[Clawifax] The Fate of El Coltrado: Villains Meet

[Bramble Rose]

Baron von Hoofington sat at the desk in his office, going over the reports. What caliber of thugs was he reduced to working with? Honestly. This was no way for a Baron to make his way. But if he was ever to prove his worth and earn his true title back from the upstarts that stole it from him, he would have to put up with the riff raff.

But still. He'd prefer thugs that could spell correctly. He'd been caught up in the Gallopocus longer than he'd expected, or else he'd have been here himself. He knew that he could have made it work. It wasn't as if Doctor Brazil Nut had shown up, after all! Just a few mares!

However ... if those griffins weren't exaggerating ... they had somehow, in some way ... managed to obtain the aid of a Prince?! Well. How unexpected! He shuffled the papers together and stacked them on the desk, then stepped over to the cabinet. This ... called for the GOOD hat. He took off his fez and tucked it away, along with his green and gold robes, then pulled out his white jacket. He dusted it off of every little bit of lint and pulled it on, then opened up the hat box. He took a deep breath, brushed aside the tissue paper, and drew out the white fedora to put upon his head.

There. Ready. Preened a few feathers in his wings, made sure he was absolutely presentable, then announced to the crew to bring the Prince in.

Outside, the griffin thugs pulled a carriage upwards, their wings flapping and their clawed talons gripping at the air, bringing Prince Blueblood up to the airship floating up above. Not quite as perfect and unmarked as the Baron might hope, but several years ago it had been terribly impressive. But since then, it had seen many, many adventures across all of Equestria. Each little scar and marred place told a story of adventure. But would those stories impress a Prince?

​

[Blueblood]

Now that he had some time to make himself presentable, Prince Blueblood was actually feeling rather braced, given the circumstances. True, he hadn't exactly planned for his trip down south to be anything more than a quiet and splendid promenade down the more presentable Boulevards of Clawifax, but Fate had to put its hoof in once in a while, didn't it? One never knew when one might have an encounter with a trio of infamous jewel thieves!

...True, the Prince had not exactly acquitted himself well in that little episode, but really, the constabulary here were simply not up to Canterlot standards, as far as guarding went. The picture they made flying his carriage contrasted disfavourably with the elegance of the white pegasi usually reserved for Royal trips. Still, undignified position or not, there was a deep and quiet ember of happiness in the unicorn stallion as he was borne upward to meet with the rightful owner of that pendant scrapped for in the street? Was it the knowledge of a good deed about to be done? The spirit of adventure?

*At any rate, at the end of this, Auntie won't be able to accuse me of not exerting myself in worthy pursuits. I have gotten rather tired of snide allusions from family members.* More than anything else, being able to throw this in the too-smug faces of certain alicorns drove Bleublood onwards and upwards.

The ship and owner were equally scarred, which took the Prince back abit. "Baron... Hoofington?" The Prince wracked his none too considerable brains. He'd met the Baron before at some society soiree or other, or at least was introduced to the holder of the title. But he didn't remember the scars, or that hat. He'd know that hat anywhere.

[Bramble Rose]

The Baron smiled as he saw the prince come into his office. Finally. A little recognition!

Or ... maybe 'recognition' wasn't the right word, not with how Prince Blueblood looked so bewildered. The Baron stepped around his desk and moved forward to shake the Prince's hoof. "Ah, you highness. So pleased to make you acvaintance," he said, every movement exuding the Baron's impeccable manners. Trained into him religiously as a young colt. "Yes, I'm sure, not ze Baron von Hoofington you vere expectink." He had heard of Prince Blueblood - while others might consider it tacky, Blueblood was one who appreciated those of proper birth. He had his papers ready, and handed them over. "My credentials. As hyu kin see, I am my father's son, despite a certain irregularity vit' my birth. He acknowledged me as his heir ... but since I vas too young to put up a proper fight when he passed, mein relatives, zey stole my proper title from me. Zis is ... a temporary setback only. I am working even now for ze backing to regain it... but vether I haff ze title officially or no, zis does no remove from me ze responsibilities of beink Baron, ya?"

