Earth Pony Professor Ashen Smirk [Final]

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria RP

Name: Professor Ashen “Footnote” Smirk

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion

Species: Earth Pony

Eye Colour: Grey-green

Coat Colour: Bluish grey

Mane/Tail/Markings Colour & Style: Ashen keeps his blond mane pretty short, and fashionably unkempt. His tail is the same colour, and while average length, is kept in a similar condition to his mane.

Physique: Ashen certainly enjoys a good meal, perhaps too much, and as such has a noticeable paunch around the belly. However, he does a fair bit of travelling, preferring to do so on his own four hooves, as it gives him a chance to think and enjoy nature. This has left his limbs pretty well developed, with evident (if not prominent) muscles.

Cutie Mark: A golden apple, not representing his appetite for pomaceous fruit (which is indeed prodigious) but instead appearing as an ancient symbol of knowledge and discovery. This represents his passion for truth and balance, and desire to encourage it in others.

Origin/Residence: Originally hailing from Hoofenheim, Ashen is currently based in Stalliongrad but travels frequently for research purposes.

Occupation: Academic

Motivation: Ashen is never happier than when he is debating with other ponies. The topic seems to matter little to him, as long as those conversing with him are willing to explore it to its fullest extent, and he loves nothing more than to turn a discussion on its head with a carefully chosen point. It is this passion for minutiae that lead him to his academic position, as it gives him unparalleled access to some of the most extensive libraries in Equestria.

Once again though, this is just the outer layer. Ashen’s inner motivations are a bit more complicated, and he no longer fully understands his purpose himself. As a colt, he came across some ancient manuscripts on the nature of chaos and reality. They stated that true chaos was not pure disorder, but rather a mixture of both order and disorder. As the manuscripts put it:

“Order and disorder are artificial concepts; reality is chaotic, and ponies look at it through a window, on which they draw grids (concepts). When a group of ponies with similar grids emerges, it is called a culture. Ponies label the bits that align with their grid ordered, and the bits that don’t are called disordered. Thinking that the order is true, and disorder is false, or somehow wrong, is as meaningless as thinking the opposite. If you change your way of thinking, what was ordered can become disordered. Reality is chaotic; truth (with a small t) and falsehood are subjective, but Truth (capital T) is entirely irrelevant to mental grids.”

This resonated particularly with Ashen, and he devoted himself to studying the ideas contained within the manuscripts, which were written by a group who regarded Discord as an avatar of Chaos, and the rightful ruler of Equestria. Ashen embraced this idea, and the other principles of espoused in the scrolls, believing that Equestrian society placed too much emphasis on order. He made it his mission to impishly encourage and foster disorder, and began to seek out a way to enable Discord’s return.

This was to prove unnecessary, as Discord was released without needing intervention, but Ashen’s jubilation quickly turned to despair. Whether imprisonment had driven him mad, or whether Discord had never truly represented the principles he believed in, Ashen was unsure, but it was clear that the creature unleashed had little in common with the philosophy Ashen had come to hold true. Once the Discord crisis was averted by the avatars of the elements of harmony, Ashen burned his life’s work, a book intended to spread his philosophy to all of Equestria, handed in his notice at the Canterlot faculty, and applied for a fellowship at the University of Stalliongrad. He felt that the cold weather and dour atmosphere fitted his mood.

Now, while he has regained some confidence in his original beliefs, Ashen is still trying to come to terms with the change in perspective brought by the crisis. He has resumed his subtle activities promoting disorder, but even he isn’t sure if he does this out of the genuine conviction and playfulness he felt before, or out of malice toward the society which bettered his fallen “avatar”.

Likes: Apples, his pipe, debating, walking, history, hot dog buns

Dislikes: Ponies “lacking in intellectual curiosity”, authority, manual labour

Virtues: Dedicated to truth, open minded, patient, enthusiastic

Flaws: Compulsive liar, overly proud of his intellect, can be very patronising to those he considers his intellectual inferiors, can seem hot-headed when involved in a discussion

Character Summary: Upon first meeting Ashen Smirk, the first thing most ponies notice is his constant grin. While this, coupled with his apparent light-hearted nature, generally make him pleasant company, ponies spending a long time in his presence generally start to feel mildly unsettled, perhaps due to the way it doesn’t quite extend to his eyes. It is his smile, along with his grey coat, which gave him his name. His parents claim that he was born grinning.

