Wayward "Crymson" Amethyst [Ready!]

[Harv0kz]

"And when I am done with Equestria, I will go where nopony has gone before."

~Wayward "Crymson" Amethyst - Adventurer, Cartographer.

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria

Name: Wayward “Crymson” Amethyst

Sex: Male

Age: Young Stallion, almost full, adult stallion

Species: Crystal Pony

Eye colour: Black

Coat: Amethyst red, in the presence of a extremely powerful and relevant magic source from the Crystal Empire (Ie. Crystal heart activation), it tends to shine more intensely, resembling Ruby.

Mane/Tail: His mane and tail is of a [colour=#666666]shade of grey (#666666)[/colour] , which only shines brighter in the conditions listed above. Both are ‘short’ for a pony of the norm at his age and race. Roughly cut pattern with low maintenance, because of his constant travel.

Physique: Between travelling long distances on hoof, and making occasional detours, making own maps, and traversing difficult terrain, he has a very well-conditioned stamina and agility, having to deal with natural obstacles most of the time. His nimble frame gives him the look at more closely resembles a Pegasus, rather than a Earth pony, but it's all the same to Wayward.

Residence: Crystal Empire, Residential Area, Amethyst Ward, although he is rarely in one place, let alone home.

Occupation: Adventurer extraordinaire/Adventure-writer, Cartographer.

Cutie Mark: Navigational compass.

The compass represents his wayward direction when it comes to travelling, and his ability to navigate effectively, but also his origin (North, as in the Crystal Empire), not to mention his desire to adventure places (why else would you need a compass, aside from localized navigation).

History:

Both parents of Wayward Amethyst had pursued their goals in the artistic world, his Mother a visual artist, his Father a writer. Raised on the stories of his Father, and the vivid pictures of his Mother, Wayward traveled across the land before he even left his local district, from towers of cities grand and majestic, to wide open plains, so different to the mountainous areas of the Crystal Kingdom. He was always the fidgety one, never being able to st of grand citiay in one place, and was subject to the teacher calling him back to attention every odd minute. His nickname, “Crymson”, came from his red coat of the same named tone, but he kept misspelling it early on, and it stuck with him.

Without the wings of a Pegasi, or the magic of a Unicorn, Wayward relied on quick wits and nimble reflexes that are unusual of the Earth Ponies. Friends got bored of his occasional invites to spetlunk in their general district after hundreds of times, but he was sneakier, better, and more daring, going as far as to explore his district next door, which worried his parents to death when he came back late past bedtime. Aside from regular talk downs, he had a curfew imposed on him. Not daring to risk the wrath of his parents again, but still wanting to keep himself entertained, he trained himself to be faster and quicker. He was rebellious, but not so that he would gain the attention of the guards or police. Besides, his innocence was justified by his youthful curiosity. To keep track of places he had been to inside the vast kingdom, he began to draw maps, learning to do so by using the books at his school library, and carefully placed questions to his parents.

It took months of sneaking in and out of home, and sometimes friends joined along, but bit by bit, he carefully mapped out the Crystal Kingdom in its entirety. He found shortcuts that made his travel faster, and a keen eye spotted key landmarks and popular stores and stalls. And on small sheets carefully hidden throughout his room to stop his Mother from finding them while cleaning up his room, Wayward made the first step.

And with a lot of tape, he assembled the map, and found it to be just same sized, but more detailed than one he bought when he and family were out. And when the last piece of paper was in, a blinding flash of light appeared, and his Cutie Mark was there. Gained from the fruits of his labor, though it would be awhile before he told the truth, for he could get into serious trouble, so he said that through a friendly treasure hunt was how he got it.

