Mistfire Posted October 7, 2012 Report Share Posted October 7, 2012 Alright alright before i start here, i am aware an app has been made a long time ago, so now that i have an idea of how the RP works, im gonna remake Shade's app not only to be able to use my favorite original character, but to slightly help out another app i have in the works that needs an OK on Shade's Mane RP app. Here we goRoleplay Type: Equestria Mane RPName:ShadeSex:MaleAge:Mid-Age ColtSpecies: Earth PonyEye colour:Dark PurpleCoat colour:Dark GreenMane/Tail/Markings colour & Style:Mane and tail both punk style and black with red outlinesPhysique:Fairly Skinny, TallCutie Mark:Notebook with a warm glow around itOrigin/Residence:Stalliongrad was his original home, but he later went alone to live in Trottingham since it looks like a comftorable town to him. He resides with two roommatesOccupation: Student, but he does chores now and then for other ponies as income. He also sells some medicinal plants now and then for extra money since he studies botany.Motivation: He wants a better future, not having to live in a small cabin like his parents. What he wants is a basic life, nothing special.Character Summary:History – He was born in a small, secluded cabin in Stalliongrad, where he lived a rather humble yet poor life. He was told himself that things would get better, so he was always stubborn. His parents wanted the best for him, but in the state he was in terms of living, he couldn't do much. He chose to leave his home promising his parents in a conversation that he would find a better life in Trottingham for its basic, yet organized way of living and job opportunities. He hitched rides now and then, and walked the occasional few miles. After a week and three days, he arrived in Trottingham where he was welcomed by a Pegasus and became his roommate. Today he currently studies botany and science, and he enjoys reading up on plants he finds in the woods near his home and sells them for extra money,Parents – He shares a strong connection with his parents, despite leaving them many miles behind. He tells them about his studies and plans on bringing them over to live with him once he gets a home. His parents believe in him and hope for the bestCutie Mark Story – He gained his cutie mark after studying hard for a science test, all he was focusing on was passing the test and making his parents proud. The notebook shows how he studies hard in school and the glow represents his warm feelings for his family, and together it means he studies hard for his familyFlaws – He lectures and motivates himself too much, so he sometimes argues with himself too. Due to being such a serious bookworm too, he has a tired look on his face, as if he were about to dose off. And like any Colt, he's a bit awkward around fillies.Personality - He tends to be sarcastic sometimes, but he has a strong willed personality. He has a lot of passion for life, seeing that he sort of promised his parents that he'll make the most out of it. He lets ponies earn his trust before really talking to them, but he is positive in what he's doing. He has a short fuse too depending on the situation, for example, he tells his roommate Yuki to go get something from the room across the hall and comes back with something completely different, that sets him off.I apologize IMMENSELY if the app is too short, and if you wish that i extend this a bit more, tell me what needs to be stretched. I'd rather know form an early point of view instead of the last second . Also, many distinct suggestions may come to me, so things might be tossed around a lot. I ask that you PLEASE make sure that what you are about to request improves the app without majorly interfering with other suggestions... Its kinda like what happened with my other app that is still in the works due to some confusion i had... Anyways, PLEASE give me an opinion here! Thanks!-Mist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted October 14, 2012 Report Share Posted October 14, 2012 Please change this application type to WIP, as you already have a Final application that needs completion/review. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lux Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Hello!How's the app coming? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistfire Posted October 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Good, think, Its just on standby since another is in progress Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lux Posted October 30, 2012 Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 How's the app coming? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistfire Posted October 31, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Other app isn't ready, so this is still 'in the works". I'm done, I just need the other app to get the green light Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lux Posted November 3, 2012 Report Share Posted November 3, 2012 How's the app coming? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistfire Posted November 4, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 good, i think its done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistfire Posted November 4, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 actually, i don't want the other app to go through, i want this one to go through Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 If you'd like, you can change the tags on both applications. Make your other one [WIP] and tag this one as [Ready]. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistfire Posted November 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 Actually the other one is already in process, so now its just this one, will do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lux Posted November 15, 2012 Report Share Posted November 15, 2012 Hello. After looking at your character, I think you need to add more about the character's history. What was he like as a foal? Who were his parents and how did they treat him? How did he decide on going to Trottingham? What does he like to do?Also, his cutie mark you said was to be invisible from other ponies. Perhaps you should redo that to something where he has an ability to attract others through hie elloquent speaking. The reason I say this is it's hard to RP a pony who wants to be invisible to others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistfire Posted November 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2012 ..oh it says he's invisible? I thought it meant he was independent... um ok ill see what i can do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lux Posted November 16, 2012 Report Share Posted November 16, 2012 Ah ok. That's what I meant by being invisible to others, but thanks for clarifying that! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lux Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Hello again.After further review, I think you need to add more on your character's history. First, what is his interests? I know you mentioned that he likes to study, but what subjects? Does he have any other things he likes to do? You mention that his parents are supportive, but what made his fillyhood miserable?Also you need to change your cutie mark story. Finding one's mark is like a path of self discovery, so you need to add that moment where Shade realizes that this is his destined gift.You're almost there, just a few things to clarify. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lux Posted November 22, 2012 Report Share Posted November 22, 2012 How's the app coming? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistfire Posted November 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2012 I think *hope* its good. Maybe now it can work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted November 23, 2012 Report Share Posted November 23, 2012 Hi! I notice Duskus is still tagged as [Ready]. Could you please pick which character needs review and tag the other as WIP? Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lux Posted November 27, 2012 Report Share Posted November 27, 2012 Hello.Please respond to which pony you choose to go through within five days or this app will be locked.Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistfire Posted November 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 Oh i put this one as ready and duskus as WIP, sorry i didn't notify you guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lux Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 I noticed one thing upon rereading this. You have a pony named Sleet "Yuki" Glaze. Is this another character of yours? My only concern is we typically do not allow associations with other characters unless you created them or you got permission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistfire Posted December 8, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 8, 2012 Oh yeah Yuki got approved really quick. He's fine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lux Posted December 8, 2012 Report Share Posted December 8, 2012 Ok then. Just checking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted December 20, 2012 Report Share Posted December 20, 2012 Hi! I'm going to be right to the point with this application.1. The overly dark tone needs to be lightened up. Think: happy ponies!2. More detail with personality and more about the character. I see lots of stuff about his dark history and place in life, but nothing fundamentally about the character.Remember to design him like he would appear in a real, live episode of Friendship is Magic, and you will have a better idea of how to design this character. Alternatively, tag this for Crossovers and I will stamp it right now.Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistfire Posted December 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2012 oh, well idk what exactly shows that its too dark... could you point them out for me? I thought it displayed him as a hard-working studious pony, and he's happy with Duskus and Yuki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts