Pegasus Monochrome [fixed + ready]

[Monochrome]

Roleplay type: World of Equestria

Name: Monochrome

Gender: female

Age: young Mare

Species: Pegasus

Eye colour: Forest green with flecks of brown

Coat: Silvery grey with splashes of rainbow paint on her hooves. She wears a blue and white striped scarf.

Mane/Tail: Long, wavy, black. Kind of messy. Tends to wear a wide range of different hats. Physique: Long-legged, slender, slightly taller than most ponies (but only slightly)

Residence: The outskirts of Cloudsdale

Occupation: Artist, although she is not very well known. It is more of a hobby than a profession because, although she loves doing it, it earns only minimal amounts of bits- not quite enough to make a living on. As a second job to help with getting money, she works as a part-time waitress at a coffee shop.

Cutie mark: Monochrome's cutie mark is a black quill drawing a spiral, to represent her talent for both art and storywriting. She was one of the last in her class to earn a cutie mark simply because, although she loved art, she thought that she wasn't all that good and that a lot of other ponies her age were a lot better than her, and thus denied that it could be her unique talent. However, after working all night on a painting and earning a win at a school art show, she realized that even if plenty of ponies were a lot better than her at art, it was what she loved to do, and she could improve on what she already knew. And that was the moment she earned her cutie mark.

History: Monochrome was born and raised in Cloudsdale. Her parents held good jobs, and so her family was in a good state- as a foal, Monochrome had all the toys and whatnot she could want. As a filly, Monochrome could easily pick out the kind of ponies she wanted to be around, and made quite a few friends, despite her tendency to sit near the back of the classroom and doodle rather than talking with most of her classmates in school. Her parents are Ink Splash and Data Blitz, who get along well with Monochrome. Monochrome has a very large family, including 5 aunts (and 5 uncles, of course), all with children. Oddly, there are only a few artists in the family. Now, Monochrome lives a nice life, devoting her spare time to her art, which she occasionally sells in Cloudsdale's market. She lives on the far edge of Cloudsdale, but will gladly go out with friends and is no stranger to having fun. She hopes to become better known as an artist, and to travel all of Equestria.

Character Summary: Monochrome is a young mare who is very talented with many mediums of art. She aims to travel all of Equestria with her art, and thus become better known. She loves art, a good story, birds (especially her pet raven, Ivan, who she has trained to talk, although it's only a few simple phrases.), reptiles, and sweets. She, however, dislikes public speaking, deep water, and boredom. She spends her spare time drawing and painting, and sometimes reading or writing. She tends to keep to herself, although, if you appeal to her and her inner randomness, she can be a bit loud. She could be considered smart, as she has an extensive vocabulary and knows quite a few strange facts, which she will blurt out at random should an awkward silence happen. She is usually quiet and thoughtful, except when around friends, and then she can be a lot of fun and quite loud. Her faults include how easily distracted she is and her discomfort with awkward silences in conversation. She has little coordination and is quite clumsy, and thus is not good at all at sports, but she doesn't really like sports anyways and has learned that laughing at yourself every now and then is good for a pony.

[Rosewind]

Hiya, please don't make double topics of your application. Use the "Edit" feature in your OP. I'll remove your first application since this one is "fixed and ready."

[QuickLime]

Oh no! More Technical Derpyculties! Next time just edit your OP in your thread instead of making a new one! I'v asked Rosie to bin your other application so we don't have a repeat thread

And Ninja'd by her highness!

[Monochrome]

Oops, sorry. XD Thanks for taking care of the first one. And now, I wait for my judgement!

[QuickLime]

Well for starter the lazy eye, and the wing issue have to go, that's just not quite WOE to focus on such disabilities, the cutie mark story could use a little extra oomph to it as well!

And really there is nothing that truly marks your pony as odd, so her own parents finding her odd seems a bit overkill, I think you focus too much on trying to make her slightly outcasted and should redirect your focus and aim more towards here artistic side.

You focus too much on her feeling rejected, lonely, and afraid, try to make her more like a character we would see on the show

[Monochrome]

Oh... Gah, I never meant for it to seem to focus on that... I based her on myself, so yeah... I have a lazy eye, but it doesn't really impair my vision, it's just kind of odd to look at. XD The wing issue was just a random idea, that can definitely go. Hm... not sure what to add to the cutie mark story, honestly, it took me a while to think of that. Eh, I'll work on it.

[Monochrome]

Fixed it up a bit.

[QuickLime]

Oh... Gah, I never meant for it to seem to focus on that... I based her on myself, so yeah... I have a lazy eye, but it doesn't really impair my vision, it's just kind of odd to look at. XD The wing issue was just a random idea, that can definitely go. Hm... not sure what to add to the cutie mark story, honestly, it took me a while to think of that. Eh, I'll work on it.

I was also born witha lazy eye! haha

But you should really not base a character on yourself/try to ponyfiy yourself for WOE, it seems to make it feel personal when someone critics it

[RarityDash]

Looks good to me!