As he aged, he spent less time around books, and more time outside. He decided that he belonged in the open, not inside conjuring stories from the words of others, or drawing the imaginary pictures of once-old tales. His parents supported him, embracing it as a slightly more… dynamic art form. But it was an art nonetheless. To be able to travel and to learn, and after months of preparation, and a thousand year delay, he traveled out for the first time, from the gates of Crystal Kingdom, and into the open world of Equestria. At first, the customs and culture of regular ponies daunted him, confusing even that in which his childhood stories told him. But he pressed on, town after town, city after city, over hill, mountain and forest, nothing stopped him, and he feared nothing. His wits and speed helped him escape Timberwolves, Manticores, and all other assorted beasties who viewed him as lunch, and his charming personality found friends of many places and faces in travels.

And all of that was recorded into a small journal, or well, a set of them. Each time he came home, he would pick up a new, blank journal, then stay awhile, before setting off into the great unknown. Over those years, he has amassed great knowledge of the Equestrian Heartlands, plus the outer areas, keeping his exploration journeys within the main continent. Although excursions to the outlying Islands are planned, he still has to get over the kink of having finding a cheap way to the cross the water. In any case, Wayward believes there is still much more to discover in Equestria, despite his comprehensive details and cartography, and he hopes that one day, after he finishes the cataloging of Equestria's various landmarks, population centers and natural beauties, can set foot beyond the frontiers, to explore new lands, and to go, where no pony has gone before.

But until that becomes reality, he will continue to explore Equestria, sharing his knowledge with others, and when he needs the money, selling off his maps (he always makes copies, or can effortlessly recreate those maps, though it takes time he is much more content with spending outside), as well as offering to guide ponies unfamiliar to certain areas, again, for a low price. Though his parent's worry about how much he is neglecting money-making as a primary objective in Wayward's life, they are proud of the amount of knowledge he has accumulated and contributed to society, if not for his own satisfaction, but for others to enjoy tales of hidden and exotic places, just like those tales in which his parent's once told to him, as a foal.

Character Summary:

Impatient and hot-headed, Wayward needs to feel the wind of the open road to be relaxed, the flow of adrenaline, although he enjoys drawing the maps and writing the tales of places he travels to, nothing satisfies him more than moving through thick jungle or going through roads less traveled. He rarely plans along the routes that he trots, preferring to improvise and adapt to whatever life decides to throw at him. This has proven both useful when face-to-face with the dangerous creatures, as well as around other ponies with shorter fuses or silver tongues. Although, he finds it hard to trump those will a longer-term planning mindset, or those who are much better prepared.

Wayward is a wanderer, a seeker of curiosity that is slightly harder to gain that by just reading tomes of academia, and at times, prefer to regard what he gains as the superior knowledge, both a plus when it comes to talk with bookworms, but a minus when sometimes the things they say are wrong. The belief that his work isn't complete yet drives him forward to bring light and pony to every corner of Equestria, and when he has run out of things to explore, he will simply start going outside the known land, pushing boundaries. He doesn't care, and his goals are flexible. As long as he is out on open field, or climbing through rocky mountains, he is happy enough that he would even prolong transit between towns to enjoy nature's handiwork, but he works back into

It does get boring along the road though, without companionship, and although he quickly makes friends in the places he stays for days, he finds it hard to leave them when it comes time to move on. The only thing that doesn't keep him rooted is is passion to explore and adventure, regardless of whatever tried to stop him. Some around him say that he himself may have a silver tongue that only works for a while, and then it comes crashing back with rust when he explains himself. As a result, he knows many ponies, but none he can call "best friend". However, there are some he wouldn't hesitate to invite alongside for his adventures within the local area. But departure is the same as always. Glad to be back on the road, but really going to miss those friends, because he never knows how long it is before he can see them again. Thus his emotions are in conflict.

In his spare time, Wayward makes proper maps, taking from his brief field notes and sketches of areas, as well as navigational notes, and then drawing out the finer details on bigger pieces of paper. usually these maps have things that are usually not on normal maps, or even high-detail maps. His talent for spotting the uncanny and less-than-obvious give his maps that extra bit of detail. Eventually, all of the map gets transferred onto a super-map of Equestria. Something he enjoys, and makes an analogy to "watching a pet, or a tree grow". It fills him with pride, knowing that such a map describes more than many books of the same matter would. On occasion, he also writes, taking the journals he keeps from his journeys, and making a along story out of it. This gets him creative, wildly creative, as some aspects of his stories exaggerate some sections of his travels, but he doesn't mind. They end out the same, detailing the grandeur of the places he goes to.

