Pegasus Straight Lace Mk. 0.1 [Ready for Review]

[Raikomaru]

As an aside: the images included was made using the Pony Editor.

Roleplay Type: Crossover RP

Name: Straight Lace

Sex: Female

Age: Filly, though closer to Mare then most.

Species: Pegasus

Eye colour: Dark teal

Coat: Pale blue. Wears silver bracers on all four of her upper and lower legs, as well as silver accessories on her wings.

Mane/Tail: Dark brown, but dyes it black-and-white. Mane is long and flowing, whereas her tail is usually styled into a peculiar 'blade' shape. If not styled, it matches her mane in style.

Physique: Straight Lace has a fairly unremarkable physique, although she is rather toned. She also has rather wide hips and thick thighs.

Residence: Thanks to her current situation, Straight Lace has no real place of residence, roaming Equestria, although she's been given shelter by a friendly Canterlot family.

Occupation: While Straight Lace will state that she's an adventurer to all who will listen, she's little more then a wanderer at present.

Cutie Mark: Straight Lace has not yet earned her Cutie Mark.

Motivation: Straight Lace is driven by her quest to earn her Cutie Mark through ridding Equestria of the nasty things lurking in its darker, less-explored regions.

Likes: Straight Lace honestly enjoys what she does. Delving dungeons, doing battle with shadowy things...it makes her feel alive, and gives her a rush few things can compare to. Beyond that, she definately appreciates simply being able to talk to other ponies.

Dislikes: A quick way to earn Straight Lace's enmity is bring up her lack of a Cutie Mark. She's highly sensitive about that.

Character Summary: Straight Lace was born to a somewhat unremarkable Pegasus family in Trottingham. She started her life as an unremarkable Pegasus as well, growing up, making friends and generally having fun like all ponies do.

That all changed when her friends started to acquire Cutie Marks, whereas her flanks remained blank. Awe and sincere praise gave way to frustration and jealousy over time. She was eventually the only one among her group who lacked a Cutie Mark, and it was driving her mad. Wanting to know what was going on, she hit the books in addition to her studies...and found nothing that could help her.

Unable to face her parents or her friends without a Cutie Mark, she left home after her studies, leaving behind but a letter stating that she was going to travel Equestria in search of her calling, of the truth behind her still-blank flanks, and that she wouldn't come back until she had accomplished this goal. Along the way, figuring she might run into things less friendly to ponies, she started training to defend herself, fashioning a branch she found one day into a staff, and wielding it in her mouth.

Over time, she learned that Equestria wasn't all sunshine and happiness: there were dark places, and nasty things hid there to cause mayhem. This would not stand. Figuring she had found her calling, Straight Lace turned her attention to these 'dungeons', as she calls them. Still bearing that same staff sheathed at her right shoulder, she travels wherever she can and explores these darker places, taking the mayhem to those who would cause it, and has been relatively successful. During her adventures, a family living in Canterlot has taken her in until the time she finishes her quest.

Those who knew Straight Lace when she was younger would explain her as someone fundamentally driven by a quest for attention. She wants to gain the respect of her peers and elders, to be looked upon favorably and spoken about. She wants to make her parents proud. They would also tell you she dyes her mane and her tail, and styles the latter into its distinctive blade shape to make her stand out further. They would further describe her as someone whose lack of a Cutie Mark is a continual source of embarrasment and disgrace, its absence and the implications thereof making her feel like less of a proper Pegasus.

Those who know her now would paint her as a taker of risks. She's been described as almost completely fearless, with a noble heart, a serious face and plenty of skill with the Mouthstaff. She's the sort of pony one can depend on, the sort that'll strive to help anyone who might need it, and the sort who always has a story about a dungeon-delve to share with those who want to hear, so long as one does not bring up her lack of a Cutie Mark. She also does not talk about the life she left behind, and does not know what her old friends or even her parents are doing now...

Most of her serious persona, however, is an act. True, she loves what she does, and takes her job very seriously, but she reserves the truth for those she's sufficiently close to. Under that confident smile and the risk-taking, she really just wants to be able to go home and show off her Cutie Mark. She's not as fearless as she makes herself seem, either: she's certainly scared of all those shadowy things she meets and does battle with, especially the bigger ones, but does what she can to avoid showing it. She acts the way she does because she wants to be taken seriously, believing that building up a good reputation among others will help her acquire her Cutie Mark faster.

[QuickLime]

Hey there! First off I just want to say that your character seems REALLY interesting! I see a few things however that you need to work on

1: We can't really have a tiny Filly roaming Equestria fighting baddins hidden in the shadow, perhaps you could say she's living with some different family to try and learn her talent elsewhere?

2: Also weapons really arn't allowed, since we don't really encourage the killing and slaying of other creatures, it doesn't happen in the show, so it can't really happen here.

3: Your post actually makes it sound like she isn't a filly at all but practically a grown mare, so you might want to work on trying to make her sound more like a little filly?

4:I noticed in "Mane/Tail" you forgot to actually mention what her tail and mane look like! It's true you have a picture but roleplaying is a written medium so you shouldn't be afraid to describe her in vivid detail in the app!

Other than that it's a GREAT start and I can't wait to see this app tweaked enough to fit Mane Rp

[Raikomaru]

Made some edits.

1: Adressed. She has a Canterlot family looking out for her safety while she's there.

2: Adressed. The staff stays, so there's no hacking and/or slashing.

3: Adressed. Straight Lace's tough, serious personality is...primarily an act. Hence the diffrence in expression between the two images, too.

4: Adressed.

If anything else is brought up, I'll deal with that too.

[QuickLime]

You are still reffering to it as a job and having her doing something a FILLY in MLP wouldn't do that's going to have to change....a filly is still in school after all.

[QuickLime]

And really the idea of her just leaving her entire friends and family behind as a filly (around the age of the CMC) is really not something that will be accepted in Mane Rp..

If you wish to keep that aspect of her then maybe you should consider making this app a cross over? then you could do whatever you'd like

[Raikomaru]

Edit made. Now listed as Crossover.

...also, why the two back-to-back posts, if I may ask?

[QuickLime]

It was just an accident really, anyways good luck!

[Rosewind]