Starstruck

Thank you guys so much for helping me!

Everything has been edited to you recommendations ~ Thanks for helping so much!

No Problem~

Thanks~ I've fixed that bit about the clipping i missed and I think I've solved the problem to her staying in Ponyville. That while she has a residence in Ponyville, she only comes back once a month to clean and pick up mail. Tell me what you think I quite like the idea of a traveling Bard~ so instead of picking one other location I chose all the other locations! looking forward to hearing from you!

Hello and thank you for starting to finalize my application~ I believe i have changed everything you have requested to be changed and that it is agreeable to what the staff agrees to. i now get what you are trying to have and i understand that. Please keep up the good work and thank you again for looking at my Application~

Okay so on your first thing about the eclipse... I think i remember saying that she had stared at it for a while before the babysitter noticed. She didn't stop looking at it because she was so young and didn't know what was happening with her eyes so she continued to look where she had been looking further damaging her eyes. I can add that to the application if you would like.... As for the second one, I mentioned in an earlier comment about how she has a wonderful memory and could remember where a single item had been placed(Either it be furniture or her toothbrush). So as long as big things were not moved around she could find every thing she needed. She was able to recognizes other ponies by their voice and was also able to tell where they were standing at that time. I understand about the clipping and will change it asap. Sorry... I'm kinda into grim-dark stuff if you couldn't tell. I'll just tweak those things and wait for your reply~

Good question~ her teacher had noticed something off about her but the eclipse had happened over the summer so, this had been her new teacher when she got into the next grade(or.... at least i think thats how the Equestrian school system works...... ) She was able to hide it because she was sort of able to gain something along the lines of a sixth sense so to speak. Once she knew where an object was she would be able to remember that for however long she would need that information. Thus she was able to move around the class room, school, and the city from memory. Like photographic memory or something~ Thanks for looking it over and giving me some feed back! I love to hear what people think about my work~

I think it's done i haven't had any one reply to edit it about changing it but it certainly has changed a lot more then i thought it would. So its probably about as finished as i could get it with out anymore input.

Oh okay..... Yeah i guess you're right..... I just.... meh.....

Hm that does sound better I'll fix that~.... But wouldn't that make her sound like Trix- ITS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE TO YOU CUR!- WHATEVER!

Okay so i think i fixed all of the problems that you presented to me and I think i'm mostly done....

Hmm... True but I actually have found a different plan for her.... She's going to be a singer for hire and panhandles.... Because her voice is beautiful and.... I can't think of anything else. But that was a good idea!

Well those are some great pointers and I think i might go with changing her job.... If only i can figure out what her new job will be.... Does anyone have some ideas?

It's coming along well and i would most definatly like to keep her i just haven't found the right story for how she teaches birds to sing.... I'm kinda stumped on that one but please do not remove her

I'll change that right away until it's all fixed up thanks!

Oh wow... That's a lot to go over but those two major points are very good ones I will try to think about how i can fix them.... I may possibly take out the part about the Cakes but i certainly will find the time and inspiration to go over the Singing and teaching of birds into her story soon! Thanks for the help! It is very much appreciated!

Yeah they even brought me here! And so far i absolutely love this site! #1 in my book so far!

Oh okay that's an easy fix! Thanks for helping out!

You'll be the first one i ask! Thanks for offering to help!

@Euphoria: Thanks~ @MLP Tales: Will do~

Of course I can! once.... I actually start to put it up.....

