Shadowmist Posted July 10, 2012 Report Share Posted July 10, 2012 ~This is my first attempt at writing some brony poetry so it might suck a bit more than my usual style. But feel free to tell me what everypony thinks, and hopefully you enjoy it at some magnitude.DiscordChaos plays as the piano strays. He creeps up the flanks of the over-lax, to consume and detur unto madness! Faces turn eyes widen and hooves tremble yet aside from reaction beyond a whimsy double take fail to overturn as he overtakes everyponie's sanity. Discord is the very essence of strange, he flops roads to soap, clouds to candy, and corrupts all he touches. Discord is coming for you, so better herd away.~Shadowmist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireDash Posted July 10, 2012 Report Share Posted July 10, 2012 It's very good, I quite like the flow, but perhaps you could space out your lines a bit. Poets space their lines, make some short, some long because they want them to be read a certain way. It helps a bit with the flow and it looks more neat and less bunched together.Otherwise, I quite like it. Good job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowmist Posted July 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2012 Thanks for the feedback ^.^ I'll try to tweak it a bit to see if i can improve my spacing. I was really nervous about the flow because it was my first poem about mlp fim. Hopefully I can improve the quality and maybe make some more poems .~Shadowmist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireDash Posted July 10, 2012 Report Share Posted July 10, 2012 I hope you do, I look forward to reading more. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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