Pegasus Jade Lance (Final V0.7)

[Raikomaru]

Roleplay Type: The Mane RP

Name: Jade Lance

Sex: Female

Age: Filly

Species: Pegasus

Coat Color: Green

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Pure white, styled to resemble fire.

Eye Color: Gold

Cutie Mark: A metallic-looking lance, superimposed over a fancy shield.

Physique: Jade's a bit on the shortish side, but don't let her slightly-smaller-then-usual stature fool you. She's rather toned and muscular...as she'd need to be, in order to fly with all her armor on!

Origin: Originally from Filydelphia, her parents moved to Cloudsdale when she was young.

Occupation: A student at the Cloudsdale academy, currently undergoing training to 'deal with the Manticore problem'.

Motivation: Having grown up learning about Manticores, and the problems they cause at Equatria's borders, Jade Lance has taken it upon herself to train hard to repel them, should an incursion happen. To keep Equestria, and especially her friends, safe from these monsters, she trains diligently every chance she gets.

Likes: Jade Lance is a notorious sweet-tooth, and just can't get enough of sweet things to eat. In addition, she's very fond, if slightly protective, of her friends.

Dislikes: Besides the potential of a Manticore threat, Jade Lance's main dislike comes from broccoli. She never did learn how to appreciate the taste, and will avoid it if at all possible. In addition, she's also not terribly good at mathematics.

Character Summary: Born to a somewhat unremarkable Pegasus family, Jade Lance spent her early youth in Fillydelphia, hanging out with her friends and playing around. However, suddenly, her parents announced that they were moving to Cloudsdale. Lance went with, doing what she could to keep herself at least somewhat dignified during her goodbyes. Once there, she was enrolled in the Flyer Academy, to learn the art of Being A Pegasus.

While there, she learned of the Manticores. They were described as horrible mishmashes of everything that's wrong in the world, and causing ever so many problems whenever their paths crossed with Equestria's borders. From the moment she heard of them, Lance knew...one day, she might be called upon to deal with these beasts.

Something changed. While she studied diligently, she began training even more, strapping a wooden pike to her head and practicing her flying charges. Over time, she began to stylize this pike, fashioning it like the horn of a proud unicorn, to pay homage to a friend of hers back in Fillydelphia. With her naturally proud and slightly boastful demeanor, new students who didn't spot the straps sometimes mistook her for an Alicorn. Lance simply rolled with that, and adopted it into her boast.

However, this was not enough. Being able to strike is one thing, but what if the manticores strike back? Teeth and Pegasus hides do not mix very well, after all! To that end, Lance sought the aid of a Cloudsdale metal-crafter. Her request: a suit of barding, to protect herself and add some challenge to her flying, and a headpiece with a magnificent horn, styled after lances. She drew quite a few stares when she was seen wearing it during her training!

She proceeded to wear the armor longer and longer, keeping it on anywhere she was not asleep, so much so that she didn't even notice her Cutie Mark at first! It weighed her down some, forcing her to develop stronger wings to stay aloft and maneuver. She relished the challenge, her confident smile ever-present where she went. If asked, she confessed to 'feeling naked without it'. However, knowing that all that metal she wore would alienate others despite the magnificent stylings and motifs, she commissioned a secondary set made primarily of leathers, with bits of metal attached...except for the headpiece, which would feature a replica of her mighty lance. In addition, she had images resembling her Cutie Mark printed upon the flank-plates of her barding, so others wouldn't mistake her for a blank-flank. She also commissioned a surcoat, green with white trim and her Cutie Mark embroidered upon it, to wear over her armor.

Lance gained her Cutie Mark through dedication, both to her training, to her studies and to her friends, old and new. She didn't even notice her getting it at first, and how could she? The threat of Manticors is an ever-present threat to her, and, in order to defend those she holds dear, she took to her training and studies. Day after day, she trained her mind and her body, practicing on the dummies, refining her charges, searching for JUST the right point to strike first...honing her skill and never settling for less. The exact moment was during one particular charge...everything went JUST right. The approach, the strike, toppling..it had all gone according to plan. Lance felt proud at mastering her routine, unaware of the Mark as it manifested upon her flanks...but decided soon afterward to further refine her craft. Being able to charge and topple a Manticore is admirable, after all, but Manticors rarely travel solo! Once she did notice, however, she had the symbol emblazoned upon the flanks of her barding, as well as on the surcoat she wears over it. The lance symbolizes her commitment to vanquish threats to her home, and the shield symbolizes her desire to protect those dearest to her. She's extremely proud of having gained her Cutie Mark at her age, and makes sure to live up to what it represents.

In terms of personality, Lance is...well, as direct as her name suggests. She's mostly personable, if headstrong and stubborn, and doesn't back down from a confrontation or a test of skill. She's a bit arrogant and boastful, however: she speaks very highly of herself, and may sometimes call herself an alicorn when boasting until the jig's up. Despite this arrogance, however, she's incredibly driven: once she sets her mind to something, she'll see it through, and there's nothing she won't do to help her friends. In her own words: "I might be late every now and again, but I'll always be there when it matters!"

These days, Lance is still studying and training dilligently, practicing for the day she graduates, or for when the Manticores are bold enough to make their move. She may lag behind occasionally in her studies, but that simply redoubles her efforts to pass, to succeed and to put her talents to good use. When she has a few days of free time, she does return to Fillydelphia to check up on her friends. In addition, while she'll freely deny it up and down, part of her does hope that her parents are proud of her choices in life. Even though she has yet to tell them what all the armor's for, she suspects they know already, and simply await the right time to speak with her about the subject...

[WildGambit]

Now, I'm very new to this, and still learning to review applications, so please bear with me ^_^ I'm just trying to be helpful

Two things I think I should mention, to be helpful, rather than do a full review, firstly, your title needs to be marked [Final] or [WIP] so that people know whether you're ready to start getting comments, or if you're not done writing this yet. You don't need to say Application in it either ^_^

Secondly, you say she is originally from Appeloosa... but in the show, that town is a very new settlement, so if she is at filly age, she can't have come from there, because the town wasn't built yet So I think you may need to pick a different town for her to have that part of her history take place in.

[Raikomaru]

See, this is why I am happy when people tell me things like this.

I'll edit the profile, no problem.

[Raikomaru]

Hokay, that's the post edited.

[Mojo]

Hi Raikomaru!

This is an excellent start to your application! You corrected the things Wild Gambit pointed out, and that's great!

You have all of the required fields filled out properly, but just one minor thing. Could you please expand upon Lance's cutie mark story? A little more detail on how Jade got her cutie mark will give readers an even greater insight into her personality and mindset.

Other than that, this app is very strong!

Well done!

[Raikomaru]

Added more detail on Lance's 'Cutie Mark' section. Also added a snazzy surcoat.

[Mojo]

So I see!

So, you're saying that Jade Lance was so intensely training that she didn't notice getting her cutie mark?

I suppose that's possible, but usually a 'cutie mark' moment is a very special time in a colt or filly's life. It's a 'right of passage' sort of like high school graduation in it's equivilent.

I think it would help this app if you were to narrow down the exact moment Jade got her cutie mark.

[Raikomaru]

Added further info to the desction...and yes, Lance didn't notice at first. THAT's how seriously she takes her training! Also, she...kind of did have the symbol added to her armor and surcoat afterward, to make up for not noticing it first.

[Mojo]

Excellent work!

I will recommend this app to Senior RP Staff to move it along in the approval process!

[Armony]