Being happy-lucky-go, it seems hard to find a fear or worry for Wayward, a pony as fearless and undaunted as him. However, he always has constantly lingering thoughts, like how his friends are doing, will they remember him, how his parents are coping without him being near, and what would happen if he was delayed, etc. But all those minor fears don't trump his main fear of being outdone. Should his skill be preceded by another, or should another stomp over his ability, then he would have no tale to tell, and his work would be all for naught. As a result of this fear, he tends to be quite reserved if meeting others that could become competition for him, and tries to deter that pony, until Wayward can tell that they have given up completely, or he has won.

His foalhood rebellious streak tends to come back to him once in a while, where he acts with a little less regard for the bossy or the authoritative, but never overstepping his bounds unless absolutely necessary (this is mainly due to his parents keeping a tight watch on him). Eg. Traveling through those restricted areas is something he will gladly do without enticement. He considers his version of maps to be more detailed, more than the best, and his version of the knowledge in his area of expertise, to be the only form he believes in, this coming from his pride. As a result, he sometimes suffers from hubris, being arrogant and subjectively denying at times. Only those who can outright prove to him that they are correct would earn his respect and apology, but until that occurs, he is a jerk to that pony, or group of them.

Extra notes (My sidenotes incase same char is to be used in FFA):

• Has extensive survival gear pack he carries around, and ups the ante from his regular WoE “nature hikes” to extreme adventures, hunting down lost ruins and archaeological sites of interest lost to the modern pony.
  
• Carries a Cutlass-Machete that once belonged to his dad, and is a self-trained fighter, with help from someponies that he met along the journey. Very light, and cuts through foliage with ease.
  
• Crossover/FFA time era allowance: 19th century like or earlier. If firearms present, he has a well-crafted pistol that he was gifted by a friend among his travels.
  

[starswirlthebearded]

I'm just letting you know that due to me not feeling well, I'm going to handle this after the weekend is over and I'm presumably feeling better. I apologize for the wait. I'll review this ASAP though!

Thank you for your understanding

[starswirlthebearded]

Hey there! Sorry about the wait!

So... Overall this is a great adventurer app. There are some things that need to be edited and workout out for clarity and for WoE.

First off... there is no such things as "crystal pony terms" since they are still ponies. All terms are equine in nature. If you wish to describe colours with similar gems that's fine, but you don't need to go past that (like saying "onyx (well, black)") Those things can just be removed (the parenthesis in the physical description basically).

Next thing is the Cutie Mark... While the compass is fine... the cutlass is not... We aren't sure what represents adventure in Equestria, but considering the fact that cutlasses more represent pirates and the like in the Human world, I highly doubt it would represent adventure in the pony world. I personally think a map would work better, especially since that links directly to his special talent which earned him the cutie mark (cartography) (at least how I read it in your story, he made a map better than the one that he had bought through the fruits of his adventures).

The next part is more semantics that need to be clarified... Was he already a stallion when he left the Empire? (and thus they had already come back from being sealed away for 1000 years) If not that needs to be modified or clarified since there were no Crystal ponies outside of the Crystal Empire until after them being unsealed.

The app is also better without the line

His wits and speed helped him escape Timberwolves, Manticores, and all other assorted beasties who viewed him as lunch, and his tongue got him into places where normal ponies had to pay a pretty bit to go.

The first part is OK enough on it's own, but seems a bit out of place. The latter part makes almost no sense... The implications aren't really good though...

Other than those things the History seems fine...

The Character Summary has a few small things as well...

