Unicorn Epithet [Final]

[Quarks]

(It's finalized, but I still wouldn't mind a few reviews.)

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria RP

Name: Epithet

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion

Species: Unicorn

Eye Color: Dark Grayish Blue

Coat Color: Sky Blue

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Dark Purple; Very messy (It's been years since there was a comb in it)

Physique: Skinny and on the tall side.

Cutie Mark: A written page, which is torn on one side like it had been ripped out of a book.

Origin/Residence: He was born in Canterlot, and has a house in Hoofington, although he hasn't lived in it recently.

Occupation: Author

Motivation: To write something which will be remembered throughout the ages as a great literary work!

Likes: A good book; writing; a twist ending he can't see coming; singing (although he can't sing); a cool sea breeze; cute, furry critters; capes/long coats (because "they look awesome!")

Dislikes: Parties; crowded areas; loud noises; injustices; things that don't make sense (especially other ponies); injustice; writer's block; hot summer days.

Character Summary:

History - Epithet was born in Canterlot to Ink Pot and Loose Nail, two unicorns, a scribe and carpenter respectively. He had a peaceful childhood, even if he wasn't the most sociable unicorn in Canterlot. He found it difficult to fit in with the upper-class ponies, and usually stood in a corner whenever invited to a fancy party. Indeed, he barely had any friends throughout his entire Colthood. Both tried to win them over to their professions, and while he showed no affinity for carpentry, he had a least a mild skill in writing.

As Epithet matured, he grew worried about his future profession. He, like every other foal his age, wanted his cutie mark. He tried to become a scribe like his mother, even spending a day at the Canterlot archives as an experiment, but soon realized it wasn't for him. Despondent, he was about to leave when he found a very interesting book - The Collection of Great Literature, a compilation of essays and selections from great authors. He was so entranced that he stayed until official closing time, at which point he was forced to hurriedly return the book. But he was in such a hurry that he inadvertantly ripped out a page, although he didn't notice until he returned home. The page contained the famous "What a Piece of Work is Pony" speech from Horselet. Inspired, Epithet tried his hand at fiction writing and found that he was actually very good at it. Indeed, his magic, while not very powerful, was perfect for complete mastery of the pen. The next twelve hours were spent collecting every sheet of paper he could find and writing dozens of poems and short stories. After he had poured out every thought he had, he collapsed on his bed and fell into a deep sleep, barely noticing the flash of light on his flank. The next morning, he proudly returned the missing page before seeking out a publisher for some of his work.

For a few months, he published a series of well-written short stories and even a book, all of which were of a reasonably high quality. However, he began to run out of inspiration. He couldn't think of any new deep, meaningful material. Thus began a decline in his writing. He had made enough bits to move out of his parents' home, and he purchased a small house in Hoofington, hoping the sea and the lack of ponies would give him more inspiration. They did not. Epithet created no more great works. Instead, he wrote a number of adventure and mystery novels. These weren't high literature, but they weren't bad either, and they made Epithet a good living.

Then, one day, Epithet had an existential crisis. He grew worried that he had strayed from his roots in "good literature". He decided to go back out into Equestria and find new inspiration. That's where he is now, travelling Equestria and recording just about everything he does and everyone he meets. Unfortunately for the literary world, it's been a while since he's had to write anything difficult and thought-provoking, so it'll be a while until his book's ready.

Personality - Epithet is a nice pony, in his own way- he can be kind and generous, and he knows when something is wrong. But he finds it very hard to interact with other ponies. It's not that he's shy; indeed, he's very self-confident. He just sees everything the way it is in a story- simple, formulaic, even predictable, if you know your stuff. The love interest leaves her true love, but don't worry, he'll burst in on her wedding and they'll get back together. But ponies don't work that way in real life, and that's an issue for Epithet. He's terrible at picking up social cues. If there's a "line", odds are he'll cross it. His self-confidence can also come across as annoying to other ponies, and, like many artists, he can be mercurial and random. He'll speak up for what's right, even when it's probably best to just put up with it. To put it his way, "it's the principle of the matter!" And, of course, he likes to point out flaws and inefficiencies in everything. In short, you'll want to hit him in the face if you interact with him for too long. But he is a nice guy, really, you just have to have the patience for him.

[SkyMunki]

Okay, this looks like a cool, creative idea for an OC pony and I'm looking forward to seeing Epithet around the RP forums. Since you asked for a review, there's just a few things I'd like to mention.

Firstly, it is mentioned in the guide to applying for a character not to colour the writing. While it's not a big issue, I just thought I would let you know that the best colour for text is black, and the best font is the simplest when it comes to applications.

Next, I'm just going to point out that you haven't filled out the name field. Probably just one of those silly mistakes we all make.

Next onto the layout of the application. This isn't a specific rule, but I tend to put blank line gaps between each field. It makes it easier to read and looks neater.

Next, another point on the presentation, it looks as though the bolding of the field titles (e.g. "age") hasn't worked properly. Instead of seeing bold writing i can see the .

Forgive me if i am wrong - it may just be my iPod. But you may want to look into that.

I know how Epithet looks because of the picture, but where you've said the colour of his mane and tail, why don't you go into some more detail about the actual style?

I don't think you've mentioned that he's a unicorn. How about giving us some insight to Epithet's magic skill; is he bad at magic, what does he use it for?

Finally, and this is just me speculating now, but you did say he didn't fit in well with "upper class ponies". If this is the case then what about lower class ponies? Does he have any friends at all? Cousins he likes maybe?

Hope I've helped and good luck!

[Quarks]

Thanks for all your help! I'd copied the application code wholesale, hence the color and stuff, guess it didn't work too well. I've also sharpened up a few of the details you mentioned.

Again, thank you for your very helpful review.

[Armony]

This is looking like a pretty interesting character, but there's a few small things I think could use some clarity and revision.

As a unicorn, Hhe possessed basic telekinetic magic, (enough to levitate a pen, for example) but nothing very special.

After their magic surges pass, young unicorns generally don't have any magic capabilities until around the time they're going to be getting their cutie mark, so this part should be revised to reflect that.

Then, one day, for no apparent reason, Epithet had an existential crisis. He grew worried that he had strayed from his roots in "good literature".

This statement seems to contradict itself; you say there's no apparent reason, but then you immediately give the reason for his existential crisis, making it sound like the reason is apparent.

Also, as just a small suggestion for formatting, you should add an extra line between your paragraphs to make them a little easier to read, like I've done with this post.

Other than that, I really like his quirky personality, and can't wait to see what sorts of adventures and trouble he gets into!

[MyLittlePonyTales]

How is this Application coming along?

[Quarks]

The app is finished; I've been waiting for it to be looked over for a while now.

[Armony]

I've been waiting on a response to let me know that the changes I asked for had been made.

Looking things over, I can see now that you made them, and I can find nothing more to comment on, so I'm sending you up for approval

[MyLittlePonyTales]

Yep! You should always comment when you've updated, so a staff members knows. There are too many Applications to be checking all the time if a user has made updates to a character. You need to let us know.

[SunsetSombra]

Looking good and ready to roll - stamping for great justice!

seems to be a very interesting character, let's see how he fares!