Pegasus Angel Wing (Ready)

[Angelwing]

Role Play Type: WOE

Name: Angel Wing

Gender[colour=#282828]: Male[/colour]

Age[colour=#282828]: Young Stallion[/colour]

Species[colour=#282828]: Pegasus[/colour]

Eye colour[colour=#282828]: Dark ice blue[/colour]

Coat[colour=#282828]: His coat is a pure white like snow, and he doesn't usually wear anything only for special occasions . His hooves are black[/colour]

Mane/Tail[colour=#282828]: His mane is hair is not to long or short and is black with blue streak. His tail is pointy and black with one blue streak. [/colour]

Physique[colour=#282828]: He is generally mildly buff, and very tall. He is pretty fast, but he has a average pony's strength. [/colour]

[colour=#282828]Note: The image of my pony is in the thumbnails. [/colour]

Residence[colour=#282828]: His homestead is [/colour][colour=#282828]Canterlot.[/colour]

Occupation[colour=#282828]: Royal [/colour][colour=#282828]Guard- Second Lieutenant[/colour]

Cutie mark[colour=#282828]: [/colour][colour=#282828] When Angel was young, he looked up to his older brother, Shadow for he was going into the Royal Guards. Angel wanted to be like him so bad. No, he wanted to become a Captain! One day, his brother decided to take him with him to one of his patrols. Angel was so excited, he was finally going to see what a guard does. At first he thought it was kind of boring, just walking around, until he saw a strange room. He goes into the room without his brother knowing, it was like a museum. Stood many armors, swords, and shields, but one caught his attention. He flew swiftly towards it, and he gazed in awe upon it, a grey shield with a sun on it, a sword that looks to be made of diamond and a helm of gold. His gaze seem to stay on it, as if the armor was calling him. He looks at his refection in the shield, he imagined he just saved Canterlot from a dragon and is being honored by Prissiness Celestia. He was taped on the shoulder, he looked behind him, and there was his brother. "Ah here you are...I see you came to see the armor of the Hero...You know I came here to look upon it as well...follow me I want to show you something...." he showed Angel his locker. He grabbed a object and asked Angel to close his eyes, and he did. When Angel opened them, there on his head was a wooden made helm, a wooden sword by his hooves, and a wooden shield. "Who says you can't start early..." he Shadow smiles and showed him how to hold the sword and then the shield. Angel hugged hos brother for this wonderful gift. Angel then went outside and pretended to be like the Hero... he pretended he fought countless monsters, dragons, and evil pony foes. Shadow almost got hit by Angel's sword, "Whoa there! ha ha ha, look what you got there, perhaps you are destined to be a guard." There on his flank was a shield with 3 crowns. "What does it mean!?" he said in excitement "Well...I guess the shield for guards, and the crowns for royalty. Means...you are destined to be like I...a Royal Guard... The cutie mark is merely the stepping stone...now that you have realized your dream is your destiny...how shall we celebrate?" Angel was so excited, he knew how they could celebrate, "Food!" Shadow rolled his eyes,"You and your stomach....fine I spend the last of my bits for you...come on then my shift is over. Let' eat! Angel garbed his wooden sword and his put his wooden shield in his bag, they galloped off to the nearest restaurant to celebrate.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]Note: The image of the cutie mark is the thumbnails. [/colour]

History: ​Angel was born in Canterlot. His childhood wasn't that great at first. He was teased for his blank flank, and people saying that he wasn't as brave as his older brother, but a weak scared pony. He had only two friends counting his brother, After the event of the cutie mark, Angel was more respected. Soon he had many amazing friends. Thanks to his brother, he was able to apply for the guardponies boot camp. He had to wake up so early, Angel hated this, but he knew he must get though. The drills and work outs were grueling, Angel was always soar after them, but he manages to come out strong. After couple mouths ,he just need to past two more test. He had to pass the written test, which he wasn't really good at, and then the physical test. Angel study hard and push his body past it's limits, he manged to get a good score and pass his physical test with breeze. Along with others who passed, they gave them armor with the royal seal. Today he started to work his way achieve his dream of becoming Captain of The Royal Guard. He notices the more he ranks up, the more responsibility he had, and more stress he had. He knew this is part of the job, so he continues, even thought at times he hates all the pressure. He still has to take the written and physical test every 2 years, this is how he ranks up, so he has to stay in shape and still study. He hopes to have a family someday.