He did not have a particularly happy childhood, his parents were both practical Hoofenheim Earth Ponies, and his carefree approach was the cause of much friction between them. While he saw hours researching Equestria’s history and debating points of philosophy as time well spent, they thought of it as pointless daydreaming. This all came to a head one day, when they told the young colt that his flank would be bare for the rest of his life, and that he would never amount to anything. The ensuing blazing row ended when Ashen told them that they were “dumb animals, barely fit to pull a plough”, stormed off and boarded a train to Canterlot, the smile gone from his face. It would not return for many years.

Having nowhere to stay in Canterlot, he sought refuge in the environment he felt most at home; the library. He hid himself away deep in the archives, where even the librarians rarely ventured, and immersed himself in the ancient dusty tomes. As he read, he realised that many of the documents he was reading predated the founding of Canterlot, containing historical information that had been completely forgotten by most ponies. Completely absorbed in this research, he failed to realise that he’d been discovered until he was physically hauled away by Canterlot guards, and it was only when they dictated his description to a clerk that he realised he had gained his cutie mark; a symbol of a lost culture he had rediscovered, representing truth and discovery.

That was at least the explanation he gave to any pony curious enough to ask; he suspected that other ponies would not easily accept or understand the principles of the ancient philosophy he had come to embrace, so chose to keep it secret until he was sure he could adequately convey it's meaning to Equestria at large. This was the first time he actively lied about himself or his studies, but it quickly became a habit.

While staying at a hostel for troubled colts, he wrote up all he could remember from his studies of the ancient documents (but only the ones with nothing to do with Discord), and this caught the eye of the social worker assigned to his case, who sent it off to the historical department of Canterlot University. The essays he put together were regarded as impressive for a colt of his age, and they agreed that, when he was old enough, Ashen would be granted a scholarship.

While he was not the most intelligent pony on his course, Ashen was by far the most articulate and passionate, and this made him stand out amongst his peers. However, there was another factor which made him infamous, his fiery temper led to many arguments, both with fellow students and members of the faculty, and often on seemingly trivial topics. He was nearly kicked out on more than one occasion, but each time his excellent grades convinced the disciplinary board to let him stay. After all, he’d graduate eventually, and then he’d be some other pony’s problem.

Graduate he did, setting a new record for high marks in the process, but to the horror of the disciplinary board, he immediately re-enrolled on a post-grad philosophy course, funding his continued studies by publishing his historical research. To their relief, he spent his time as a postgraduate working in his apartment and in close discussion with his tutors, who by this point had grown used to his fiery temprement.

There were no objections when Ashens applied for a post on the faculty, but he proved to be a highly atypical professor. He despised the act of giving lectures, preferring to talk one-on-one with his brightest pupils. When he did give lectures, they were unusual to say the least, mainly consisting of diatribes directed towards any unfortunate student who didn’t meet his standards (and the occasional fellow lecturer). He became infamous in academic circles for his blazing rows with department heads over the best way of teaching. Eventually, the educational establishment decided that the best policy was an unofficial mutual non-interference pact. His position of lecturer became a strictly symbolic one; as long as he kept churning out papers and tutoring the occasional student who caught his eye, he was free to do as he pleased.

Then came the incident with Discord. His colleagues speculate that seeing first-hand the chaos caused by a lack of harmony shook him up, but whatever the reason, in the aftermath his personality seemed to change overnight. Where once he was short-tempered, he gained great reserves of patience. He no longer seemed angry with the world, and the formerly ever-present ear-to-ear grin became a permanent feature once more. All agreed that he looked like he was more content than he had ever been before.

In fact, his years of studying and his tenure at Canterlot University had been the happiest of his life, and he viewed his infamous quarrels as some of the most intense, truthful and refreshing discussions he’d ever had. Now his philosophy was in tatters, and he had personally destroyed all copies of the book he’d spent most of his life on. The uncertainty brought by Discord’s return had robbed him of his confidence, and made him fear people’s reaction to his beliefs. As a consequence, he decided to restrain himself, simply grinning wider when before he would have launched into passionate oratory.

None of them really understood his decision to leave Canterlot for a position at Stalliongrad, but he was adamant. He had discovered all he could from the Canterlot records, and was sure that yet undisturbed information from the early years of Equestria would be found in the archives of the University on the bank of the Stadia.