Roleplay Type:World of Equestria Rp Name:Starstruck Sex:Female Age:Mare Species:Pegasus Eye Color:Pale purple Coat Color:Light blue Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: White mane with a purple streak down it along with her tail both naturally strait. She has freckles along with white tipping on her hooves and muzzle.(Like Twilight's mane; Attachment 1) Physique:Slightly smaller for a pegasus pony but, like Fleet Foot, what she lacks in size, she makes up for in speed. Cutie Mark:A Heartshaped music note with a star crossing over it (Cutemark story in Summary; Attachment 2) Origin/Residence:Canterlot/ Ponyville but does not stay there often(Story in Summary) Occupation: She is a traveling Bard singing of the olden times of Equestria and the surrounding lands. She tends to sing in town squares working as a Street Performer and Bard on regular days mostly and occationally singing at a dinner party or two around the different towns. Motivation:She keeps going even though fate has cruelly warped her original plans. She plans to become a Wonderbolt by not telling them about her disability before she is accepted. Likes: Rain, thunderstorms, a good book, chocolate, nights, flying fast, and Hot Coco, Dislikes: Bright sunlight,things jumping out and scaring her, Loud noises, Character Summary:She moved to Canterlot before she was born. Her mother was five months along when her father got a new job working at the local grocer's market as his talent is managing things. She was born normally in the Canterlot Hospital. Her mother and father were ecstatic to have a filly all their own. But she was a curious little tyke. They had just brought her home when she first escaped her crib. They couldn't keep her in the darn thing and they didn't know why. After a few times they just accepted it and went on with their lives after placing her back in the crib only for her to escape yet again. She went to school and learned how to do all the fancy mathematics and went to Flight school in the summer, but nothing was more important to Starstruck than getting into the Wonderbolts. She had heard of them when she first went to flight camp. She was amazed by the speed of the pegasi that were on the team and she knew she had to get on that team. She actually had a poster of the whole Wonderbolts team which is autographed by each team member.From that moment on, she strove to be the fasted and the quickest at every activity the camp instructors had put her to, and she slowly grew to the front of the class. Her coaches were impressed and they inputted her for the Young Fliers competition. Though she didn't win the day with the Wonderbolts, she had still gotten second and she now knew how fast she needed to be next year. But Fate decided to intervene. On a certain day only a few years after Starstruck had been born and shortly after her summer at flight camp, there was to be an Eclipse. They all had been warned by scientists not to look directly at the Eclipse for the sake of their eye sight. That day, her parents had gone out to watch the event alone and had hired a foalsitter to watch her. The Unicorn had no idea what hit her as she had zoomed around the room, hitting her head on the ceiling occasionally. Both the foalsitter and the small pegasus foal went out side to watch the anomaly. Everypony watched as the moon crossed directly in between the Earth and sun, covering the sun entirely, pausing for a few seconds, then returning back towards the horizon. Starstruck couldn't resist a peak at the rare anomaly and what she saw was so beautiful that she couldn't describe it for the world and continued to stare at it for minutes. But the next moment, Fate decided to have a little fun with the small filly's destiny. All the small filly could remember was a burning sensation, and then slowly everything started to grow darker until there was nothing but black.... thick dark black. Her parents were furious. She had never see- heard them be so shocked. She had sat crying silently, still staring at where she had seen the eclipse, for ten minutes before her foalsitter noticed something was wrong with the rambunctious girl. The poor unicorn asked what was wrong and the small filly slowly felt her eyes open but she couldn't see her sitter's bright yellow face. The bright purple color they had once been was now a foggy pale purple due to the sun anomaly. They were horrible and yet beautiful at the same time, or so she had been told. She for one will never see again. Her parents had immediately rushed her to the hospital after a weeping foalsitter called and told them everything. But there was no help for her eyes. And if she couldn't see, it wasn't safe for her to fly in a big city such as Canterlot. Her father thought it best to have one of them in the room at all times when she was at home so that she didn't hurt herself by flying into anything. They also had her promise that she would not fly at school or when ever she was outside, and of course she promised. Her parents had to meet with her teacher because any written papers she would have gotten she would not have passed so they eventually told her teacher about it, but the nice pony was sworn that she would tell no pony after the filly's request. Years past, and one day, the exotic bird sales man happened to pass by as the young ponies were having lunch. Starstruck heard the songs that the birds were singing and quietly started to hum a song that her mom use to sing to her. She had heard other ponies singing and, having never tried it herself, she wanted to try it as well. She opened her mouth and sang