[colour=#282828]Character Summary: [/colour][colour=#282828]Angel is a very heroic pony, he shows everyday, by saving ponies or leading when it is needed thus keeping everypony safe. Angel is kind and humble, he doesn't take anything for granted, and treats everypony the same. He loves to play with children and cares for his family. He always puts everyone before himself. He tends to fool around ,but he knows when there is a time to be serious and when not to be. He is open to everypony he meets, not matter who they are. He loves food and being athletic. He fears that someday he will not be able to save all his friends or family, when in sorrow he tends to be silent. Even thought he is seems like an amazing pony, he has flaws. He over eats sometimes, causing his brother major pain, acts too childish, and has a huge ego when it comes to his honor or bravery. He sometimes boast of himself, sometimes showing off, his skill. He tends to be curious, usually getting him in to trouble.[/colour]

Edited May 3, 2013 by Angelwing

[Mojo]

Hi Angelwing! Normally, we RP Helpers don't start analyzing an app until it is marked (Ready), but in this case I felt the need to inform you that the correct term for the 'wolves' that inhabit the Everfree Forest is "Timberwolf" and not "Tinderwolf." I know it is a minor misspelling, but when Senior RP Staff will examine this app, they will pick up on it immediately. So I suggest to correct the spellings now so as to avoid that problem. Good strong start for this app! I like what you're doing here!

[Mojo]

Ah! So you've made the change I suggested! Very good! This app is very good! All of the required fields are filled, and although it is very brief in some places, I believe there is enough here to pass Senior RP Helper inspection!

[RarityDash]

Hi there.

I'm afraid I have a few small concerns with this app that prevent me from approving it.

To start, we prefer players not have their characters live in Ponyville. Ponyville is just one setting in the much greater world of Equestria that the WoE RP tries to present. Is it truly critical to the character that he live there? Within Equestria, Ponyville is a small town of little note. What does it offer the character that he couldn't get somewhere else?

There is also the issue of the cutie mark. I'm kind of unsure what it is supposed to represent or how it relates to the story told. For cutie marks, both the story of how it was achieved and the intended meaning must be included.

Other than that, the application is really short. Is there any more detail you could share about the character? We could use more in the character summary section in particular. what are your characters flaws and negative traits? What you have now presents a character who is heroic, modest, cheerful and self sacrificing. It's all positive things that present a glowing picture. A few character flaws would go a long way to add more depth and dimension.

Hope that is clear. Good luck with the application.

[Angelwing]

Hows that, anything else that needs improvement?

[RarityDash]

It's still a little too short. I'd probably be willing to pass the character summary now, but the history really seems slight. Any more details you can give us about the characters story up to the point he's at now? How did he become a guard? Were there any struggles along the way? Was getting to where he is now difficult for him? Was he ever tested along the way? You don't have to go all out with the writing, but there are a lot of details that could be given in regards to the path to becoming a guard, and this comes up just a little short, I think.

Add a little more and it should be fine to stamp.

[Angelwing]

I did the improvements

[RarityDash]

A lot better, if maybe a little too specific now. Saying he had to train rigorously and pass difficult tests is great, however giving things like exact percentiles he had to make on the tests ventures a little too closely toward inventing original lore for the Royal Guard, which is something we don't allow in apps. I would suggest making parts of it less specific.

Additionally, while it seems likely that Celestia herself would honor new guards in some kind of ceremony, as per site rules, your not allowed to include meetings with cast characters in applications. I would take out the references to Celestia.

You're really close now. Just a little more.

[Angelwing]

Improvements are done

[RarityDash]

Okay. I think this is good to pass. Have fun.

[Rosewind]

Filing.