Edited September 3, 2012 by BrainedBySaucepans

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Out of interest, what's the average time it takes for an application to be approved?¹

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¹ Please don't think I'm being impatient. I understand that I've written a lot of stuff for this, and I'm prepared to wait longer as a result.² I ask merely out of idle curiosity.

² Plus, I'm not sure what the reaction will be to my spoiler tagging of such a significant amount of detail. I didn't see any other applications done like this, but I love RPing characters with hidden motivations and depth, and this seemed the best way to do it in a forum RP.

[Tenkan]

Wow. Now that's a character! Too bad about what happened after Discord's attack, though...I'm quite curious as to what changed him and why?

What does that grin mean, I wonder?

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Thanks! I'm really looking forward to RPing as him; there's so many different directions I could take him!¹

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¹ My plan is to play it by ear and see what seems the most realistic reaction to other characters' interactions with him, however that turns out.

[Chocoswirl]

Out of interest, what's the average time it takes for an application to be approved?

It really depends on how busy the RP helpers are. It could take a little while, or you could get a review within a few days. Most apps usually take a week or two. Some have been up for numerous months, but that's because there were some problems that took a while to fix. If the apps start to pile up, they get really busy to at least get stamps or questions posted on them..

[BrainedBySaucepans]

It really depends on how busy the RP helpers are. It could take a little while, or you could get a review within a few days. Most apps usually take a week or two. Some have been up for numerous months, but that's because there were some problems that took a while to fix. If the apps start to pile up, they get really busy to at least get stamps or questions posted on them..

Thanks for the info. I suppose the best thing to do is just to sit and wait for the helpers to get round to me.¹

If and when I am assigned a helper, I'd appreciate it if they me know, even if it's just to say I'm in a queue an will have to wait a bit longer.² If you want to save some time and discuss it with me directly, feel free to do so on Skype.³

Thanks

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¹ That's never been my style though, so my plan is to get as much feedback as possible from people, so that hopefully, by the time a helper does get to me, any issues will have been dealt with. Since it'd be rather hypocritical to expect people to do this for me while offering nothing in return, I've already offered what input I feel qualified to give on several other people's applications. Hopefully karma will even it all out.

² Otherwise I'll just start worrying that my application has been missed completely, and start making panicky and vaguely passive-aggressive posts like this one...

³ My username is on my profile.

[Mojo]

Hi BrainedbySaucepans!

Seriously, I thought this app was previously claimed by a RP Helper or otherwise I would've worked on it sooner. We've had a new new appilcation processing system put in place here and as with most 'new' procedures, it's been a time consuming transition. Apologies for that.

Back to your app. As a RPer with a Professor character, I can fully understand where you're coming from on this guy. Though he seemed a bit excentric (before his 'change of heart') this is typical of those in the higher ranks of acadamia. If I am understanding this correctly, Ashen didn't get his cutie mark until his older childhood years? I can't picture him as a colt AppleBloom's age doing such high level research.

The "Unicorn masquarading as an Earth Pony" thing is fine with me, but I really don't think it'll hold up with the next level of application analysis. The old "this has never happened in the cartoon" concept might be cited here. Honestly, I think this character would work great as a unicorn. Why hide your horn in the first place?

The Professor's a very complex character, but most professors I have encountered in life are too. Overall, I think this is a very well written app (though some who read it may find all the footnotes very off-putting, I like them myself). It just needs a bit more tweaking.

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Hi Mojo, don't worry about the delay, these things happen. I'm more than familiar with the perils of switching to a new procedure, even when the new way is genuinely superior.

On to the points you raise, lets start with the cutie mark. It's my understanding that the colt/filly stage is roughly analogous to a human's teenage years, and it says in the guidelines that the latest a pony gets their cutie mark is by the end of this stage. As I understand it, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are pretty near the beginning of this stage in the show (this is just my head-canon though, so please let me know if the established RP canon, or indeed the show itself, contradicts this).

With this in mind, I picture Ashen getting his cutie mark at the equivalent of around 15 years old; still by no means an adult, but mentally well developed enough that an interest in reading ancient books and scrolls is plausible (if stretching things a bit) This would make him a very late bloomer in that respect, but not outside the limits laid out in the guidelines. In my mind, there is still a bit of a gap between his earning of his Cutie Mark and heading off to study at Canterlot University, but I'm not sure this comes across in the narrative I've got written down. Do you think I need to make this clearer, or am I completely missing your point?

