Pegasus Windy Breeze [Final]

[AsthmaticPegasus]

Roleplay Type: Mane

Name: Windy Breeze

Sex: Male

Age: Foal/young colt

Species: Pegasus

Physique: http://imageshack.us...1/mypony3g.png/

Cutie Mark: He does not yet have his cutie mark.

Character Summary: (OOC: going to try and keep this more brief than my past Applications. Not used to writing short summaries, but I'll try.)

Windy was born to a small family. He had a mother and father, as well as an older brother. His dad was a doctor, who worked at a local clinic, and his mother was a flight coach, while his brother excelled in his summer flight camps. His older brother was always impressing ponies with his ability, ever since he was young. He was always winning competitions, and became known for his amazing skill and athleticism.

Windy spent a lot of his early life attempting to live up to his brother's legacy, trying to start early by watching his mother train and his brother's practices. Even before he could fly for long distances he was watching, trying to learn. But when he became old enough and started training for long periods of time he had a lot of trouble breathing and keeping up with the others. Windy eventually went to his father for help, hoping that his medical know-how would reveal something. Unfortunately he found out that he had asthma, and that it would keep him from a lot of his goals and aspirations. His dad tried to help him, but all he could do was give him an inhaler for use in severe situations. He had no idea how to outright prevent the asthma attacks, and was sad that he couldn't help his son more.

Windy tried to overcome this new obstacle, but was disappointed and felt that he could never follow in his brother's hoofsteps. Some other foals he knew began making fun of him, calling him Weezy Breeze and commenting on his blank flank. He never actually cared about finding his cutie mark that much, just wanting to focus on finding ways to get better. He even began participating in flyer competitions, but he was constantly bogged down by his inexperience and breathing problems. He never won, and even if he placed he was disappointed in himself. His strengths in flying didn't come from his speed, but more from his.. well, strength. He was a strong flyer, especially for his age, but even this fact doesn't distract him from his overall lack of skill.

He's very determined and hard working, but sometimes too judgemental of himself and gets too worked up over the smaller things in life. He isolates himself from most everypony his own age, not because they don't like him, but more because he feels everypony he knows he disappoints, especially his family. His brother is supportive, but isn't around most of the time, and Windy's parents try and help when they can. He tries very hard to impress ponies and prove himself, but can never overcome his own self-confidence issues. His mood can change fairly quickly and a lot of the time he's pretty happy, but never he isn't particularly sociable.

Residence: Cloudsdale

Occupation: Training at the young flyer academy, and trying to practice more after classes.

Motivation: He wants to work past his difficulties and move on to become a great flyer, though fame is a secondary goal, it is not his primary objective

Likes: Competition, Winning, hard work, his brother, doing well in his endeavors

Dislikes: arrogance, losing, disappointing those he cares about, bullies

[brianblackberry]

Greetings!

Please use the standard format for the application, as shown here:

    [b]Roleplay Type:[/b]
    [b]Name:[/b]
    [b]Sex:[/b]
    [b]Age:[/b]
    [b]Species:[/b]
    [b]Eye Color:[/b]
    [b]Coat Color:[/b]
    [b]Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style:[/b]
    [b]Physique:[/b]
    [b]Cutie Mark:[/b]
    [b]Origin/Residence:[/b]
    [b]Occupation:[/b]
    [b]Motivation:[/b]
    [b]Likes:[/b] (optional)
    [b]Dislikes:[/b] (optional)
    [b]Character Summary:[/b]

Most of the origin section would be best placed in "Character Summary", where origin simply tells where he is from (Cloudsdale).

His older brother was always impressing people with his ability, ever since he was young, and eventually worked his way into the Wonderbolts (if this detail needs to be changed, feel free to tell me).

We prefer that for the Wonderbolts we would like people actually apply for them first as an character instead of being squeezed into the role of one as an NPC. OF course if you want to create the brother at a later time as a Wonderbolt, that is fine, but it shouldn't be mentioned here ahead of time.

You can still make his brother a great athlete and flyer and perhaps even the type that "could be a Wonderbolt someday".

The rest of the application is just fine; as for length there is no need for it to be long.

[AsthmaticPegasus]

Ah, sorry, the format was a bit messed up because I saved it on a word dosument when I first got here, and I probably deleted some of it accidentally. Herpa derp.

Anyways, I figured that your policies on having Wonderbolt RP characters would be a bit different, but I thought I'd give it a shot. That's why I mentioned I was willing to edit it out, it's just that I thought that his brother being in such a major position would help to emphasize Windy's feelings of disappointment. Anyways easy fix, no harm no foul and all that. Sorry, I probably should have asked a mod before that.

But now that you mention it, making his brother a character could work out well.... Would you mind if I kept that in there, as long as I promised to make an RP application for his brother? If there is some sort of process I need to go through for a character to be a Wonderbolt then I'd be happy to oblige. Whatever you think is best I would go along with.

[MicroChip]

two little mistakes I can see. I think you have the ponify thing turned on. It changed where you wrote that his father worked as a doctor who worked at a clinic, and changed the "doctor who" to "doctor whooves". Lookes like he has the Doctor as his father. Also, the format tags got a little scrambled in the dislikes section. Other then that, looks good!

[AsthmaticPegasus]

Wow.... I didn't know ponify could edit unfinished text... anyways, I'll edit that right out of there

[brianblackberry]

Ah, sorry, the format was a bit messed up because I saved it on a word dosument when I first got here, and I probably deleted some of it accidentally. Herpa derp.

Anyways, I figured that your policies on having Wonderbolt RP characters would be a bit different, but I thought I'd give it a shot. That's why I mentioned I was willing to edit it out, it's just that I thought that his brother being in such a major position would help to emphasize Windy's feelings of disappointment. Anyways easy fix, no harm no foul and all that. Sorry, I probably should have asked a mod before that.

But now that you mention it, making his brother a character could work out well.... Would you mind if I kept that in there, as long as I promised to make an RP application for his brother? If there is some sort of process I need to go through for a character to be a Wonderbolt then I'd be happy to oblige. Whatever you think is best I would go along with.

It would be best not to mention it directly at all, but instead have the brother's application stand on its own as a Wonderbolt. You can mention he is an elite flyer, athlete, performer, and admired for his skills. That should be good for a contrast between them.

[AsthmaticPegasus]

okay, edited

[brianblackberry]

For Great Justice!

[Skye]