Pegasus Crystal Blade

[Shimmer Star]

Name: Crystal Blade

Gender: Female

Age: Young Mare

Species: Pegasus

Pelt Color: Dark-ish blue #04859D

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Light silver mane and tail with a deep golden streak. She wears them short and straight. #A67100 and #B2BBC5

Eye Color: Golden brown

Cutie Mark: A sword with a light blue blade and a golden hilt.

Physique: Slim but muscular.

Origin: Canterlot

Roleplay Type: Mane

Occupation: Royal guard.

Motivation: To keep the places and ponies she's charged with safe.

Likes: Fighting, sharp objects, winning arguments.

Dislikes: Losing, being made to wear all her armor, being called Crystal, having to dress up at all.

Character Summary: Ever since she was a foal, Blade has been a trouble maker. She often got into fights with other ponies at school, and was normally grumpy, disrespectful and sarcastic. This was mainly due to her mother being wrapped up in her own guarding duties, and hardly paying attention to Blade. The lack of attention was making the young pegasus into a bully as she did bigger and bigger things to try to gain her mothers attention. But when Crystalline realized what her daughter was doing, (And that she seemed almost good at it.) she decided to show her daughter how to trouble make for the right things, and started teaching Crystal Blade when was the right time to fight, and how to do it with out hurting the other ponies.

Blade easily picked up the fighting moves her mother showed her, and found out this was one thing she was actually good at. (She had been failing all her classes at school, even if she was smart.) The first time Crystal Blade got to show of her skills was one day in the school yard. One of her class's bullies had approached her, shouting out taunts at her, and at a few of the ponies around her. Blade usually would have throwing a hoofful of cutting retorts in his face, to actually try to hurt his feelings, but not this time. This time she just smiled and attacked.

She didn't actually hurt him, of course, but in three moves, she was standing over the bully, who was on the ground. She had learned how to show him he shouldn't mess with her and the others, without hurting him. So, as Blade gave another one of knowing smiles, her cutie mark appeared. a blue and gold sword.

When her mother saw her cutie marl she was proud, but didn't celebrate. Instead she simply smiled, and got her daughter out of school and enrolled in the guard's training program. Crystal Blade was on her way to a career.

Now, Crystal Blade is a full fledged member of the royal guard. She doesn't actually guard the princesses though, she was quickly deemed to unruly for that. Instead she's usually helping fly important ponies to and from Canterlot, or has been sent on a mission. Even if Blade keeps up a grumpy temper on the outside, she truly is happy with her job, and hopes to keep doing it for a long time.

By Buxy!

Crystal Blade in her foal-like glory, by cheese canan

By me ^^

[RarityDash]

Her concept seems similar to the one I posted earlier today.

I'm fine with that though. I say another female guard pony is cool to have.

[Shimmer Star]

Oh, really? Sorry. Didn't know there was another female guard charrie. I bet their personalitys will be totally different though.

[RarityDash]

It's cool. I only did just post her today, so I'm not surprised.

It does sound like there are some similarities to the characters, but there are also some fundamental differences. My Radiant's cutie mark moment was about her enduring in a fight rather than beating someone, and her cutie mark is a shield rather than a sword, so that probably speaks to a fundamental difference in approach.

Given their similar ages and backgrounds, I imagine the two of them might probably be familiar with each other should they both be approved.

[CherryRie]

Hay there!

Hmm, I'm intregued by this app, there's a lot of potential that's just ripe for the jucing!

[Critic hat]

Okay, so far it feels like you've thought out this character in your own head but haven't translated all of it to paper. You have a handle on what you're aiming for but the presentation feels a little flat, two dimensional as it were with little in the way of deep personality. What we need to do is round out this model; draw her out from a background character into a full colour pony with a depth of persona that will make her both a fun character to play and interesting for others to interact with.

I might have gotten the wrong end of the stick here, but violence seems to be fairly central to her character. You say she loves fighting, but my question to that would be 'why?' I'm not sure if that's what you were aiming for or not, though from what I've seen ponies aren't naturally aggressive. Passionate. But not aggressive. At the moment her background makes her sound like a school yard thug with authority. Mind you I don't know if we've had similar characters in the past or not. What you might want to consider is making her described motivation the deciding factor of her personality, perhaps even rethink her cutie mark story to suit.

Perhaps she really was a school yard thug at one point, but bullies rarely simply poof into existence. What possible events could have driven her to such acts or turned so many against her? You've said her mother was a guard. Long hours of stoic emotionless duty, could it be that her mother was distant and didn't really know how to interact with her daughter? But if so, why did she then think the best idea was to arm this aggressive filly with technique? Perhaps what she gave her was not the ability to fight, but the discipline to know 'when' to fight.

Maybe when she returned to school, she earned her cutie mark by doing the exact opposite to what she had been doing up till then; stepped in to protect a school friend from the bullies or perhaps marauding wildlife on a field trip?

[/Critic hat]

This is all speculation of course, I can't get inside your head to see the core consept but this is the exposition I can derive from what you've written so far. What I'm saying is you need some meat on the bones. It might seem arduous, but by thinking through such events from a neutral perspective you find yourself become ever more endeared to the character you create.

Anywho, as a character she's well on the way. Keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing where this goes from here

[Shimmer Star]

Thanks for that Cherry. I do think that is kind of where I was going with her, for her mother to have ina way made grumpy by not giving her daughter much attention.

[Shimmer Star]

Added a bit more to her character summary, using some of Cherry Rei's suggestion.

[BlindJester]

[Skye]