To be honest, making Ashen a Unicorn was more a way to underline the deceptive and secretive nature of his character than it was for any other purpose. I see him as very weak magically, his only talent being deception and misdirection, but this is not an essential part of his character. As such, I think it would probably be better to completely cut out his Unicorn aspect, rather than tweaking it to remove his ability to hide his nature. At the end of the day, I'd prefer to keep that aspect as it is, but if it has to go, I don't really think it would effect the core of his character.

I have been asked to stop using footnotes, as people have found them irritating in my other posts, and I intend to do so. In this application though, I can't really see how to restructure it to eliminate them without completely removing the spoiler tags. Should I leave as is, or work towards some sort of compromise?

Thanks again for the feedback, and please let me know if any other tweaks are needed.

[Mojo]

Like I said before, Brained, I like this app and the concept of the Professor's unusual behavior. If you want to leave the 'hidden horn' deal in, I'm fine with it. Can't promise you what Senior RP staff will say, though.

Very well, I will recommend this app to Senior RP staff to further it along in the application process!

:D :D

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Thanks Mojo, I appreciate the advice, and have prepared my contingency plans.

[RarityDash]

Hello there.

I've given this app a look, as have some of my fellow Senior RP Helpers, and while we see a lot to like in the app, we decided we can't quite approve it just yet. There are some areas that need to be addressed:

First is the formatting. Your use of annotations here makes the app difficult to read and assess. I do understand what you're going for here with the information hiding; that said, ideally, in an RP, the player will look at your character's app to understand your character and who he is, but will still play his own character as if s/he doesn't know any of it at the start. What the characters learn depends more on what happens in the RP itself than what's written in the apps. Considering most who do look at the app will be doing so with the intent to understand the character, it becomes somewhat redundant to section off spoilers. I would suggest editing the format to reduce/eliminate the need for the spoiler section.

Moving on to content, there is this horn matter. I was more lenient than some who glanced at the app on this idea; I personally think a unicorn might be able to hide his horn or at least make it appear not visible if he was particularly skilled at illusionary magic. What I'm less sure about is if he could keep it up long term. It's clear that unicorns are exerting themselves when they cast magic. To keep his horn continually hidden, Ashen would have to continually be using magic, which I'm just not sure is feasible, especially when you describe him as not being very strong magically. As a result, I don't think what is described in the app is going to be viable.

What is in my view the biggest problem here, however, is that Discordianism is a real world religion. As such, we're really not prepared to allow it into our World of Equestria. Doing so opens up doors we would rather avoid opening. This includes using symbols associated with the religion, and other direct references to it. Even if there were no real world Discordianism and you were just intending to have him as a part of a religion built around Discord, that might be the kind of thing we'd be skeptical to include in an app as it approaches the sort of thing you'd need separate lore approved for. This is not to say his personal outlook and philosophy can't be in line with the tenets of Discordianism, but calling it that and using a symbol associated with the real religion as a cutie mark is not something we're prepared to allow.

[Rosewind]

I agree with everything that Phil presented to you about your application. I see you have a strong creative spark, and a passion to produce really good, entertaining writing. I think you just have to channel that ability in a way (and place) in which it will be most appreciated. Mane RP is designed to be a facsimile to Friendship is Magic, the cartoon. We are strict about allowing certain content to keep the environment robust and true to the character that makes the show so special. When designing a character for it, it's helpful to keep in mind that if it would never pass approval for an appearance on the cartoon, it won't be approved, here, for the roleplay.

I recommend you make the necessary corrections that Phil suggested, with respect to the canon of the series, the RP environment, and the other players in the game. Thanks!

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Hello there.

I've given this app a look, as have some of my fellow Senior RP Helpers, and while we see a lot to like in the app, we decided we can't quite approve it just yet. There are some areas that need to be addressed:

First is the formatting. Your use of annotations here makes the app difficult to read and assess. I do understand what you're going for here with the information hiding; that said, ideally, in an RP, the player will look at your character's app to understand your character and who he is, but will still play his own character as if s/he doesn't know any of it at the start. What the characters learn depends more on what happens in the RP itself than what's written in the apps. Considering most who do look at the app will be doing so with the intent to understand the character, it becomes somewhat redundant to section off spoilers. I would suggest editing the format to reduce/eliminate the need for the spoiler section.

