Good day, all!

SO

My first entry, and it's certainly gonna be a goodin. Ended up skipping the story. Good things are worth waiting for! Magi will tuck you all in safe and sound next Wednesday, but for now, I'm here to destroy your cardiac system.

THE Y.M.B.T. BURGER (otherwise known as the 'Y'all Must Be Trippin' Burger. Explanation to follow!)

SO. I went to Wendy's with a couple friends of mine. At, like, midnight. We all had the brilliant idea of 'hey, lets order 100 chicken nuggets and hope they don't spit in it!'. Seemed like an awesome idea!

And it never stopped being an awesome idea. After Having to repeat ourselves to the drive-thru, as soon as we arrived at the window the woman who took our money immediately shouted, hands on her hips: 'Y'all must be trippin'! You must loooove chicken nuggets!' Yes Ma'am. Yes we do. So we paid our $30 and left.

I, however was not satisfied with chicken nuggets. I was hungry. My friends said 'no don't make a mess' but I was like 'no, messes are happening'. So I shredded these nuggets and added some buffalo sauce to this mess of dead fowl. So now I had basically a buffalo chicken dip made of chicken nuggets. While I was busy working my art, my friends had already finished their nuggets and were already playing Donkey Kong Country. I decided to make a patty out of this delicious mess, and fry it. Now I had a semi-solid fried patty of shredded buffalo chicken. Already my friends commented on the absurdity of my actions, but I was not done.

Justice is never done.

I, for some reason, could not stop thinking about my old favorite. The burger that made me swear off Burger King for years because they got rid of it. The Loaded Steakhouse Burger. Mashed taters, fried onions, A1 steak sauce, cheese, and a meat patty all in a nice messy bun. My purpose had been fulfilled.

So now I had the idea to mix these devious devices. Yes, I made a double burger with one Bubba's burger patty (best ones to use ever in my glorious and irrefutable opinion). While my brother grilled the burger and used lemon pepper seasoning to make it 20% cooler, I got to work on mashed taters. Not a lot, but enough to make a decent bowl for a single person. Simultaneously, we fried some onion slices. Once the burger was done, I reheated my buffalo patty and built my burger.

Lets recap:

Bubba's seasoned burger patty of deliciousness

Wendy's shredded buffalo nugget chicken patty

Mashed potatoes (with a little Velveeta for taste)

Fried onions

Buns

Delicious.

ANALYSIS:

It's hard to describe just how much I enjoyed this sandwich. It's... It's like a heart attack in the bun alone. Grown men have cried over morsels this juicy and meaty, spicy and refined. Just this basic death burger was enough to e the envy of my friends, who have witnessed my power before. But then we all clocked out around 3AM. Remember children, good things come to those who wait. They could've had a Y.M.B.T., but nooooo.

Anyway, there's the first. Of many. Certainly not my most elaborate dehealthifyer, but it was wonderful nonetheless. I feel I could've still added another sauce to it. But, you know what they say about hindsight.