Unicorn RubySpark [Ready]

[FlutterPie]

Roleplay Type: Crossover

Name: RubySpark

Sex: Female

Age: Filly

Species: Unicorn

Eye colour: Ruby Red

Coat: She has a sparkly red coat that shines a bit like the milky way in the light.

Mane/Tail: Her mane is medium long and flows a bit in the wind as does her tail. Both are a midnight

black and are as beautiful as the night sky.

Physique: Her body is a bit small and she is slim but this makes her have a perfect figure. She

never gains much weight on account of her high metabolism.

Residence: Canterlot

Occupation: None at the moment

Cutie Mark: Has not gotten hers yet.

History: RubySpark was born and raised in Canterlot, her mother and father worked in the library and

this reflected back to her, she began reading many different books, many of them being about magic or different styles of art. She

grew up in a loving and comfortable environment..but was always abit different ever since she was a foal. Her mother and father

worried since she had such a hard time making friends on account of her shy nature and outward look. When she entered Princess

Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns she got picked on almost daily. This had a major effect on her as shenow is very quiet and

mostly keeps to herself. Her talent with magic was noticeable even when she was just a foal, she could do many tricks with her

magic that none of the other kids her age could. Her parents gave her the courage to take the test to be accepted and she passed

it with flying colours (actually literally, as beautiful sparks were everywhere when she became so happy and had a small magic spark

explosion).

Character Summary: RubySpark is a very talented artist and enjoys painting the scenery of the many

places around equestria, she would make these paintings so impressive and much like the actual place

that when other ponies saw it they would stare in awe at the quality. She loved her little talent and would

practice it more whenever she had time to do it. Her favorite places to be are Canterlot, Sweet apple acres and ponyville.

When she was very young her parents took her to a trip to ponyville and she loved to play around

sugar cube corner and the beauty salon. When she was in ponyville, she had gotten lost and ended

up in sweet apple acres where she met many kind country ponies who helped her find her mum and dad.

She is very shy and quiet and tends to keep to herself..but don't let that fool you, for when you

earn her trust and become friends with her, you'll see she has a very big heart. She cares for those

she loves and would do anything in her power to help them, she was always bullied so when she sees

others in that situation, something in her sparks and she protects them instantly. The reason for this is

because her parents showered her with so much love..that despite becoming very shy and closed off

when she gets to know somebody, she pops out of her shell and you can meet the real her.

(I hope this is acceptable now, I made the changes that you recommended as much as came to my mind on the ideas. I really hope she can become a full fledged member of the community now. =) )

[Conor Colton]

Hey, FlutterPie. Nice to see a new member wanting to get into the RP here so quickly, and I have a few suggestions that should prove useful to you in getting Ruby here in Mane RP all the sooner

Firstly, the application text itself is oddly formatted, being that it's just one big oddly indented paragraph. I would advise putting a line between each segment so it looks spaced out and nicer and not all jumbled up. And, only the title fields should be in bold, like "Cutie Mark" or "Character Summary" and the rest shouldn't be in bold. That's just a minor point though so it can be easily fixed. Moving on now...

You say that her parents worked in a library and this had an effect on her, but you don't really explain how. I get the idea that a life with a lot of time spent in a library could lead to solitary or shy behavior but you should explain more on how that came to be. Maybe she got really invested in one book and that led her to more and more books and she gradually got less and less social as time went on, something along those lines.

Now onto her education. To start off, the school is named, "Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns" so there's a quick detail that's easily fixed. To continue onto that, the name of the school implies that Ruby has to have been gifted in magic, and from what I can see you haven't explained whether or not she is very good at magic or not. If you wanna keep the Gifted School idea though I could see a way it could work, perhaps all those books she read in the library her parents worked at had instructions for various magical techniques that Ruby learned to be effective at over the years to the point where she would be accepted into Celestia's school no sweat. That is just my suggestion on how those two aspects could tie in but I would advise you do it how you want, it being your character after all.

Next, would be her favorite places in Equestria. A pony can have a favorite place but it would make more sense if you talked about why each place is so special to her. Canterlot I can understand but the Everfree forest is a very dangerous place to be considered a favorite, perhaps Whitetail Woods would be a better choice. Ponyville is also an understandable favorite place but it would help if you included information on say a trip to Ponyville or Whitetail Woods, y'know like what she saw and did and what urged her to go there in the first place, perhaps she read about them?

The final thing I'd like to address for now is her personality and interests. You mentioned a hobby of hers is painting, and I would advise expanding further on that, like what got her into painting in the first place or whether or not she is very proficient or not at it. Perhaps her skills in painting could be above average due to her understanding of magic, and could paint a much more better picture of pretty much anything than most ponies her age, along those lines. As for her personality, you have said she is very shy but very warm when other ponies become significant players in her life, but haven't specified really on how that whole process happens. What I mean is, is she quirky in conversations? Snarky? Rude? Timid? That sort of thing, like how she would respond to various social scenarios.

That's it for now, hope this feedback has helped and I'm looking forward to seeing how Ruby here develops

[FlutterPie]

I added the suggested things, so I really hope she is ok now. I had fun making her and hope she can be accepted.

[FlutterPie]

If she needs anything else added, let me know. If she is fine, then great! I can’t wait to use her as soon as she’s accepted.

[Rosewind]