​

[Blueblood]

As the well-practiced manners of the theatrically accented Baron washed over the Prince like gentle ocean waves, the royal personage was put at his ease as if he were sailing his favorite yacht over the seas. This was the world he knew well, and it was something of a relief to sink back into it after sojourns into unfamiliar social territories. "Ah, yes, now I remember; there was that huge tiff in the chancery courts a few years ago, wasn't there? Cut you off with a bit, did they?"

As he looked over the proffered papers, his satisfied curiosity stimulated his memory. Of course, society had been buzzing about it at the time, but like so many teapot tempests, it had all ended in steam. There were, of course, stories told about the "false baron," but Blueblood was willing to discount them. After all, when you're making a claim out on a titled estate, you must paint your opponent as black as possible in the course of your campaign. That was just how things were Done.

"Good to know that there's somepony at least who takes this whole business seriously. Ponies are so dreadfully lax about degrees of nobility these days..." The unicorn shook his head, magically returning the papers. "Anyhow, getting back to why I'm here- it was your pendant that those three mares filched, wasn't it? Old heirloom, key to the claim?" It would explain a lot, now that he thought about it. If it was somehow connected to the Hoofington estate, the claimants would be willing to pay much more than its intrinsic worth, and would not stoop at employing thieves...

[Bramble Rose]

The Baron shook his head. "Ach, I fear no. T'ough hyu could say dat it iz owink to me from my great-great-grandfather's cousin's behalf on my mother's father's father's side - lost it in a card game, but it turn out de other pony was chust a beeg cheater ... started a bit of a scuffle dere. Ho yes." That lasted two generations, at least ... "I did inherit from dat line. But after so long, dat claim would be qvickly tossed out. No, just tryink to make sure dat it ends up in de right hooves. I know dis group of collectors who make it deir goal to safeguard ancient und rare artifacts for de good of posterity."

Not to mention they just got an ego boost from having such a large and private collection. And the fact that they'd owe the Baron a very important favor when it came time to pursue his title was no nevermind... Hardly even worth mentioning.

"But where my manners, da? Here hyu are, visitink for several minutes, und I haff no even given hyu a drink yet." He stepped over to the wine chest. "Hy haff no been in a civil port for hooo... too long. But I haff a few bottles left for special guests. Hyu vant de chardoney or de port?" He pulled down two wine glasses as he smiled to his guest. "Und vot brinks you to dis uncultured place?"

​

[Blueblood]

Blueblood winced in sympathy was the Baron related the sad story of the card game. He'd tales enough like that in his own ancestry, and he'd lost a bit in his younger days to certain unscrupulous piquet players at University... *"Not really sure of the rules" my hoof!* Shaking the sour memories from his head, the Prince replied, "Ah, well, jolly good for you, then. You're a good sort; I think you'll do well when the suit comes to court. Oh, port, thank you."

Receiving the glass with customary elegance, he raised it in a gesture of amity towards his host before taking the first sip. "Hm, the '91? Quite generous of you." There was a vague sensation in the back of the stallion's mind that he was somehow being schmoozed, but that didn't quite make sense with the situation as he saw it. Besides, who wouldn't be a generous host with a Prince in his midst? "I was on an extended yachting trip; had to get away from the old city, you know? Decided to do a little promenading around the more presentable boulevards of Clawifax. It's all right, I suppose, but they've got a ways to go, as far as setting up an actual working Guard goes."

[Bramble Rose]

The Baron was feeling marginally at ease. All the treasure hunting, all the danger and chases and wordplay and scuffles, all of those were well enough for a living, true ... but it was all for this. The chance to spend a little quality time with his peers, being treated like an equal. "Ah, well, dose guys I work wit, dey no appreciate de good shutff, ya? Hy admit dat I am celebratin' chust bein' in decent company again. Und I be off on de chase again all too soon. Dey giff me no rest. Hy don' even know dese t'ieves. Well. One of dem by reputation. A fangirl sort of t'ief dat destroys more art dan she gets." He circled his hoof by his ear. "She's no all dere, ya?"

"As for Clawifax ... no bad, no bad. Dey's a rough short down dere... but you learn to be a bit rough back, ya?" He let out a chortle. "And de ladies, dey's all soft an' dangerous ... like a pudding-bag full of knives! Rowr. I admit I like dis town from time to time. Did hyu get de chance to see de academy, an' de inventions de shmott guys here make? Great show. Or de cliffs? Vat a view!"

