Krad1213 Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Name: Tough SpiritGender: MaleAge: Young StallionSpecies: PegasusEye color: BlueCharacter color: Light blue is a debate OwOMane/Tail/Other: His mane and tail are a sandy blond with a slight curl to it.Physique: He is tall as is most Stallions. He is lean and not very muscular.Residence: CloudsDaleOccupation: WeatherTeam StormsCutie Mark: His Cutie Mark is a Tornado with a moon and stars caught in its winds. Stands for Courage---CMStory---He decided to sneak out and go adventuring in some area near his home one night (an area considered dangerous or mysterious or something of that sort.) While bravely exploring the place, he met a filly doing the same. They joined up their investigations. At one point, the filly sped ahead of Tough Spirit, disappearing through the foliage ahead. Before Tough Spirit reached her, he heard a frightened yelp; when he burst into the clearing the filly had rushed into, he found himself and his fellow adventurer faced with a huge wild bear . The bear had reared up on its hind legs, teeth bared and a hungry look in its beady eyes. The filly was locked in place in her terror. As the bear lumbered forward, Tough Spirit knew he had to do something to rescue the filly; so, he quickly formulated a rough plan. Now, he had experimented with his mirror-image flying move before, but never really perfected it... It was still rather shaky, but it would have to do, for lack of time to devise a better plan. He mustered all of his courage, then sprung into action. He flapped as hard as he could, speeding in circles around the bear. It swiped at him, luckily only grazing Tough Spirit's tail with its huge paw. He flew faster... Phase 2. He just needed to hold it long enough to confuse the feral creature. The move's main part began to show. First, it appeared as barely a few wisps of smoke trailing behind him, but soon became more evident as illusory copies of himself. But, now his rhythm and strength began to falter- but, thinking of the importance of doing this right, of what was at stake here, his courage soared, giving him his second wind. It appeared to finally be working, the bear glancing around bewilderedly and shuffling backwards. At last, just as an off-rhythm wingbeat brought Tough Spirit crashing into a bush, the bear gave a final roar and scampered out of sight. Upon opening his eyes, Tough Spirit found the grateful filly in awe of his performance, and an image on his flank.Unique Traits: He has a special move he calls the 'Soul Dash' as he can't think of something else to call it and he has yet to perfect it. It causes mirror images of him to appear like an after image.History: Tough Spirit was born in Canterlot as a foal as his parents were not sure how well of a flier he would be. He was raised in Canterlot till he a colt with decent flying abilities. As a colt he was getting into a lot of trouble sneaking around pulling pranks, swiping sweets. One time he took so many sweets he complained for hours how he would die from being too full, he ate so much he couldn't fly right. Of course he got scolded quite a bit too by his mother Swift Wind could be quite harsh at times.His father was a Unicorn who liked to dabble with potions some of which blew up in his face. One day his father made a potion and left it alone to go wash up. That was a mistake as Spirit trotted in and bumped his head against the table knocking it over, it didn't land on his head, nope it fell into his mouth which he ended up drinking down to the last drop. The potion had a strange effect on the young colt, for a while it made his main change colors with is mood but that faded after a month. Strangely after that faded he had developed a taste for strawberry milkshakes.Character Summary: He's playful and likes to play pranks. He does his best to find ways to make people smile. Some people would say he's not serious enough but he can be serious when he thinks the situation needs it. He hates it when things get to serious and always finds a way to make thinks a little lighter. He is always trying to bring a smile to his friends.He can be a bit flirty from time to time and tries to impress some girl with his fantastic flying skills. At times he gets very shy and hides himself in the clouds or behind his wings. He also doesn't always think things through so he can sometimes end up in a mess. He loves strawberry milk and milkshakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armony Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 How is this application coming along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krad1213 Posted February 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Slowly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Making progress on this app? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted February 20, 2014 Report Share Posted February 20, 2014 In response to PM: once you mark this app as [Ready], I can give you official feedback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted February 22, 2014 Report Share Posted February 22, 2014 Alrighty, I've finally got a chance to look at this app:Can you describe what a 'Soul Dash' actually is? We can't really make a judgement on how plausible it is unless we know exactly what that special move entails.Ponies in both Canterlot Chronicles and World of Equestria are not allowed to have any part of their body that changes appearance, whether it may be due to natural cycles, magical effects, and ect. No indication in FiM world-building lore (which CC honors) exists suggesting that normal ponies can be afflicted with permanent body changes for whatever