belong to the dark one they sought. Rather, the jerk simply walked in and took it, sipping tea as his minions smashed through everything designed to keep him out. A curious theory he would like to investigate further. So further he did, nosing his way into the not-locked-in-the-slightest door.

He entered slowly because, again, paranoid. Though only one eye was peeled, ready to spot danger wherever it may turn. The other was making sure each of his tools were back in their proper spot. Organization: it's essential for the thief on the go. Once the room came into view, though, the last few metal pins spilled to the floor, along with Curtain Call's jaw. In front of him could have been taken right from Ma and Pa's wagon. The mirror. The make-up. The costumes. Memories of happier times came flooding back to him, back when he was a little colt sweeping confetti from the stage with thespian dreams and Ma's kisses on the cheek sending him to bed. Back before he even knew what pickpocketing was. The otherwise stoic stallion found himself holding back tears. Shaky hooves played with the costume rack, examined the absolutely stunning mirror. It was his foalhood all over again.

And he would have it back.

His picks found their homes quickly enough (organization!) before he began adding what he could from the costume rack to his bag. It wasn't much. So he made do with a bed sheet substituting as a makeshift laundry bag. The sack was heavy once full but nothing he couldn't just ask Ironmane to toss on her back. The make-ups came next. So frantic was he to fill his greedy saddlebags, he didn't even notice the bizarre black blob clinging to them.

"WHO DARES TO INTRUDE UPON MY - "

He recognized that voice from the grasslands. The boss was here. And wouldn't you know it, he was out of sight again. He once again performed a weapons check on his horseshoes and simply waited. An opportunity would present itself. And he would stick a knife in that pony's throat.

[Bramble Rose]

((

Curtain: 13+3 = 16

Tornado: 12+3 = 15

Blossom 10+3 = 13

Bramble 5+1 = 6

Wizard: 3+2 = 5

Ironmane: 2-1 = 1

))

As Curtain checks his horseshoes for their hidden weapons, he can't help but notice that dark blob - where he'd brushed up against that compact, and a little of the powder inside had gotten on him, his hoof was wreathed in a dark aura. It felt no different than usual, yet there was that ominous glow, exactly the same as the intimidating aura that wreathed the wizard.

[Kirby Krackle]

Curtain Call's instinct was panic. This is an infection, he thought! His heart now racing in the presence of this foreign contaminant, flailing about his blackened hoof and trying to wipe away this... thing. This parasite that plagues a pony's mind with promises of power, bringing out a great inner darkness! Forgive me, friends; he continued (being overdramatic) but I can feel it taking over! I can feel- Nothing. What? Hold on. Rather anticlimactically, he just wiped his hoof on the carpet and sure enough, the carpet was evil now too. Only then did the sometimes very stupid Rogue realize what this stuff was: make-up. Oh, it would be foolish to rule out other kinds of magical shenanigans. He's seen far too much weirdness in his career. But for now, this substance seemed to be nothing more than an overly elaborate special effect. He continued to connect the dots; reasoning that if the sinister air about the wizard wasn't dark magic but instead came out of a bottle, then that would mean...

"You humbug."

With his predator's instinct renewed, mount practically watering at the idea of proving his enemy's mortality, Curtain Call took to whatever poorly lit nook or blindspot he could squeeze his body into, closing distance. And what's this? Our dear dark lord has his attention on Ironmane? Good taste. It will cost him. ( Stealth +7)

When, and only just when Curtain Call was right behind him, did he flick his knife out from its horseshoe and swing. Not for the throat, though. He assumed armor, both hoofmade and magical, to protect him from something this light. No, instead, the little sadist decided to make his target panic. He swung for the horn.

"Surprise."

(Declaring Dodge on this guy. BAB 3 and Dex 3. I want to make him suffer.)

[Bramble Rose]

((

I'm going to allow this as a 'dirty trick' attempt on the assumption that you're going to take the 'Horn Strike' feat from the experience gained in this adventure.

Stealth Check: d20 + 7 = 9 + 7 = 16

vs. Perception, with a significant bonus because of the room's layout ... and ... yeeeeaaaah, nevermind.

Attack roll: d20 + 6 vs. CMD = 18 + 6 ... his magic is stopped for 2 rounds, unless he takes a move-action to refocus himself.