a lullaby about resting sleepy heads. Everypony in and around the school yard were so amazed at what they had heard they all burst into applause. She blushed and ducked at the applause but she knew that she had something special. Then there were whispers about a cutie mark and she immediately looked down at her flank before she could stop herself. Her eyes started to well-up with tears at the darkness that was so consistent for her nowadays, but she didn't let her disability keep her down for long. She jumped up and down like any young foal at finally getting the one thing that every foal desired. Later, before her parents came to pick her up from school, she asked her teacher what the mark on her flank looked like. The mare happily described the bright red heart-shaped note that now branded her sides but was confused by the star that was shooting into it. The filly knew exactly what it meant and her spirits soared at the thought. The star represented her speed in the sky and she now knew that her parents couldn't keep her on the ground for long. Her parents had been impressed that she had gotten her cutie mark and quickly found singing classes to hone the singing ability in order to drive her true dream out of her mind. It fortunately did not work, for she knew what they were trying to do to her. Even more years past and she grew into a fine young mare, but her parents- being the overprotective type- still would not let her move out of the house. She continued on growing slowly farther away from her parents knowing that they would never let her have the freedom of flying.She started to go out to a park that was near her house at night and fly around above the trees slowly training her wings back into shape. This was fine and all but she didn't like flying only at night to avoid her parents. She thought about what to do and she came to the conclusion that she would have to run away. But where would she run to? She knew that her parents would do everything to find her and so she decided she would have to move around. She looked up traveling jobs and found one that she felt most comfortable with. A bard could travel from town to town without looking suspicious, and she knew a lot about Equestrian folklore, but where to start? She had heard that there had been a lot of activity in Ponyville recently and it sounded like a quaint little town. She also heard that it was a small town with only one building over two or three stories tall, which meant that she would be able to fly with out running into anything. She quickly arranged for a train ticket to Ponyville on months of saved up allowance. She was out of her father's reach by the next morning, her autographed photo of the Wonderbolts under one wing and twenty bits to her name. Her departure went off without a hitch, having not told anypony she was leaving. Sure she had friends... but they didn't really care for her. None of them had even once questioned why her eyes were so blank when ever they talked to her. You see, she never told anypony she was blind, because she didn't want to be treated differently because of her disability. She had heard the sounds of birds as the train passed trees on the way to Ponyville and she hummed along happily having something to distract her from what she had done that morning. She arrived in Ponyville around midday and turned to the pony standing on the loading dock next to her where the nearest coffee house was. The older stallion told her but she kindly asked him if he could lead her there since she 'did not have her barrings of the town yet.' The gentlecolt had said yes and he and his wife walked with her towards the shop. They said their names were Apollo and Juniper Branch. The two introduced themselves as aristocrats that were staying in their get-away home in Ponyville for a few day and made a few comments on the weather patrols poor job at keeping the skies clear. They ended up getting coffee together and they talked at the cafe for a little while longer. The quickly got around to the topic of cutie marks and she told them about her singing abilities. They almost had to beg her to give them a sample and when she finally did, they loved it. They asked her to come and sing at their party that was later on that week and she agreed since they said they would pay her. They were about to leave before the wife asked about her eyes. She thought about lying to them but since they had been so friendly with her, she told them the entire story. Both Apollo and Juniper were appalled that her parents would do such a thing to her, saying that she had never heard of stuck a thing as not allowing a pegasus filly to fly. StarStruck smiled sadly before bidding them adew but Juniper Branch stopped her before she could move so much as an inch saying that she could stay with them at their get away until she was able to stand on her own four hooves. She told them she couldn't accept such an offer and she told them that she planed to be a bard but the older mare was insistant that the blind Pegasus stay with them. She said that everypony needs some place to call home every once in a while. Juniper offered her that she could pay them rent while they stayed in Canterlot if she agreed to play at any of their parties when they asked and that she kept the house clean. Starstruck knew she would never be able to find a better deal and agreed to it following them back to their lavish home towards the center of town. She was finally starting to put her horrible past behind her.

Did... I say something wrong?

Hi there~ I thought i'd return the favor and say hi back to you!