Moving on to content, there is this horn matter. I was more lenient than some who glanced at the app on this idea; I personally think a unicorn might be able to hide his horn or at least make it appear not visible if he was particularly skilled at illusionary magic. What I'm less sure about is if he could keep it up long term. It's clear that unicorns are exerting themselves when they cast magic. To keep his horn continually hidden, Ashen would have to continually be using magic, which I'm just not sure is feasible, especially when you describe him as not being very strong magically. As a result, I don't think what is described in the app is going to be viable.

What is in my view the biggest problem here, however, is that Discordianism is a real world religion. As such, we're really not prepared to allow it into our World of Equestria. Doing so opens up doors we would rather avoid opening. This includes using symbols associated with the religion, and other direct references to it. Even if there were no real world Discordianism and you were just intending to have him as a part of a religion built around Discord, that might be the kind of thing we'd be skeptical to include in an app as it approaches the sort of thing you'd need separate lore approved for. This is not to say his personal outlook and philosophy can't be in line with the tenets of Discordianism, but calling it that and using a symbol associated with the real religion as a cutie mark is not something we're prepared to allow.

Got it. Thanks for the feedback Phil, I have a couple of minor questions, but I can't see any problems with changing what's been asked.

First off, I understand the footnotes have to go, but should I use some other way to indicate what is kept secret and what isn't? Should I just shove a spoiler tag at the end of each section that needs one, or just lose the spoiler tags completely? Or do something completely different?

As I said to Mojo, I didn't really have Ashen being a Unicorn as a central part of his identitiy, it really was more to underline his deceptive nature, so I have no problems with it going completely.

On to the point on Discordianism; my initial reaction to this was that Discordianism isn't really a religion, it's more of a personal philosophy wrapped up in a surreal joke. However, I feel this would be missing your point completely, and a moment's thought made me realise several extremely valid reasons why you wouldn't want anything approaching a real world religion to appear in the Mane RP. It really should have occurred to me earlier as it seems like common sense (proving how uncommon that can be). Do you think it would be sufficient for me to remove all of the explicit references to Discordianism, or will I have to change some of his beliefs as well? Choosing a new cutie mark is going to be hard...

I expect it will take me a couple of days to get the various changes written up, but be aware that my inbuilt laziness and resistance to change will probably mean that the bare minimum will actually get changed. As such, if there's anything else about the character as he stands now that needs changing?

I agree with everything that Phil presented to you about your application. I see you have a strong creative spark, and a passion to produce really good, entertaining writing. I think you just have to channel that ability in a way (and place) in which it will be most appreciated. Mane RP is designed to be a facsimile to Friendship is Magic, the cartoon. We are strict about allowing certain content to keep the environment robust and true to the character that makes the show so special. When designing a character for it, it's helpful to keep in mind that if it would never pass approval for an appearance on the cartoon, it won't be approved, here, for the roleplay.

I recommend you make the necessary corrections that Phil suggested, with respect to the canon of the series, the RP environment, and the other players in the game. Thanks!

It probably shouldn't, but this comment has set off my paranoid streak. Intellectually, I know it's just a helpful friendly comment, clarifying some of the criteria used to judge applications, and also throwing in a compliment on my writing style (my paranoid side is rebuking me for even regarding it as a compliment, pointing out that there's a large difference between passion and ability). My instincts, however, are currently screaming that the fact you felt it necessary to make such a comment indicates that I am now regarded as a troublemaker who is unlikely to listen to reason unless outnumbered... That really has nothing to do with anything though, just some unsolicited insight into the way my mind works.

[Rosewind]

Got it. Thanks for the feedback Phil, I have a couple of minor questions, but I can't see any problems with changing what's been asked.

First off, I understand the footnotes have to go, but should I use some other way to indicate what is kept secret and what isn't? Should I just shove a spoiler tag at the end of each section that needs one, or just lose the spoiler tags completely? Or do something completely different?

As I said to Mojo, I didn't really have Ashen being a Unicorn as a central part of his identitiy, it really was more to underline his deceptive nature, so I have no problems with it going completely.