Knife damage: 1d4 - 1: 2 - 1 = 1 damage

))

The knife scrapes across the wizard's horn, scraping across the ring settled across the base of the horn and slicing up along its length. The glow around the horn falters, and the wand floating next to the dark wizard clatters to the floor.

The wizard falls back, spinning around and scrabbling away, and cries out, "What?! Who?!" His hind hoof lands on the top stair, and he flails his forelegs in circles as he tumbles backwards, thump, bump, crash, BOOM, falling in a dark-shrouded heap at the base of the stairs. He lets out a pitiful groan ... "I surrender..." comes weakly floating up out of the stairwell.

​

(( And frankly, with his magic disabled, and his personality, the fight is over. That was ... faster than I expected. ))

[Kirby Krackle]

(( No kidding.))

"Surrender? SURRENDER?!" If you listened past the fit Curtain Call was having, you could hear his teeth grinding hard in-between frustrated grunts and growls. He stomped down the stairs after his would-be antagonist, his knife still drawn. The anticlimax was absolutely killing him, a pony whose life admittedly revolves around the dramatic. "If you think you can just raise a white flag and come along peacefully after all the grief you've put countless ponies through!" He tore the cloak from the wizard's back, lest there be a concealed knife. And speaking of knives, Curtain's was brought up to his horn again. There would be no questioning his cruelty. "Give me one good reason why we shouldn't just send your head back to the Princesses...", he growled at what was now his victim.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw his team. Shame washed over him. The urge to buck some teeth out was lost.

"Disarm him. Tie him up. I'm going upstairs." And he took the cloak with him. It was on him once in front of the gilded mirror, where he began to wonder just where that outburst came from.

[Trilobite]

Ironmane looked after Curtain Call, debating for a moment, and then followed him up the stairs after exchanging a quick glance with Bramble Rose.

[TortoiseShell]

Ali watched the exchange like a tennis match and then...it was over? What just happened? This past 30 minutes was very confusing for Ali. She shook her head and got to work. She started praying under her breath to Commander Hurricane to calm this wayward wizard and make him more...compliant as they subdued him and prepared for travel. She kept mumbling as she got out her rope, tossing one end over toward Bramble for him to help her restrain him.

((Casting Enthrall))

[Bramble Rose]

The unicorn fairly babbles in panic as Curtain holds his knife to his horn. "nowait, no, I didn't want, it's not myfault, it was an accident, ohpleasedon't-" He sags with relief, though he can't stop making little choking noises of terror, as Curtain Call goes stalking away with the cloak being swept around his shoulders.

Bramble quickly shook his head and dug around in his saddlebags. "No, wait... we've got these, remember?" he asked, pulling out the enchanted hoofcuffs that prevented any sort of teleporting... that, and a horn shackle to clasp around the horn, blocking all but the most powerful of magics, rendering him helpless. "Our equipment from the palace..."

He looks down at the wizard.

"Um ... I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but shouldn't that have been harder?"

​

Meanwhile, the wizard's frantic noises are calming, his breathing slowing.. and then a soft, goofy smile spreads across his face, as he lets out a long sigh...

Upstairs, meanwhile, Curtain Call is looking into the mirror, the cloak round his shoulders. He just begins to spot Ironmane in the reflection when the mirror's reflection starts to be obscured by swirling yellow smoke, spiraling in from the edges to obscure the reflection entirely. "Dress Rehearsal, where have you been?!" the voice snarls out of the mirror as the smoke starts to part again. "You useless piece of theater trash!"

[Trilobite]

Ironmane's eyes go wide, and she quickly looks around for somewhere to hide.

[Bramble Rose]

Ironmane dives behind the bed with surprising grace and silence. (natural 20.)

[Kirby Krackle]

Ironmane's hooves on the stairs could probably be heard all the way back in Canterlot. Though her lack of volume control was not the cause of Curtain Call's current grumpiness. It was why she was marching upstairs. This would make it instance number two of her calling him on... oh, let's just call it unnecessary roughness. How would he explain to somepony like her that sometimes the greasy little rogue has a bad day? Or that he wanted to not be the wickedest pony in the room for once? Or that he just didn't care about the coward standing in between him and his plans?

