Unicorn Swift Reaper (READY)

[ERROR57noname]

Roleplay Type: Free-For-All/Crossover

Name: Swift Reaper

Sex: Male

Age: Colt

Species: Unicorn

Eye colour:Pure black

Coat: Darkish Grey

Mane/Tail: Somewhat messy, though it appears as though he occasionally pulls it back a bit to not look like a total mess. Tail is long, hair is short. Both are completely black.

Physique: Somewhat muscular from running a lot, but very thin

Residence: His shop in a back-alley in Manehattan, which he never leaves. The open hours are 10 PM to 3 AM

Occupation: Shopkeeper of Swift Reaper's Soul Shop

Cutie Mark: (Couldn't get it into the image) A stereotypical ghost image. He first got his cutie mark while at his parents' funeral, and he saw their souls leave their body, and found that he could talk to them.

History: Swift Reaper was born in a small apartment in Manehattan. His father was a grave-digger (of the legal kind) unicorn who was always called Skulldigger. His mother was also a unicorn, who worked as a coffinmaker. Her name was Eternal Sleep, and she loved her son very much, though she was often the only one home. They sent Swift Reaper, but quickly pulled him out when some gang members at the school started bullying him. He was in his room, examining a math textbook when his mother and father developed a fatal disease. They died nearly a week later, and he got his cutie mark at their funeral (See the Cutie Mark section). He started his own shop in an abandoned building near their house, but not any old house. This house was for lost souls and spirits, the ghosts of dead ponies. He recieves no apprent business to ordinary passerbys, though he in fact is the best place in Manehattan for lost souls to come and shop. He sells stuff like tastes, smells, sights, pictures, sounds, and textiles. His main product, however, is silver bottles, perfect for spirits to live in. Many choose to live in his shop, for they enjoy the company of Swift Reaper and the other souls on the shelves.

Character Summary: He has always had a talent for talking with the dead, and is excellent at socializing with them (though not with living things). He also excels at business and marketing. His lifelong dream is to provide a home for all of the lost and lonely souls in Equestria, and teaching others to interact with them. He still has no idea how to teach people, but he keeps trying to figure it out. He really enjoys the company of the dead, but he tries to get away from the living whenever possible. In his spare time, he socializes with the souls in his shop, getting to know them when he can. To speak with him is almost like talking to a brick wall. He does not like to speak out loud, and when he does, his voice is gruff and scratchy. Still, he tried his best to not stick out too much, for he does not like to be the center of attention. He is very friendly and kind-hearted, but he has yet to find a living person who he feels deserves that kindness. He is also extremely shy. He always seems to fail at anything involving the living. He barely ever sleeps or eats, only when it is necissary to survive. He very much fears thieves, who may steal the beautiful silver bottles which house his best friends. He also has nightmares of total and utter silence, where he cannot hear the continuous chatter of the dead.

[Conor Colton]

Hey, ERROR57noname. I've given your app a read and I think some revisions need to be made if Swift is going to be accepted into WoE RP.

First of all though, I want to say that a lot of Swift's character aspects sadly can't be accepted into WoE like the talking to spirits and the theme of things such as the dead or grave digging. If you wanted to have him keep these abilities then I'd suggest putting him in for the Free For All RP section we have here. If you're set on wanting him in WoE though then some changes definitely need to be made, so please bear with me on this

One thing that really, really has to go is the references to drugs. That's the one elephant in the room I'd like to get out of here right away. Such material isn't accepted for WoE RP, not even in the 18+ section I'm sorry to say; but given it doesn't seem to be a large part of the character I'm sure the change could be easily made.

The next thing I'd like to address is his talent. The concept of a pony being able to talk to the dead and keep an inventory of the dead doesn't look like it would fit into WoE, at all. So I'm sorry to say but his talent and his profession would have to be drastically altered to fit into WoE and have him be accepted into it, and themes of death and talking to the souls of the departed would have to be taken out.

Again though I'll remind you that if you wanted these supernatural abilities to remain intact you could move this character into the Free For All RP section of Canterlot. Any references to drugs have to go though.

The thing with WoE is that you have to stop and ask, "Would a pony like this be in the show?" and then use that as a basis for an acceptable character

These are only the larger issues and if you'd be willing to change those we could work on the smaller problems until he's ready for WoE. I hope this has helped and please let me know if you have any questions or need anything

[ERROR57noname]

I will probably move him to F-F-A, because I worked hard on developing that skillset. I will tka eout that reference, sorry about it. I was originally going to say 'kill' or something, but that didn't seem to fit. I'm terribly sorry for the mishap.

Thank you for the advice, I'll change it now. And, I'll probably roll out a new character later.

[Conor Colton]

Hey again, ERROR57noname, thanks for making some changes on Swift here, it really helps

Now that he's in FFA we have a lot more room to work with in terms of supernatural abilities, but before we deal with that there's a few smaller things I think could be improved on, so once again, please bear with me

I'd like to discuss his parents for a start. I'd like to suggest that something different be done with them other than them simply dying so Swift can realize his powers, because that just makes them seem unnecessary and not really adding much in terms of influence to him (Plus the 'dead parents' trope is often pretty overused and I'd think it'd be to stray away from that cliche)

As for these powers and this skill set he has, I think some changes could be made to make it even better. First off I'm not sure the idea of holding spirits in small bottles in a shop in Manehatten would make much sense, even if FFA; and I'd like you to try and think outside the box on this one, asking yourself, "Why would spirits want to be there in the first place?" or, "Would they really want to be stuck in a bottle?". I make these suggestions because I think there's potential for a really good angle here on Swift, if it's handled correctly, so I encourage you to think hard on this one, and think what other possibly cool professions could be applied to talking to spirits, (Like say a Spirit Medium for example) without having them all bottled up as they are

A job where he's interacting with other characters would be very good, considering a profession of talking to the dead doesn't lend Swift to being awfully social, and I hope you can see where I'm coming from with this

If you have any ideas as to how to make his talents fit more into a more believable and approachable profession, or if there's anything else you want to ask/discuss more, let me know

[ERROR57noname]

Well, the reason spirits want to be in the bottles is because they want a nice home. They actually have an interior, and the only reason why they look like bottles is not arouse the interest of passerbys. As for the 'spirit medium' thing, that could be a good idea. People could visit the shop to speak with a dead friend, or maybe the police need to talk to a dead criminal. Swift would probably have them in his shop. The other thing about the bottles is that they can stick around and chat with others without worrying about passing on.

[Rosewind]

Okay then, thanks!