On to the point on Discordianism; my initial reaction to this was that Discordianism isn't really a religion, it's more of a personal philosophy wrapped up in a surreal joke. However, I feel this would be missing your point completely, and a moment's thought made me realise several extremely valid reasons why you wouldn't want anything approaching a real world religion to appear in the Mane RP. It really should have occurred to me earlier as it seems like common sense (proving how uncommon that can be). Do you think it would be sufficient for me to remove all of the explicit references to Discordianism, or will I have to change some of his beliefs as well? Choosing a new cutie mark is going to be hard...

I expect it will take me a couple of days to get the various changes written up, but be aware that my inbuilt laziness and resistance to change will probably mean that the bare minimum will actually get changed. As such, if there's anything else about the character as he stands now that needs changing?

It probably shouldn't, but this comment has set off my paranoid streak. Intellectually, I know it's just a helpful friendly comment, clarifying some of the criteria used to judge applications, and also throwing in a compliment on my writing style (my paranoid side is rebuking me for even regarding it as a compliment, pointing out that there's a large difference between passion and ability). My instincts, however, are currently screaming that the fact you felt it necessary to make such a comment indicates that I am now regarded as a troublemaker who is unlikely to listen to reason unless outnumbered... That really has nothing to do with anything though, just some unsolicited insight into the way my mind works.

In regards to what Phil said about your horn, I don't see any problem with this character hiding his horn with a hat, hood, or other physical method of covering it up. I think that would make for more interest than just using magic to hide that this character is a unicorn. We like to compromise where it makes sense, not deny.

I would remove the spoiler tags and find another method to present information about your character. The idea is to provide a resource with which other players may easily learn more about the character they are playing with, as well as where you stand with your roleplaying ability. Reserve any important spoilers about your character for the actual roleplay -- as long as they are made with respect to the roleplay environment, of course. Most of the information in the spoiler area isn't conducive for a FiM canon-strict environment. Do not confuse this with providing important facts on your application, however. You can tell us plenty of back story about your character, but the idea is to make new and interesting stories about your character with other players too, right?

As for my comment, I was replying simply to offer you tools and insight on how you may better construct your application. We don't "outnumber" other players to make a point, as Phil is quite capable of handling any application we throw at him on his own. We are a team dedicated to helping other players, and it would be remiss to assume we would behave that way to get our point across. Please put your paranoia to bed on that one.

I'm sure Phil may have more input for you. Remember this exercise should be a fun and collaborative one, so keep that in mind while we help you get this character ready for play.

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Thanks for the feedback Rosewind; taking on board what you've said, I may end up removing pretty much everything in the spoiler tags, relegating that to my personal head-canon. I was tempted when first writing this to do as you suggest, leaving it out completely and working it into my character as I progressed in the RP. The reason I decided against this was twofold: first, I personally find I have the most fun (and create the most interesting characters) when I have a strong grasp of my OC's back-story, and second, I was unsure whether any details I might introduce later would fit in the RP. It's clear from a glance that all the helpers here do an incredible job, working really hard to keep the tone and feel of the RP consistent with the show, and as someone who has more interest in the fandom than the show itself I didn't think I was the best person to judge if my ideas were suitable. Better to bring these points up now than end up despnately PMing one of you to find out if I could include such-and-such detail in an ongoing RP, or indeed just putting it in without thinking.

With this in mind, I'm going to work hard on trying to bring the currently spoilered stuff into line with the canon. I'll be stripping out any and all references to Discordianism and POEE, replacing them with a much more generalised philosophy. I still want to have him initially believing that Discord was a force for good, as well as his disillusionment after seeing Discord in action, as I think I can make those work (plus they're pretty much the core of the character). With this in mind, should I switch the application status back to WiP while I do this? It should only take me a day or two. I also understand that this may be creating extra work for you and Phil, and am perfectly happy if you tell me no, or put me at a lower priority so you can deal with more straightforward applications first.

I'd also appreciate a clarification: Phil stated that the main problem with my background was the explicit reference to a real world religion (however frivolous the religion in question), as well as having a religion centered on Discord, but Rosewind stated: "Most of the information in the spoiler area isn't conducive for a FiM canon-strict environment." Are there other parts that need to be changed? If so, please let me know; I'd rather do my rewrites all in one go, since I find going back and editing something repeatedly can make it incomprehensible.