​

[Blueblood]

Blueblood was willing enough to accede to the Baron's assessment of the thieves' mental capacity, though they were demonstrably more capable than he in keeping their heads in a crisis. Keeping up appearances was pretty much everything in high society, which is why his next words were, "Oh, I enjoyed what I saw of the scenery right enough; didn't have a chance to take in the show at the academy, of course. I only got off my boat yesterday." In truth, the Prince had made no plans to appreciate either, possibly because he lacked the capacity to do so, given that he had no eye for landscape and talking with academics gave him a headache.

Still, the talk gave him a segue into the business at hand, which he took readily enough. "Well, I'll take the roughness of local ladies over the sheer boorishness of the tourists! Speaking of which, we do have those thieves to track down. I'll lend whatever assistance I can to tracking them down, of course. It's my duty as a Prince to see justice done." How he spoke those words with a straight face was an eternal mystery to the scholars and philosophers. "I don't suppose you've any clue of where they're headed? You don't suppose they're going to sell their ill-gotten gains?"

[Bramble Rose]

Baron von Hoofington nodded in satisfaction. "Ov course, to de bizness at hoof." He carefully restoppered the rest of the wine and put it back in the cabinet with a sigh. It really was best to take care of the bottle once it was opened, but they had business to do. "Accordink to mine associates, so to speak, de t'ieves have made off to de Nort'west. Right along de mountain range. I am quite ready to take off for de trip as soon as hyu are ready. Do hyu haff everyt'ing hyu need? Or should I zend somevun to go fetch hyu t'ings?"

​

[Blueblood]

It also rather pained Blueblood to see the fine port treated so casually, especially as he himself had never let business get in the way of enjoying a good bottle. Of course, usually the nitty-gritty was handled by his secretary who... was not here. Right. "I should like to have the changes of clothes I left back in my yacht, I'm not exactly dressed for a pursuit at the moment." He looked down at his light summer suit, rather worse for the wear after the chase in Clawifax. "Especially not in the mountains. Other than that, however, I don't have much. I re-provision in every port of call, but I hadn't here before getting caught up in this whole business."

The unicorn drained his glass, setting it with care upon the sideboard. "I don't suppose it'll be too much trouble, all things considered, to catch up with them and haul them to justice. We do have the advantage in personnel and resources."

[Bramble Rose]

"Right," the Baron nodded. "Den hy shall zend my batmare to fetch hyu t'ings, if hyu vill write a note authorizing deir removal?" He passed a quill and parchment across the table to Prince Blueblood. "Hy am fully stocked, und mein crew shall immediately begin preparing for departure!" While Prince Blueblood prepared his note, the Baron strode across the room to the doorway, opening it and calling instructions out for the final preparations for launch. Then he came back into the office, and pulled out a map to spread across a table, weighing it down with largish geodes left there for just such a purpose.

"All right. Ve can't be sure jes' how dey are planning - de mountains along here are slow travel, but dey haff a head start, und a bit of flight to dem. Dey might be taking a ship from some hidden smuggler's cove along de shore, so ve haff to keep an eye open, ya? Perhaps send some scouts to check de known ones... " He took out small miniatures of ships, and set them to the three smuggler's coves he knew about along the shore. "Here, here, unnnnd ... here, are de vuns Hy know of. Hyu haff any to add? Und den dere are two different sets of ruins in dese mountains... a temple here... " he set down a small pillar. "Und an old noble's retreat right here..." he set down another. "It vas also a site for some odd rituals ... aligns properly vit' de stars and stuff. But at de end of de mountain chain, past Mt. Vukizo, dere is dis Zebra village. Hy know Chief Tize dere, he und I haff done business before. A trustworthy sort. Und de baths dere are ... so relaxing. Definitely wort' de stop if ve are no in too much of a hurry by den."

The Baron sighed and shook his head. "If ve do no find zem by dat point, den we must assume dat dey haff taken off across de Savanna. If dis iz de case, dey vill have a very strong lead on us... but it is hard for a set of ponies to hide among de zebras, no? Dey not too suttle out dere! Ve find zeir track right quick."