Oh. That's right. He'll lie.

“Let me guess”, he chimed in before she could say a word. He didn't even turn to face her. Odds are, he couldn't. Dryly he recited, “'He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.' So before you start, I'll have you know-”

And then the mirror cut him off.

What?

And then he sees Ironmane... panic. And hide. Like a giant foal. How bizarre was this day going to be?

“Excuse me”, he addressed the voice from nowhere, rapping on the glass for good measure. “I suspect you have the wrong thespian.”

[Bramble Rose]

The fog parted to show an honest-to-goodness Dark Figure, silhouetted so that one could not even tell the color of his mane nor coat. There was several moments of silence.

"Who in Tartarus are you supposed to be, and where's the wizard?"

​

[Kirby Krackle]

"Who I am? Nopony of consequence. As for the wizard, he's busy cleaning up what's left of some trespassers. Big bloody mess. And a lot of burnt firewood for some reason. But that's a story for later. Good manners dictate you introduce yourself."

Despite the magic blotting out most of the glass, there was still a bit of reflection shining through, which Curtain Call nonchalantly used to adjust the collar on the wizard's cape. He was treating it like a Hearth's Warming gift. But his casual attitude and (hopefully not too blatant) lies, his mind was buzzing with unpleasant possibilities. The most likely seemed to be a slightly darker version of Cyranose de Equitaine. He was more excited about this scenario than he should have been.

(( Bluff +7. Does Curtain Call have a problem? ))

[Bramble Rose]

The shadowy figure in the magic mirror drew back, the silhouette giving little other indication of what the other pony was thinking, but the echoing words were plain enough. "What?! You're no barbarian! We told that idiot he couldn't have an understudy! Queen's eyes! No, we do NOT introduce ourselves! That would defeat the whole... ARGH. Go get that halfwit and bring him up here!"

​

[Kirby Krackle]

Dress Rehearsal? Theater trash? Understudy? These are keywords that Curtain Call just gravitates to at this point. But it raised questions about the face in the mirror, those wooden barbarians and the caravan robberies. He's heard that all the world's a stage but this is ridiculous. Now in detective mode, he knew he needed more information and knew just where to find some.

“Understudy?” He played dumb, complete with a slight tilt of the head and a slow blink. Then, a sudden realization. “Oh! You must be the director or something, right? So I work for you then. Right? I'll be getting the nitwit, then. Don't go anywhere.” He assumed that Ironmane was overhearing all of this. With any luck, she would catch the innuendo in his voice and understand that his final words before leaving were for her. Please, he prayed to no pony in particular, let that get through her thick skull. (( Bluff +7, for two seperate sets of shenanigans: one for the mirror and one for innuendo. Using Bluff for fun and profit.))

Curtains shut the door behind him, as the following needed no eavesdroppers. Though, he couldn't very well ask Bramble and Ali to turn away. Collateral damage, he supposed.

The would-be dark lord was in shackles, to his captor's delight. Plus some extra hoojoo on his horn to prevent... something. Briefly, he mourned for Unicorn-kind and how overcomplicated they made everything.

“Dress Rehearsal, was it?” His voice was monotone, setting his disguise kit down and open. Then, as a master would, he took his time to mix fresh paints to make sure the colors were just right. An ivory horn was painted to match, a wig was trimmed down to just the right length and style, contacts were fished out from their solution filled case and extra small brushes were used to get the cutie mark down to the tiniest detail. All while his target watched. He hoped it was unsettling.

“I hope that's your name. Because somepony in a mirror is awful anxious to talk to a Dress Rehearsal and wow, he doesn't sound too happy.” Casually, he began mugging his copy of any extra bits of jewelry and brickabrack, added them to his costume. There was still an unearthly calmness to his speech. “So I'm going to do you a favor. I'm going to go up there and take the heat for you. You don't have to worry about a thing, I'll take care of it. But, uhm... you see...” He started circling the little humbug. “I'm going to need to know a few things first. Everything, in fact. So, if you don't mind...” And here's the part he's glad Ironmane isn't here for. The part where the humbug gets bucked in the stomach. “TALK. Or did you not notice the pet Timberwolf? I don't know what he'll do to you but I'm pretty sure eating you alive isn't it.” He kicked him again.