reason.If the appearance changes are the primary feature of your OC, I wholeheartedly suggest changing this guy's RP Type to Free For All, where you have the freedom to use him in the manner you intend. If you agree, add "Roleplay Type: Free For All" to the top of the app sheet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krad1213 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2014 Um just a question. Why aren't changes allowed? I mean look at Princess luna, she has changed her form before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted February 22, 2014 Report Share Posted February 22, 2014 Princess Luna is an alicorn (and a special long-lived one at that); your OC isn't. Additionally, there's still the matter that coming up with new methods to have parts of an OC's body to change appearance would be creating new lore, which users are not permitted to do.This matter is non debatable, so you're going to have to switch Tough Spirit to FFA if you don't want to remove what makes him unique. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krad1213 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2014 On the matter of the Soul Dash I am having trouble thinking of the exactly. I want to keep it but I can't think of how it works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted February 22, 2014 Report Share Posted February 22, 2014 Very well, be sure to post whenever your edits are finished. ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krad1213 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2014 While on the topic of the Soul Dash could you PM I would like your help with it. If you can that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted February 23, 2014 Report Share Posted February 23, 2014 For the sake of transparency, all application business must be conducted in this topic. And while I won't be able to tell you what the Soul Dash should be, we can give you tips on how to change it to make sure it isn't OP. For the record though, the Soul Dash shouldn't try to "out-awesome" a Sonic Rainboom, if you get what I'm saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krad1213 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Can I keep the fact that the potion makes him crave strawberry shakes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Hmmmm..... maybe not state it outright, but you can imply it in a way that doesn't suggest it has to be 100% true. XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krad1213 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 <(huh?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelEagle Posted February 25, 2014 Report Share Posted February 25, 2014 Instead of stating it as fact, use more vague language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krad1213 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2014 Instead of stating it as fact, use more vague language.How so? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted March 1, 2014 Report Share Posted March 1, 2014 If you're having difficulty figuring out the difference between something implied to be incontestable fact and something that can be left up to interpretation, you're probably better off omitting the part about your OC craving strawberry shakes as a result of that accident. Seeing that bit of characterization is relatively minor in the grand scheme of this app sheet, you can remove it if you'd rather speed up the process. We just want to make sure that users don't blatantly break the rules of MLP magic in our structured RPs, which is why you're not allowed to state the craving thing as an outright fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armony Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 Would you like to keep this application open? Please let us know soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krad1213 Posted March 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 Yes I would like to keep it open Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krad1213 Posted March 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2014 I think it looks better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted March 9, 2014 Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 You forgot to remove the highlighted passage from the Unique Traits field:Unique Traits: He has a special move he calls the 'Soul Dash' as he can't think of something else to call it and he has yet to perfect it. On a new moon his eyes turn burnished silver with the pupils gaining stars in them.You also still need to explain what a Soul Dash is for RPH to make a judgement on it. If you can't think of how it works and it's not all that important for your character to have, you might as remove the mention of that too. That would allow us to finally expedite this application. ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krad1213 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 How's that? I hope the Soul Dash is okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted March 10, 2014 Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Okie dokie:We've never seen an instance of a pegasi flying fast enough to produce a "before image", not even Rainbow Dash. Therefore, that particular aspect of the Soul Dash is not permitted in Canterlot Chronicles.I can't believe I didn't notice this earlier, but I don't see a Cutie Mark Story in your app. Please add one ASAP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krad1213 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 Is that better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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