First are nit picks... you don't need "As stated in history." It just makes the rest of the sentence awkward. Also the same can be said of "and yada yada"

The last thing... that last paragraph seems a bit unWoE and should be toned down. No pony should directly taunt authority. Being a bit rebellious is fine, but keep it in check and within the tone of WoE. Though that is really the only thing that really strikes me as off.

If you have any questions let me know!

[Monochrome]

(not an RP helper or anything like that) Nice character. Quick question... Isn't amethyst normally purple, not red? you described him as "amethyst red".

[starswirlthebearded]

(not an RP helper or anything like that) Nice character. Quick question... Isn't amethyst normally purple, not red? you described him as "amethyst red".

If I'm not mistaken there is such thing as a Red Amethyst. It is just exceedingly rare. It tends to be a deep red colour. Which is why I didn't mention it in my critique.

Though Ruby would probably be a better gem to use though... but it is a minor detail...

[Monochrome]

Ah, okay.

[Harv0kz]

Well, I didn't want to use ruby in the name, because I'm sure that's an overused colour link to the coat. I don't a think a pony being named should have it's coat of colours reflecting the colour of the objects in it's name, that's just my opinion out there.

Now, fixes:

Semantics checked and altered, I must've been swapping between my Iron Kingdoms Fiction/RP wording and a application.

CM Altered so it's now just a Compass. Purpose defined as Navigation, adventure, drawing maps was just a discipline to record his travels and explorations, him getting CM at the end through the big Crystal Kingdom map being a sign to indicate that the culmination of him sneaking around to play explorer paid off.

Fixed the misunderstanding (if any) about his presence post/pre King Sombra. Though it's just a small segment: "[colour=#282828]and a thousand year delay", other parts have been altered to remain chronologically correct (hopefully)[/colour]

[colour=#282828]Toned down the rebellious streak, and would like to clarify that I did mention Cryson doesn't overstep his level of authority, but it doesn't mean he can't whine, "interpret" it in his own way (within limits ofc), or act stubborn. That was what I meant by being a rebel. Just having issues with someone giving him orders.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]And for the record, Red Amethyst has different shades, but I was going for a darkish, crimsony, red shade that appeared more geologically natural, rather than web-generated, so I took closest red object.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]And edits done, waiting response.[/colour]

[starswirlthebearded]

Well, I didn't want to use ruby in the name, because I'm sure that's an overused colour link to the coat. I don't a think a pony being named should have it's coat of colours reflecting the colour of the objects in it's name, that's just my opinion out there.

Now, fixes:

Semantics checked and altered, I must've been swapping between my Iron Kingdoms Fiction/RP wording and a application.

CM Altered so it's now just a Compass. Purpose defined as Navigation, adventure, drawing maps was just a discipline to record his travels and explorations, him getting CM at the end through the big Crystal Kingdom map being a sign to indicate that the culmination of him sneaking around to play explorer paid off.

Fixed the misunderstanding (if any) about his presence post/pre King Sombra. Though it's just a small segment: "[colour=#282828]and a thousand year delay", other parts have been altered to remain chronologically correct (hopefully)[/colour]

[colour=#282828]Toned down the rebellious streak, and would like to clarify that I did mention Cryson doesn't overstep his level of authority, but it doesn't mean he can't whine, "interpret" it in his own way (within limits ofc), or act stubborn. That was what I meant by being a rebel. Just having issues with someone giving him orders.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]And for the record, Red Amethyst has different shades, but I was going for a darkish, crimsony, red shade that appeared more geologically natural, rather than web-generated, so I took closest red object.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]And edits done, waiting response.[/colour]

All the changes looks good.

Also I want to be clear about what I meant... I was talking about colour description only. I really don't care much for the name since name's don't NEED to have any solid basis in regards to the pony. Personally I would have used Pidgeon's Blood Ruby for the primary coat colour, since Red Amethyst is rare [and most typically manufactured], and natural Red Amethyst is a fairly recent discovery [found in Canada iirc]. But again, I personally had no issues with you describing your pony as such since I knew that it did exist.

Please be patient while another SRPHS reviews this app

[Armony]