​

[Blueblood]

With the practiced flourish of one used to giving orders and authorizations to servants and other menials, Blueblood dashed off a quick note for the Baron's batmare. Everything was going to be perfectly alright, he was certain. There was even something rather jolly about the whole business, public spirit aside. Two noble gentlecolts, bringing a gang of thieves to justice, by airship!

As sudden clunk and shudder of the engines made the Prince's stomach lurch. Oh, right, he'd forgotten... usually, when airships were stationary or in motion, he could forget that they essentially relied on a perfectly-running set of mechanisms to keep everypony on board from plunging to a firey death. But whenever there was a sudden change in vector-

*No. Think about something else. Anything else.*

Fortunately, the Baron returned before Blueblood had to venture too far in search of his happy place. Desperate to keep his mind calm, he studied the map and figures with much more intensity than was usual for him. Were those... from wargames? The Prince had heard stories about the sort of ponies who played those games. It would be rather disturbing to find out at this point that the Baron was one of... them.

Wait, was he just asked a question? "Hm? Oh, yes, certainly." He hoped that sounded like a logical response to whatever question had been sent his way. A singular thought (Blueblood rarely had more than one of them at a time) then began to emerge from the back of his mind, and he took a step back to see the map as a whole. "Hang on... they've got their haul; why do you think they'd go out into the wilds like that? Wouldn't it make more sense for them to head to a fence of some kind? They'd get the best price in Equestria." Blueblood knew the luxury market quite well; if you wanted to get a lot of money for something rare and unusual, Equestria, and Canterlot in particular, held the largest number of customers willing to pay the most. Unyasi didn't have near enough available capital (read: rich idiots) to be quite so profitable a market.

[Bramble Rose]

The Baron sighed. "Hyu is, ov course, too right. Und I vish dat zis vas truly de case, dat dey just vished to sell it. I vould buy it from zem chust like dot. But vat you do not know is dat dis jewel dey haff shtolen iz vun part uv a map dat leads to a hidden treasure - a lost city - de city vot spawned de legends of El Coltrado. Obviously no all de legends kin be true, but it is a major historical find! Und it is dis city dey vish to be lootink!"

He shook his head. "Ze artifacts in dat city need to be turned over to ze proper authorities. Hy know an antiquities group in Canterlot vut iz dedicated to protecting ze past like dot." Admittedly, it was the secret Royal Society of Librarians dedicated to the nobility, and his payment was more and more political clout in getting his title back, but he didn't need to *mention* that part. "Und to zat end, zey will be tryink to decipher ze glyphes hidden in ze ruby. Zis is vy zey vill no be going to a large city."

​

[Bramble Rose]

The Baron sighed. "Hyu is, ov course, too right. Und I vish dat zis vas truly de case, dat dey just vished to sell it. I vould buy it from zem chust like dot. But vat you do not know is dat dis jewel dey haff shtolen iz vun part uv a map dat leads to a hidden treasure - a lost city - de city vot spawned de legends of El Coltrado. Obviously no all de legends kin be true, but it is a major historical find! Und it is dis city dey vish to be lootink!"

He shook his head. "Ze artifacts in dat city need to be turned over to ze proper authorities. Hy know an antiquities group in Canterlot vut iz dedicated to protecting ze past like dot." Admittedly, it was the secret Royal Society of Librarians dedicated to the nobility, and his payment was more and more political clout in getting his title back, but he didn't need to *mention* that part. "Und to zat end, zey will be tryink to decipher ze glyphes hidden in ze ruby. Zis is vy zey vill no be goink to a large city."

​

[Blueblood]

"Oh...." The Prince said slowly, almost sighing as he nodded in what he hoped was a knowing matter. Oh dear, this really was going to be another adventure, wasn't it? Maps to lost cities, treasure, historical scholars at home for whom one risked hide and hair... how like a vulgar pulp novel!

But, noblesse oblige and all that. Can't let jewel thieves humiliate one like that and get away with the goods. Particularly when one's title was at stake, of course. The Prince had to acknowledge that he was obliged to help the baron in that respect. After all, if they didn't take such things seriously, certainly nopony else would ever care! "Well, I suppose we'd better be off, then. I'll be behind you all the way."

And thus did Prince Blueblood cast himself as a villain in the latest Daring Do book. From the best of intentions, naturally.

(I think we're getting to the natural wrapping-up point here.)