Thanks for your suggestions on how to keep Ashen a Unicorn, but in this case it seems that it makes more sense to deny than compromise, so I'll switch to Earth Pony. I generally prefer to play a non-magical character when trying out a new RP anyway, since every RP's magic system is different, and I prefer to get to grips with characterisation straight off the bat. If I do decide to create a magic-using character here, it'll probably after I've been around for a while and had a chance to see how other RPers use the system.

One last thing; my comment about Rosewind's previous post was intended as a light-hearted dig at myself and my own neuroses (especially my tendency to automatically assume that I've done something wrong or annoyed someone), sorry if any offence was caused. I genuinely appreciate the help from both of you and didn't mean to imply otherwise. The more I participate in forums, the more I learn that my sense of humour doesn't translate very well into a purely text-based medium (hence my extensive use of emoticons and footnotes; I try to provide as much emotional context as possible).

[RarityDash]

Heh. Well, we were looking at your app, we did kind of joke that if all the stuff in the spoiler section was removed, aside from the cutie mark, the character would probably pass. Of course, leaving relevant details for your personal head-cannon is not the way to ever go, especially if you plan to ever reveal said details in the RP (and especially if one of those hidden details is his species). At this point, finding a way to incorporate it into the rest of the app is probably the way to go.

As for what needs to be changed in the spoiler section, it's pretty much the Discordianism and unicorn stuff already mentioned. it's just that that stuff does make up "most" of that section. As for my point, just to clarify, it was less about having a religion centered around Discord and more about the idea of inventing a religion within our RP universe through an app period.

Anyway, good luck fixing the issues with the app! I hope that we can approve it soon.

[Rosewind]

Keep in mind that once you have a Mane RP approved character, you'll be moved to the Roleplayers group and you will be given permissions to post in Crossovers. In Crossovers, you could explore this character as your complete, unedited vision -- Discordianism, invisi-horns, and all! Once you make the necessary updates, simply reply to this thread letting us know and we'll have another review.

[Armony]

How is this application coming along?

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Having some personal issues and computer trouble, so I've put this on the back burner. I expect I'll have my issues sorted out by Sunday, at which point I'll resume work on this. My apologies for any inconvenience.

[Rosewind]

Any progress so far?

[BrainedBySaucepans]

None; I probably should have specified which Sunday I meant.... should be back to work on it in a day or two.

[BrainedBySaucepans]

So, I've made the changes suggested, and have updated the original post. I'm still yet to redo the artwork to reflect the change in cutie mark, but that can come later.

Major Changes:

1. Completely stripped out all the footnotes, inserting them into the main text. Unfortunately this makes it rather lengthy, but I’ve always been terrible when it comes to pruning my own work. If necessary, I suspect I can cut it down a lot, but I wouldn’t enjoy it…

2. Changed cutie mark from the sacred chao to a more generic golden apple.

3. Removed all explicit references to Discordianism and the POEE. I have kept his personal philosophy pretty much intact, but would be willing to alter it if necessary; the feedback I was given indicated (to me at least) that the problem was not so much with his beliefs, but with the referencing of a real-world religion.

4. Altered backstory to clarify the age at which Ashen gained his cutie mark.

Hopefully this covers the points already raised. If not, or if there's other changes you'd like me to make, please let me know. Thanks to everyone for the help so far, I hope that we can continue to work together to put together a character that fits in with the spirit of the Mane RP.

[RarityDash]

It's a lot better, and very close to where I would feel comfortable giving you a stamp, however I do still see a problem.

We do not like people creating new lore in applications. Referencing Discord is fine, since even though he's a cast character, he's clearly an important and historically relevant figure in Equestria. Even the idea of individuals in the past who were reverent of Discord I personally think is fine. This apple story strikes me as problematic though. Even if it's taken as a simple fable that didn't actually happen rather than history, forcing this symbol that is seen nowhere in canon in association with him upon Discord, a canon character, is not something we'd be prepared to allow. This is probably going to have to changed or removed before we can approve the app.

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Understood, in that case I could use some advice on what might make a suitable alternative, unless I could just use the golden apple as a generic symbol of knowledge? I'd really like a symbol that subtly hints at his beliefs, but couldn't find anything else that worked...

[RarityDash]

A golden apple on its own is perfectly fine, you just can't say it's a symbol tied to Discord.