[Bramble Rose]

(

Bluff: 12+7 = 19

Disguise: 20+5 = 25

)

The bound unicorn's eyes widened as Curtain Call make himself up, till he was very nearly looking at a mirror image of himself. "What ... what are you doing? Stop that! Why are you doing this?"

When, at long last, Curtain Call finally did answer, Dress Rehersal looked briefly confused. "Somepony wants to - " Then his eyes bugged out even further and a look of terror settled over his face like none of you lot were able to accomplish. "ohno ... ohno, you have to let me go, I have to talk to them, you don't know what you're dealing with, ohplease, you don't know what they're capable of!" Then he let out an *OOF* at the first kick. "YespleaseI'lltalk but please just let me talk to them first I'll- OOF! ahhhh.. buh-huh-huh-huh," the unicorn mage actually started bawling, tears streaming down his face at the combination of terror and physical abuse.

"Ohplease, I'll talk, I'll talk, when I was a little foal my mother was a stage magician and my father was the head of a carnival and I was supposed to take over for him but I loved the stage magic and being on stage and I tried to learn from my mother but it never quite worked and then one day me and the other foals around the carnival were told by the one teacher we had with the carnival that we were going to put on a class play and when I was on stage and the carnival goers were all clapping and I took my bow that's when I got my cutie mark. I liked growing up in the carnival, but I wanted to go seek out a real theatre gig, and so when I grew up I tried earning some money but it's so hard so I stole some from the till and ran away and then I went to Manehattan and tried to make it in the theatre -"

At this point he starts rambling on and on about all the different plays he was in, and bit parts he played, and this major director who had flat-out told him that he was never going to let a Carnival Geek get any sort of major role on Mareway. Trying to tell his whole life story...

​

Bramble Rose takes a couple steps forward. "Ahem. I think he meant stuff more relevant to how you got from there to being a cruel wizard taking advantage of barbarian tribes and sending them to mug caravans to Canterlot?" He gives Curtain a rather pointed look. "I know, he didn't really say anything to let you know what he wanted..."

​

Dress Rehersal nodded, and without interrupting his steady flow of panicked words, he went on, "Well, this pony came to me and offered me the role of a lifetime I never saw his face but he wanted me to put on a performance of the main villain and could I pull it off and I'd have my own dressing room and more bits than I could imagine well I was waiting tables and half-starving at the time and I wanted a role so bad that I took him up on the offer and it seemed a bit odd but he provided the magic items to boost my own power cause really my own magic is mainly illusions meant for use on the stage I actually developed that short-range teleport for getting from one side of the stage to the other and I'm rather quite proud of it but anyway so he hauls me off to this small town just outside of Canterlot and tells me to terrorize the populace but not hurt anypony and this was just my audition and I was a bit scared about it cause I hadn't seen his face yet and this felt kinda wrong but he was kinda scaring me by then and so I went ahead and did what he said and threw fireballs into the sky and lit a few houses on fire and I admit it was kinda fun making everypony actually respect me for a change and actually feel like I had power instead of just being some wannabe actor that everyone could spit on so I went ahead and kept with them and they said I did a great job and I was brought up here and they were prepping this to be my evil lair and they wanted me to intimidate a bunch of yokels and send them to be bandits so I did it and there was a whole series of packages I was supposed to steal but they only told me each package a few days ahead of time and I don't even know what was in them they just give me a description of the package and if there's more than one that fits the description we take them all and this last one was a small cylinder about twelve inches long and four or five wide wrapped in blue cloth and bound with string sealed with wax." He starts hyperventilating as he tries to seek for something else to tell you. "I've never seen their faces they gave me the mirror and they expect me to be prompt in answering it and I've been asking for someone to help me out with recharging the wands but I'm starting to get kinda good at it even if I do say so myself and I always was rather good at putting together illusion-based stage makeup and I never really expected to be a tinkering sort of unicorn but I think there's something rather satisfying about making a nice magic item and I kinda wish I'd found that out before I ever took this gig but now I'll never have the chance and oh they're going to kill me, they're so going to kill me..."

Tears are streaming down Dress Rehersal's face by the end of this, and he just sags there in his bonds, letting out soft little sobs, unable to think of anything else to say.

​